Plain faced Fanny Brice rises to stardom on the New York Vaudeville Stage and maintains a turbulent marriage with suave gambler Nick Arnstein.

Nick Arnstein: [Nicky Arnstein has just ordered "filet de boeuf, sauce bordelaise" in French]
Fanny Brice: I would have ordered roast beef and potatoes.
Nick Arnstein: I did.
Fannie Brice: I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!
Fanny Brice: Where I come from, when two people... well, sort of love each other... oh, never mind.
Nick Arnstein: Well? What do they do when they "sort of love each other"?
Fanny Brice: Well, one of them says, "Why don't we get married?"
Nick Arnstein: Really?
Fanny Brice: Yeah, and sometimes it's even the man.
Florenz Ziegfeld: Miss Brice, do I have to remind you this is my theatre?
Fanny Brice: So what, nobody argues with the landlord?
Rose Brice: What kind of mother would name a boy Florence?
Eddie Ryan: It's Florenz-zzz
Rose Brice: What kind of mother would name a boy Florenz-zzzzzz?
Rose Brice: When you look at him, you only see what you want to see.
Fanny Brice: I see him as he is. I love him as he is!
Rose Brice: Fanny. Love him a little less. Help him a little more.
Fanny Brice: He's a gentleman. A gentleman fits in anyplace.
Rose Brice: A sponge fits in anyplace.
Mrs. Strakosh: [referring to Nick Arnstein] Candidly, Mrs. Brice, that's one good-looking fella.
Rose Brice: Hmm... gorgeous. Like Fanny's papa, my ex. Also gorgeous. Wherever he is... he should only stay there.
Fanny Brice: You could get lonesome being that free.
Nick Arnstein: You could get lonesome being that busy.
Fanny Brice: Now who'd think to look at us that we got the same problem!
Fanny Brice: Flo! Flo, quit yelling or your ulcer will flare up.
Florenz Ziegfeld: That's funny coming from you, you gave me that ulcer!
Fanny Brice: [singing] Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter.
[last lines]
Nick Arnstein: Goodbye, Fanny.
Fanny Brice: Bye, Nick.
[song "My Man" follows]
Fanny Brice: "No law against waiting," I said, "people do it all the time." For once, I didn't say too much, I didn't say too little, I said just what I said and then walked.
Fanny Brice: You think beautiful girls are going to stay in style forever? I should say not! Any minute now they're going to be out! Finished! Then it'll be my turn!
Nick Arnstein: So long, funny girl.
[first lines]
Fanny Brice: [looking in the mirror] Hello, gorgeous.
Fanny Brice: If I can't tell when you're ordering roast beef and potatoes, how will I know when you're making advances?
Nick Arnstein: You'll know. I'll be much more direct.
Fanny Brice: You were wrong, Mrs. Strakosh.
Nick Arnstein: I'd be happy to wait while you change.
Fanny: I'd have to change too much, nobody could wait that long.