Hellboy II: The Golden Army Quotes
The mythical world starts a rebellion against humanity in order to rule the Earth, so Hellboy and his team must save the world from the rebellious creatures.
Tom Manning: What's going on? What's going on?
Hellboy: I quit.
[gives Manning his belt and weapon]
Tom Manning: What? Are you serious?
Liz Sherman: Looks that way doesn't it?
[gives Manning her belt and weapon]
Tom Manning: What's wrong with you? You can't all just quit.
Abe Sapien: [gives Manning his belt and weapons] Watch us.
[pats Manning on the cheek and walks past him]
Hellboy: [comes back] On second thought...
[pulls out the Samaritan]
Hellboy: I think I'll keep this!
[walks away]
Tom Manning: Come on. Come on! Johann, they can't do this. Stop them.
Johann Krauss: Dr. Manning, suck my ectoplasmic schwanzstucker!
Hellboy: I quit.
[gives Manning his belt and weapon]
Tom Manning: What? Are you serious?
Liz Sherman: Looks that way doesn't it?
[gives Manning her belt and weapon]
Tom Manning: What's wrong with you? You can't all just quit.
Abe Sapien: [gives Manning his belt and weapons] Watch us.
[pats Manning on the cheek and walks past him]
Hellboy: [comes back] On second thought...
[pulls out the Samaritan]
Hellboy: I think I'll keep this!
[walks away]
Tom Manning: Come on. Come on! Johann, they can't do this. Stop them.
Johann Krauss: Dr. Manning, suck my ectoplasmic schwanzstucker!
Johann Krauss: You say I'm not human, but on the contrary, I understand your pain all too well. You see, a long time ago, I lost the woman I love, and that was, in fact, the cause of my present misfortune. I will tell you about it someday. But for now, the tactical advantage is ours! Consider this: the Prince lacks the crown piece. And without it, his Army poses no threat to us.
Liz Sherman: So, we have clearance then?
Johann Krauss: Agent Sherman... Liz... screw ze clearance! Ve vill *take* that plane!
Liz Sherman: So, we have clearance then?
Johann Krauss: Agent Sherman... Liz... screw ze clearance! Ve vill *take* that plane!
Prince Nuada: [to Hellboy about the Forest god] Demon! What are you waiting for? This is what you want, isn't it? Look at it. The last of its kind. Like you and I. If you destroy it, the world will never see its kind again... You have more in common with us than with them. You could be a king... If you cannot command, than you must obey.
Angel of Death: Anung un Rama...
Liz Sherman: You know that name?
Angel of Death: And yours, Elizabeth Sherman. At last, I have been waiting for you both, I am his death and I will meet him at every crossroad.
Liz Sherman: Can you save him?
Angel of Death: It is for you to decide. It is all the same to me, my heart is filled with dust and sand. But you should know, it is his destiny to bring about the destruction of the Earth... not now, not tomorrow but soon enough. Knowing that, you still want him to live?
[Liz pauses]
Angel of Death: So, child, make the choice. The world, or him?
Liz Sherman: Him.
Angel of Death: The time will come, and you, my dear, will suffer more than anyone.
Liz Sherman: I'll deal with it. Now save him.
Angel of Death: It is done.
[the Angel removes the spearhead from Hellboy's chest]
Angel of Death: I have done what I can, now give him a reason to live.
Liz Sherman: You know that name?
Angel of Death: And yours, Elizabeth Sherman. At last, I have been waiting for you both, I am his death and I will meet him at every crossroad.
Liz Sherman: Can you save him?
Angel of Death: It is for you to decide. It is all the same to me, my heart is filled with dust and sand. But you should know, it is his destiny to bring about the destruction of the Earth... not now, not tomorrow but soon enough. Knowing that, you still want him to live?
[Liz pauses]
Angel of Death: So, child, make the choice. The world, or him?
Liz Sherman: Him.
Angel of Death: The time will come, and you, my dear, will suffer more than anyone.
Liz Sherman: I'll deal with it. Now save him.
Angel of Death: It is done.
[the Angel removes the spearhead from Hellboy's chest]
Angel of Death: I have done what I can, now give him a reason to live.
Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: It is said that at the dawn of time, man, beast, and all magical beings lived together under Aeglin, the Father Tree. But man had been created with a hole in his heart, a hole that no possession, power, or knowledge could fill. And in his infinite greed, man dreamed of expanding his dominion over the entire earth. The blood of many an elf, ogre, and goblin was spilled in their war with man, and King Balor, the one-armed king of Elfland, watched the slaughter in dread and despair. But one day, the master of the goblin blacksmiths offered to build the king a golden mechanical army, seventy times seventy soldiers, that would never know hunger, and could not be stopped. Prince Nuada begged his father to agree. "Build me this army," the king said. And so, a magical crown was forged that would allow those of royal blood to command the Golden Army, if unchallenged. "I am King Balor, leader of the Golden Army. Is there anyone who disputes my right?" And in his throne room, no one challenged his word.
Prince Nuada: The humans... the humans have forgotten the gods, destroyed the earth, and for what? Parking lots? Shopping malls? Greed had burned a hole in their hearts that will never be filled! They will never have enough!
King Balor: What humans do is in their nature. To honor the truce is in ours.
Prince Nuada: Honor? Look at this place! Where is the honor in this? Father, you were once a proud warrior. When did you become their pet?
[turns to the council]
Prince Nuada: I have returned from exile to wage war and reclaim our land, our birthright! And for that I will call upon the help of all my people and they will answer. The good, the bad...
[holds up the crown piece]
Prince Nuada: ... and the worst.
King Balor: [puts a hand to his own crown piece] The Golden Army? You cannot be that mad!
Prince Nuada: Perhaps I am. Perhaps they made me so.
King Balor: What humans do is in their nature. To honor the truce is in ours.
Prince Nuada: Honor? Look at this place! Where is the honor in this? Father, you were once a proud warrior. When did you become their pet?
[turns to the council]
Prince Nuada: I have returned from exile to wage war and reclaim our land, our birthright! And for that I will call upon the help of all my people and they will answer. The good, the bad...
[holds up the crown piece]
Prince Nuada: ... and the worst.
King Balor: [puts a hand to his own crown piece] The Golden Army? You cannot be that mad!
Prince Nuada: Perhaps I am. Perhaps they made me so.
Abe Sapien: My name is Abraham Sapien.
Princess Nuala: There is no such name.
Abe Sapien: Oh, I don't like it much either, but...
Princess Nuala: Enough! Give me your hand.
Abe Sapien: I'm sorry?
[she menaces him with her dagger; he holds up his hand, and she places hers against it]
Princess Nuala: You are an agent of the Bureau For Paranormal Research And Defense.
Abe Sapien: Yes.
Princess Nuala: And your name is... oh, dear.
Abe Sapien: Awful, I know.
Princess Nuala: There is no such name.
Abe Sapien: Oh, I don't like it much either, but...
Princess Nuala: Enough! Give me your hand.
Abe Sapien: I'm sorry?
[she menaces him with her dagger; he holds up his hand, and she places hers against it]
Princess Nuala: You are an agent of the Bureau For Paranormal Research And Defense.
Abe Sapien: Yes.
Princess Nuala: And your name is... oh, dear.
Abe Sapien: Awful, I know.
Prince Nuada: [to Nuala, catching her in the library] Very creative of you. The parchment was of no importance. The cylinder... is very interesting
[picking up the burning chamber and rolling it to burn the imprint across the table, revealing a map]
Prince Nuada: We will find the Golden Army here. As for the crown piece, I know it's here.I can feel that much in you. Father always tried so hard to shield your heart from mine.
[pacing around the bookcase]
Prince Nuada: It's in one of the books and I will find it.
[holding a book, before throwing it down]
Prince Nuada: Blue? You always look so beautiful in blue. Blue, poetry, love, and lust. Only words. I will find it.
Princess Nuala: [Eyes the blue-colored book she placed the hidden crown piece in]
[picking up the burning chamber and rolling it to burn the imprint across the table, revealing a map]
Prince Nuada: We will find the Golden Army here. As for the crown piece, I know it's here.I can feel that much in you. Father always tried so hard to shield your heart from mine.
[pacing around the bookcase]
Prince Nuada: It's in one of the books and I will find it.
[holding a book, before throwing it down]
Prince Nuada: Blue? You always look so beautiful in blue. Blue, poetry, love, and lust. Only words. I will find it.
Princess Nuala: [Eyes the blue-colored book she placed the hidden crown piece in]
Hellboy: Come on, Abe! What are these things?
Abe Sapien: Carcharadon Carcharias.
Hellboy: English, English.
Abe Sapien: They're, um... tooth fairies.
Hellboy: Ha!
Abe Sapien: No. Black Forest, 3rd Century. They feed mostly on calcium. Bones, skin, organs... But they do usually go after the teeth first. Hence the name, "tooth fairies."
Liz Sherman: Bet you they don't leave money, either.
Abe Sapien: Carcharadon Carcharias.
Hellboy: English, English.
Abe Sapien: They're, um... tooth fairies.
Hellboy: Ha!
Abe Sapien: No. Black Forest, 3rd Century. They feed mostly on calcium. Bones, skin, organs... But they do usually go after the teeth first. Hence the name, "tooth fairies."
Liz Sherman: Bet you they don't leave money, either.
[first lines]
Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: My son, would you turn off that wretched puppet, and brush your teeth?
Young Hellboy: Don't call him a puppet!
Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: I beg your pardon?
Young Hellboy: He's not a puppet! Howdy Doody's real!
Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: Well, Mr. Dee-dee Doo-doo will have to say good night.
Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: My son, would you turn off that wretched puppet, and brush your teeth?
Young Hellboy: Don't call him a puppet!
Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: I beg your pardon?
Young Hellboy: He's not a puppet! Howdy Doody's real!
Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: Well, Mr. Dee-dee Doo-doo will have to say good night.
[entering the Golden Army chamber]
Goblin: Here we are... and there they are. Seventy times seventy soldiers. Sometimes I wish we'd never created them. Bim-bam went the hammers! Whoosh went the furnaces! One of those fires took my legs off. This is as far as I go. I'm not very good with steps. But if you're here to stop him, the Prince, I wish you luck. The Golden Army must not awaken. Undo what we did.
Goblin: Here we are... and there they are. Seventy times seventy soldiers. Sometimes I wish we'd never created them. Bim-bam went the hammers! Whoosh went the furnaces! One of those fires took my legs off. This is as far as I go. I'm not very good with steps. But if you're here to stop him, the Prince, I wish you luck. The Golden Army must not awaken. Undo what we did.
Tom Manning: "Undercover." Can't he get the meaning of the word? I mean, we are still government-funded, we are still a secret, although a dirty secret, if you ask me. Officially, we-do-not-exist. So, you see, that's the problem when we get these.
[shows Abe a series of photos]
Tom Manning: Subway... highway... ah, park.
[holds up one, showing Hellboy giving a "peace" sign with his stone hand]
Tom Manning: And he posed for this one, and gave an autograph. I suppress each photo, cell phone videos, they cost me a fortune, and then they show up on Youtube... God, I hate Youtube!
[shows Abe a series of photos]
Tom Manning: Subway... highway... ah, park.
[holds up one, showing Hellboy giving a "peace" sign with his stone hand]
Tom Manning: And he posed for this one, and gave an autograph. I suppress each photo, cell phone videos, they cost me a fortune, and then they show up on Youtube... God, I hate Youtube!
Tom Manning: What are these things?
Liz Sherman: We normally can't see fairy folk and trolls. They emit a cloaking aura of "glamour." But in 1838, Emil Schuffstein designed these. Four crystal diopters that allows you to see things as they really are. Keep an eye on her.
[Manning sees the team following a bag lady pushing a shopping cart full of kittens]
Tom Manning: That little old lady? Come on!
Liz Sherman: It's a Fragglewump. An ugly Scottish troll. They're afraid of canaries.
[Manning puts on the glasses and looks again]
Tom Manning: Oh, my God! Canaries, huh? What about the kittens?
Liz Sherman: She feeds on them.
Tom Manning: That thing is a "she?"
Liz Sherman: We normally can't see fairy folk and trolls. They emit a cloaking aura of "glamour." But in 1838, Emil Schuffstein designed these. Four crystal diopters that allows you to see things as they really are. Keep an eye on her.
[Manning sees the team following a bag lady pushing a shopping cart full of kittens]
Tom Manning: That little old lady? Come on!
Liz Sherman: It's a Fragglewump. An ugly Scottish troll. They're afraid of canaries.
[Manning puts on the glasses and looks again]
Tom Manning: Oh, my God! Canaries, huh? What about the kittens?
Liz Sherman: She feeds on them.
Tom Manning: That thing is a "she?"
Hellboy: [drunk] Why is she mad at me? And it's not about the mess, either, it's about something else.
Abe Sapien: [also drunk] Well, ask her then!
Hellboy: No! Look, Abe, when a woman's mad at you, but she's really mad about something else, and you have to ask, she gets mad because you had to ask in the first place! You know?
Abe Sapien: Uh...
Hellboy: Never mind, don't answer that.
Abe Sapien: [also drunk] Well, ask her then!
Hellboy: No! Look, Abe, when a woman's mad at you, but she's really mad about something else, and you have to ask, she gets mad because you had to ask in the first place! You know?
Abe Sapien: Uh...
Hellboy: Never mind, don't answer that.
Liz Sherman: We're looking for the entrance to BethMora.
Goblin: What would a nice girl like you be wanting in the Nightlands?
Liz Sherman: We are looking for Prince Nuada.
Goblin: Ah, him I know. Trade me something, and I'll take you to him.
Liz Sherman: Here, I have a shiny belt.
Goblin: [his legs are missing] But I have no pants.
Liz Sherman: I have a wonderful pair of magic eyes...
Goblin: No, I already have binoculars.
Goblin: What would a nice girl like you be wanting in the Nightlands?
Liz Sherman: We are looking for Prince Nuada.
Goblin: Ah, him I know. Trade me something, and I'll take you to him.
Liz Sherman: Here, I have a shiny belt.
Goblin: [his legs are missing] But I have no pants.
Liz Sherman: I have a wonderful pair of magic eyes...
Goblin: No, I already have binoculars.
Johann Krauss: You have one fatal flaw.
Hellboy: Oh, I wanna hear this.
Johann Krauss: No, you don't. You can't take criticism.
Hellboy: Try me.
Johann Krauss: [pokes Hellboy] Can't... take it.
Hellboy: [yells] What's my flaw?
Johann Krauss: Your temper! It gets the best of you. Makes you weak, makes you vulnera...
[Hellboy punches him]
Hellboy: Oh, I wanna hear this.
Johann Krauss: No, you don't. You can't take criticism.
Hellboy: Try me.
Johann Krauss: [pokes Hellboy] Can't... take it.
Hellboy: [yells] What's my flaw?
Johann Krauss: Your temper! It gets the best of you. Makes you weak, makes you vulnera...
[Hellboy punches him]
Princess Nuala: [with the others in the meat-locker] To wage his war, my brother needs this.
[holding the crown piece and cylinder]
Princess Nuala: The final piece of the crown of BethMora and this map to the location of the Golden Army chamber.
Johann Krauss: The Golden Army. The harbingers of death, the unstoppable tide...
Hellboy: [under his breath] Howdy Doody.
Johann Krauss: Your Highness, if you hand the crown piece over to us...
Princess Nuala: No. Where it goes, I go. My father died to uphold the truce with your world. We must honor his noble intentions.
Abe Sapien: The lady is in dire danger.
Johann Krauss: I take is your are vouching for her, Agent Sapien?
Abe Sapien: Most emphatically, yes.
Johann Krauss: Even so... I am sorry, but we simply cannot assume such responsibility on our own.
Hellboy: [getting in Johann's face] Lady just lost her father, what more do you want?
Johann Krauss: You may not care, but there are procedures, rules, and little handbooks that...
Hellboy: She's coming with us. You got that, gasbag?
Johann Krauss: [offended] What-what did you call me?
Prince Nuada: [from behind the group] You! You will pay for what happened to my friend down there.
Hellboy: [turning to face him, sarcastically] Yeah, right. You take checks?
Prince Nuada: [enraged] Demon. Born from a womb of shadows, sent to destroy their world and you still believe you belong?
Hellboy: Are we going to talk all night? Because I'm really sleepy.
[holding the crown piece and cylinder]
Princess Nuala: The final piece of the crown of BethMora and this map to the location of the Golden Army chamber.
Johann Krauss: The Golden Army. The harbingers of death, the unstoppable tide...
Hellboy: [under his breath] Howdy Doody.
Johann Krauss: Your Highness, if you hand the crown piece over to us...
Princess Nuala: No. Where it goes, I go. My father died to uphold the truce with your world. We must honor his noble intentions.
Abe Sapien: The lady is in dire danger.
Johann Krauss: I take is your are vouching for her, Agent Sapien?
Abe Sapien: Most emphatically, yes.
Johann Krauss: Even so... I am sorry, but we simply cannot assume such responsibility on our own.
Hellboy: [getting in Johann's face] Lady just lost her father, what more do you want?
Johann Krauss: You may not care, but there are procedures, rules, and little handbooks that...
Hellboy: She's coming with us. You got that, gasbag?
Johann Krauss: [offended] What-what did you call me?
Prince Nuada: [from behind the group] You! You will pay for what happened to my friend down there.
Hellboy: [turning to face him, sarcastically] Yeah, right. You take checks?
Prince Nuada: [enraged] Demon. Born from a womb of shadows, sent to destroy their world and you still believe you belong?
Hellboy: Are we going to talk all night? Because I'm really sleepy.
Liz Sherman: [over the radio, at the auction house] Abe, what have we got?
Abe Sapien: [reading through his book] Oh, this is interesting. Both boxes have the royal seal. Only delivered in a time of war... Red, we have company.
Hellboy: [getting annoyed] Come on, Blue. Give me something to work with here!
Abe Sapien: Burrowing creatures.
Hellboy: How many of them?
Abe Sapien: Many... there are no corpses because there are no leftovers. Have you noticed the floor?
Hellboy: [walking through the bloody sludge] Aww, crap!
Abe Sapien: Precisely. All these things do is eat and eat, then poop, then eat again.
Liz Sherman: [sarcastic] Remind you of anyone?
Abe Sapien: [reading through his book] Oh, this is interesting. Both boxes have the royal seal. Only delivered in a time of war... Red, we have company.
Hellboy: [getting annoyed] Come on, Blue. Give me something to work with here!
Abe Sapien: Burrowing creatures.
Hellboy: How many of them?
Abe Sapien: Many... there are no corpses because there are no leftovers. Have you noticed the floor?
Hellboy: [walking through the bloody sludge] Aww, crap!
Abe Sapien: Precisely. All these things do is eat and eat, then poop, then eat again.
Liz Sherman: [sarcastic] Remind you of anyone?
