Henny Youngman — American Comedian born on March 16, 1906, died on February 24, 1998

Henry "Henny" Youngman was a British-born American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife...please"... (wikipedia)

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

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