Hocus Pocus Quotes
After three centuries, three witch sisters are resurrected in Salem, Massachusetts on Halloween night, and it is up to two teenagers, a young girl and an immortal cat to put an end to the witches' reign of terror once and for all.
Winifred Sanderson: Twist the bones and bend the back
Sarah, Mary Sanderson: Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca
Winifred Sanderson: Trim him of his baby fat
Sarah, Mary Sanderson: Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca
Winifred Sanderson: Give him fur black as black, just
Mary Sanderson: Like
Sarah: This!
Sarah, Mary Sanderson: Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca
Winifred Sanderson: Trim him of his baby fat
Sarah, Mary Sanderson: Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca
Winifred Sanderson: Give him fur black as black, just
Mary Sanderson: Like
Sarah: This!
Master's Wife: Okay that's it, party's over! Get out of my house!
Master: Now, puddin' face...
Master's Wife: Shove it, Satan!
Sarah: Ooh. Thou mustn't speak to Master in such a manner.
Master: They call me Master.
Master's Wife: Wait 'til you see what I'm gonna call you. Now, tart-face, take your Clark bars and get out of my house!
Winifred Sanderson: Make us!
[the witches gather around her]
Master: Honeybunch...
Master's Wife: Ralph, sic 'em!
[the witches runs out of the house in fear]
Master: Now, puddin' face...
Master's Wife: Shove it, Satan!
Sarah: Ooh. Thou mustn't speak to Master in such a manner.
Master: They call me Master.
Master's Wife: Wait 'til you see what I'm gonna call you. Now, tart-face, take your Clark bars and get out of my house!
Winifred Sanderson: Make us!
[the witches gather around her]
Master: Honeybunch...
Master's Wife: Ralph, sic 'em!
[the witches runs out of the house in fear]
Winifred Sanderson: Well, tell me friend, what is this contraption?
Bus Driver: I call it... a bus.
Winifred Sanderson: A bus. And its purpose?
Bus Driver: To convey gorgeous creatures such as yourselves to your most...
[cracks his knuckle]
Bus Driver: forbidden desires.
Winifred Sanderson: [laughs] Well, fancy! We desire... children.
Bus Driver: Hey, it may take me a couple of tries, but I don't think there's gonna be a problem.
Bus Driver: I call it... a bus.
Winifred Sanderson: A bus. And its purpose?
Bus Driver: To convey gorgeous creatures such as yourselves to your most...
[cracks his knuckle]
Bus Driver: forbidden desires.
Winifred Sanderson: [laughs] Well, fancy! We desire... children.
Bus Driver: Hey, it may take me a couple of tries, but I don't think there's gonna be a problem.
Billy Butcherson: [to Winifred, after finally freeing his mouth] Wench! Trollop! You buck-toothed, mop-riding firefly from hell!
[Winifred yells offensively]
Billy Butcherson: [to Max] I've waited centuries to say that.
Max: [disgusted] Say what you want; just don't breathe on me!
Winifred Sanderson: Billy! I killed you once, I shall kill you again, you maggoty malfeasence! *Hang on to your heads*!
[Winifred yells offensively]
Billy Butcherson: [to Max] I've waited centuries to say that.
Max: [disgusted] Say what you want; just don't breathe on me!
Winifred Sanderson: Billy! I killed you once, I shall kill you again, you maggoty malfeasence! *Hang on to your heads*!
Winifred Sanderson: Therefore, it stands to reason, does it not, sisters dear? That we must find the book, brew the potion and suck the lives out of the children of Salem before sunrise. Otherwise it's curtains. We evaporate! We cease to exist! Dost thou comprehend?
Mary Sanderson: You explained it beautifully, Winnie. They way in which you started out with the adventure part and slowly...
Sarah: Explained what?
Winifred Sanderson: Come, we fly!
Mary Sanderson: You explained it beautifully, Winnie. They way in which you started out with the adventure part and slowly...
Sarah: Explained what?
Winifred Sanderson: Come, we fly!
Max: You've messed with the great and powerful Max! Now you must suffer the consequences! I'm going to summon the burning rain of death!
Winifred Sanderson, Sarah, Mary Sanderson: [murmuring together] The burning rain of death?
Max: [lights lighter]
Winifred Sanderson: Look, he makes fire in his hand.
Max: [raises lighter to sprinkler, and the spreads out his arms wide]
Winifred Sanderson: It's the burning rain of death! Come, you fools!
[pulls them off to the side]
Winifred Sanderson, Sarah, Mary Sanderson: [murmuring together] The burning rain of death?
Max: [lights lighter]
Winifred Sanderson: Look, he makes fire in his hand.
Max: [raises lighter to sprinkler, and the spreads out his arms wide]
Winifred Sanderson: It's the burning rain of death! Come, you fools!
[pulls them off to the side]
Winifred Sanderson: [sings while flying] Book! Come to mommy!
Voice of Thackery Binx: [Jumps on the book to prevent it from floating up to Winifred, with a screech] Afraid not!
Winifred Sanderson: Thackery Binx, thou mangy feline; still alive?
Voice of Thackery Binx: And waiting for you!
Winifred Sanderson: Oh! Thou hast waited in vain. And thou will fail to save thy friends, just as thou failed to save thy sister!
[Screams and swoops down toward the cat]
Voice of Thackery Binx: [Jumps on the book to prevent it from floating up to Winifred, with a screech] Afraid not!
Winifred Sanderson: Thackery Binx, thou mangy feline; still alive?
Voice of Thackery Binx: And waiting for you!
Winifred Sanderson: Oh! Thou hast waited in vain. And thou will fail to save thy friends, just as thou failed to save thy sister!
[Screams and swoops down toward the cat]
Dani: Officer! Officer!
Allison: Officer, we need your help.
Cop: What's the problem?
Dani: [to Max] Tell him.
Allison: Go ahead.
Max: [nervously] Well, um - well, you see - I just moved here. Well, you see? It's like this: I - I broke into the old Sanderson house and I brought the witches back from the dead. See, I even have the book.
Cop: [disapprovingly] You lit the Black-Flamed Candle?
Max: Yeah.
Cop: Come on. Okay, let's get on the sidewalk.
Dani: And he's a virgin.
[the cop stares at them]
Cop: [to Max] Come here.
[Max comes closer to him]
Cop: [whispers] Are you a virgin?
Max: Yeah.
Cop: Really?
Max: Look, I'll get it tattooed on my forehead, okay?
Allison: Officer, we need your help.
Cop: What's the problem?
Dani: [to Max] Tell him.
Allison: Go ahead.
Max: [nervously] Well, um - well, you see - I just moved here. Well, you see? It's like this: I - I broke into the old Sanderson house and I brought the witches back from the dead. See, I even have the book.
Cop: [disapprovingly] You lit the Black-Flamed Candle?
Max: Yeah.
Cop: Come on. Okay, let's get on the sidewalk.
Dani: And he's a virgin.
[the cop stares at them]
Cop: [to Max] Come here.
[Max comes closer to him]
Cop: [whispers] Are you a virgin?
Max: Yeah.
Cop: Really?
Max: Look, I'll get it tattooed on my forehead, okay?
Dani: [as they plan to go to the Snaderson house] Max, I'm not going up there. My friends at school told me all about that place. It's weird!
Max: Dani, this is the girl of my dreams.
Dani: So take her to the movies like a normal person.
Max: Dani! Look just do this one thing for me, and I'll do anything you say. Please? Please? Please?
Dani: Okay, okay. Next year, we go trick-or-treating as Wendy and Peter Pan...
[looks him straight in the eye]
Dani: ... with tights or it's no deal.
Max: [as Dani attempts to leave] Okay, okay, deal, deal.
Max: Dani, this is the girl of my dreams.
Dani: So take her to the movies like a normal person.
Max: Dani! Look just do this one thing for me, and I'll do anything you say. Please? Please? Please?
Dani: Okay, okay. Next year, we go trick-or-treating as Wendy and Peter Pan...
[looks him straight in the eye]
Dani: ... with tights or it's no deal.
Max: [as Dani attempts to leave] Okay, okay, deal, deal.
Allison: Officer, this is not a prank!
Dani: Really!
Cop: HEY! I put my life on the line to protect this community, and you punks pull this? Get outta here.
Allison: [runs off in fear with Max, Dani, and Binx] Come on, Dani.
Cop: And take that cat with you.
[the cop laughs]
Cop's Girlfriend: [comes out wearing a Halloween costume] What's so funny, Eddie?
Cop: Ah, just a bunch of kids pulling my chain. They thought I was a real cop.
[his girlfriend laughs]
Dani: Really!
Cop: HEY! I put my life on the line to protect this community, and you punks pull this? Get outta here.
Allison: [runs off in fear with Max, Dani, and Binx] Come on, Dani.
Cop: And take that cat with you.
[the cop laughs]
Cop's Girlfriend: [comes out wearing a Halloween costume] What's so funny, Eddie?
Cop: Ah, just a bunch of kids pulling my chain. They thought I was a real cop.
[his girlfriend laughs]
Max: [suddenly startled by Dave in a vampire costume] Oh! Dad.
Dave: It's not dad. It's Dadcula.
[see's Allison]
Dave: Oh, my goodness. Who must this charming young blood donor be?
[kisses Allison's hand]
Max: Dad! Something terrible happened.
Dave: [suddenly concerned] Dani? What's wrong? Wh - wh...
Max: No, Dani's fine.
Dave: [sighs] Good.
[to Allison]
Dave: Excuse me. Come here.
[he leads Max away]
Dani: [looks for Jenny, and finds her] Mom?
[Jenny turns around in a Madonna costume]
Dani: Mom?
Jenny: Hmm?
Dani: What are you supposed to be?
Jenny: Madonna. Well, you know - Well, obviously. Don't ya think?
Dave: Shoot, Max. Look, whatever it is, just tell me.
Dani: [to Jenny] Come here.
Jenny: What?
Dani: This cat here, Binx, right? He can talk. My brother's a virgin: he lit the black flame candle. The witches are back from the dead and they're after us. We need help.
Jenny: How much candy have you had, honey?
Dani: Mom, I haven't O.D.'d. I haven't even had a piece. They're real witches, they can fly, and they're gonna eat all the kids in Salem. They're real!
Jenny: All right, let's just find your father.
Dave: It's not dad. It's Dadcula.
[see's Allison]
Dave: Oh, my goodness. Who must this charming young blood donor be?
[kisses Allison's hand]
Max: Dad! Something terrible happened.
Dave: [suddenly concerned] Dani? What's wrong? Wh - wh...
Max: No, Dani's fine.
Dave: [sighs] Good.
[to Allison]
Dave: Excuse me. Come here.
[he leads Max away]
Dani: [looks for Jenny, and finds her] Mom?
[Jenny turns around in a Madonna costume]
Dani: Mom?
Jenny: Hmm?
Dani: What are you supposed to be?
Jenny: Madonna. Well, you know - Well, obviously. Don't ya think?
Dave: Shoot, Max. Look, whatever it is, just tell me.
Dani: [to Jenny] Come here.
Jenny: What?
Dani: This cat here, Binx, right? He can talk. My brother's a virgin: he lit the black flame candle. The witches are back from the dead and they're after us. We need help.
Jenny: How much candy have you had, honey?
Dani: Mom, I haven't O.D.'d. I haven't even had a piece. They're real witches, they can fly, and they're gonna eat all the kids in Salem. They're real!
Jenny: All right, let's just find your father.
Thackery's Father: Winifred Sanderson?
Winifred Sanderson: Yes?
Thackery's Father: I will ask thee one final time.
Winifred Sanderson: Yes?
Thackery's Father: What hast thou done with my son, Thackery?
Winifred Sanderson: Thackery? Hmmm...
Thackery's Father: ANSWER ME!
Winifred Sanderson: Well, I don't know... Cat's got my tongue.
[thunder clash]
Winifred Sanderson: Yes?
Thackery's Father: I will ask thee one final time.
Winifred Sanderson: Yes?
Thackery's Father: What hast thou done with my son, Thackery?
Winifred Sanderson: Thackery? Hmmm...
Thackery's Father: ANSWER ME!
Winifred Sanderson: Well, I don't know... Cat's got my tongue.
[thunder clash]
Jay: Let's have a butt.
Max: No thanks, I don't smoke.
Ernie "Ice": They're very health conscious in Los Angeles.
[Jay and Ice laugh]
Jay: You got any cash? Hollywood?
Max: No.
Ernie "Ice": Gee, we don't get any smokes from you. We don't get any cash. What am I supposed to do with my afternoon?
Max: Maybe you could learn to breathe through your nose.
[Jay laughs but stops as Ice offensively glares at him]
Max: No thanks, I don't smoke.
Ernie "Ice": They're very health conscious in Los Angeles.
[Jay and Ice laugh]
Jay: You got any cash? Hollywood?
Max: No.
Ernie "Ice": Gee, we don't get any smokes from you. We don't get any cash. What am I supposed to do with my afternoon?
Max: Maybe you could learn to breathe through your nose.
[Jay laughs but stops as Ice offensively glares at him]
Jay: [with a tree filled full of numerous rolls of toilet paper in the background] You want to smash some pumpkins?
Ernie "Ice": No.
Jay: Well then, do you want to look in windows and watch babes undress?
Ernie "Ice": It's 3am. They're undressed already.
Jay: [throws another roll of toilet paper] Well then, you think of something!
Ernie "Ice": [grumpy eating candy] Look, I don't feel so hot.
Jay: It's because you're eating too much candy, you oinker!
[hits Ice causing him to drop a piece of candy he was eating]
Ernie "Ice": No.
Jay: Well then, do you want to look in windows and watch babes undress?
Ernie "Ice": It's 3am. They're undressed already.
Jay: [throws another roll of toilet paper] Well then, you think of something!
Ernie "Ice": [grumpy eating candy] Look, I don't feel so hot.
Jay: It's because you're eating too much candy, you oinker!
[hits Ice causing him to drop a piece of candy he was eating]
Thackery Binx: Elijah! Elijah!
[he runs up to Elijah]
Thackery Binx: Hast thou seen my sister Emily?
Elijah: Nay. But look.
[he points to purple smoke in the sky]
Elijah: They conjure.
Thackery Binx: Oh, God. The woods!
[he and Elijah run towards the field and see Sarah leading Emily into the woods]
Thackery Binx: Emily!
Elijah: She's done for.
Thackery Binx: Not yet! You wake my father. Summon the elders. Go!
[Elijah races off whie Thackery heads for the woods]
[he runs up to Elijah]
Thackery Binx: Hast thou seen my sister Emily?
Elijah: Nay. But look.
[he points to purple smoke in the sky]
Elijah: They conjure.
Thackery Binx: Oh, God. The woods!
[he and Elijah run towards the field and see Sarah leading Emily into the woods]
Thackery Binx: Emily!
Elijah: She's done for.
Thackery Binx: Not yet! You wake my father. Summon the elders. Go!
[Elijah races off whie Thackery heads for the woods]
