Hot Shots! Part Deux Quotes
"Rambo" parody in which Topper Harley leads a rescue team into Iraq to save Iraqi war prisoners and all of their previous rescue teams.
Topper Harley: [narrating] Somebody once wrote, "Hell is the impossibility of reason." Well, that's what this place feels like - hell. I hate it already and it's only been a few hours. I'm so tired. We get up at four in the morning...
Capt. Benjamin L. Willard: [narrating] At first I thought they handed me the wrong dossier. I couldn't believe they wanted this man dead. Third Generation West Point, top of his class, Airbourne, Korea, about a thousand decorations, etc, etc...
Topper Harley, Capt. Benjamin L. Willard: [as their boats pass each other] I loved you in Wall Street.
Capt. Benjamin L. Willard: [narrating] At first I thought they handed me the wrong dossier. I couldn't believe they wanted this man dead. Third Generation West Point, top of his class, Airbourne, Korea, about a thousand decorations, etc, etc...
Topper Harley, Capt. Benjamin L. Willard: [as their boats pass each other] I loved you in Wall Street.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Here's the target area.
Gerou: That's Minnesota, sir.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home, and get in some good fishing while we're at it.
Gerou: Sir, the enemy is over there.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Then we'll fly them over here. Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... Do I have to think of everything?
Gerou: That's Minnesota, sir.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home, and get in some good fishing while we're at it.
Gerou: Sir, the enemy is over there.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Then we'll fly them over here. Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... Do I have to think of everything?
Topper Harley: President Benson.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: No you're not. I've seen him on TV. An older man, about my height.
Michelle Huddleson: Mr. President, this is Topper Harley.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Topper Harley, of course, the son I never had. No wonder I didn't recognize you then.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: No you're not. I've seen him on TV. An older man, about my height.
Michelle Huddleson: Mr. President, this is Topper Harley.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Topper Harley, of course, the son I never had. No wonder I didn't recognize you then.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: Topper, I was so young, just a schoolgirl. He was an older man, so wise in the ways of the world. He used to come around the schoolyard, day after day. I so admired his persistence. Even the restraining order my parents slapped on him was no deterrent. He opened my eyes to the arts: music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania. His work has meant so much to so many. And I owe him everything, Topper. Everything.
Topper Harley: I'm happy for you, kid. But if you think you can hurt me again, you're wrong. I left my heart in my other pants.
Topper Harley: I'm happy for you, kid. But if you think you can hurt me again, you're wrong. I left my heart in my other pants.
Michelle Rodham Huddleston: Oh, Ramada, how could you have been so blind? You always too wrapped up in being Miss Perfect College to notice me. Why should you concern yourself with the feelings of one insignificant roommate? One fabulous day, one incredible experience.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: I had no idea it meant so much to you.
[Col. Walters looks extremely fascinated by the women's conversation]
Michelle Rodham Huddleston: I remember that day as if it were yesterday. The exhilaration of experimenting, sharing something so new, so dangerous, so intimate.
Col. Denton Walters: [in a deep voice to Ramada] Go on.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: And I'll never forget the look on your face. The way the sweat glistened on your hard body.
[Col. Walters starts to sweat]
Ramada Rodham Hayman: Then you tied my ankles. Tighter. Tighter.
[Col. Walters, still sweating, motions for more from Ramada]
Ramada Rodham Hayman: But it just wasn't right. It wasn't natural.
[Col. Walters is about to pass out from listening to Ramada]
Ramada Rodham Hayman: Bungee-jumping is just too dangerous a sport.
Col. Denton Walters: [surprised] Bungee-jumping? That's it?
Ramada Rodham Hayman: I had no idea it meant so much to you.
[Col. Walters looks extremely fascinated by the women's conversation]
Michelle Rodham Huddleston: I remember that day as if it were yesterday. The exhilaration of experimenting, sharing something so new, so dangerous, so intimate.
Col. Denton Walters: [in a deep voice to Ramada] Go on.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: And I'll never forget the look on your face. The way the sweat glistened on your hard body.
[Col. Walters starts to sweat]
Ramada Rodham Hayman: Then you tied my ankles. Tighter. Tighter.
[Col. Walters, still sweating, motions for more from Ramada]
Ramada Rodham Hayman: But it just wasn't right. It wasn't natural.
[Col. Walters is about to pass out from listening to Ramada]
Ramada Rodham Hayman: Bungee-jumping is just too dangerous a sport.
Col. Denton Walters: [surprised] Bungee-jumping? That's it?
Ramada Rodham Hayman: I'm married. I was married before you and I ever met. I'm still married today.
Topper Harley: You're joking.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: I'm not.
Topper Harley: You've got to be.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: If I was joking, I would say: "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"
Topper Harley: You are married.
Topper Harley: You're joking.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: I'm not.
Topper Harley: You've got to be.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: If I was joking, I would say: "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"
Topper Harley: You are married.
Col. Denton Walters: It seems there were three bears. And one morning when their porridge was too hot, they went for a walk. And a little blond girl came skipping through the woods... she ate their porridge and she sat in their chairs... she slept in their beds. And when those bears returned and discovered that mess... Do you know what happened then Topper?
Topper Harley: No.
Col. Denton Walters: That little blond girl get scared. Ran away.
Topper Harley: So you're saying is that little blond girl is me. If this is about me coloring my hair...
Topper Harley: No.
Col. Denton Walters: That little blond girl get scared. Ran away.
Topper Harley: So you're saying is that little blond girl is me. If this is about me coloring my hair...
Rabinowitz: Know what I'm gonna do if we make it? I'm gonna go back to Eagle River and marry my gal, Edith Mae. Gonna get us a nice little place with a white picket fence. You know the kind. Two-car garage. Maybe a fishing boat. And in 15 years, when they're all paid for... I'll set my charges and blow the shit out of them.
Topper Harley: We both know you belong with Dexter. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. I'm no good at being noble, but... do you have any idea what would happen if you stay here with me?
Ramada Rodham Hayman: Of course I do. Sex. Wild, free, passionate, unbridled sex. I would fondle you in ways you can't imagine. I would pleasure you at any time, in any place, in any way, for as long as you could possibly desire.
Ramada Rodham Hayman: Of course I do. Sex. Wild, free, passionate, unbridled sex. I would fondle you in ways you can't imagine. I would pleasure you at any time, in any place, in any way, for as long as you could possibly desire.
Saddam Hussein: [President Benson throws Saddam a fireplace cleaning tool which lights up like a lightsaber, and his voice changes and sounds like Darth Vader] I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan, we meet at last. The circle is now complete, now, I am the master.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Only a master of evil, Saddam.
Saddam Hussein: Your powers are...
[Coughs, then takes a puff of primatine mist and his voice is back to normal]
Saddam Hussein: Your pows are weak, old man, you should not have come.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: We'll settle this the old navy way: first guy to die, loses.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Only a master of evil, Saddam.
Saddam Hussein: Your powers are...
[Coughs, then takes a puff of primatine mist and his voice is back to normal]
Saddam Hussein: Your pows are weak, old man, you should not have come.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: We'll settle this the old navy way: first guy to die, loses.
Topper Harley: Harbinger. I was right, wasn't I? You sabotaged all of the other missions. I find that totally unacceptable.
Harbinger: [Sobbing] You got me wrong. All this shooting and killing. I can't go on.
[Begins to cry]
Topper Harley: Hey, hey rainy face. Let the sun come out, you bad G.I. Joe. Here why don't you give uncle Topper a nice, big blow.
Harbinger: [Blows into Topper's handkerchief] I'm done.
Topper Harley: Atta boy.
[the handkerchief is a bag of snot, and drops it, and hands Harbinger gun and shoots a few Iraqis]
Harbinger: Thank you, Topper. I can kill again, you've given me another reason to live.
Topper Harley: Head towards the gate, they'll be plenty of bad guys to shoot along the way.
Harbinger: [Sobbing] You got me wrong. All this shooting and killing. I can't go on.
[Begins to cry]
Topper Harley: Hey, hey rainy face. Let the sun come out, you bad G.I. Joe. Here why don't you give uncle Topper a nice, big blow.
Harbinger: [Blows into Topper's handkerchief] I'm done.
Topper Harley: Atta boy.
[the handkerchief is a bag of snot, and drops it, and hands Harbinger gun and shoots a few Iraqis]
Harbinger: Thank you, Topper. I can kill again, you've given me another reason to live.
Topper Harley: Head towards the gate, they'll be plenty of bad guys to shoot along the way.
Topper Harley: There is also something not right. Harbinger, where were you went the boat showed up?
Harbinger: What are you accusing me of?
Topper Harley: Nothing, yet. But, I want to you know, I smell a rat.
[Then, a rat appears on Topper's back]
Harbinger: Hey, when you were showing off, I was cutting teeth for some of the best commanders.
Topper Harley: Listen, I'm not saying I don't trust you and I'm not saying I do, but I don't.
Harbinger: What are you accusing me of?
Topper Harley: Nothing, yet. But, I want to you know, I smell a rat.
[Then, a rat appears on Topper's back]
Harbinger: Hey, when you were showing off, I was cutting teeth for some of the best commanders.
Topper Harley: Listen, I'm not saying I don't trust you and I'm not saying I do, but I don't.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Gotcha! Listening at the door, huh? Well, Walters, looks like we've got our saboteur.
Col. Denton Walters: That's your wife, sir.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Yeah, so it is. Lavinia. You're looking as lovely as the day we met.
[to Walters]
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Find out what she knows.
Col. Denton Walters: That's your wife, sir.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Yeah, so it is. Lavinia. You're looking as lovely as the day we met.
[to Walters]
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Find out what she knows.
Typewriter: On October 15, the President of the United States ordered a covert mission in the Persian Gulf for the purpose of rescuing soldiers taken hostage during Desert Storm. Only a handful of our highest government officials were aware of the operation, as it included an attempt to assasssan... assisss... kill a guy.
