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Dracula, who operates a high-end resort away from the human world, goes into overprotective mode when a boy discovers the resort and falls for the count's teen-aged daughter.
Jonathan: Are these monsters gonna kill me? Dracula: Not as long as they think you're a monster. Jonathan: That's kinda racist.
Dracula: [against the window of an airplane, sees a Twilight movie playing] This is how we're represented, unbelievable.
Jonathan: I'm Dracula, Bleh, bleh-bleh! Dracula: I've never said that in my life. 'Bleh, bleh-bleh.' I don't know where that comes from!
Gremlin Lady: Excuse me. One of your piranhas in the lake is very rude. He ate my sister-in-law.
Martha: Your zing will come, cherish it my love, love mommy.
Jonathan: [on opposite sides of an airplane window] Drac, I can't understand you! Dracula: What? My hands in a tan shoe?
Jonathan: Uh, can I just ask? What exactly is this place? Dracula: What is this place? It's a place I built, for all those monsters out there lurking in the shadows. Hiding from the persecution of human kind. A for them and their families to come to and be themselves. A void of torches, pitchforks, angry mobs. A place of peace, relaxation, and tranquility. Jonathan: Cool, so it's like a hotel for monsters? Dracula: [irritated] Yes, exactly. A hotel for monsters, way to sum it up.
[Quasimodo kicks a suit of armor in the groin] Suit of Armor: Ow! Why did that hurt me?
Wayne: What? Now there's no sheep in the road. Let's go. Murray: That was pretty sick, man. Wayne: You eat lamb chops, it's the same thing.
Dracula: [Runs after Quasimodo to rescue Jonathan, but is stopped by Mavis] Mavis? Why are you still up? The sun is out. It could kill you, my honey-gut. Mavis: I couldn't sleep. You know where Jonny went? Dracula: I don't know. He - [Turns around & eyes her down angrily] Dracula: Why do you want know? Mavis: Oh! Uh,
Jonathan: Look at me, I'm a Frankenhomie!
Jonathan: Yeah, well, I was afraid your dad was gonna suck all the blood out of my body if I didn't say that. Dracula: I wouldn't have... No, he's right, I would have done that. Mavis: Dad. Dracula: I was wrong, Devil-chops.
Dracula: [holding Jonathan and looking at Mavis] Someone closer to your age, help plan the party. Mavis: [looking at Jonathan] You're my age! Jonathan: Sure, oh, well, how old are you? Mavis: 118. Jonathan: 100 and... [Dracula elbows Jonathan in the stomach] Jonathan: Yeah, I'm 121. Mavis: Really?
[repeated line] Mavis: Holy rabies!
Eunice: English, please! Your voice is REALLY annnoying!
Dracula: [thinks Murray passed gas] You're kidding me. Right in my lobby? Murray: Drac, I swear, man, I don't run like that.
Dracula: Listen to me, you are never to return here. Your are to stay away and tell no humans about this place. Or I will track you down, and suck every ounce of blood from you body, until you look like a deflated whoopee cushion!
Mavis: Is it true, are you a human?
Dracula: [after noticing Mavis kissing Jonny] [rushes in between them and shouts at Jonny] Dracula: How could you? After I shared my pain with you?
Dracula: I know I lied. I was wrong. But you have to believe this: Johnny wasn't a bad guy. The truth is, I don't know if humans are bad anymore. Frank, come on, buddy. You understand. Eunice: He's not talking to you. First you tell us humans are bad, now they're good, what else? Up is down, cold is hot, gremlins don't smell. Gremlin Man: Hey!
Mavis: Uhm... who is that? Dracula: Who was what? Jonathan: [groans] Dracula: Oh that. That is ahh... nobody. Mavis: Seriously dad? Jonathan: Dad? Mavis: Yeah, I know Dracula's daughter. Everyone freaks out at first. Jonathan: Dracula?
Quasimodo: When you bump with the hump, you land on your rump!
Dracula: Hey you don't need a manikin!
Dracula: Welcome To Hotel Transylvania!
Dracula: Evil villain you will never win!
Mavis: Who was that? Dracula: Who was what?
Dracula: Good morning Mavey Wavey.
Wayne: Yeah it's a mess back there.
Dracula: It's ok we all get stomachaches Mr Big Foot.