How to Marry a Millionaire Quotes

Three women set out to find eligible millionaires to marry, but find true love in the process.

[Referring to older men marrying young women]
Schatze Page: Look at Roosevelt, look at Churchill, look at that old fella what's his name in The African Queen.

Schatze Page: I can't shack up with a dame I've never met before and she's crazy too!
Pola Debevoise: You don't have to. She'll come up and you'll see if you like her. If you don't...
Schatze Page: Is she any help to this?
Pola Debevoise: Let's see
[over the phone to Loco]
Pola Debevoise: Hey Loc, how much money you got?
Loco Dempsey: [on the phone] I got a quarter.
Pola Debevoise: Great. Pick up lunch on your way over.
Loco Dempsey: Ok, how many.
Pola Debevoise: Three
Loco Dempsey: Ok, I'll be there in 15 minutes.
[hangs up]
Schatze Page: Well that's a big contribution to a million dollar proposition. One whole quarter!
Pola Debevoise: Maybe, but she's awfully clever with a quarter.

Loco Dempsey: You don't think he's a little old?
Schatze Page: Wealthy men are never old.

Schatze Page: You wanna catch a mouse, you set a mouse trap. All right so we set a bear trap. Now all we gotta do, is one of us has got to catch a bear.
Loco Dempsey: You mean marry him?
Schatze Page: If you don't marry him, you haven't caught him, he's caught you.

Loco Dempsey: I wouldn't mind marrying a Vanderbilt?
Pola Debevoise: Or Mr. Cadillac.
Schatze Page: No such person. I checked.
Loco Dempsey: Is there a Mr. Texaco?

Schatze Page: Most women use more brains picking a horse in the third at Belmont than they do picking a husband.

Pola Debevoise: I want to marry Rockefeller.
Schatze Page: Which one?
Pola Debevoise: I don't care.

Pola Debevoise: Men aren't attentive to girls who wear glasses.

Schatze Page: We'd better put a check on that one. Nobody's mother lives in Atlantic City on Saturday.

Loco Dempsey: I'll say this for him: we haven't ordered anything yet under five dollars a portion!
Pola Debevoise: If there's anything left over don't forget to tell the waiter you want to take it home for the dog.

[repeated line]
Schatze Page: [to Tom Brookman] Just as soon as I finish this, I never want to see you again.

Loco Dempsey: Once you get one foot on the ground, you're really quite a jerk, aren't you?

J.D. Hanley: [on why Schatze stopped their wedding] There was a last minute decision in your favor.
Tom Brookman: Did you tell her about me?
J.D. Hanley: No. So far as she knows you're still hustling a gas pump.
Tom Brookman: Are you kidding?
J.D. Hanley: Well let's go ask her.
Tom Brookman: Wait a minute JD! Do you think I ought to tell her?
J.D. Hanley: Are you nuts? She clearly prefers gas pump jockeys to millionaires. What do you want to do? Disillusion the poor girl?

Schatze Page: I was nuts about him. Know what he did to me. First he gave me a phony name. Second, he was already married. Third, the minute the preacher said amen, he never did another tap of work. Then he stole my TV set and gave it to a car hop. When I asked him about that, he hit me with a chicken.
Pola Debevoise: A live chicken?
Schatze Page: No, a baked chicken; stuffed.

Loco Dempsey: You got radio all the way up here?
Eben: Oh, sure. Radio, houses, everything.

Loco Dempsey: [dreamily] All my life ever since I was a little girl I've always had the same dream. To marry a zillionaire.

Schatze Page: The first rule is, gentlemen callers have got to wear a necktie!

Schatze Page: Next thing you got to remember is the gentlemen you meet on the cold cuts may not be as attractive as the one you meet in the mink department at Bergdorf's.
Loco Dempsey: But he was cute, don't you think?
Schatze Page: Sure he was. But then I never met one of those gas pump jockey that wasn't.
Loco Dempsey: Is that what he is?
Schatze Page: You bet your life he is. I know those guys. I married one once.

Freddie Denmark: I don't look like an old maid? I've never seen anybody in my life that reminded me less of an old maid.

How to Marry a Millionaire Quotes

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