Innerspace Quotes
A hapless store clerk must foil criminals to save the life of the man who, miniaturized in a secret experiment, was accidentally injected into him.
[Jack hears Tuck talking to him in the doctor's office]
Jack Putter: Did you hear that?
Waiting Room Patient: Hear what?
Jack Putter: You didn't hear that then?
Waiting Room Patient: Noooo, I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything. Are you feeling all right?
Jack Putter: Would I *BE* in a *DOCTOR'S OFFICE* if I *WAS* feeling all right?
Jack Putter: Did you hear that?
Waiting Room Patient: Hear what?
Jack Putter: You didn't hear that then?
Waiting Room Patient: Noooo, I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything. Are you feeling all right?
Jack Putter: Would I *BE* in a *DOCTOR'S OFFICE* if I *WAS* feeling all right?
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: [instructing him to get his jacket/car keys out of his locker] See that door?
Jack Putter: Yeah.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: Use it.
[Jack turns away from it]
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: Well what are you waiting for?
Jack Putter: Look, don't rush me, okay? Just... just be quiet for a second, let me think this through.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: Jack, excuse me, but I want you to factor this into your thinking, alright? You heard the man! My air supply's running out! If you don't help me, you're going to wind up with this miniaturized submersible pod floating around your insides with this teeny tiny human skeleton at the helm.
Jack Putter: [very disgusted] ... ugh.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: Not a pretty thought!
Jack Putter: Yeah.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: Use it.
[Jack turns away from it]
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: Well what are you waiting for?
Jack Putter: Look, don't rush me, okay? Just... just be quiet for a second, let me think this through.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: Jack, excuse me, but I want you to factor this into your thinking, alright? You heard the man! My air supply's running out! If you don't help me, you're going to wind up with this miniaturized submersible pod floating around your insides with this teeny tiny human skeleton at the helm.
Jack Putter: [very disgusted] ... ugh.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: Not a pretty thought!
Dr. Greenbush: Nice wedding. You know, Jack, next week, I'd like you to swing by the office. I have some new tests I'd like to run on you...
Wendy: Jack, I think we should try dating. Maybe not exclusively at first, at least for me, but...
Mr. Wormwood: Jack, since you're not going on the cruise, I sure could use you at the store on Monday
Jack Putter: [realization dawns on him] That was the Cowboy.
[runs away]
Lydia's Editor: Who's the Cowboy?
Dr. Niles: It's um... classified.
Jack Putter: [stops and turns around - to Doctor Greenbush] Doc, I'm cured!
Jack Putter: [to Wendy] Wendy, not a chance!
Jack Putter: [to Mr. Wormwood] And Mr. Wormwood, thank you! And I quit.
[runs and jumps into Tuck's car]
Wendy: Jack, I think we should try dating. Maybe not exclusively at first, at least for me, but...
Mr. Wormwood: Jack, since you're not going on the cruise, I sure could use you at the store on Monday
Jack Putter: [realization dawns on him] That was the Cowboy.
[runs away]
Lydia's Editor: Who's the Cowboy?
Dr. Niles: It's um... classified.
Jack Putter: [stops and turns around - to Doctor Greenbush] Doc, I'm cured!
Jack Putter: [to Wendy] Wendy, not a chance!
Jack Putter: [to Mr. Wormwood] And Mr. Wormwood, thank you! And I quit.
[runs and jumps into Tuck's car]
Victor Scrimshaw: Nuclear weapons, Jack. They mean nothing. Everybody's got 'em, nobody has the balls to use 'em. Am I right?
[Jack shrugs, then tries to say something]
Victor Scrimshaw: Space, you say? Space is a flop. Didn't you know that?
[Jack shakes his head]
Victor Scrimshaw: An endless junkyard of orbiting debris. Ah, but! - miniaturization, Jack. That's the ticket. That's the edge everybody's been looking for. Who will have that edge Jack? What country... will control miniaturization?
[takes a puff of his cigar]
Victor Scrimshaw: Frankly, I don't give a shit. I'm only in this for the money. And that's why, Jack, we've got to get that little pod out
[prods Jack's side]
Victor Scrimshaw: from inside of you!
[laughs maniacally around his cigar]
[Jack shrugs, then tries to say something]
Victor Scrimshaw: Space, you say? Space is a flop. Didn't you know that?
[Jack shakes his head]
Victor Scrimshaw: An endless junkyard of orbiting debris. Ah, but! - miniaturization, Jack. That's the ticket. That's the edge everybody's been looking for. Who will have that edge Jack? What country... will control miniaturization?
[takes a puff of his cigar]
Victor Scrimshaw: Frankly, I don't give a shit. I'm only in this for the money. And that's why, Jack, we've got to get that little pod out
[prods Jack's side]
Victor Scrimshaw: from inside of you!
[laughs maniacally around his cigar]
[Margaret prepares to inject a miniaturized Igoe into Jack]
Victor Scrimshaw: Now, wait a minute. What happens once Igoe's taken control of their pod?
Dr. Margaret Canker: Mr. Igoe will pilot the pod out through a tear duct or a sweat gland.
Victor Scrimshaw: Why chance that? Once he's gotten control of the pod and takes the chip, let's re-enlarge.
Dr. Margaret Canker: While it's still inside Mr. Putter?
Victor Scrimshaw: Why not?
Dr. Margaret Canker: Have you any idea what kind of mess that would make?
Victor Scrimshaw: Now, wait a minute. What happens once Igoe's taken control of their pod?
Dr. Margaret Canker: Mr. Igoe will pilot the pod out through a tear duct or a sweat gland.
Victor Scrimshaw: Why chance that? Once he's gotten control of the pod and takes the chip, let's re-enlarge.
Dr. Margaret Canker: While it's still inside Mr. Putter?
Victor Scrimshaw: Why not?
Dr. Margaret Canker: Have you any idea what kind of mess that would make?
Victor Scrimshaw: [trapped in the miniaturizer with Canker] We're in here!
Cop: Who's in there?
Dr. Margaret Canker: The green button!
Scrimshaw's Henchman: Dr. Canker?
Victor Scrimshaw: [to the henchman] Press the green button, you fool!
Dr. Margaret Canker: He'll never find it!
Victor Scrimshaw: The man's a high school graduate! The green button, you fool!
Cop: Who's in there?
Dr. Margaret Canker: The green button!
Scrimshaw's Henchman: Dr. Canker?
Victor Scrimshaw: [to the henchman] Press the green button, you fool!
Dr. Margaret Canker: He'll never find it!
Victor Scrimshaw: The man's a high school graduate! The green button, you fool!
Jack Putter: What exactly are we doing here?
Lydia Maxwell: We're waiting for someone.
Jack Putter: oh, who are we we waiting for?
Lydia Maxwell: The Cowboy. I've been tracking his movements for months and he got to the airport about an hour ago and he always stays here.
[points to the hotel]
Lydia Maxwell: I have a feeling he's gonna lead us right to that chip we need.
Jack Putter: Why do you think that?
[looking at her legs]
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: [noticing Jack is ogling Lydia] Hey, knock it off!
Lydia Maxwell: 'Cause he's a fence. He deals in stolen technology, Western technology almost exclusively, which he then sells overseas to the highest bidder. Who do you think introduced Velcro to the Persian Gulf?
Jack Putter: Really?
Lydia Maxwell: [nodding] Mm hmm.
Lydia Maxwell: We're waiting for someone.
Jack Putter: oh, who are we we waiting for?
Lydia Maxwell: The Cowboy. I've been tracking his movements for months and he got to the airport about an hour ago and he always stays here.
[points to the hotel]
Lydia Maxwell: I have a feeling he's gonna lead us right to that chip we need.
Jack Putter: Why do you think that?
[looking at her legs]
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: [noticing Jack is ogling Lydia] Hey, knock it off!
Lydia Maxwell: 'Cause he's a fence. He deals in stolen technology, Western technology almost exclusively, which he then sells overseas to the highest bidder. Who do you think introduced Velcro to the Persian Gulf?
Jack Putter: Really?
Lydia Maxwell: [nodding] Mm hmm.
