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A witch tasks a childless baker and his wife with procuring magical items from classic fairy tales to reverse the curse put on their family tree.
Cinderella's Prince: I was raised to be charming, not sincere.
Witch: Stay a child while you can be a child.
Cinderella's Prince: Anything can happen in the woods. May I kiss you? [Goes in for a kiss] Baker's Wife: Uh... Cinderella's Prince: Any moment we could be crushed. Don't feel rushed [Kisses the Baker's wife] Baker's Wife: This is ridiculous, what am I doing here? I'm in the wrong story! [the prince tried kissing her again] Baker's Wife: Wait, we can't do this! You have a princess! Cinderella's Prince: Well, yes, I do. Baker's Wife: And I have... a baker.
Baker's Wife: You got the cape? Baker: What have you done with the cow? Baker's Wife: ...She ran away. Baker: What? Baker's Wife: Never reached home. I've been looking for her all night! Baker: How could you! Baker's Wife: Well she might just as easily run away from you. Baker: But she didn't. Baker's Wife: But she might've done! Baker: But she didn't! Baker's Wife: BUT SHE MIGHT'VE DONE! Baker: BUT SHE DIDN'T! Witch: [magically appearing] WHO CARES! Cow's gone! Get it back! Get it back!
Little Red Riding Hood: Isn't it nice to know a lot... and a little bit not...
Witch: [singing] You're not good, you're not bad, you're just nice. I'm not good, I'm not nice, I'm just right. I'm the witch. You're the world.
Cinderella's Prince: I shall always love the maiden that ran away. Cinderella: And I the faraway Prince.
Witch: [singing] Careful the wish you make, wishes are children. Careful the path they take, wishes come true, not free. Careful the spell you cast, not just on children. Sometimes the spell may last past what you can see, and turn against you. Careful the tale you tell, that is the spell. Children will listen...
Little Red Riding Hood: [singing] Do not put your faith in a cape and a hood, they will not protect you the way that they should. And take extra care with strangers, even flowers have their dangers, and though scary is exciting, nice is different than good.
Baker's Wife: Just remembering you had an 'and,' when you're back to 'or,' makes the 'or' mean more than is did before.
Jack: Magic what type of magic? Baker's Wife: Tell him. Baker: Magic that, uh, defy's description.
Baker's Wife: [singing] Oh, if life were made of moments, even now and then a bad one - But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one.
Witch: [singing] It's the last midnight, it's the last wish, it's the last midnight soon it will be boom squish.
Baker's Wife: I wish, more than anything...
Jack: [singing] And you scramble down, and you look below at the world you left, and the things you know. The roof, the house, and your mother at the door.The roof, the house, and the world you'd never thought to explore. And you think of all of the things you'd seen. And you wish that you could live in-between. And you're back again, only different than before.
Baker: As the Prince anxiously waited, the stepmother took matters, and Florinda's foot, into her own hands. Florinda: Careful, my toe! Stepmother: Darling, I know! Florinda: What will we do? Stepmother: It'll have to go/but when you're his bride/you can sit or ride/you'll never need to walk! [cuts off Florinda's toe and Florinda screams in pain] Baker: Minus one toe, Florinda mounted the Prince's horse, unaware of the blood dripping from the slipper. Lucinda was next... Lucinda: Why won't it fit? Stepmother: Darling, be still/cut off a bit of the heel and it will/and when you're his wife/you'll have such a life/you'll never need to walk! [cuts of Lucinda's heel and Lucinda screams in pain] Baker: Minus a heel, Lucinda did her best to swallow the pain. Stepmother: It's a perfect fit your highness! [Lucinda faints]
Baker's Wife: You've changed. You're daring. You're different in the woods.
Cinderella: [to her prince] My father's house was a nightmare; your house was a dream. Now I want something in between.
[singing monotone] Little Red Riding Hood: Oh dear, how uneasy I feel.