A New Yorker suddenly learns he has a thirteen-year-old son who's been raised in the jungle. He brings the boy to New York city, and that's where the fun starts.

Mimi-Siku: [after being out on the windows with Michael] Baboon scared?
Michael Cromwell: Yes, Baboon scared. Baboon not know he could *be* so scared. Baboon's pants a little damp.
[Richard, Michael and Mimi exit Jovanovic's office]
Michael Cromwell: Richard, are you out of your mind? Now we're laundering money for the Russian mafia?
Richard Kempster: Yes, we are, and we'll iron it for them too.
Richard Kempster: [yelling at the airport] Oh, God! I'm dead! I've lost my house! Where will my children live?
Mimi-Siku: I want to see Statue of Liberty, I go!
Alexei Jovanovic: [picking a finger to cut off of Richard Kempster] Eeny... Meeny...
[arrives at middle finger]
Alexei Jovanovic: Meiny - no, need that one for traffic... mo.
Andrew Kempster: I'll get some matches and we'll smoke her out.
Michael Cromwell: [showing Mimi how to use the toilet] Before you pee, you lift the seat; after you pee, you put the seat back down. Females in tribe start war over this. Many deaths.
Alexei Jovanovic: You make a fool of Jovanovic.
Richard Kempster: No.
Alexei Jovanovic: In front of my comrades and my community. You waste my time, you try to cheat me!
[Jovanovic takes out a knife]
Alexei Jovanovic: Now, you must pay! Sit still, coward! Now, I teach you never,
[grabs Richard's right arm]
Alexei Jovanovic: NEVER to make fool of Jovanovic again!
[Michael and Richard are aguing about being a parent, while Richard tries to get Karen out of her room]
Richard Kempster: Oh, what? Are you suddenly Dr Spock here? You've been a father for three days. And you're giving me lessons? Well, that's good.
Michael Cromwell: You sound like an idiot.
Richard Kempster: I'm a parent! Therefore, I'm an idiot! I have spent every day for the last 12 years worrying about my kids. About their safety, about their happiness, about their crooked teeth.
[after Michael and Mimi depart from a taxi cab]
Michael Cromwell: We're meeting this guy at a fish stall?
Richard Kempster: No, no. He is ABOVE a fish stall.
Michael Cromwell: Much better!
Mimi-Siku: [Initiates Karen into his tribe] Choose a name.
Karen Kempster: Choose for me.
Mimi-Siku: [thinks for a moment] Ukume.
Karen Kempster: What?
Mimi-Siku: U-Ku-May.
Karen Kempster: What does it mean?
Mimi-Siku: It means, "sound of rain on river water."
Karen Kempster: "Ukume." It's pretty.
[kisses him]
Andrew Kempster: What kind of dumb name is Mimi Siku?
Jan Kempster: Don't be rude. He probably thinks Andrew is a dumb name.
Andrew Kempster: So do I.
Karen Kempster: I think Mimi Siku is a nice name.
Andrew Kempster: You would.
Dr. Patricia Cromwell: His name's Mimi-Siku. Roughly translated, it means "cat piss".
Michael Cromwell: He *chose* the name "cat piss"?
Dr. Patricia Cromwell: He was six years old at the time! It's a territorial thing.
Michael Cromwell: I should probably take some pictures of Mimi.
Richard Kempster: I can never have enough pictures of my kids. I have like, four hundred albums. I never look at them, but they exist... it's good, you know?
Michael Cromwell: Do you mean to tell me that you are walking around New York City with A MILLION DOLLARS IN A SUITCASE?
Mimi-Siku: [after Mimi-Siku suggests they eat Coco the cat] Cat's job feed people.
Michael Cromwell: No, not here. Here, cat's job is to sleep, lick crotch.
Mimi-Siku: [pointing to toucan in flight] A hoko!
Michael Cromwell: Hoko. Hoko, bird. Bird that can't sing: Hoko Ono.
Michael Cromwell: [offered bat bladder in Lipo Lipo] Bat bladder? Holy kaopectate; I don't think so.
Stewardess: Mr. Cromwell? The young man you're with is, ah, urinating on the exit doors...
Richard Kempster: That's it, Andrew, bite him! Use those crooked teeth!
Alexei Jovanovic: I have many enemies, but none like that spider.
Mimi-Siku: In Lipo Lipo, we eat with hands.
Michael Cromwell: In New York, New York, we eat with forks.
Michael Cromwell: [sees Lipo Lipo for the first time]
Michael Cromwell: Oh my God. She left me for Gilligan's Island.
Michael Cromwell: [throws piraƱa] Cut. Infection. DEAD!
Michael Cromwell: What do you call this place again? The Surface of the Sun!
Mimi-Siku: [seeing Karen for the first time] Angel on table...
Andrew Kempster: [to his Mom, who's eating Mimi's homemade fish] Mom, Tarzan is eating Daddy's fish.
Jan Kempster: Daddy's fish?
Richard Kempster: Come out, honey, or Andrew is going to smoke you out.
Andrew Kempster: Cool!
Richard Kempster: [whispering] I was kidding!

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