Land of the Lost Quotes
On his latest expedition, Dr. Rick Marshall is sucked into a space-time vortex alongside his research assistant and a redneck survivalist. In this alternate universe, the trio make friends with a primate named Chaka, their only ally in a world full of dinosaurs and other fantastic creatures.
Dr. Rick Marshall: This is for you. I signed it.
[hands his book to Matt Lauer]
Dr. Rick Marshall: You're supposed to say the title and the publisher.
Matt Lauer: That's not gonna happen.
Dr. Rick Marshall: Just say it.
Matt Lauer: No.
Dr. Rick Marshall: Just say the damn title.
Matt Lauer: Fine.
[shows book to TV audience]
Matt Lauer: 'Matt Lauer Can Suck It' by Dr. Rick Marshall.
Dr. Rick Marshall: I was so surprised that your attorney signed off on that. I was like, "Are you sure? Is this gonna be okay?" He said, "Yeah, go for it."
Matt Lauer: Son of a bitch.
[hands his book to Matt Lauer]
Dr. Rick Marshall: You're supposed to say the title and the publisher.
Matt Lauer: That's not gonna happen.
Dr. Rick Marshall: Just say it.
Matt Lauer: No.
Dr. Rick Marshall: Just say the damn title.
Matt Lauer: Fine.
[shows book to TV audience]
Matt Lauer: 'Matt Lauer Can Suck It' by Dr. Rick Marshall.
Dr. Rick Marshall: I was so surprised that your attorney signed off on that. I was like, "Are you sure? Is this gonna be okay?" He said, "Yeah, go for it."
Matt Lauer: Son of a bitch.
[Inside Dr. Marshall's office, there is knocking at the door]
Dr. Rick Marshall: [groans]
Holly Cantrell: Dr. Marshall?
[Opens the door and sees Marshall lying on the floor surrounded by wrappers of junk food]
Holly Cantrell: Oh God! Are you alright?
[Helps him up from the ground and lays him against a cabinet]
Holly Cantrell: Hey, up you get. Here, just lean against...
[Struggling the keep him up, he spits out a piece of food from his mouth]
Holly Cantrell: Oh dear.
Dr. Rick Marshall: I'm fine. I'm okay, I just... worked late. Then, I got hungry and I... had several meals and lapsed into a food coma. I've had issues with food in the past. I don't know, you know, just with the stress with everything I just over did it... but I'm in control. Now, I don't have to go back to Phoenix.
Holly Cantrell: I just wanted, I wanted to um, come apologize for yesterday Michael. My behavior was just...
[she stares in shock as finds Marshall's completely built Tachyon Amplifier]
Dr. Rick Marshall: No, no, no.
Holly Cantrell: You've finished the Tachyon Amplifier!
Dr. Rick Marshall: No, no, I mean yes. I, I don't know, I finished building it, yes, but... I didn't have the nerve to test it out. So, I thought a trip to Arby's might give me some courage, but no dice.
[Sticks an old fry in his mouth]
Dr. Rick Marshall: Then, I hit Popeye's, Del Taco. 14,000 calories later, I found myself down at Subway... powering through a 12 inch veggie on whole wheat babbling to a cut-out of Jared. Still didn't give me the strength to turn that thing on. I'm a coward.
Holly Cantrell: You are not a coward, you're a visionary. This is probably the greatest work of genius in the last hundred years.
[Turns on the amplifier to the music of A Chorus Line singing I Hope I Get It; Turns it off]
Holly Cantrell: Is that A Chorus Line?
Dr. Rick Marshall: It, it's left over data from the drive. What a piece of crap!
[Slams foot against desk shaking the amplifier on for a second]
Dr. Rick Marshall: The machine, I mean, not A Chorus Line. I love showtunes, they really tell the story of the human condition.
Holly Cantrell: It's a bit gay.
Dr. Rick Marshall: It IS great.
Dr. Rick Marshall: [groans]
Holly Cantrell: Dr. Marshall?
[Opens the door and sees Marshall lying on the floor surrounded by wrappers of junk food]
Holly Cantrell: Oh God! Are you alright?
[Helps him up from the ground and lays him against a cabinet]
Holly Cantrell: Hey, up you get. Here, just lean against...
[Struggling the keep him up, he spits out a piece of food from his mouth]
Holly Cantrell: Oh dear.
Dr. Rick Marshall: I'm fine. I'm okay, I just... worked late. Then, I got hungry and I... had several meals and lapsed into a food coma. I've had issues with food in the past. I don't know, you know, just with the stress with everything I just over did it... but I'm in control. Now, I don't have to go back to Phoenix.
Holly Cantrell: I just wanted, I wanted to um, come apologize for yesterday Michael. My behavior was just...
[she stares in shock as finds Marshall's completely built Tachyon Amplifier]
Dr. Rick Marshall: No, no, no.
Holly Cantrell: You've finished the Tachyon Amplifier!
Dr. Rick Marshall: No, no, I mean yes. I, I don't know, I finished building it, yes, but... I didn't have the nerve to test it out. So, I thought a trip to Arby's might give me some courage, but no dice.
[Sticks an old fry in his mouth]
Dr. Rick Marshall: Then, I hit Popeye's, Del Taco. 14,000 calories later, I found myself down at Subway... powering through a 12 inch veggie on whole wheat babbling to a cut-out of Jared. Still didn't give me the strength to turn that thing on. I'm a coward.
Holly Cantrell: You are not a coward, you're a visionary. This is probably the greatest work of genius in the last hundred years.
[Turns on the amplifier to the music of A Chorus Line singing I Hope I Get It; Turns it off]
Holly Cantrell: Is that A Chorus Line?
Dr. Rick Marshall: It, it's left over data from the drive. What a piece of crap!
[Slams foot against desk shaking the amplifier on for a second]
Dr. Rick Marshall: The machine, I mean, not A Chorus Line. I love showtunes, they really tell the story of the human condition.
Holly Cantrell: It's a bit gay.
Dr. Rick Marshall: It IS great.
Dr. Rick Marshall: Field rations are running dangerously low. Thusly, I've made the determination that, if need be, if faced with starvation, we will cook and eat Chaka. I've been thinking about this a lot, actually. If Chaka meat were the secret ingredient on Iron Chef, I'm sure Bobby Flay would probably serve it with roasted red peppers and a dash of cumin and a braised polenta. It wouldn't be an easy thing to do, but if you slow roast the little guy, I'm sure that Chaka meat would just fall right off the bone.
[Will and Holly can smell dinosaur dung on Rick]
Dr. Rick Marshall: Would you grow up?
Holly Cantrell: Oh, my God!
Dr. Rick Marshall: Yes, he pooped me out!
Will Stanton: And now you guys are friends?
Dr. Rick Marshall: While I was snaking my way through his bowels, I don't know, I... I must have dislodged some sort of intestinal blockage. And, yes, he's in a much better mood now. So can we move on? I would really like to go home.
Will Stanton: You were deuced out by a dinosaur. That is incredibly cool.
Dr. Rick Marshall: Would you grow up?
Holly Cantrell: Oh, my God!
Dr. Rick Marshall: Yes, he pooped me out!
Will Stanton: And now you guys are friends?
Dr. Rick Marshall: While I was snaking my way through his bowels, I don't know, I... I must have dislodged some sort of intestinal blockage. And, yes, he's in a much better mood now. So can we move on? I would really like to go home.
Will Stanton: You were deuced out by a dinosaur. That is incredibly cool.
