I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
I will make up a crush, you hear me?! I will look at a guy and say, for two months at least, 'I think you're cute.' And then I can be psycho. I will go in my head and make a whole life with him, he don't even understand why I'm mad at him. I'm like... 'cause you came in late last night!' And he's like, 'I don't even know you.'
A clear cold morning with high wind: we caught in a trap a large gray wolf, and last night obtained in the same way a fox who had for some time infested the neighbourhood of the fort.
I first played the Royal Albert Hall when I was 14. I was a violinist with the Birmingham Schools Concert Orchestra, and we travelled down from the Midlands for the last night of the School Proms. We played some pieces from the Harry Potter films, and the violin parts were really hard.
For everything I do, I think about a 6-year-old girl and her mom that I saw at my concert last night. I think about what those two individuals would think if I were at a club last night. I never want to be arrested, and I never want to get a DUI, those are my moral values.
There's a very real possibility in this industry of going out and leading your life and then going home and being a voyeur of your own life. You can literally go watch yourself - where you went last night, what you did, what the things that people presuppose about you. It's kind of crazy.
I've done a great job at being universal in my stand-up, which is why, for 'Let Me Explain,' I toured all over the world. These movies I have coming out - 'Ride Along,' 'Grudge Match,' 'About Last Night,' 'Think Like a Man Too' - are putting me in a position to become universal on an even bigger scale.
Like I went out to a predominantly black club last night and nobody said anything and I was wishing somebody would so that someone would dance with me.
I saw 'Food, Inc.' last night - it was like a horror movie. I'm definitely thinking about my food supply now and how I want to grow my own.
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.