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Amidst a sea of litigation, two New York City divorce lawyers find love.
Daniel: If you can reach out and touch the horizon, you're at your journeys end. Audrey: James Joyce? Daniel: My Uncle Clive, but, equally profound, don't you think?
Audrey: Oh, boy, don't you try to analyze me with your whole, disheveled Bohemian my socks don't match so therefore I have insight into all things wacko mindset. There are no psychoanalytical shortcuts into my pants.
[arguing in court after having spent the night together] Daniel: Are you suggesting that because the number is so large, your client is entitled to more than what was agreed upon in the pre-nup? Because that was not your position last night, assuming you remember last night's... position.
Audrey: [after giving Daniel a new tie] I thought you'd enjoy owning one without a stain. Daniel: That's an interesting presumption.
Daniel: Can I say something? Audrey: No, you can't!
Audrey: Are you crazy? Sara: Yes, but I'm also your mother.
[after discovering that Daniel wrote a book] Audrey: Book? Book? What book? When does he have time to write books?
Sara: You are so adorable when you're going for the kill.
Sara: Forgive me if I get a little emotional, but this is the day every mother dreams of. The day she watches her only daughter put a lock on her bedroom door, to keep her husband out.
Daniel: So... Romantic, no? Audrey: No.
Audrey: Each case I handle convinces me further that marraige is dead in the water.
Audrey: Are you taking your clothes off? Daniel: Only the bottoms.
[Audrey and Daniel are overlooking the beautiful countryside. In the background their car rolls past them and they hear it crash] Audrey: Well that spoiled it for me.
Daniel: Do you mind if I use the kitchen? Sara: He cooks? You didn't tell me he cooks.
Audrey: We're just going to have to file when we get back to New York, okay. It'll be like it never happened. Daniel: But it did happen.
Daniel: I told you darling, we don't need separate bedrooms. I don't mind you snoring.
[talking to her mom on the phone and eating candy corn] Sara: What are you eating? Audrey: Vegetables.
Sara: Is this Rafferty guy cute? Audrey: I didn't notice. Besides he's not your type. He's old enough to drive.
Daniel: I don't believe in divorce. Audrey: But you're a divorce lawyer! Daniel: It's a job.
Daniel: But I do care about you. And so I will give you a divorce, gladly. Because call me old fashion, but when you love someone, I believe you should be unselfish enough to give them whatever they want. I'll be around later to pick up my things.
Thorne Jamison: [seeing Audrey in the crowd while fans surround him for an autograph] See this Barry, I've got classy fans, too. And a what might you want? Audrey: I want you. Thorne Jamison: Oohh! Chihuaha! Nice opening line, I like it. Direct, no B.S, just how I like it. Grr. Ok, tell me what we're working with Dollface. Audrey: Ok, this is what we're working with *Dollface*. You've got a devoted, hardworking wife at home, yet you cheat, lie, and blow all your money on strippers and whores. You finally abandon her leaving her no option but to file for divorce. That's the opposing council's opening line. Direct. No B.S. Just the way you like it. And your wife has just hired the second best divorce attorney in New York City to deliver it. Now you need someone to tell you side of the story, no matter how *sordid*, and make you seem like strawberry shortcake. Thorne Jamison: I like strawberry shortcake, and I like your style. Do you know what I think? I think we should continue this conversation back at my place Audrey: You know what I think? I think you should leave the thinking to me. Thorne Jamison: Right.
Daniel: Are you dating anyone?
[wakes in bed with Daniel, wearing a ring on her finger - gets out of bed] Audrey: Oh, okay, okay, wake up, wake up. Daniel: Morning. Audrey: Wake up. Would you please look at your left hand, please? Daniel: What? Audrey: Please! [sees the ring on his hand] Daniel: Oh, would you look at that. Oh, you got one, too. Audrey: Daniel, did we get married last night? Daniel: Yes, I have a feeling we did. The details are still a little bit fuzzy but the bride was beautiful in her figure-hugging Sarena outfit and... you're not happy. Audrey: Do I look happy? Daniel: It's hard to say. I mean, because you never seem to be happy around me and... Audrey: Oh, it's all coming back. We gotta find the guy who did this and tell him that we didn't mean it. Daniel: But I did mean it. Audrey: Of course you didn't, how could you? You don't want to be married to me!
Daniel: Are you really 56? Sara: Parts of me are.
Audrey: A sincere apology is just a manipulation tactic like forgiveness or generosity.
Audrey: Oh look, medical waste in a glass. No umbrella?
Sara: Would you like a cocktail? Daniel: Oh, yes, please, only if it's an extremely large one.
Sara: Do you want him dead? Audrey: Mother. Sara: I mean socially.