Leatherheads Quotes
In 1925, an enterprising pro football player convinces America's too-good-to-be-true college football hero to play for his team and keep the league from going under.
C.C. Frazier: You've created quite a stir, Lexie.
Lexie Littleton: I'm just getting started.
C.C. Frazier: You know, there are many qualities I admire about you, not the least of which is intelligence. If you print that story, I will have your job.
Lexie Littleton: You wouldn't be good at it.
C.C. Frazier: You're quick, too.
Lexie Littleton: And I've got great legs.
C.C. Frazier: First thing I noticed.
Lexie Littleton: The story runs tomorrow.
C.C. Frazier: [Nods] See you tomorrow, Lexie.
Lexie Littleton: I'm just getting started.
C.C. Frazier: You know, there are many qualities I admire about you, not the least of which is intelligence. If you print that story, I will have your job.
Lexie Littleton: You wouldn't be good at it.
C.C. Frazier: You're quick, too.
Lexie Littleton: And I've got great legs.
C.C. Frazier: First thing I noticed.
Lexie Littleton: The story runs tomorrow.
C.C. Frazier: [Nods] See you tomorrow, Lexie.
Joe: Hey, Lexie! Someone's here to see you.
Lexie Littleton: Who?
Joe: Dodge Connelly.
Lexie Littleton: [Her eyes widen and she whispers] Tell him I'm not here!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: [From outside the office] I heard that!
Lexie Littleton: Goddammit!
[She goes out the door, to Dodge]
Lexie Littleton: You know, you have a real knack for showing up at the perfect time!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Some people call it a skill.
Lexie Littleton: Who?
Joe: Dodge Connelly.
Lexie Littleton: [Her eyes widen and she whispers] Tell him I'm not here!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: [From outside the office] I heard that!
Lexie Littleton: Goddammit!
[She goes out the door, to Dodge]
Lexie Littleton: You know, you have a real knack for showing up at the perfect time!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Some people call it a skill.
Lexie Littleton: You're just acting like a big baby 'cause you miss your mother's bosoms.
Leonard: My mother's what?
Lexie Littleton: Her bosoms, you goof! You're substituting *my* bosoms for your mother's.
Leonard: What? No, I'm not!
Lexie Littleton: Why not? What's wrong with my bosoms?
Leonard: Honestly, Miss Littleton, we're in public. The rules of etiquette apply.
Lexie Littleton: Oh, Leonard, it's 1925. There are no rules. Except that boys like you are tedious until they're forty, at which point they become *unbearably* tedious.
Leonard: I didn't come over her to be insulted.
Lexie Littleton: No? Where do you usually go?
Leonard: My mother's what?
Lexie Littleton: Her bosoms, you goof! You're substituting *my* bosoms for your mother's.
Leonard: What? No, I'm not!
Lexie Littleton: Why not? What's wrong with my bosoms?
Leonard: Honestly, Miss Littleton, we're in public. The rules of etiquette apply.
Lexie Littleton: Oh, Leonard, it's 1925. There are no rules. Except that boys like you are tedious until they're forty, at which point they become *unbearably* tedious.
Leonard: I didn't come over her to be insulted.
Lexie Littleton: No? Where do you usually go?
Police Officer: [Chasing Dodge and Lexie up a staircase] Stop, or I'll shoot!
Lexie Littleton: [Gasps] He said he'll shoot!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: They always say that!
Lexie Littleton: [Dodge and Lexie run up some more stairs. The officer suddenly fires a shot. Lexie screams] You said he always says that!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: He does. Just before he shoots!
Lexie Littleton: [Gasps] He said he'll shoot!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: They always say that!
Lexie Littleton: [Dodge and Lexie run up some more stairs. The officer suddenly fires a shot. Lexie screams] You said he always says that!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: He does. Just before he shoots!
Carter Rutherford: Wait. Where were you two?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Out.
Lexie Littleton: Nowhere.
Carter Rutherford: Did you *kiss* her?
Lexie Littleton: Now wait a minute.
Carter Rutherford: I want answers!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Yeah, I kissed her! On the mouth, twice! And I liked it. A lot!
Carter Rutherford: Oh you did, did you?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Yeah!
Lexie Littleton: Thanks.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: You're welcome.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Out.
Lexie Littleton: Nowhere.
Carter Rutherford: Did you *kiss* her?
Lexie Littleton: Now wait a minute.
Carter Rutherford: I want answers!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Yeah, I kissed her! On the mouth, twice! And I liked it. A lot!
Carter Rutherford: Oh you did, did you?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Yeah!
Lexie Littleton: Thanks.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: You're welcome.
Lexie Littleton: [as Dodge is hiding behind a magazine] And don't think just 'cause you haven't said anything that I don't know what you're up to. I'm talking to you, behind the magazine. Don't you know I could have you arrested for eavesdropping?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Excuse me?
Lexie Littleton: Or are you really an avid reader of "Ladies Home Journal?"
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I never miss an issue.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Excuse me?
Lexie Littleton: Or are you really an avid reader of "Ladies Home Journal?"
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I never miss an issue.
Carter Rutherford: [Wants to fight Dodge over Lexie] Okay, we can do this right here, or we can go outside.
Lexie Littleton: Get him, Dodge!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: We got a game in five days.
Lexie Littleton: What?
Carter Rutherford: What, you think you're gonna hurt me?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I might.
Lexie Littleton: Did you hear what he just called me?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: He's a little drunk.
Carter Rutherford: [Scoffs] I'm not drunk, you coward!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Really? Cause your sleeve's on fire.
Lexie Littleton: Get him, Dodge!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: We got a game in five days.
Lexie Littleton: What?
Carter Rutherford: What, you think you're gonna hurt me?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I might.
Lexie Littleton: Did you hear what he just called me?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: He's a little drunk.
Carter Rutherford: [Scoffs] I'm not drunk, you coward!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Really? Cause your sleeve's on fire.
Lexie Littleton: [about Belinda] Enchanting girl. I thought you had to be twenty-one to get into a place like this.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: She *is* twenty-one.
Lexie Littleton: I meant her I.Q.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I wasn't planning on running her for Congress.
Lexie Littleton: No? What *were* you planning on doing with her?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: You know, the usual.
Lexie Littleton: Put her in shoulder pads and a helmet and knock her brains out?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I think somebody beat me to it.
Lexie Littleton: She'll do well in Congress.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Well you're only as young as the women you feel.
Lexie Littleton: How quiet it must be at the Algonquin with you here in Duluth.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: She *is* twenty-one.
Lexie Littleton: I meant her I.Q.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I wasn't planning on running her for Congress.
Lexie Littleton: No? What *were* you planning on doing with her?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: You know, the usual.
Lexie Littleton: Put her in shoulder pads and a helmet and knock her brains out?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I think somebody beat me to it.
Lexie Littleton: She'll do well in Congress.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Well you're only as young as the women you feel.
Lexie Littleton: How quiet it must be at the Algonquin with you here in Duluth.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: You're the kind of cocktail that comes on like sugar but gives you a kick in the head. The only thing you hate worse than a guy making a play is when a guy *doesn't* make a play.
Lexie Littleton: Oh, were you making a play? I hadn't realized. It might work on my Aunt Lurleen. She's a little near-sighted.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: [about his "Ladies Home Journal"] You know, there's an article on peach canning in here that I'm dying to get back to.
Lexie Littleton: Well I know you, too, Dodge Connelly. You think you're the slickest operator in Duluth, and maybe you are, but being the slickest operator in Duluth is kinda like being the world's tallest midget, if you ask me.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: It's too bad we know each other so well. We might have gotten along.
Lexie Littleton: Well, I'll live.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Alone!
Lexie Littleton: Oh, were you making a play? I hadn't realized. It might work on my Aunt Lurleen. She's a little near-sighted.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: [about his "Ladies Home Journal"] You know, there's an article on peach canning in here that I'm dying to get back to.
Lexie Littleton: Well I know you, too, Dodge Connelly. You think you're the slickest operator in Duluth, and maybe you are, but being the slickest operator in Duluth is kinda like being the world's tallest midget, if you ask me.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: It's too bad we know each other so well. We might have gotten along.
Lexie Littleton: Well, I'll live.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Alone!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: [as they prepare to fight] I just want to say, stay away from my right knee.
Carter Rutherford: Watch my left shoulder.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I will. Also, my right hindquarter. Behind my right thigh, but really, the *whole* hindquarter.
Carter Rutherford: Well, you wouldn't punch me in the back, would you? Because I got a bad back.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: No, never. Let's just go for the face.
Carter Rutherford: Me too, just hit me in the face.
Carter Rutherford: Watch my left shoulder.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I will. Also, my right hindquarter. Behind my right thigh, but really, the *whole* hindquarter.
Carter Rutherford: Well, you wouldn't punch me in the back, would you? Because I got a bad back.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: No, never. Let's just go for the face.
Carter Rutherford: Me too, just hit me in the face.
Carter Rutherford: CC tells me you're printing that story.
Lexie Littleton: I haven't decided.
Carter Rutherford: You're not a reporter. You're a *liar*.
Lexie Littleton: Slow down there, Kaiser.
Carter Rutherford: If you just wanted a story, then why didn't the Trib send one of their hacks with a cigar stuffed in their snout. But, no, they sent you to snuggle up and play nice.
Lexie Littleton: I never was much for cigars, but if it'd make you feel better...
Carter Rutherford: Maybe I should just leave twenty bucks on the bed stand!
Lexie Littleton: I haven't decided.
Carter Rutherford: You're not a reporter. You're a *liar*.
Lexie Littleton: Slow down there, Kaiser.
Carter Rutherford: If you just wanted a story, then why didn't the Trib send one of their hacks with a cigar stuffed in their snout. But, no, they sent you to snuggle up and play nice.
Lexie Littleton: I never was much for cigars, but if it'd make you feel better...
Carter Rutherford: Maybe I should just leave twenty bucks on the bed stand!
Lexie Littleton: [Dodge smirking down at Lexie while laying in the top bunk in her room] What?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I think I will sleep up here tonight.
Lexie Littleton: Oh, you most certainly will not!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Really?
[Mimes talking on a phone]
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: "Believe me, Harvey. By the end of the week, that kid will cook his own goose."
Lexie Littleton: [Her eyes widen] You were spying?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I was observing.
Lexie Littleton: So you want to play dirty, huh?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Maybe later, I'm a little tired right now.
[Lexie gapes at him, brief pause]
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: So, here we are.
Lexie Littleton: I'm not sure what the next move is.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: It happens.
Lexie Littleton: It's my first time.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: They all say that.
Lexie Littleton: [pauses then huffs and takes off her shoes] I'm sure you snore!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Atta girl!
[Lexie goes into the bottom bunk, Dodge settles into his. Lexie pulls close the curtain on her bunk]
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Sorry if what I said to you today upset you.
Lexie Littleton: Don't be.
[She opens her curtain]
Lexie Littleton: Which part?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: The kick in the head part.
Lexie Littleton: It's forgotten.
[Her and Dodge close their curtains]
Lexie Littleton: Sorry if what I said today upset you.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Don't be.
[Opens his curtain]
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Which part?
Lexie Littleton: The world's tallest midget part.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: What about the I know you part?
Lexie Littleton: [Opens her curtain] I still mean that.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Then I'm still upset.
[They both close their curtains]
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I think I will sleep up here tonight.
Lexie Littleton: Oh, you most certainly will not!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Really?
[Mimes talking on a phone]
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: "Believe me, Harvey. By the end of the week, that kid will cook his own goose."
Lexie Littleton: [Her eyes widen] You were spying?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I was observing.
Lexie Littleton: So you want to play dirty, huh?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Maybe later, I'm a little tired right now.
[Lexie gapes at him, brief pause]
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: So, here we are.
Lexie Littleton: I'm not sure what the next move is.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: It happens.
Lexie Littleton: It's my first time.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: They all say that.
Lexie Littleton: [pauses then huffs and takes off her shoes] I'm sure you snore!
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Atta girl!
[Lexie goes into the bottom bunk, Dodge settles into his. Lexie pulls close the curtain on her bunk]
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Sorry if what I said to you today upset you.
Lexie Littleton: Don't be.
[She opens her curtain]
Lexie Littleton: Which part?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: The kick in the head part.
Lexie Littleton: It's forgotten.
[Her and Dodge close their curtains]
Lexie Littleton: Sorry if what I said today upset you.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Don't be.
[Opens his curtain]
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Which part?
Lexie Littleton: The world's tallest midget part.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: What about the I know you part?
Lexie Littleton: [Opens her curtain] I still mean that.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Then I'm still upset.
[They both close their curtains]
Lexie Littleton: What I want to know is why you chose to come in here from the lobby, where you obviously had business, to sit next to me and listen to my conversation. Tell me, or are you afraid to say?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I'm not afraid to say it. I'm in love with Leonard. Go ahead and laugh, everyone does. We had something beautiful until you came along. You think you can just toss him away like a sack of flour?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: I'm not afraid to say it. I'm in love with Leonard. Go ahead and laugh, everyone does. We had something beautiful until you came along. You think you can just toss him away like a sack of flour?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: So you flying solo, or is the Bullet casting about?
Lexie Littleton: What do you care? You're here to entertain Miss Nipplewidth.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: It wouldn't look good for you to get caught in a place like this.
Lexie Littleton: I dare say it wouldn't look good for *anyone* to be caught in a place like this.
Lexie Littleton: What do you care? You're here to entertain Miss Nipplewidth.
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: It wouldn't look good for you to get caught in a place like this.
Lexie Littleton: I dare say it wouldn't look good for *anyone* to be caught in a place like this.
