Little Fockers Quotes
Family-patriarch Jack Byrnes wants to appoint a successor. Does his son-in-law, the male nurse Greg Focker have what it takes?
Dr. Bob: Okay, I get it, Greg. I screwed up. The pressure of being in that family finally got to me.
Greg Focker: What are you talking about? You were his golden boy.
Dr. Bob: More like his golden bitch. He wanted Deb and me to get married in Oyster Bay. Done. Can we name our baby after him? "You got it, Jack." Then he gives me this whole spiel, right, about how I'm next in line to his throne. He came up with this name for me, the Bobfather.
Greg Focker: Really? He said that to you?
Dr. Bob: Ah. He pulled the same shit on you, didn't he? In that family, we're all just hamsters on Jack Byrnes' little wheel. His Circus of Trust or whatever he calls it.
Greg Focker: Circle of Trust.
Dr. Bob: I had no idea how deep I was in until I stepped away, and I'll tell you something. Once I got off the treadmill, I've never been happier.
Greg Focker: What are you talking about? You were his golden boy.
Dr. Bob: More like his golden bitch. He wanted Deb and me to get married in Oyster Bay. Done. Can we name our baby after him? "You got it, Jack." Then he gives me this whole spiel, right, about how I'm next in line to his throne. He came up with this name for me, the Bobfather.
Greg Focker: Really? He said that to you?
Dr. Bob: Ah. He pulled the same shit on you, didn't he? In that family, we're all just hamsters on Jack Byrnes' little wheel. His Circus of Trust or whatever he calls it.
Greg Focker: Circle of Trust.
Dr. Bob: I had no idea how deep I was in until I stepped away, and I'll tell you something. Once I got off the treadmill, I've never been happier.
Jack Byrnes: Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg?
Greg Focker: To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes. Jack, there's never been a problem with that.
Jack Byrnes: [sternly] Even after her body's endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins?
Greg Focker: Yes. Even after that. It's still... It's all good. It's all good under the hood.
Jack Byrnes: That's disgusting.
Greg Focker: To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes. Jack, there's never been a problem with that.
Jack Byrnes: [sternly] Even after her body's endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins?
Greg Focker: Yes. Even after that. It's still... It's all good. It's all good under the hood.
Jack Byrnes: That's disgusting.
Bernie Focker: [On the phone long distance, miffed that he's in Spain learning to be a flamenco dancer] You picked a hell of a time to go through manopause!
Bernie Focker: Roz, I'm not going through manopause. I'm just trying to find my 'true north.'
Roz Focker: True north? What are you... a compass or something?
Bernie Focker: No, but let's face it - I'm a stay-at-home dad whose kid hasn't lived at home in 25 years.
Roz Focker: There's an Arthur Murray studio right here in Miami Beach. Why schep all the way to Spain?
Bernie Focker: Why can't you support my dreams the way I've always supported yours? When you wanted to try new sex positions for your research, I was your guinea pig!
Roz Focker: You volunteered!
Bernie Focker: I pulled my hamstring doing a reverse cowgirl!
Roz Focker: That's because you did it backwards.
Bernie Focker: I never went soft on you.
Roz Focker: Bernie, do you hear how you're upsetting your son?
Bernie Focker: Let me talk. Listen, will you?
Bernie Focker: Roz, I'm not going through manopause. I'm just trying to find my 'true north.'
Roz Focker: True north? What are you... a compass or something?
Bernie Focker: No, but let's face it - I'm a stay-at-home dad whose kid hasn't lived at home in 25 years.
Roz Focker: There's an Arthur Murray studio right here in Miami Beach. Why schep all the way to Spain?
Bernie Focker: Why can't you support my dreams the way I've always supported yours? When you wanted to try new sex positions for your research, I was your guinea pig!
Roz Focker: You volunteered!
Bernie Focker: I pulled my hamstring doing a reverse cowgirl!
Roz Focker: That's because you did it backwards.
Bernie Focker: I never went soft on you.
Roz Focker: Bernie, do you hear how you're upsetting your son?
Bernie Focker: Let me talk. Listen, will you?
Kevin Rawley: [Speaking about Andi Garcia's attractiveness] Look, it's natural to get a little tempted.
Greg Focker: Nobody's tempted, nobody's...
Kevin Rawley: Look, even our dear friend, the Buddha, had to pass through sorrow on his way to enlightenment.
Greg Focker: [sarcasticly] Our dear friend the Buddha? How's he doing? It's been so long. Do you ever listen to yourself?
Kevin Rawley: try not to. I speak from the heart off the cuff like my man JC at the Sermon on the Mount. I think that's what you always admired about me.
Greg Focker: Nobody's tempted, nobody's...
Kevin Rawley: Look, even our dear friend, the Buddha, had to pass through sorrow on his way to enlightenment.
Greg Focker: [sarcasticly] Our dear friend the Buddha? How's he doing? It's been so long. Do you ever listen to yourself?
Kevin Rawley: try not to. I speak from the heart off the cuff like my man JC at the Sermon on the Mount. I think that's what you always admired about me.
Greg Focker: I'm getting off the wheel.
Jack Byrnes: What wheel?
Greg Focker: [losing it] The wheel! The little hamster wheel that we're all running up to get a little taste of your little water thingy!
[imitates a hamster]
Greg Focker: Just, please, approval! Approval! Please! Give me some of the Jack... yeah...
Jack Byrnes: What wheel?
Greg Focker: [losing it] The wheel! The little hamster wheel that we're all running up to get a little taste of your little water thingy!
[imitates a hamster]
Greg Focker: Just, please, approval! Approval! Please! Give me some of the Jack... yeah...
Jack Byrnes: What about Mommy and Daddy, is everything okay with them?
Samantha Focker: I guess they fight sometimes.
Jack Byrnes: Mmm-hmm. And what do they fight about?
Samantha Focker: Um, like Mommy got mad at Daddy because he was going to the hotel with Andi.
Jack Byrnes: Andi?
[Sam laughs and nods]
Jack Byrnes: Who's Andi?
Samantha Focker: I can't say because I'm not supposed to be spying.
Jack Byrnes: Like I always tell you, there's nothing wrong with spying as long as you suspect foul play. So, who's Andi?
Samantha Focker: Andi gives Daddy his boners.
Samantha Focker: I guess they fight sometimes.
Jack Byrnes: Mmm-hmm. And what do they fight about?
Samantha Focker: Um, like Mommy got mad at Daddy because he was going to the hotel with Andi.
Jack Byrnes: Andi?
[Sam laughs and nods]
Jack Byrnes: Who's Andi?
Samantha Focker: I can't say because I'm not supposed to be spying.
Jack Byrnes: Like I always tell you, there's nothing wrong with spying as long as you suspect foul play. So, who's Andi?
Samantha Focker: Andi gives Daddy his boners.
