Little Nicky

Little Nicky Quotes

After two of the devil's three sons escape Hell to wreak havoc on Earth, the devil must send his third son, the mild-mannered Nicky, to bring them back before it's too late.

John: Hey, by the way, Nicky, check this out, what's Ozzy tryin' to say there?
Nicky: John, absolutely nothing, the blizzard always came straight with his messages, but wrap your minds around this, gentlemen.
[Pulls out a Chicago album]
Todd: I love this song.
[Nicky plays the album backwards -"I command you, in the name of Lucifer, to spill the blood of the innocent..."]
Peter: Oh my God, Chicago kicks ass!
Nicky: I will eat your heart
Jimmy the Demon: Remember, you have to shove a pineapple up Hitler's ass at 4 p.m...
Townie: You can do it, Ozzy! Bite his freakin' head off!
Mr. Beefy: Look, it's okay for me to shit in the street, but *you* gotta use a toilet.
Jimmy the Demon: You were gone ten seconds, what happened?
Nicky: I was hit by this big light that was attached to a lot of metal.
Satan: That was a train, son, don't stand in front of them.
Nicky: Well, I'll have to take a mulligan on this one.
Todd: [opens can of Coca Cola and takes a sip] This coke tastes like Pepsi.
Nicky: I'm from the South. The Deep South.
Mr. Beefy: You love acting, I love pissing.
Nicky: I never been to Earth, Dad! I never even slept over some other dude's house!
Nicky: Popeye's chicken is fuckin' awesome!
Demon: Popeye's chicken is the shiznit!
Valerie: Nicky!
Nicky: Valerie!
Valerie: What are you doing?
Nicky: I think I'm floating.
Valerie: Why would you be floating?
Nicky: Maybe it's because of this cake I ate earlier.
Deacon: The Lord loves you, and the Lord loves you.
[to Nicky]
Deacon: You make the Lord very nervous.
Chubbs: You mambo?
Nicky: No, I don't think so.
Chubbs: It's all in the hips, it's all in the hips, it's all in the hips...
Nicky: Can I wash my winky in your kitchen sinky?
Peter: Did you check out the dragon mouth?
John: The Dark Prince is here!
Whitey the Referee: Get this shit outta here!
Nicky: That's not me! That's that cockroach Tony Montana!
Whitey the Referee: Super devil juice? Gimme that, little girl!
Son: [about Nicky] Who's that man, Mommy?
Mom: I dunno, but he sure is butt-ugly.
Reporter: And what brought you out to the game today?
Boy At Game: I came for the beer and the bitches.
Nicky: [after going to heaven] What is this? Is it Dad's birthday?
Nicky: How can I win? Adrian is stronger and smarter than me.
Holly: Stronger? yes, Smarter? definitely. But, you have something that he doesn't have.
Nicky: A speech impediment?
Adrian: I'm going to kill you with my bare hands.
Nicky: I'm ready for ya'.
[Adrian punches Nicky]
Nicky: I guess I wasn't ready.
Peeper: I deserve this! I deserve this!
Mom: Now *that* was some straight-up David Copperfield shit!
Valerie: Do it for the butterflies!
Valerie: Now why don't you give that nice man his flask back?
Street Vendor: And what you gonna do if I don't? Bite me with yo' ssssnaaggletooth?
Todd: Okay this is really creeping me out. My TV just exploded.
Nicky: Your damn right it exploded!... I mean, "really?"
Peeper: Hi Diddley Dee, Are Those Things For Me?
Adrian: I bring you a dear sweet man, Mr. Henry Winkler!
[audience cheering]
Henry Winkler: Good evening.
Adrian: Covered in bees!
Mr. Beefy: [shoots an arrow out of his penis and hits Adrian] Now that hurt the both of us.
Townie: You can do it Nicky! Kick him in his hairy balls!
Nicky: So where did you meet Dad?
Holly: It was a long time ago at this heaven/hell mixer.
Christa: I remember that night. You had like four daiquiris.
Christa: God's so smart.
Jenna: Yeah, like Jeopardy smart.
Lucifer: The last time you said everything was alright, the Renaissance happened.
Nicky: [after being told he needs to die] I'll just go to Heaven!
Mr. Beefy: Not if you do something bad right before you die!
Townie: I know! Cover Winkler in bees! You can do it!
Nicky: [sees Winkler covered with bee stings] Sorry, Henry!
John: Hail, Nicky!
Peter: We are forever your slaves!
Nicky: Good luck with the nipple rubbing!
Nipples: [rubbing nipples] I don't need luck! I'm gooood!
Holly: Oh angels don't get older sweety. I called him sweety!
[Holly and the angels laugh]
Adrian: What time is my brother expected to arrive?
John: Noon...
John: [looks at the clock and sees that it's past noon, desperate] ... ish?
Valerie: Wanna blizm with my bliz blob?
Adrian: At the stroke of midnight, my father will be completely deteriorated and all your souls will be mine. Soon you will see things more horrible than you can even imagine
[stops... sees Nipples dancing erotically]
Adrian: Well... maybe not that horrible... but still pretty bad...
[looks away]
Lucifer: Even in hell I get no respect.
Adrian: Grandpa Lucifer always said it was better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven. Well, I'm tired of serving in Hell.
Adrian: Welcome to the party! It's so nice to see you all here! I'm so proud of you. You've taken to sin with such minimal prompting. You're acting as if there is no heaven or hell. Well, I've got news for you.
[Lifts cape up and turns into priest]
Adrian: There is most definitely a hell and you're all gonna go there when you die. Which is in about 15 minutes.
Deacon: Holy shit! We really are gonna die!
Mr. Beefy: Yeah I had a weak back... about a week back! Ahahahaha!
Nicky: Yo, fossil-head! I got a bone to pick with you!
Mr. Beefy: You changed a Coke into a Pepsi?
Nicky: [after preacher runs away screaming about burning up, Nicky turns to speak to Mr. Beefy] I don't know what that guys problem is, it's freezing up here!
Peter: Drink up. Here's to fifty million clams.
Adrian: To the defilement of Earth and the corruption of its people.
Peter: Okay whatever, just drink it.
Adrian: It's awfully hot down here. How do you manage to stay so cool?
John: Uh, beer lowers the body temperature. I read that in a beer magazine.
Adrian: This liquid would probably quench my thirst, cool me off.
Peter: Definitely.
John: It'll give you a pretty good buzz.
Adrian: Or maybe it will trap me inside for all of eternity.
John: Uh, no it won't.
Todd: You know, this cake tastes kind of funny.
John: Oh yeah, I dumped a fat sack of reefer into the mix. I thought I'd spice up the batch.
Mr. Beefy: Really?
Nicky: What's Reefer?
Mr. Beefy: About five Hundred bucks an ounce.
Deacon: Why do you taunt me with your darkness? Your evil is stinkin' up our streets! The end is near! We are all gonna die!
Satan: I'm sorry. After careful consideration, I regretfully have to decline.
Dan Marino: C'mon, man, I'm just asking, let me win one Superbowl.
Satan: In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're too nice of a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.
Dan Marino: You did it for Namath.
Satan: Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.
Nicky: Get in the flask!
Popeye's Cashier: What're you talkin' about, man?
Nicky: I'm talkin' about an 8-piece, let's go!
Adrian: I hear a train a-comin'!
Gatekeeper: Are there boobs on my head?
Nicky: Yeah, big ones.
Nicky: Release the good.
[shoots rainbows out of hands and group of bunnies appear]
Nicky: Yes, they're furry.
Demon: Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, Bunny!
Nicky: You want a pillow fight, do ya? then let's let the feathers fly!
Jenna: That guy is still the biggest horndog.
Deacon: The Hell Beast is above us and I can smell an evil slut!
Lucifer: The last time I saw a pair of jugs that big, two hillbillies were blowing on them.
Nicky: [speaking in Korean to vendors] A thousand good mornings to you, my friends!
Korean Vendor: [speaking to wife in Korean] You grab him, I'll punch him in the dick until he passes out.
Korean Vendor: [repeatedly in Korean] Monster!
Nicky: I'll beat you Adrian!
Adrian: You cant beat me Nicky, even the voice inside your head has a speech impediment

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