Looney Tunes: Back in Action Quotes
The Looney Tunes search for a man's missing father and the mythical Blue Monkey diamond.
[Bugs Bunny is outside of the ship fighting Marvin the Martian. Daffy is cringing inside the ship, sucking his thumb]
Daffy Duck: What am I gonna do? What would Damian Drake do? What would Duck Dodgers do?... Wait a minute, *I'm* Duck Dodgers!
[Daffy "spins" into his Duck Dodgers costume]
Daffy Duck: Aha! I'm going to be the hero of this picture!
[Then Daffy straps one of five rockets on]
Daffy Duck: Duck Dodgers to the rescue!
[the rocket blows up. Daffy straps on the second rocket]
Daffy Duck: [dazed] Duck Dodgers to the...
[the rocket blows up. Daffy straps on the third rocket]
Daffy Duck: [dazed] Duck Dodge...
[the rocket blows up. Daffy turns and LOOKS at the fourth rocket]
Daffy Duck: Duck...
[the rocket blows up]
Daffy Duck: [Daffy suddenly appears outside the ship with the last rocket strapped on, working]
Daffy Duck: It's "You-Know-Who" to the rescue!
[to the audience]
Daffy Duck: It helps if you don't say the name.
Daffy Duck: What am I gonna do? What would Damian Drake do? What would Duck Dodgers do?... Wait a minute, *I'm* Duck Dodgers!
[Daffy "spins" into his Duck Dodgers costume]
Daffy Duck: Aha! I'm going to be the hero of this picture!
[Then Daffy straps one of five rockets on]
Daffy Duck: Duck Dodgers to the rescue!
[the rocket blows up. Daffy straps on the second rocket]
Daffy Duck: [dazed] Duck Dodgers to the...
[the rocket blows up. Daffy straps on the third rocket]
Daffy Duck: [dazed] Duck Dodge...
[the rocket blows up. Daffy turns and LOOKS at the fourth rocket]
Daffy Duck: Duck...
[the rocket blows up]
Daffy Duck: [Daffy suddenly appears outside the ship with the last rocket strapped on, working]
Daffy Duck: It's "You-Know-Who" to the rescue!
[to the audience]
Daffy Duck: It helps if you don't say the name.
Mr. Chairman: This is unacceptable. We cannot have nine-year-olds working in sweatshops making ACME goods... when three-year-olds work for so much less...
[all the VPs reach for their buzzers. The VP of Child Labor gets to his first]
Acme VP, Child Labor: But they require naps, sir.
Mr. Chairman: Put double espresso in their sippy cups.
[all the VPs reach for their buzzers. The VP of Child Labor gets to his first]
Acme VP, Child Labor: But they require naps, sir.
Mr. Chairman: Put double espresso in their sippy cups.
Kate Houghton: Look, I'm trying to be nice, but I was brought in to leverage your synergy, and I am not going to let you or some wacky duck...
Bugs Bunny: Daffy.
Kate Houghton: Wacky, daffy, nutty, fruitcake, crispy over rice, it doesn't matter.
Bugs Bunny: [produces award statuettes] Well, these matter...
[hoists up Walk of Fame star]
Bugs Bunny: ...and this, and they say bring Daffy back. Right, boys?
Statuettes: We want Daffy! We want Daffy
Bugs Bunny: Daffy.
Kate Houghton: Wacky, daffy, nutty, fruitcake, crispy over rice, it doesn't matter.
Bugs Bunny: [produces award statuettes] Well, these matter...
[hoists up Walk of Fame star]
Bugs Bunny: ...and this, and they say bring Daffy back. Right, boys?
Statuettes: We want Daffy! We want Daffy
Yosemite Sam: [regarding a lit dynamite stick in the car] Throw it out the window! Throw it out the window! Throw it out!
Nasty Canasta: But innocent people could get hurt.
Yosemite Sam: Throw it out the window!
Cottontail Smith: But it'll send the wrong message to children.
Yosemite Sam: I said throw it out the...
[dynamite explodes]
Yosemite Sam: Ooooh!
Nasty Canasta: But innocent people could get hurt.
Yosemite Sam: Throw it out the window!
Cottontail Smith: But it'll send the wrong message to children.
Yosemite Sam: I said throw it out the...
[dynamite explodes]
Yosemite Sam: Ooooh!
[Mr. Chairman decides to send the Tasmanian Devil to retrieve the Blue Monkey]
Acme VP, Never Learning: [presses buzzer] Sir, while we agree that the Tasmanian Devil is extremely vicious, if memory serves he is also incredibly stupid.
Mr. Chairman: Really? Well so are you!
[Mr. Chairman opens the cage holding the Tasmanian Devil, who heads out of shot. The sounds of a fight are heard, before the Tasmanian Devil returns to his cage. The camera pans back to VP, Never Learning, who has been reduced to just a skeleton]
Acme VP, Never Learning: [presses buzzer] I withdraw my objection.
Acme VP, Never Learning: [presses buzzer] Sir, while we agree that the Tasmanian Devil is extremely vicious, if memory serves he is also incredibly stupid.
Mr. Chairman: Really? Well so are you!
[Mr. Chairman opens the cage holding the Tasmanian Devil, who heads out of shot. The sounds of a fight are heard, before the Tasmanian Devil returns to his cage. The camera pans back to VP, Never Learning, who has been reduced to just a skeleton]
Acme VP, Never Learning: [presses buzzer] I withdraw my objection.
[a Wal-Mart appears in the desert]
Bugs Bunny: Is that a mirage, or just product placement?
Daffy Duck: Oh, who cares, with shopping convenience at such low prices? Water! Fresca! Mountain Dew! Your Product Name Here!
DJ Drake: Is this your idea?
Kate Houghton: The audience expects it. They don't even notice this kind of thing anymore.
Bugs Bunny: Is that a mirage, or just product placement?
Daffy Duck: Oh, who cares, with shopping convenience at such low prices? Water! Fresca! Mountain Dew! Your Product Name Here!
DJ Drake: Is this your idea?
Kate Houghton: The audience expects it. They don't even notice this kind of thing anymore.
[making suggestions to improve Bugs's image]
Kate Houghton: So, what do we do? We team you up with a hot female co-star!
Bugs Bunny: Usually...
[dresses in drag]
Bugs Bunny: *I* play the female love interest!
[Michigan J. Frog, at the table behind Bugs, jumps up and begins to sing "Hello, My Baby"]
Kate Houghton: Okay, about the crossdressing thing - then, funny; now, disturbing.
[Bugs removes the dress and lipstick]
Bugs Bunny: Lady, if you don't find a rabbit wearin' lipstick amusing, then we ain't got nothin' to say to each other.
Kate Houghton: So, what do we do? We team you up with a hot female co-star!
Bugs Bunny: Usually...
[dresses in drag]
Bugs Bunny: *I* play the female love interest!
[Michigan J. Frog, at the table behind Bugs, jumps up and begins to sing "Hello, My Baby"]
Kate Houghton: Okay, about the crossdressing thing - then, funny; now, disturbing.
[Bugs removes the dress and lipstick]
Bugs Bunny: Lady, if you don't find a rabbit wearin' lipstick amusing, then we ain't got nothin' to say to each other.
Mr. Chairman: Chair people, I reveal to you... the whereabouts of the Blue Monkey
[laughs, then plugs the phone in the table and the map appears with Daffy in it]
Mr. Chairman: ... There's a duck in the middle of the map, remove the duck... Remove the Duck! The duck is in the mid... Duck!
[Throws the phone at the screen and breaks it]
Mr. Chairman: ... Oh... Now, we cannot let a boy, a girl, and a duck and a rabbit thwart our plans for global domination!
Damien Drake: Wanna bet?
Mr. Chairman: A Wager?
Damien Drake: $5 dollars says my son will scuttle your diabolicle plans and save the world.
Mr. Chairman: You're awfully spunky for a man in your position
[Uses the controls to make Damien slap himself in the face]
Mr. Chairman: ... How do you like that, Mr. Slap-Yourself-In-Your-Own-Face"?
[Gives the controls to the Laboratory Scientist]
Mr. Chairman: [to the Scientist] Give him a good zets every once in a while
[gives the controls to the scientist]
Mr. Chairman: .
Laboratory Scientist: My pleasure
[then continues making Damien slap himself]
Laboratory Scientist: .
[laughs, then plugs the phone in the table and the map appears with Daffy in it]
Mr. Chairman: ... There's a duck in the middle of the map, remove the duck... Remove the Duck! The duck is in the mid... Duck!
[Throws the phone at the screen and breaks it]
Mr. Chairman: ... Oh... Now, we cannot let a boy, a girl, and a duck and a rabbit thwart our plans for global domination!
Damien Drake: Wanna bet?
Mr. Chairman: A Wager?
Damien Drake: $5 dollars says my son will scuttle your diabolicle plans and save the world.
Mr. Chairman: You're awfully spunky for a man in your position
[Uses the controls to make Damien slap himself in the face]
Mr. Chairman: ... How do you like that, Mr. Slap-Yourself-In-Your-Own-Face"?
[Gives the controls to the Laboratory Scientist]
Mr. Chairman: [to the Scientist] Give him a good zets every once in a while
[gives the controls to the scientist]
Mr. Chairman: .
Laboratory Scientist: My pleasure
[then continues making Damien slap himself]
Laboratory Scientist: .
Daffy Duck: Say, that's the stuff from my office.
Mr. Warner: You don't have an office.
Mr. Warner's Brother: Not any more.
Daffy Duck: Symbolically, this is bad. Come on, Brother? Other Brother? Icy she-wolf? You can't fire me. I'm too young and tender to retire.
Kate Houghton: Let me escort you out.
Daffy Duck: Wait! I haven't tried toadying, kowtowing and butt-kissing yet! I'm still begging here!
Mr. Warner: You don't have an office.
Mr. Warner's Brother: Not any more.
Daffy Duck: Symbolically, this is bad. Come on, Brother? Other Brother? Icy she-wolf? You can't fire me. I'm too young and tender to retire.
Kate Houghton: Let me escort you out.
Daffy Duck: Wait! I haven't tried toadying, kowtowing and butt-kissing yet! I'm still begging here!
Mr. Chairman: [Referring to the screen showing DJ's dad about to meet his demise] Here is you father tied up on the tracks, and here is the train of death right on schedule. You see Mr. Drake, if the train of death doesn't kill your father, then maybe those crates of TNT will, not to mention the two ton anvil hanging over his head, and...
Mr. Chairman: [Noticing the pendulum of doom] Oh, and look there's the pendulum of doom! What's the pendulum of doom doing there? I did not order the pendulum of doom!
Mr. Chairman: [On the intercom with Wily E. Coyote] That's overkill! Get rid of it!
Mr. Chairman: [Noticing the pendulum of doom] Oh, and look there's the pendulum of doom! What's the pendulum of doom doing there? I did not order the pendulum of doom!
Mr. Chairman: [On the intercom with Wily E. Coyote] That's overkill! Get rid of it!
[on Lillard's portrayal of Shaggy]
Shaggy: What kind of performance do you call that? You made me sound like a total space cadet, man!
Matthew Lillard: I'm sorry you feel that way. I was just trying to be true to your character.
Shaggy: If you, like, goof up on me in the sequel, I'ma coming after ya!
Scooby Doo: Reah. And Ri'll rive you a Scooby Smack!
[Scooby growls viciously at Lillard]
Shaggy: What kind of performance do you call that? You made me sound like a total space cadet, man!
Matthew Lillard: I'm sorry you feel that way. I was just trying to be true to your character.
Shaggy: If you, like, goof up on me in the sequel, I'ma coming after ya!
Scooby Doo: Reah. And Ri'll rive you a Scooby Smack!
[Scooby growls viciously at Lillard]
[DJ and Yosemite Sam follow the Queen of Diamonds playing card to Foghorn Leghorn's blackjack table, where it gets shuffled into the deck]
Foghorn Leghorn: Place, I say, place your bets! Money plays, loser stays! Everyone's a winn - well, not everyone.
Yosemite Sam: [Drops a bag of money on the table] Here's my money, now play!
Foghorn Leghorn: Card, sir?
DJ Drake: Hit me.
Foghorn Leghorn: Don'cha, I say, don'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's as sharp as a bowling ball.
DJ Drake: [looks at the card; it's an ace] Hit me.
Yosemite Sam: No, hit me first!
Foghorn Leghorn: Wait your, I saya wait your turn, sir.
[deals another ace to DJ]
DJ Drake: Hit me.
[Foghorn deals another ace]
DJ Drake: Hit me.
Yosemite Sam: No, hit me!
[Foghorn continues to deal aces and twos to DJ. Sam can't take it anymore]
Yosemite Sam: No, no, no, hit ME, fragnabbit!
[Foghorn glances at the audience, then smashes Sam in the head with a piece of wood. Squashed, Sam scuttles around the table, cursing unintelligibly]
Foghorn Leghorn: He's the boss.
[Back to DJ]
Foghorn Leghorn: Card Sir?
[DJ winces at the possibility of himself getting hit as well]
DJ Drake: [unsure] ... Hit me?
[Foghorn finally deals the Queen of Diamonds; DJ snatches it off the table]
Foghorn Leghorn: Twenty-one! We have, I say we have a winner!
[DJ and Daffy break for the door]
Daffy Duck: And then, they made their heroic escape!
[Daffy runs facefirst into the door that isn't open. DJ comes back, peels Daffy off, and exits again]
Foghorn Leghorn: Place, I say, place your bets! Money plays, loser stays! Everyone's a winn - well, not everyone.
Yosemite Sam: [Drops a bag of money on the table] Here's my money, now play!
Foghorn Leghorn: Card, sir?
DJ Drake: Hit me.
Foghorn Leghorn: Don'cha, I say, don'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's as sharp as a bowling ball.
DJ Drake: [looks at the card; it's an ace] Hit me.
Yosemite Sam: No, hit me first!
Foghorn Leghorn: Wait your, I saya wait your turn, sir.
[deals another ace to DJ]
DJ Drake: Hit me.
[Foghorn deals another ace]
DJ Drake: Hit me.
Yosemite Sam: No, hit me!
[Foghorn continues to deal aces and twos to DJ. Sam can't take it anymore]
Yosemite Sam: No, no, no, hit ME, fragnabbit!
[Foghorn glances at the audience, then smashes Sam in the head with a piece of wood. Squashed, Sam scuttles around the table, cursing unintelligibly]
Foghorn Leghorn: He's the boss.
[Back to DJ]
Foghorn Leghorn: Card Sir?
[DJ winces at the possibility of himself getting hit as well]
DJ Drake: [unsure] ... Hit me?
[Foghorn finally deals the Queen of Diamonds; DJ snatches it off the table]
Foghorn Leghorn: Twenty-one! We have, I say we have a winner!
[DJ and Daffy break for the door]
Daffy Duck: And then, they made their heroic escape!
[Daffy runs facefirst into the door that isn't open. DJ comes back, peels Daffy off, and exits again]
Bugs Bunny: I'm tellin ya, Daffy, I heard the Warner Brothers say that you were their best duck.
Daffy Duck: Flattered though I may be, flattened I will not, in order for you to get the laughs! It's all "woo-hoo, yuk yuk", and then "wham, bam, blam!"
[whacks himself around for added emphasis]
Bugs Bunny: And your tail's on fire.
Daffy Duck: Exactly my point! I...
Bugs Bunny: No, I mean your tail's on fire.
[Daffy sees that his tail IS on fire - he runs around trying to extinguish it - Bugs laughs]
Bugs Bunny: Daff, you're accident prone.
[Daffy finally puts out his tail]
Daffy Duck: Oh, what am I talking to you for? All you have to do is munch on a carrot and people love you.
Daffy Duck: Flattered though I may be, flattened I will not, in order for you to get the laughs! It's all "woo-hoo, yuk yuk", and then "wham, bam, blam!"
[whacks himself around for added emphasis]
Bugs Bunny: And your tail's on fire.
Daffy Duck: Exactly my point! I...
Bugs Bunny: No, I mean your tail's on fire.
[Daffy sees that his tail IS on fire - he runs around trying to extinguish it - Bugs laughs]
Bugs Bunny: Daff, you're accident prone.
[Daffy finally puts out his tail]
Daffy Duck: Oh, what am I talking to you for? All you have to do is munch on a carrot and people love you.
