Loser Quotes
A college student, branded a loser by his roommates and booted from the dorm, falls in love with a coed who has eyes for their condescending professor.
Dora Diamond: Well, you know how there are couples that stay together just because they feel like they can't do any better, or there are people who are sad and miserable and live alone? But then there's this microscopically teeny group of luck people who get to be with the person they're madly in love with.
Paul Tannek: Dora, you ever consider being in love and leaving out the "madly" part?
Dora Diamond: Well, what's the fun in that?
Paul Tannek: Dora, you ever consider being in love and leaving out the "madly" part?
Dora Diamond: Well, what's the fun in that?
Chris: Whoa! Whoa! Wha-what's goin' on?
Inspector: Inspections for drugs and alcohol.
Noah: What?
Adam: Since when?
Student: O'Brien from the eighth floor's in a coma.
Chris: So?
Student: So the board instigated some new policies.
Adam: [overlapping the next two lines] That-that-that-that-that-that-that...
Noah: This is whack!
Chris: Can they even DO this?
Adam: I'm callin' my father's lawyer. Our parents pay a lot of money for us to enjoy our college experience.
Inspector: Inspections for drugs and alcohol.
Noah: What?
Adam: Since when?
Student: O'Brien from the eighth floor's in a coma.
Chris: So?
Student: So the board instigated some new policies.
Adam: [overlapping the next two lines] That-that-that-that-that-that-that...
Noah: This is whack!
Chris: Can they even DO this?
Adam: I'm callin' my father's lawyer. Our parents pay a lot of money for us to enjoy our college experience.
Adam: You gotta help me. Lisa is all primed but her helpful friend, fat Rita, will take her home unless she gets some action, too.
Noah: OK, first of all, I'm way too wasted to be operating heavy machinery. And second of all, I got this little spinner all G-ed out. She's liquid.
Adam: Leave her on the back burner. Take one for the team.
Noah: OK, first of all, I'm way too wasted to be operating heavy machinery. And second of all, I got this little spinner all G-ed out. She's liquid.
Adam: Leave her on the back burner. Take one for the team.
Chris: Man, our T.G. party was a total bust. Every time I got close to hittin' it with one of those new mamas, her evil girlfriend's got to show up and screw everything up.
Adam: What we need is a higher female-to-male ratio, like in cool nightclubs, you know, where they let in five times as many women as men.
Noah: How are we gonna get five times as many women to show up?
Adam: We have a party but we call it a fundraiser.
Chris: So we gotta think of a charity.
Adam: It's gotta be the right charity. It's got to attract hotties.
Chris: Yeah.
Noah: What's that country with all the babies?
Adam: China.
Chris: Romania.
Noah: No.
Chris: But wait, I don't know about babies. No, I mean, that's going to give 'em the wrong message.
Noah: How about AIDS?
Adam: Oh, THERE'S a mood-setter.
Adam: What we need is a higher female-to-male ratio, like in cool nightclubs, you know, where they let in five times as many women as men.
Noah: How are we gonna get five times as many women to show up?
Adam: We have a party but we call it a fundraiser.
Chris: So we gotta think of a charity.
Adam: It's gotta be the right charity. It's got to attract hotties.
Chris: Yeah.
Noah: What's that country with all the babies?
Adam: China.
Chris: Romania.
Noah: No.
Chris: But wait, I don't know about babies. No, I mean, that's going to give 'em the wrong message.
Noah: How about AIDS?
Adam: Oh, THERE'S a mood-setter.
Chris: Come on! You're my asshole buddy. Look, since O'Brien died...
Paul Tannek: What?
Chris: O'Brien, on the eighth floor, he died. So they've instituted this new policy where they're, like, doing grocery inspections to make sure there's no alcohol coming in, and they're doing spot checks to make sure that there's, like, one guest per person. Just because one guy can't monitor his buzz, all of us got to suffer.
Paul Tannek: What?
Chris: O'Brien, on the eighth floor, he died. So they've instituted this new policy where they're, like, doing grocery inspections to make sure there's no alcohol coming in, and they're doing spot checks to make sure that there's, like, one guest per person. Just because one guy can't monitor his buzz, all of us got to suffer.
