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The animals try to fly back to New York City, but crash-land on an African wildlife refuge, where Alex is reunited with his parents.
Julien: New York! It's a bit of a dump. Are you sure we're not in New Jersey?
Private: In case of a loss of oxygen, please place your masks over your faces to hide your terrified expressions from the other passengers.
Alex: Marty, it looks like this is it! I just want you to know, you're a one in a million friend! Marty: Thanks, Alex! You are a true friend! Alex: And I'm sure you won't mind when I tell you... Marty: What? Tell me what? Alex: I broke your iPod! Marty: What? Alex: The buttons were so small! It made me mad! Marty: The horror! Alex: It was an accident! Marty: I'm gonna kill you!
Nana: I know you! Alex: You! Nana: It's the bad kitty!
Melman: No, no that's not it. Listen Mototo, you'd better treat this lady like a queen. Because you, you my friend... have found the perfect woman. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect woman, I would give her flowers every day. And not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids. White. And I would bring her breakfast every day. Six loaves of wheat bread with butter on both sides. No crusts. Just the way she likes it. I'd be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend. And I'd spend every day thinking of ways to make her laugh. She has the most... amazing laugh. That's what I would do, if I were you. But I'm not. So you do it. Moto Moto: Uhhh... What? Aaaanyways, where were we? Gloria: [sigh] I'm huge?
[Bulb on the fuel guage is flashing] Kowalski: Skipper, look. Skipper: Analysis Kowalski: It looks like a small incandescent bulb, designed to indicate something out of the ordinary, like a malfunction. Skipper: I find it pretty and somewhat hypnotic. Kowalski: That too, sir. Skipper: Right. Rico, maunal! [Catches the manual and smashes the bulb with it] Skipper: Problemo solved. Kowalski: Sir, we may be out of fuel. Skipper: What makes you think that? Kowalski: We've lost engine one, and engine two is no longer on fire. Skipper: Buckle up, boys. Don't look, doll, this might get hairy. [on the microphone] Skipper: This is your captain speaking. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we will be landing immediately. [everyone claps] Skipper: The bad news is, we're crash landing. [Plane goes on a dive] Skipper: When it comes to air travel, we know that you have no choice whatsoever, but thanks again for choosing Air Penguin.
Kowalski: Only two passengers unaccounted for, Skipper. Skipper: That's a number I can live with! Good landing, boys! Who says a penguin can't fly?
Melman: [as the plane is going down] I love you, Gloria! I always have! [Gloria is fast asleep; Alex and Marty stare at Melman] Melman: Like you love the beach, or a good book, or the beach...
Alex: I wanna prove to my dad that I'm a *real* lion. Marty: As opposed, to a *chocolate* lion!
Marty: That is definitely not crackalackin'. Alex: It is lackin' in the crackin', my friend.
Julien: [after Melman has announced he has only 48 hours to live] If I, King Julien, that's my name, had only two days to live, I would do all the things I always wanted to do. Melman: Like what? Julien: I'd become a professional whistler. I'm pretty fantastic right now, but I would do it professionally. [Tries to whistle, but all that comes out is a long raspberry] Julien: Another thing I would do is invade a neighboring country, and force my own ideology on them, even if they didn't want it.
Julien: [pops out from a cake] Hey, freaks! You will be glad to learn that I am coming with you! Alex: Oh ho ho, no, thank you. Julien: Oh, *yes*, thank you. It's *my* plane!
Alex: [Dancing as he speaks] How! Me and my friends fly... fly, on great metal bird... then we plummet... [whistles] Alex: Boom! Crash here. We offer only happiness and good greetings. Hippo Girlfriend: Is he dancing about a plane crash? Alex: Yeah, we are. Sorry.
Skipper: [Looking at the blueprints for the plane] Very impressive, Kowalski. But will it fly? Kowalski: Yes, if you fold it here, here, and here. [Folds plans into paper plane and throws it] Skipper: Nice.
Gloria: What is this place? Melman: San Diego. This time, I'm 40% sure.
Skipper: I'd like to kiss you, monkey man. Mason: All right, but you're so darn ugly. [Kisses Skipper]
Gloria: So you must be Moto Moto. Moto Moto: The name so nice when you say it twice [Shows three fingers] Moto Moto: .
Julien: Whatever happened to the separation of the classes? Maurice: I'm sure this whole democracy thing is just a fad.
Skipper: That has to be the second biggest slingshot I've ever seen, but I guess it'll have to do.
Melman: What, you don't have doctors here? Stephen: Well not any more. Melman: What if you catch a cold or something. Additional Giraffe: We go over to the dying holes, and we die.
Gloria: [to Moto Moto] Who's your friend? Or is that your butt?
Julien: [Mort wants to go on the plane] Stop him! He's carrying scissors and hand cream!
Moto Moto: Well, I promise the answer will always be 'yes,' unless 'no' is required.
Zuba: Alakay, look out! Alex: [Fighting Teetsi] No, dad! It's 'Hop, Shuffle,Ball Change, Hip Swish, Turn Around!'! [Gets sucker punched in the face by Teetsi]
Skipper: Operation tourist trap is a go. Private: Oh, I like that one, that's a good one. Kowalski: It works on many levels, sir. Skipper: You guys are a bunch of suck-ups. Kowalski: That too, sir. Private: Oh, absolutely, sir.
Julien: Ha,ha,ha! I like laughing! It's such a nice experience! Melman: [Melman pokes his head in] Whoa. Julien: Exuse me, this is first class. It's nothing personal, it's just that we're better than you.
Julien: [as the plane dives] Raise your arms, Maurice! It's more fun when you raise your arms up like this, ah ha ha ha!
Skipper: Gently now, you just wanna kiss the ground, just a little peck, a smooch like you're kissing your sister. [Plane violently lands and the tires break off] Skipper: I said kiss it!
Nana: I'm not gonna stay out in the open and get attacked by more animals. I'm too old to die.
Makunga: Who could possibly take Zuba's place? Someone? Anyone? No one? [a lion stands up] Makunga: You, sir! [Swings scepter towards lion, "accidentally" knocking him out] Makunga: I guess, awkward as it is, I could carry this tremendous burden.
Makunga: Look at it this way. After I defeat you and take your place as alpha lion, you'll have that much more time to spend with your pathetic excuse of a son. Zuba: Before I kick your butt again, tell me why you want to be alpha lion? Makunga: I'm better looking, I have better hair, I'm deceitfully smart, and I want everyone to do what I say.
Skipper: We'll divide into three groups. Group Alpha, you're in charge of sheet metal fabrication. Group Bronson, you'll handle assembley. Group George Peppard, you'll handle craft services. Any questions?
Skipper: [to Alex] You! Pretty boy! Why don't you and your friends dig a latrine, maybe find water. Alex: Hold on, hold on a second. Who made you... king of the plane wreck? Skipper: 'Scuse me? [Rico pulls out and deploys a switchblade]
Baby Marty: I don't like the looks of this guy. He's a bit of a show-off. Baby Gloria: I think he's kinda cute. Baby Melman: You think he's cute?
Kowalski: We've lost engine one... and engine two is no longer on fire
Alex: She's got a gun! Let's get out while we can! Pass it on! [monkeys chain whisper the message up to the plane] Mason: He said, 'Let's have some fun and take out the dam. Basset hound'.
Mason: The plane won't be fixed until the suits meet our demands. Now, about maternity leave. Skipper: Maternity leave? [glances under the table] Skipper: You're all male... Marty: Look, we need that plane for a rescue mission. Skipper: Well, there's nothing I can do until we bust up this union. Gloria: I'm gonna get to bustin' up all you if you don't get this plane going! Skipper: Can't you see these commies have my hands tied, here? NO maternity leave! Mason: [nudges Phil, who pulls out incriminating photos of Skipper and "Doll" in compromising positions] Maybe a certain someone wouldn't want *these* blowing around the savanna? Skipper: [reluctantly] All right, you get your maternity leave.
Julien: I don't know why the sacrifice didn't work. The science was so solid.
Marty: I still think he's a show-off. Melman: You gotta give him credit. He is an animal. Marty: I don't know about you guys, but I feel like going on vacation. Gloria: Where are we going to go on vacation? Marty: I was thinking Conneticut.
Gloria: Any water? Moto Moto: No, just more diamonds and gold.
Gloria: Julian, stop this! This is crazy! Julien: Oh, suddenly throwing a giraffe into a volcano to make water, is crazy!
Alex: Hey! Happy Slappers! Is there any reason to celebrate? Look at the plane! Skipper: We'll fix it. Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this? Skipper: Grit, spit [Private spits] Skipper: and a whole lotta duct tape. [Rico pulls out a roll of duct tape] Skipper: We should be up and running in say... [Kowalski shows him an abacus] Skipper: six to nine months. Alex: Sixty-nine months? Skipper: No, six *to* nine months.
Julien: Please, go over there please
Alex: Slow down! You're gonna kill us! There's got to be another way! Pass it on! [the monkey chain relays the message up to the plane] Mason: Don't slow down. Kill us. It's the only way. Basset Hound! Skipper: The best sacrifice is the one made by others. [Nana shoots through the plane's windshield and blows off the bobblehead doll's head] Skipper: Doll! MEDIC! [Private gets out the duct tape]
Julien: [the animal herds are running towards the fiery volcano, planning on sacrificing Melman to the gods in hopes of creating water] Hurry up, before we come to our senses!
Private: In case we go down, place the lifejacket over your head, pull the sting, and kiss your kids good-bye.
Alex: If you're ever in Manhattan, feel free to call first. [Sees two lemurs picking each other's noses and eating the boogers] Alex: Seriously though, call, okay?
Skipper: Pray to your personal god this hunk of junk flies.
Alex: I like to move it, move it! Gloria: He likes to move it, move it! Marty: She likes to move it, move it! Melman: We like to...? Lemurs: Move it!
Julien: Do you mind going back? This is first class. Julien: It's nothing personal, it's just that we're better than you.
Mason: The plane will not be finished until the suits meet our demands. Now, about maternity leave. Skipper: Maternity leave? [looks under table] Skipper: You're all male!
Zuba: Good luck, Alakai. Alex: Were we come from, we say "break a leg". Zuba: That's my boy!
Julien: [referring to the fiery volcano] I'd jump in myself, if I weren't so good at whistling. [proceeds to whistle terribly]
Gloria: Is this place great or what? Alex: I'd go with "or what".
Zuba: Love transcends all boundaries. We are here to celebrate such a love. Do you two take each other for better or worse? Skipper: For better, please.
Skipper: Higher mammal! We shall require use of your opposibles! [Phil curses in sign language] Mason: Phil! I ought to wash your hands out with soap.
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