Madagascar Quotes

Spoiled by their upbringing with no idea what wild life is really like, four animals from New York Central Zoo escape, unwittingly assisted by four absconding penguins, and find themselves in Madagascar, among a bunch of merry lemurs

[Marty the Zebra and Alex the Lion running towards each other on the beach in slow motion with arms outstretched and Chariots of Fire music]
Alex the Lion: Marty!
Marty the Zebra: Alex!
Alex the Lion: Marty!
Marty the Zebra: Alex!
Alex the Lion: Marty!
Marty the Zebra: Alex!
Alex the Lion: [angrily] Marty!
Marty the Zebra: [afraid] Alex?
Alex the Lion: [real-time] Marty!
Marty the Zebra: Oh, Sugar Honey Ice Tea!

[last lines]
Private the Penguin: Skipper. Shouldn't we tell them that the boat is out of gas?
Skipper the Penguin: Nah! Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
[all four penguins waving]

Alex the Lion: Did he just say "Grand Central Station," or "My aunt's constipation"?

Julian: Shh! We're hiding. Be quiet everyone. That includes me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again...

Julian: Welcome to Madagascar.
Marty the Zebra: Mada-who-ah?
Julian: No. Not who-ah. As-car.

Marty the Zebra: I'm ten years old. My life is half over and I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes!

Private the Penguin: [landing in Antarctica] Well. This sucks.

Mason the Chimpanzee: [Mason and Phil are surrounded by police] If you have any poo, fling it now.

Mort the Mouse Lemur: King Julian! What are they?
[shouts]
Mort the Mouse Lemur: What are they?
Julian: They are... aliens! Savage aliens! From the savage future!
Maurice: They've come to kill us! And take our women! And our precious metals!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [begins weeping]
Julian: Get up Mort! Do not be near the King's feet, okay!

Mort the Mouse Lemur: They are savages! Tonight we die.
Julian: The feet! I told you about - I told you to - I told you - didn't I tell him about the feet?
Maurice: He did tell you about the feet.
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [cutely] E-he.

Alex the Lion: 27, 28, 29, 30. Hmm, 30 black and only 29 white, looks like you're black with white stripes after all. Dilemma solved. Good night!

Skipper the Penguin: Remember, cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly.

Skipper the Penguin: You, quadruped. Sprechen Sie Englisch?
Marty the Zebra: I sprechen.
Skipper the Penguin: What continent is this?
Marty the Zebra: Manhattan.
Skipper the Penguin: Hoover Dam! We're still in New York! Abort! Dive! Dive! Dive!

Gloria the Hippo: Where are the people?
Skipper the Penguin: We killed them and ate their livers.
[pause]
Skipper the Penguin: Gotcha, didn't I? just kiddin', doll. The people are fine. They're on a slow boat to China.

Marty the Zebra: Grand Central Station. It's grand, and it's central.

Marty the Zebra: What are you guys doing?
Private the Penguin: We're digging to Antartica!
[Skipper smacks Private]
Marty the Zebra: An-who-tica?
Skipper the Penguin: Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend?
[Marty looks around and nods]
Skipper the Penguin: Do you ever see any penguins running free around New York City?
[Marty shakes his head]
Skipper the Penguin: Of course not. We don't belong here. It's just not natural. This is all some kind of wacked out conspiracy. We're going to the wide open spaces of Antarctica! To the wild!

Alex the Lion: Today was a great day. It just doesn't get any better than this, you know? Oh, look, it just did. Even the star is out. You won't find a star like that in the wild.
Marty the Zebra: Helicopter.

Old Lady: [after beating Alex with her purse and spraying him in the eyes with mace] You are a bad kitty!

Melman the Giraffe: [shouts] Ahhhhh! Nature! It's all over me! Get it off!

Alex the Lion: [talking in his sleep] Come on now, baby. My little filet. My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy.

Random Lemur: I like them!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: I like them, I like them! I liked them first! Before I even met them I liked them! As soon as I met them I liked them right away! You hate them compared to how much I like them!
Julian: Oh shut up, you're so annoying!

Melman the Giraffe: It's getting late. I guess I'm gonna...
[starts snoring]

Julian: [to Mort] Oh, shut up, you're so annoying!

Gloria the Hippo: Aww, you poor little baby, did that big mean lion scare you?
Mort the Mouse Lemur: Mm-hmm.
Gloria the Hippo: He did? He's a big fat old puddy-tat, isn't he?
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [gurgling and lifting arms up to be picked up]
Gloria the Hippo: Come on, mama hold you. Awww!
Melman the Giraffe: They are so cute from a reasonable distance.
Gloria the Hippo: Look at you! Aren't you the sweetest thing... aww I just wanna dunk him in my coffee!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [giggling cutely]

[Mason and Phil have just escaped]
Mason the Chimpanzee: I hear Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Center.
[Phil signs frantically]
Mason the Chimpanzee: Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him!

Alex the Lion: Be sure to visit my web site. 24-hour webcam. Watch me sleep.

Skipper the Penguin: Status.
Private the Penguin: [walking on the computer keyboard] It's no good, Skipper. I don't know the codes.
Skipper the Penguin: Don't give me excuses!
[slapping Private]
Skipper the Penguin: Give me results!
[to Kowalski]
Skipper the Penguin: Navigation!

Alex the Lion: That is your side of the island, and this is our side of the island. That is the bad side, where you can skip and prance around like a magical pixie horse, and do whatever the heck you wanna do all day long. This is the good side, for those who love New York and care about getting back.

Alex the Lion: Come on! What does Connecticut have to offer us?
Melman the Giraffe: Lyme disease.
Alex the Lion: Thank you, Melman.

Julian: If he is a King then where is his crown? I've got a crown, got a very nice one and its here on my head. Look at it. Have I got it on?

Alex the Lion: [shouts] You maniac! You burned it up! Darn you! Darn you all to heck!
Melman the Giraffe: Can we go to the fun side now?

Alex the Lion: They should call it the San Di-lame-o Zoo. First they tell you, "Hey, we got this great open plan, where animals can run wild." Next thing you know, you have flowers in your hair, and everybody's hugging everybody.

Alex the Lion: Whoa! Hold up there a second, fuzzbucket. You mean like, uh, the "live in a mud hut, wipe yourself with a leaf" type wild?
Julian: Who wipes?
Gloria the Hippo: Oy vey.
Julian: Oy vey!
Maurice: Oy vey, everybody!
[Lemurs Shout "Oy vey"]

Julian: All we have to do is wait until they are in a deep sleep...
[10-second pause]
Julian: [shouts] How long is this going to take?

Marty the Zebra: Did you ever think that there might be more to live than steak, Alex?
Alex the Lion: [to his steak] He didn't mean that, baby. No, no, no.

Mason the Chimpanzee: Wake up, you filthy monkey.

Gloria the Hippo: Don't make me come up there, I'll get the whuppin' on both of y'all.

Marty the Zebra: Alex, do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming. If a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.

Julian: [Hiding in the bushes with the other lemurs] Shhhh, we're hiding. Everyone needs to be quiet, including me... SHHHHHH! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again...

Alex the Lion: Come on! Melman, Melman, Melman! Melman, Melman, Melman! Wake up! Rise and shine! It's another fabulous day in the Big Apple. Let's go.
Melman the Giraffe: Not for me. I'm calling in sick.
Alex the Lion: What?
Melman the Giraffe: I found a bro... another brown spot on my shoulder, right here. See? Right th... right there. You see?
Alex the Lion: Melman, you know it's all in your head. Hm?

Julian: [Mort grabs Julian's foot] What did I tell you about the feet! Maurice didn't I tell him about the feet!
Maurice: He did tell you about the feet.
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [cutely] He he!

Maurice: What if Mr. Alex is even worse then the Foosa? I'm tellin' you, that dude just gives me the heebiedabajeebies!
Julian: Maurice, you did not raise your hand. Therefore, your heinous comment will be stricken from the record. Does anyone else have the heebiedibigibies? No? Good. So shut up.

Julian: How can you have the heebie-jeebies for Mr. Alex? Look at him. He's so cute. And plushy.

Marty the Zebra: [about King Julian] He's got style.
Alex the Lion: What is he, like, king of the guinea pigs?
Melman the Giraffe: I think it's a squirrel.
Julian: Welcome, giant pansies. Please feel free to bask in my glow.
Alex the Lion: Definitely a squirrel.
Melman the Giraffe: Yep, a squirrel.

Alex the Lion: Come on, look at this. you won't fine any of this in the wild. This is the kind of refined, food-type thing that you do not find in the wild.

Alex the Lion: How's the liberty fire going, Melman?
Melman the Giraffe: Great.
[in hushed voice]
Melman the Giraffe: Idiot.
Alex the Lion: I heard that.

Marty the Zebra: [whispering] It's the man!

Alex the Lion: I'm swimming back to New York! I know my chances are slim, but I have to try!
Gloria the Hippo: Alex, you can't swim!
Alex the Lion: I said my chances are slim!

Melman the Giraffe: [Melman presents Marty with a gift-wrapped thermometer]
Marty the Zebra: Aw a thermometer!Thanks!I love it Melman, I love it!
[he puts it in his mouth and poses]
Melman the Giraffe: I really wanted to give you a personal present. Do you know that was my first rectal thermometer?
Marty the Zebra: Motherf...
[Marty spits it out and retches]

Julian: After much deep and profound brain things inside my head, I have decided to thank you for bringing peace to our home. And to make you feel good, I'm going to give you this lovely parting gift.
[presents Alex with his crown]
Alex the Lion: No, I couldn't. Really, I can't take your crown.
Julian: Oh, that's OK. I've got a bigger crown. It's got a gecko on it. Look at him shake! Go, Stevie, go!

Marty the Zebra: You guys look hungry. How would you like some of nature's goodness?
Gloria the Hippo: You have food?
Marty the Zebra: One Fun Side special, coming up. Seaweed on a stick.
Alex the Lion: Seaweed?
Marty the Zebra: On a stick. Don't love it 'till you try it.

Alex the Lion: I'm gonna kill you, Marty!
Marty the Zebra: Take it easy! Take it easy!
Alex the Lion: And strangle you!
Marty the Zebra: Calm down!
Alex the Lion: Then I'm gonna bury you, then dig you up and clone you, and kill all your clones!
Marty the Zebra: 20-second time-out!
Alex the Lion: And then I'm never talking to you again!

Julian: We thank you with enormous gratitude for chasing away the foosa.
Gloria the Hippo: The who-sa?
Julian: The foosa. They are always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off.

Melman the Giraffe: Hey! Hey, you guys! That room has some nifty little sinks we can wash up in, and look!
[Takes urinal cake out of mouth]
Melman the Giraffe: Free mints!

Gloria the Hippo: Melman! Are you okay?
Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.
Alex the Lion: Melman, you're not getting an MRI.
Melman the Giraffe: CAT scan?
Alex the Lion: No! No CAT scan! It's a transfer! It's a zoo transfer!
Melman the Giraffe: Zoo transfer? Oh, no. No, no. I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at five. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care! And I am not going HMO!
Marty the Zebra: Take it easy, Melman. We are gonna be o-kizzay.
Alex the Lion: No, we're not gonna be o-kizzay! Because of you, we're ruined!

Gloria the Hippo: Okay, let's make a good impression on the people. Smiles, everyone. Let's get it together.
[to Melman]
Gloria the Hippo: Is that the best you can do, Melman?
Melman the Giraffe: Oh, I'm not smiling. It's gas.
Gloria the Hippo: Okay, well, great. Let's make gas look good.

Alex the Lion: [to Marty] You know your black and white stripes? They cancel each other out!

Alex the Lion: Shut up Spalding!

Marty the Zebra: This place is crackalacking. Oh, I could hang here. I could hang here.

Julian: Come on, time to robot!
[robot voice]
Julian: I am very clever king... tok tok tok tok... I am super genius... I am robot king of the monkey thing... compute... compute.

[on the subway, Alex roars at a guy hiding behind a newspaper]
Alex the Lion: Augh! Knicks lost again!
Melman the Giraffe: Eh. Whatcha gonna do?
Train conductor: [over PA] Grand Central Station.
Alex the Lion: Did he just say "Grand Central Station," or "My aunt's constipation"?

Gloria the Hippo: Does anyone else feel nauseous?
Melman the Giraffe: I feel nauseous.
Alex the Lion: Melman, you always feel nauseous.

Marty the Zebra: Who is it?
Alex the Lion: It's the pizza man. Who the heck do you think it is?

[singing]
Alex the Lion: Happy...
Gloria the Hippo: Birth...
Melman the Giraffe: Day...
Alex the Lion: To...
Gloria the Hippo: You...
Alex the Lion: You...
Melman the Giraffe: Live...
Gloria the Hippo: In...
Alex the Lion: A zoo...
Gloria the Hippo: You...
Melman the Giraffe: Look...
Alex the Lion: Like a monkey...
Melman the Giraffe: And...
Alex the Lion: You smell...
Gloria the Hippo: Like...
[all together]
Alex the Lion, Melman the Giraffe, Gloria the Hippo: One too!

Alex the Lion: [exhausted from running and calling all night] Marty, Melman, Gloria. Gloria, Melman, Marty. Marty, Gelman, Gloria, Marty, Melman, Morty, Morty, Gelman, Regis, Kelly. Matt, Katie, Al.

Maurice: [flatly] Presenting your royal highness, our illustrious King Julian the XIII, self-proclaimed lord of the lemurs, etc, etc, hooray, everybody.

Melman the Giraffe: Guys, we're running out of time!
Gloria the Hippo: Melman, you broke their clock?

Melman the Giraffe: Augh! Underpants!

Gloria the Hippo: Come on, we are New Yorkers, right?
Marty the Zebra: Yeah.
Gloria the Hippo: We're tough! We're gritty!
Marty the Zebra: Yeah!
Gloria the Hippo: We're adaptable!
Melman the Giraffe: Yeah!
Gloria the Hippo: And we are not gonna lay down like a bunch of Melmans!
Melman the Giraffe: No, we're not!

Alex the Lion: Ten years old, huh? A decade. Double digits. The big one-O.

Julian: [begins waving to the zoo animals on the boat] Maurice, my arm is tired, wave it for me
[Maurice begins waving Julian's arm]
Julian: Faster, you naughty little monkey!

[Maurice just told Marty that he was steak]
Marty the Zebra: Oh, c'mon! Do I look like a steak to you?
Alex the Lion: Yeah!
Marty the Zebra: See I told you I don't look like no... wait, what'd you say?

Julian: They're just a bunch of pansies.
Maurice: I don't know. There's still something about that one with the crazy hairdo that I find suspicious.
Julian: Nonsense, Maurice. Come on, everybody! Let's go and meet the pansies!

Melman the Giraffe: Nature, it's all over me GET IT OFF!

[holding up book titled, "To Serve Lemurs"]
Random Lemur: It's a cookbook! A cookbook!

Alex the Lion: Have to get an early start for tomorrow. It's Senior day. Gotta roar extra loud. Give'em a little jolt. Know what I'm talking about?

Marty the Zebra: Come on, Alex. Do you honestly think I intended all of this to happen? You want me to say I'm sorry? Is that what you want? Okay, I'm so...
Alex the Lion: Shush!
Marty the Zebra: He just shushed me.
Gloria the Hippo: Look, Alex, you have to be more understanding...
Alex the Lion: Shush!
Gloria the Hippo: Don't you shush me!
Alex the Lion: Do you hear that? Can't you hear that?

Zoo Animal: Shut up, shut up, shut up! I'm trying to sleep? Not everyone here is nocturnal, you know!
Marty the Zebra: Hey, I'll knock your turnal right off, pal!

Alex the Lion: Can't catch the cat! Cat's too quick!

Alex the Lion: Fear me! Savagery beyond comprehension!

Marty the Zebra: Here, have a drink.
Alex the Lion: [Spits it out] This is sea water!
Marty the Zebra: [Spits out his drink] Oh, you don't swallow it. This is just temporary until the plumbing comes in.

Marty the Zebra: [doing armpit farts] Yeah! You don't see that on Animal Planet.

Gloria the Hippo: Go talk to him, you know, go over and give him a little pep talk.
Alex the Lion: Hey, I gave him a snow globe! I can't beat that!

Alex the Lion: Lady! What is wrong with you? Get a grip on yourself!

Alex the Lion: You know, by the time we get back to New York, it'll be the middle of winter. So I was thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few sidestops along the way.
Marty the Zebra: How about Paris?
Gloria the Hippo: Ooh, you've read my mind.
Alex the Lion: I was thinking Spain.
Marty the Zebra: Yeah. A little running with the bulls.
Gloria the Hippo: How about Fiji?
Melman the Giraffe: Or Canada? Can't we? Cheap meds. Huh?

Marty the Zebra: Excuse me, you're biting my butt!

Gloria the Hippo: What kind of zoo is this?
Melman the Giraffe: I just saw twenty-six blatant health code violations.
Marty the Zebra: I'm loving San Diego. This place is off the chizain.
Melman the Giraffe: Twenty-seven.

Marty the Zebra: Okay! You all have your side, and I'll have mine. And, if you need me, I'll be over here! On the FUN side of the island, havin' a good ol' time. A great ol' time! A GREAT ol' time. A yabba-dabba-doo ol' time! WILMA!
Alex the Lion: That's not the fun side. THIS is the fun side! This is the fun side where we're gonna have a great time surviving until we go home! Whoo! I love this side; this side's the best! That side STINKS! You're on the JERSEY side of this cesspool!
Melman the Giraffe: Well, now what do we do?
Alex the Lion: Don't worry Melman, I have a plan to get us rescued.

Melman the Giraffe: [has dug himself a grave and written his last will and testament on the sand] And so, as I have been left to die on this forsaken island, I, Melman Mankiewicz, being of sound mind and unsound body, have divided my possessions equally among the three of you.
[a wave washes away one third of the will]
Melman the Giraffe: Oh, sorry, Alex.

Skipper the Penguin: You didn't see anything!

Skipper the Penguin: [Looking at the shipping label on their crate] Kowalski. What does it say?
Kowalski the Penguin: I can't make it out, Skipper - it's an older code.
Skipper the Penguin: Not good enough.
[Looking over at Mason the Chimpanzee]
Skipper the Penguin: You! Higher mammal. Can you read?
Mason the Chimpanzee: No, but Phil can. Phil?
[Phil the Chimpanzee begins motioning with his hands, which Mason interprets]
Mason the Chimpanzee: Ship to... Kenya Wildlife Preserve... Africa.
Skipper the Penguin: Africa! That ain't gonna fly! Rico!
[Rico begins coughing and spits up a paper clip, with which he picks the lock on the crate. The penguins then escape and take over the ship]

Alex the Lion: The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst idea I have ever heard!
Melman the Giraffe: It's unsanitary!
Marty the Zebra: The penguins are going, so why can't I?
Alex the Lion: The penguins are psychotic!

Marty the Zebra: Hey, have a drink. It's on the house.
Alex the Lion: [drinks water then spits it out] This is seawater!
Marty the Zebra: Oh, you don't swallow it.
[whispers]
Marty the Zebra: It's just temporary 'til the plumbing's done.

Alex the Lion: Well, I say we just ask these bozos where the people are.
Julian: [from the ground underneath Alex] Excuse me. We bozos have the people of course!
Melman the Giraffe: Hey, the bozos have the people.
Alex the Lion: Oh, well, great. Good. Phew!
Julian: They're up there.
[points up at skeletons dangling from tree, wearing a parachute harness]
Julian: Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch, though.
Alex the Lion: Oh... wow... so, do you have any *live* people?
Julian: Uhh... no, only dead ones.
Maurice: I mean, if we had a bunch of live people running around, it wouldn't be called the wild, would it?

Gloria the Hippo: How long do I have to pose like this?

Alex the Lion: I feel like a mile-high, pastrami on rye, on the fly from the deli in the sky!

Skipper the Penguin: Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave. Kowalski, progress report.
Kowalski the Penguin: [In a hole] We're only 500 feet from the main sewer line.
Skipper the Penguin: And the bad news?
Kowalski the Penguin: [laying a broken plastic spoon at Skipper's feet] We've broken our last shovel.
Skipper the Penguin: Right. Rico, you're on litter patrol. We need shovels, and find more Popsicle sticks. We don't want to risk another cave-in.
Private the Penguin: And me, Skipper?
Skipper the Penguin: I want you to act cute and cuddly, Private. Today we're gonna blow this dump.

Mort the Mouse Lemur: I'm steak! Me me me me me me me me!

Alex the Lion: I defy any rescue boat within a million miles to miss this baby. When the moment is right, we will ignite the beacon of liberty and be rescued from this awful nightmare!

Melman the Giraffe: Hey, Alex. Psst, Alex. Alex.
Alex the Lion: What is it, Melman?
Melman the Giraffe: OK, you know how I have to get up every two hours because of my bladder infection? Well, I get up to pee, and I was walking past Marty's pen, and usually I dont look in it, but this time I was walkin' past, and I?
Alex the Lion: What, Melman? What is it?
Melman the Giraffe: It's Marty... He's gone!
Alex the Lion: He's what?
Melman the Giraffe: [looks at hole in ground the penguins have dug] How long has he been working on this?
Melman the Giraffe: [shouts gently down hole] Marty. Marty!

Alex the Lion: Oh, great! San Diego. That means I have to compete with Shamu and his smug little grin. I can't top that! Can't top it!

Julian: Rise and shining Mr. Alex!

Skipper the Penguin: Well, boys, our monochromatic friend's in danger. Looks like we have a job to do.
[directing Private]
Skipper the Penguin: Captain's Log: Embarking into hostile environment. Kowalski! We'll need to win the hearts and the minds of the natives. Rico! We'll need special tactical equipment. We're gonna face extreme peril. Private probably won't survive.
[Private's crayon tip breaks off and he looks up in shock]

Julian: [singing] I like to move it, move it / She like to move it, move it / He like to move it, move it / You like to... *move it*!

Marty the Zebra: You're biting my butt!
Alex the Lion: [with Marty's butt in his mouth] No, I'm not.

Marty the Zebra: You the cat.
Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?
Marty the Zebra: You the cat.
Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?
Marty the Zebra: You the cat.
Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?
Marty the Zebra: You the cat.
Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?
Marty the Zebra: You the cat.
Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

Julian: How can you have the heebie jeebies for Mr. Alex? He's so cute, and plushy!

Marty the Zebra: I'll be here all week. In fact, I'll be here my entire life. 365 days a year, including Christmas, Hannukah, Halloween, Kwanzaa. Please be sure to never spay or neuter your pets, and tip your cabbie, 'cause he's broke.

[first lines]
Alex the Lion: Surprise!
Marty the Zebra: Aaahhh! Alex! Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming. When a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.

Julian: When the New York giants wake up, we must make sure they wake up in paradise.
[laugh]
Julian: Now, who'd like a cookie?

Julian: Wait! I have a plan.
Maurice: Really?
Julian: I have devised a cunning test to see whether these are savage killers.
[Julian kicks Mort out in the open]
Marty the Zebra: Hi there!
Alex the Lion: No, I will handle this. Alex handles it. Marty says nothing.
[approaches the frightened Mort]
Alex the Lion: Hi there!
[Mort starts to cry]
Alex the Lion: Oh, geez!
Melman the Giraffe: Oh, Alex. What did you do?
Alex the Lion: No, it's okay, it's okay. I'm just a silly, just a silly lion.
[Mort cries louder]
Alex the Lion: Oh, jeez!

Gloria the Hippo: It's okay! Cats always land on their... face.
[to Alex the Lion]
Gloria the Hippo: What kind of cat are you?

Gloria the Hippo: It's not people, it's animals.
Melman the Giraffe: California animals. Dude.
Marty the Zebra: This is like a Puffy party.

Alex the Lion: Don't worry, everything's under control. We just had a little situation here. Just a little internal situation. Our friend just went a little crazy. Happens to everybody. The city gets to us all. Just went a little cuckoo in the head.
Marty the Zebra: Don't you be calling me cuckoo in the head!

Julian: Can you not see you have insulted the freak?

Skipper the Penguin: We've been ratted out, boys.

[with his head stuck in a clock]
Melman the Giraffe: Guys, we're running out of time!

Julian: What is a simple bite on the butt among friends?
[shakes his tail at Maurice]
Julian: Come on, give me a nibble.

Alex the Lion: Here come the people, Marty! Oh, I love the people! It's fun people fun time!

Julian: Where are you giants from?
Alex the Lion: We're from New York.
Julian: All hail the New York Giants!

Skipper the Penguin: Hoover Damn!

Private the Penguin: [the penguins are in Antarctica and there is just a lot of wind and a big mound of snow] Well, this sucks!

Melman the Giraffe: San Diego.
Gloria the Hippo: San Diego?
Melman the Giraffe: White, sandy beaches; cleverly simulated natural environment; wide-open enclosures. I'm telling you, this could be the San Diego Zoo. Complete with fake rocks.
[Taps on a rock]
Melman the Giraffe: Wow, that looks real.

Marty the Zebra: Gonna be fresh today. Straight off the ground. Tasting fresh. Freshalicious. Ziploc fresh.

Skipper the Penguin: Africa? That ain't gonna fly!

Foosa: Foosa ooh! Foosa aah!

Alex the Lion: Giraffe! Corner pocket!

Julian: Bull's eye! Exellent shot, Maurice!