Meet Dave Quotes
A crew of miniature aliens operate a spaceship that has a human form. While trying to save their planet, the aliens encounter a new problem, as their ship becomes smitten with an Earth woman.
[in an alley outside Gina's apartment sometime after she hits Dave with her car]
Gina Morrison: Hi, are you all right? Because you just ran off!
Captain: Contact, everyone! Our first verbal encounter!
[into microphone]
Captain: Thank you for your concern.
Dave: [speaks with extremely high pitch; bottles explode in background]
Captain: It's way too high! More bass!
Dave: [speaks in extremely low pitch]
Captain: Level the frequency!
Dave: [speaking perfectly] I'm all better now.
Josh: [to Gina] How hard did you hit this guy?
Gina Morrison: Hi, are you all right? Because you just ran off!
Captain: Contact, everyone! Our first verbal encounter!
[into microphone]
Captain: Thank you for your concern.
Dave: [speaks with extremely high pitch; bottles explode in background]
Captain: It's way too high! More bass!
Dave: [speaks in extremely low pitch]
Captain: Level the frequency!
Dave: [speaking perfectly] I'm all better now.
Josh: [to Gina] How hard did you hit this guy?
Gina Morrison: So, where are you from? Do you live around here?
Dave: Yes, of course. I am just a regular person from right here on Earth, just like you. I just don't get out that much.
Gina Morrison: Yeah, judging from your suit, I'd say since about 1978.
[laughs]
Captain: Note: all-white apparel is not as standardized as we thought.
Gina Morrison: [laughing] You late for a Bee Gees concert or something?
Dave: Bee Gees. Barry, Robin and Maurice. The brothers Gibb. Winning ten Grammy Awards and selling over 100 million records.
Dave: [high-pitched, fast singing] Well, you can tell by the way I can use my walk / I'm a woman's man, no time to talk / Eh, Eh, Eh, Eh, Stayin' Alive / Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Dave: Yes, of course. I am just a regular person from right here on Earth, just like you. I just don't get out that much.
Gina Morrison: Yeah, judging from your suit, I'd say since about 1978.
[laughs]
Captain: Note: all-white apparel is not as standardized as we thought.
Gina Morrison: [laughing] You late for a Bee Gees concert or something?
Dave: Bee Gees. Barry, Robin and Maurice. The brothers Gibb. Winning ten Grammy Awards and selling over 100 million records.
Dave: [high-pitched, fast singing] Well, you can tell by the way I can use my walk / I'm a woman's man, no time to talk / Eh, Eh, Eh, Eh, Stayin' Alive / Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Gina Morrison: Dave, I feel just terrible about this whole thing...uh, and I was gonna have some breakfast. Would you like to join me?
Dave: No, I really have to be going now.
Gina Morrison: Are you sure? I mean, I sort of have a rule that when I hit somebody with my car, I need to make them breakfast!
[she laughs, Dave doesn't.]
Gina Morrison: That was a joke.
Dave: [blankly] Hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahaha ahaha ha hahahahahahahaha. Woo-hoo, woo!
Dave: No, I really have to be going now.
Gina Morrison: Are you sure? I mean, I sort of have a rule that when I hit somebody with my car, I need to make them breakfast!
[she laughs, Dave doesn't.]
Gina Morrison: That was a joke.
Dave: [blankly] Hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahaha ahaha ha hahahahahahahaha. Woo-hoo, woo!
Police Sergeant: Knox, Dooley, got a report on some kind of fireball or something like that over on Liberty Island. Check it out.
Dooley: A fireball? Ho, we'll get right on it.
Knox: Sarg, can't you get somebody else to handle it? Come on, we just pulled an all-nighter.
Police Sergeant: [sarcastically] Aw, I'm so sorry, Mr. Knox. Tell you what, lie down in my office and I'll come by with your blankie and you can get yourself a nice nap.
Dooley: A fireball? Ho, we'll get right on it.
Knox: Sarg, can't you get somebody else to handle it? Come on, we just pulled an all-nighter.
Police Sergeant: [sarcastically] Aw, I'm so sorry, Mr. Knox. Tell you what, lie down in my office and I'll come by with your blankie and you can get yourself a nice nap.
Gina Morrison: I'm Gina, by the way. Gina Morrison.
[pauses, waiting for him to tell her his name.]
Gina Morrison: And you are?
Captain: 3?
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: This is a list of the most common names on this planet.
Captain: My name is...
Dave: Ming Chang.
Gina Morrison: Ming Chang?
[laughs]
Gina Morrison: Sorry, sorry, you just struck me more like a "Dave" or something.
Dave: Which happens to be my other name.
Gina Morrison: Dave...Ming Chang?
Dave: Dave Ming Chang.
[pauses, waiting for him to tell her his name.]
Gina Morrison: And you are?
Captain: 3?
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: This is a list of the most common names on this planet.
Captain: My name is...
Dave: Ming Chang.
Gina Morrison: Ming Chang?
[laughs]
Gina Morrison: Sorry, sorry, you just struck me more like a "Dave" or something.
Dave: Which happens to be my other name.
Gina Morrison: Dave...Ming Chang?
Dave: Dave Ming Chang.
Captain: Number 3, do we have significant linguistic information to communicate with these natives?
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: Yes, I tapped into their central planetary database named "Google."
Captain: What a frivolous name for such a vital function.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: Well, if you prefer, there's another called "Ya Hoo."
Captain: Baffling!
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: Yes, I tapped into their central planetary database named "Google."
Captain: What a frivolous name for such a vital function.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: Well, if you prefer, there's another called "Ya Hoo."
Captain: Baffling!
[last lines]
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: I didn't think we'd make it out of there, Captain. Good thing you have such big feet.
Captain: We'll have much to explain when we return home.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: We'll find another way to save Nil. There are plenty of worlds out there for us to explore.
Captain: Yes, Number 3. But what we learned on Earth is more valuable than all the salt in the galaxy. And when we do return, it looks like I'll be needing a new Number 2.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: I think you'll be needing more than that.
[they kiss; the crew cheers]
Captain: Cue the new anthem.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: I didn't think we'd make it out of there, Captain. Good thing you have such big feet.
Captain: We'll have much to explain when we return home.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: We'll find another way to save Nil. There are plenty of worlds out there for us to explore.
Captain: Yes, Number 3. But what we learned on Earth is more valuable than all the salt in the galaxy. And when we do return, it looks like I'll be needing a new Number 2.
No. 3 - Cultural Officer: I think you'll be needing more than that.
[they kiss; the crew cheers]
Captain: Cue the new anthem.
