Meet the Spartans

Meet the Spartans Quotes

The heroic Spartan king Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag bunch of 13 Spartan misfit warriors to defend their homeland against thousands of ... See full summary »

Captain: I'm gonna go Hercules on your ass!
Urban Girl: Yo mama's so fat, her pant size is, um, um, um... Bitch, lose some weight!
Messenger: [Leonidas has kissed the Persian's messenger on the mouth] What the hell was that?
Leonidas: What?
Messenger: You just kissed me!
Leonidas: That is how men great each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women
[high-fives Margo]
Leonidas: and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men!
Leonidas: [picks up subway sandwich] No mayo? This is bullshit!
Traitoro: Stop kicking people into the pit of death! Really!
Sanjaya Malakar: [as he is falling into the Pit of Death] I'm not gaaaay!
Xerxes: I tell you kid, you got balls. I come over here with a big army, we're goin' to shish kebab your ass.
Captain: [as Leonidas is beating up his son] I remember when my father used to beat me.
Queen Margo: Rites of Passage?
Captain: No, my father was an alcoholic.
Leonidas: I'm assembling an army to go to war with Persia. I'm going to take them in the rear... and then I'm gonna reach around, and I'm gonna take them again from the front!
Queen Margo: Come back with your shield or on it.
Leonidas: If I come back on it, I want you to move on.
Queen Margo: I would never do such thing!
Leonidas: Well, hell, if you died, I'd play the field! To be honest, I always wanted to do a fat chick.
Xerxes: [Xerxes finds the Allspark, gets into his car and it starts transforming. Soon he is a huge robot with a Flatscreen across his chest and red glowing eyes] I am Xerxes-tron! I am enhanced with strange Alien Technology!
[He turns the Flatscreen on and the Youtube logo appears]
Chris Crocker: Leave Britney alone! Leave her alone!
Leonidas: He truly is a God-King...
Chris Crocker: She's human!
Leonidas: Let us talk next to the giant pit of death.
Messenger: [casually] Okay.
Rambo: When you're pushed, killing's as easy as... dancing.
[starts dancing]
Leonidas: We may have won the battle, But they will win the war!
Other 12 Spartans: Aaah... What?
Leonidas: Catch your breath. Vanilla blended. What is it boy?
Sonio: The Persians have found the secret passage through the hot gates.
Leonidas: Ah shit!
Paris Hilton: I'm a Hilton, I don't bow... but I do bend over.
Leonidas: As long as Xerxes doesn't find the secret path to the Hot Gates... their vast numbers won't count for shit!
Queen Margo: How do you like me now, Sandman!
Leonidas: Adjust your sword boy, it's digging into my back.
Sonio: But I'm not wearing my sword.
Leonidas: [pause] Carry on then.
Leonidas: The Oracle also said our painted on abs look fake!
Leonidas: Yes, well, that may be the case, but your mama's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookie!

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