Melinda and Melinda

Melinda and Melinda Quotes

Two alternating stories about Melinda's (Mitchell) attempts to straighten out her life.

Susan: I wish we could afford a place in the Hamptons. Everybody who's anybody has one.
Hobie: Yeah, but if you're somebody who's nobody, it's no fun to be around anybody who's everybody.
Melinda: Why do things that start off so promisingly always have a way of ending up in the dump?
Ellis Moonsong:
Melinda:
Walt Wagner: Maybe you should go back to your shrink... Discuss it.
Hobie: He just recommended Prozac. I think he has stock in the company, honestly.
Greg: What do you do for exercise?
Hobie: Tiddly winks. And an occasional anxiety attack.
Hobie: What? What's going on? Wait, all? we used to make love all the time and now, there's always an excuse.
Susan: I told you, I'm going through an emotionally difficult time creatively.
Hobie: You feel like we don't communicate anymore?
Susan: Of course we communicate. Now can we not talk about it anymore?
Susan: You look a little carsick.
Hobie: Why, 'cause I'm the color of guacamole?
Melinda: I was just rubbing this lamp hoping to change my life.
Ellis Moonsong: Well, I believe in magic. In the end I think it's the only thing that can save us.
Hobie: They still talk about my portrayal of King Lear. I played it with a limp.
Laurel: Melinda had a reputation for being Postmodern in bed.
Hobie: So, I have to ask you, how'd you go from living on the Upper East Side to St. Louis?
Melinda: I moved there for him. He was gorgeous. He was talented, he was sexy, he was a doctor, he was charming...
Hobie: Yes, but where's the attraction?
Melinda: He just knew how to touch me.
Hobie: You mean emotionally?
Melinda: No, with his hands.
Hobie: I think it'd be only fair to tell you. I'm a Liberal.
Stacey: Oh. Are you talking politically, or in the bedroom?
Hobie: I was talking politically. In the bedroom I'm a left-wing Liberal.
Laurel: Melissa had a reputation of being post-modern in bed.
Melinda: I'm an art historian... at least that's what I majored in at Brandeis.
Lee: Life has a malicious way of dealing with great potential.
Melinda: [Dejected, having doscovered her boyfriend has been sleeping with her best friend] I loved you.
Ellis Moonsong: I don't have a satisfactory explanation. You know these things happen. Living is messy.
Ellis Moonsong: What do you want?
Melinda: I want to live.
Sy: The essence of life isn't tragic; it's comic.
Lee: It's who you know, Laurel. Life is all networking!
Hobie: I had no idea a Republican could be that sexy.
Susan: Isn't he charming, and don't tell me he's not gorgeous!
Hobie: If you like perfect features.
Melinda: You're the piano player.
Ellis Moonsong: Not any more. I'm on a break. A mysterious stranger has, uh, temporarily taken over, and I must say she plays beautifully. Hey, are your eyes misting over?
Melinda: The song... it's meaningful to me. It was playing the night I met someone.
Ellis Moonsong: So, are they tears of sorrow or tears of joy?
Melinda: Well, aren't they the same tears?
Ellis Moonsong: Yeah.
Melinda: [Melinda wants to fix Hobie up with someone] What does she do?
Billy Wheeler: Investment counseling.
Hobie: One of those business suits who makes love to you on a conference call.
Susan: Try it, Hobie, it's good manners.
Hobie: Since when do I have good manners?
Melinda: Uh I've been having a bad time so I just took some sleeping pills.
Hobie: Sleeping pills? How many?
Melinda: Uh... twenty-eight.
Susan: Oh my god, Hobie make some black coffee.
Melinda: No, I'm allergic to coffee, but do you have any vodka?
Hobie: Did I tell you I played Uncle Vanya once? With a limp. It was interesting.
Hobie: She's gorgeous. Hard to believe a Republican could be that sexual.

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