Midnight Cowboy Quotes
A naive hustler goes to New York to seek personal fortune but in the process finds himself a new friend.
Gretel McAlbertson: Why are you stealing food?
Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you're out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back.
Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it's free. You don't have to steal it.
Ratso Rizzo: Well, if it's free, then I ain't stealin'.
Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you're out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back.
Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it's free. You don't have to steal it.
Ratso Rizzo: Well, if it's free, then I ain't stealin'.
Ratso Rizzo: Here I am, goin' to Florida, my leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, my face hurts, and like that ain't enough, I gotta pee all over myself.
[Joe Buck laughs]
Ratso Rizzo: That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here!
Joe Buck: It's just - Know what happened? You just took a little rest stop that wasn't on the schedule!
[Joe Buck laughs]
Ratso Rizzo: That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here!
Joe Buck: It's just - Know what happened? You just took a little rest stop that wasn't on the schedule!
Joe Buck: I like the way I look. Makes me feel good, it does. And women like me, goddammit. Hell, the only one thing I ever been good for is lovin'. Women go crazy for me, that's a really true fact! Ratso, hell! Crazy Annie they had to send her away!
Ratso Rizzo: Then, how come you ain't scored once the whole time you been in New York?
Ratso Rizzo: Then, how come you ain't scored once the whole time you been in New York?
Cass: [Cass is on the phone while Joe Buck is foreplaying with her] Oh God... Nothing, I'm talking to Baby. I'm talking to the dog, Maury... please, you're annoying me! Here, why don't you say hello to Baby?
[She puts the phone near her toy poodle's ear]
Maury (voice on phone): Hello, Baby. Hello, Baby! Hello, ya goddamn dog! Bow wow wow! Bow wow wow!
[She puts the phone near her toy poodle's ear]
Maury (voice on phone): Hello, Baby. Hello, Baby! Hello, ya goddamn dog! Bow wow wow! Bow wow wow!
Joe Buck: [Rizzo polishes Joe's boots] Hey, you pretty damn good at that. I'll bet you could make a living at it if you tried.
Ratso Rizzo: And end up a hunchback like my old man? You think I'm crippled, you should have caught him at the end of the day. My old man spent 14 hours a day down in that subway. He come home at night - 2,3 dollars worth of change stained with shoe polish. Stupid bastard coughed his lungs out from breathing in that wax all day. Even a faggot undertaker couldn't get his nails clean. They had to bury him with gloves on.
Ratso Rizzo: And end up a hunchback like my old man? You think I'm crippled, you should have caught him at the end of the day. My old man spent 14 hours a day down in that subway. He come home at night - 2,3 dollars worth of change stained with shoe polish. Stupid bastard coughed his lungs out from breathing in that wax all day. Even a faggot undertaker couldn't get his nails clean. They had to bury him with gloves on.
Jackie - New York: I just want to ask you one thing, cowboy. If you're sitting here, and he's sitting all the way over there, then how's he gonna get his hand into your pocket? Oh, but I guess he has that all figured out. 'Night, toots.
[walks away]
Ratso Rizzo: Faggot!
Jackie - New York: [offscreen] Provolone!
Ratso Rizzo: Faggot!
[walks away]
Ratso Rizzo: Faggot!
Jackie - New York: [offscreen] Provolone!
Ratso Rizzo: Faggot!
Ratso Rizzo: I gotta get outta here, gotta get outta here. Miami Beach, that's where you could score. Anybody can score there, even you. In New York, no rich lady with any class at all buys that cowboy crap anymore. They're laughin' at you on the street.
Joe Buck: Ain't nobody laughin' at me on the street.
Ratso Rizzo: Behind your back, I've seen 'em laughin' at you, fella.
Joe Buck: Aw, what the hell you know about women anyway? When's the last time you scored, boy?
Ratso Rizzo: That's a matter I only talk about at confession. We're not talkin' about me now.
Joe Buck: And when's the last time you've been to confession?
Ratso Rizzo: It's between me and my confessor. And I'll tell ya another thing. Frankly, you're beginning to smell. And for a stud in New York, that's a handicap.
Joe Buck: Well, don't talk to me about clean. I ain't never seen you change your underwear once the whole time I've been here in New York. And that's pretty peculiar behavior.
Ratso Rizzo: I don't have to do that kind of thing in public. I ain't got no need to expose myself.
Joe Buck: [cruelly] No, I bet you don't. I bet you ain't never even been laid! How about that? And you're gonna tell me what appeals to women!
Ratso Rizzo: I know enough to know that that great big, dumb cowboy crap of yours don't appeal to nobody except every jockey on 42nd Street. That's faggot stuff! You wanna call it by its name? That's strictly for fags!
Joe Buck: John Wayne! You wanna tell me he's a fag?
[after a long pause]
Joe Buck: I like the way I look. It makes me feel good. It does. And women like me, god-dammit. Hell, only one thing I've ever been good for is lovin'. Women go crazy for me. That's a really true fact. Ratso, hell: Crazy Annie, they had to send her away.
Ratso Rizzo: Then how come you ain't scored once, the whole time you've been in New York?
Joe Buck: 'Cause, 'cause I need management, god-dammit. 'Cause you stole twenty dollars offa me. That's why you're gonna stop crappin' around about Florida. And, and get your skinny butt movin.' And earn twenty dollars worth of management which you owe me.
Joe Buck: Ain't nobody laughin' at me on the street.
Ratso Rizzo: Behind your back, I've seen 'em laughin' at you, fella.
Joe Buck: Aw, what the hell you know about women anyway? When's the last time you scored, boy?
Ratso Rizzo: That's a matter I only talk about at confession. We're not talkin' about me now.
Joe Buck: And when's the last time you've been to confession?
Ratso Rizzo: It's between me and my confessor. And I'll tell ya another thing. Frankly, you're beginning to smell. And for a stud in New York, that's a handicap.
Joe Buck: Well, don't talk to me about clean. I ain't never seen you change your underwear once the whole time I've been here in New York. And that's pretty peculiar behavior.
Ratso Rizzo: I don't have to do that kind of thing in public. I ain't got no need to expose myself.
Joe Buck: [cruelly] No, I bet you don't. I bet you ain't never even been laid! How about that? And you're gonna tell me what appeals to women!
Ratso Rizzo: I know enough to know that that great big, dumb cowboy crap of yours don't appeal to nobody except every jockey on 42nd Street. That's faggot stuff! You wanna call it by its name? That's strictly for fags!
Joe Buck: John Wayne! You wanna tell me he's a fag?
[after a long pause]
Joe Buck: I like the way I look. It makes me feel good. It does. And women like me, god-dammit. Hell, only one thing I've ever been good for is lovin'. Women go crazy for me. That's a really true fact. Ratso, hell: Crazy Annie, they had to send her away.
Ratso Rizzo: Then how come you ain't scored once, the whole time you've been in New York?
Joe Buck: 'Cause, 'cause I need management, god-dammit. 'Cause you stole twenty dollars offa me. That's why you're gonna stop crappin' around about Florida. And, and get your skinny butt movin.' And earn twenty dollars worth of management which you owe me.
