Mrs Henderson Presents Quotes
Laura Henderson buys an old London theater and opens it up as the Windmill, a performance hall which goes down in history for, among other things, its all-nude revues.
Laura Henderson: [at Mrs. Henderson's husband's funeral] I'm bored with widowhood.
Lady Conway: My dear, you've just scratched the surface.
Laura Henderson: I have to smile at everybody. I've never had to smile at everybody. In India, there were always people to look down on.
Lady Conway: People are merely being sympathetic. After all, you have lost your husband.
Laura Henderson: Well I didn't mislay him! It was most inconsiderate of Robert to die. What on earth am I supposed to do now?
Lady Conway: My dear, you've just scratched the surface.
Laura Henderson: I have to smile at everybody. I've never had to smile at everybody. In India, there were always people to look down on.
Lady Conway: People are merely being sympathetic. After all, you have lost your husband.
Laura Henderson: Well I didn't mislay him! It was most inconsiderate of Robert to die. What on earth am I supposed to do now?
[talking to the girls]
Lady Conway: I quite understand what you were feeling. I myself have exhibited my breasts. I was at a party at Antibes with the Duchess of Denby and Countess Volpe, and we took off our blouses - in private, of course - and looked at each other's titties.
[laughs]
Lady Conway: My, how we laughed!
Lady Conway: I quite understand what you were feeling. I myself have exhibited my breasts. I was at a party at Antibes with the Duchess of Denby and Countess Volpe, and we took off our blouses - in private, of course - and looked at each other's titties.
[laughs]
Lady Conway: My, how we laughed!
Lady Conway: It's really not so bad. Widows are allowed hobbies.
Laura Henderson: Hobbies?
Lady Conway: Yes. Embroidery, things like that.
Laura Henderson: Are you mad?
Lady Conway: I've graduated to weaving. Would you care to see my tapestries?
Laura Henderson: I'd rather drink ink.
Lady Conway: Committees are good of course. I serve on quite a few charities. Once your husband dies, it's quite permissible to help the poor. And now, there's no one to stop you buying things. Also, of course, there's a great deal of time for lovers.
Laura Henderson: Margot, I'm nearly 70!
Lady Conway: That's true, but you're also very rich. The one cancels out the other.
Laura Henderson: Hobbies?
Lady Conway: Yes. Embroidery, things like that.
Laura Henderson: Are you mad?
Lady Conway: I've graduated to weaving. Would you care to see my tapestries?
Laura Henderson: I'd rather drink ink.
Lady Conway: Committees are good of course. I serve on quite a few charities. Once your husband dies, it's quite permissible to help the poor. And now, there's no one to stop you buying things. Also, of course, there's a great deal of time for lovers.
Laura Henderson: Margot, I'm nearly 70!
Lady Conway: That's true, but you're also very rich. The one cancels out the other.
Laura Henderson: Who on earth are you?
Leslie Pearkes: This is Vivian Van Damm.
Laura Henderson: Don't be silly. That's not a British name.
Vivian Van Damm: In actual fact, my father's a lawyer in Bishopsgate, although some of his ancestors are from Holland.
Laura Henderson: Oh, dear God, you're Jewish!
Vivian Van Damm: As it happens, I'm not.
Laura Henderson: Well, of course you are, dear. Just look at yourself.
Leslie Pearkes: This is Vivian Van Damm.
Laura Henderson: Don't be silly. That's not a British name.
Vivian Van Damm: In actual fact, my father's a lawyer in Bishopsgate, although some of his ancestors are from Holland.
Laura Henderson: Oh, dear God, you're Jewish!
Vivian Van Damm: As it happens, I'm not.
Laura Henderson: Well, of course you are, dear. Just look at yourself.
Lord Cromer: Now what about, forgive me, the foliage?
Laura Henderson: Foliage?
Lord Cromer: You know, beneath the...
Laura Henderson: Beneath what? Try the Brie.
Lord Cromer: Thank you. Beneath the...
Laura Henderson: I had it flown in from France.
Lord Cromer: Excellent. The foliage beneath the...
Laura Henderson: My husband was very fond of it.
Lord Cromer: Of what?
Laura Henderson: This particular cheese.
Lord Cromer: My dear, I'm attempting to address the disagreeable and somewhat sordid topic of the pudendum.
Laura Henderson: What on earth is that?
Lord Cromer: Good heavens, woman!
Laura Henderson: Do have some more wine.
Lord Cromer: The female part.
Laura Henderson: Oh, the pussy!
Lord Cromer: [Gasps]
Laura Henderson: Why didn't you say?
Lord Cromer: I had not expected you, of all people, to use such language.
Laura Henderson: That word was rather popular in the mid-nineteenth century. Not everyone speaks Latin, you know.
Lord Cromer: Then I'd prefer you refer to it as 'the midlands'.
Laura Henderson: Oh dear, you men do get into such a state about 'the midlands', don't you? Well you needn't worry. Our lighting will be so subtle; the disputed area will be barely visible.
[as Lord Cromer drinks his wine]
Laura Henderson: And anyway, we'll have a barber.
Lord Cromer: [spits out wine and Mrs Henderson laughs]
Laura Henderson: Foliage?
Lord Cromer: You know, beneath the...
Laura Henderson: Beneath what? Try the Brie.
Lord Cromer: Thank you. Beneath the...
Laura Henderson: I had it flown in from France.
Lord Cromer: Excellent. The foliage beneath the...
Laura Henderson: My husband was very fond of it.
Lord Cromer: Of what?
Laura Henderson: This particular cheese.
Lord Cromer: My dear, I'm attempting to address the disagreeable and somewhat sordid topic of the pudendum.
Laura Henderson: What on earth is that?
Lord Cromer: Good heavens, woman!
Laura Henderson: Do have some more wine.
Lord Cromer: The female part.
Laura Henderson: Oh, the pussy!
Lord Cromer: [Gasps]
Laura Henderson: Why didn't you say?
Lord Cromer: I had not expected you, of all people, to use such language.
Laura Henderson: That word was rather popular in the mid-nineteenth century. Not everyone speaks Latin, you know.
Lord Cromer: Then I'd prefer you refer to it as 'the midlands'.
Laura Henderson: Oh dear, you men do get into such a state about 'the midlands', don't you? Well you needn't worry. Our lighting will be so subtle; the disputed area will be barely visible.
[as Lord Cromer drinks his wine]
Laura Henderson: And anyway, we'll have a barber.
Lord Cromer: [spits out wine and Mrs Henderson laughs]
