My Fellow Americans Quotes
Two former U. S. Presidents, hated rivals, join forces to expose the current, corrupt President at the risk of their lives.
Matt Douglas: A cookbook. He wrote a cookbook. How dare he?
Joanna: Well, you know, when he was President, he did cook for his guests all the time.
Matt Douglas: That's not the point. Did George Washington write a book called "Your Wooden Teeth and You?" Did William Howard Taft write "Thirty Days To A Slimmer Ass?" It's shameful, just shameful.
Joanna: Well, you know, when he was President, he did cook for his guests all the time.
Matt Douglas: That's not the point. Did George Washington write a book called "Your Wooden Teeth and You?" Did William Howard Taft write "Thirty Days To A Slimmer Ass?" It's shameful, just shameful.
Matt Douglas: Look, Joanna, if the book goes, if it doesn't go, I don't really care. I'm only writing it 'cause, frankly, I don't know what else to do.
Joanna: I'm sure you've got plenty of options.
Matt Douglas: Not really. But I'll tell you one thing, I'll never be like Kramer, running around the country sucking up every dime that isn't nailed down. Now Jimmy Carter, there's a class act. He goes around building homes for poor people with his own hands. That's classy.
Joanna: Well, you could do that.
Matt Douglas: Yeah, yeah. Maybe in a couple of years, but, uh, right now, my attitude is, they didn't vote for me, let 'em freeze.
Joanna: I'm sure you've got plenty of options.
Matt Douglas: Not really. But I'll tell you one thing, I'll never be like Kramer, running around the country sucking up every dime that isn't nailed down. Now Jimmy Carter, there's a class act. He goes around building homes for poor people with his own hands. That's classy.
Joanna: Well, you could do that.
Matt Douglas: Yeah, yeah. Maybe in a couple of years, but, uh, right now, my attitude is, they didn't vote for me, let 'em freeze.
Matt Douglas: That went a little too easy. You guys are getting soft.
Greg: Mr. President, once again, we really wish you wouldn't do that. You put yourself at great risk, sir.
Matt Douglas: Oh, yeah, right. Let me ask you something. In all the years ex-presidents have had Secret Service protection, has there ever been even one assassination attempt on any of 'em?
Chet: Uh, no, sir.
Matt Douglas: I find that sad. The minute you're out of office they don't care enough about you to kill you anymore. People are FICKLE.
Greg: Mr. President, once again, we really wish you wouldn't do that. You put yourself at great risk, sir.
Matt Douglas: Oh, yeah, right. Let me ask you something. In all the years ex-presidents have had Secret Service protection, has there ever been even one assassination attempt on any of 'em?
Chet: Uh, no, sir.
Matt Douglas: I find that sad. The minute you're out of office they don't care enough about you to kill you anymore. People are FICKLE.
Vice President Ted Matthews: I'm so sorry, and I'm so embarrassed. I hope this doesn't scare you away from golf... Because it's such a great sport! I-I know your people... the black people, don't really enjoy the game, but I think that's because you can't get into the nice clubs! The restricted ones. And on the other hand, your people are so good at so many sports, that maybe it's good that we white folks have a sport that you people are not so good at!
Secret Service Agent for Ted Matthews: Mr. Vice President, come with me.
Vice President Ted Matthews: Why? Is there a problem?
Secret Service Agent for Ted Matthews: There will be if you don't come with me.
Secret Service Agent for Ted Matthews: Mr. Vice President, come with me.
Vice President Ted Matthews: Why? Is there a problem?
Secret Service Agent for Ted Matthews: There will be if you don't come with me.
Matt Douglas: Well, I don't think you had anything to do with Charlie's death, but I'm pretty sure you're involved in this mess somehow.
Russell Kramer: I'm involved? But, what about you? You were the one sittin' in the car next to a dead man.
Matt Douglas: Well, now you know. I enjoy spending time with dead men. You don't believe me? Go ahead and die. It'll perk me right up.
Russell Kramer: I'm involved? But, what about you? You were the one sittin' in the car next to a dead man.
Matt Douglas: Well, now you know. I enjoy spending time with dead men. You don't believe me? Go ahead and die. It'll perk me right up.
Russell Kramer: Did you ever have one of her pizzas?
Matt Douglas: Oh.
Russell Kramer: It was like a wet dream with a crust.
Matt Douglas: A wet dream?
Russell Kramer: Huh?
Matt Douglas: I don't think I need to hear Russell P. Kramer saying the words "wet dream." I'll wake up screaming every night 'til I die.
Matt Douglas: Oh.
Russell Kramer: It was like a wet dream with a crust.
Matt Douglas: A wet dream?
Russell Kramer: Huh?
Matt Douglas: I don't think I need to hear Russell P. Kramer saying the words "wet dream." I'll wake up screaming every night 'til I die.
[first lines]
Edwin Newman: It has been described as one of the most vicious presidential races in the history of American politics, and one of the closest. The Republican nominee, Senator Russell P Kramer of Ohio, is practically dead even in the polls with his bitter rival, Democratic Governor Matt Douglas of Indiana. To say there is no love lost between these two candidates is a gross understatement. And yet tonight, in spite of their almost overwhelming distaste for each other, one of these men will have to salute the other as the next president of the United States.
Edwin Newman: It has been described as one of the most vicious presidential races in the history of American politics, and one of the closest. The Republican nominee, Senator Russell P Kramer of Ohio, is practically dead even in the polls with his bitter rival, Democratic Governor Matt Douglas of Indiana. To say there is no love lost between these two candidates is a gross understatement. And yet tonight, in spite of their almost overwhelming distaste for each other, one of these men will have to salute the other as the next president of the United States.
Matt Douglas: [Presidents Douglas and Kramer lead a White House tour as fast as possible in order to get to the Oval Office in time] Okay, this is the Green Room...
Russell Kramer: [No pause] It's green.
Matt Douglas: [No pause] And its a room.
Russell Kramer: [No pause] Hence its name.
Matt Douglas: [No pause] Any questions?
Russell Kramer: [No pause] None from me.
Matt Douglas: [No pause, both Presidents start to move on down the hall] Okay, then shall we?
Russell Kramer: [No pause] It's green.
Matt Douglas: [No pause] And its a room.
Russell Kramer: [No pause] Hence its name.
Matt Douglas: [No pause] Any questions?
Russell Kramer: [No pause] None from me.
Matt Douglas: [No pause, both Presidents start to move on down the hall] Okay, then shall we?
Matt Douglas: [Picks up talking President Kramer doll at the Kramer Library gift shop] Oh, you gotta be kidding me
Russell Kramer: [Kramer's voice after Douglas pulls the doll's string] "Our dreams are like our children."
Russell Kramer: Ah,huh?
Russell Kramer: [Kramer's voice after Douglas pulls the doll's string again] "Don't you fall into the trap. Democrats are full of crap."
Russell Kramer: Anything you like I can get for you at cost.
Matt Douglas: [Drops the doll] I feel dirty.
Russell Kramer: [Kramer's voice after Douglas pulls the doll's string] "Our dreams are like our children."
Russell Kramer: Ah,huh?
Russell Kramer: [Kramer's voice after Douglas pulls the doll's string again] "Don't you fall into the trap. Democrats are full of crap."
Russell Kramer: Anything you like I can get for you at cost.
Matt Douglas: [Drops the doll] I feel dirty.
