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A young girl, on the threshold of her teen years, finds her life turning upside down, when she is accompanied by an unlikely friend.
Vada: Weeping willow with your tears running down, why do you always weep and frown? Is it because he left you one day? is it because he could not stay? On your branches he would swing, do you long for the happiness that day would bring? He found shelter in your shade. You thought his laughter would never fade. Weeping willow, stop your tears. There is something to calm you fears. You think death has ripped you forever apart. But I know he'll always be in your heart.
Vada: [after Vada and Thomas kiss] Say something, it's too quiet. Thomas J. Sennett: Umm, Ummmmm... Vada: [agitated] Just hurry. Thomas J. Sennett: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America... Vada, Thomas J. Sennett: ...And to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Vada Sultenfuss: [to Thomas J., after getting her first period] Get outta here! And don't come back for five to seven days!
Vada: Where are his glasses? He can't see without his glasses!
Shelly: She won't come out. It's been a whole day. You have to do something, Harry. Harry: The funeral's starting. Shelly: Open your eyes, she's eleven years old! Her only friend in the world is dead. Harry: I know that, but what do you want from me? Shelly: Stop hiding, Harry! You run, Harry. When I first came here, the idea of working with dead people didn't exactly thrill me. When I saw a family that lived here, I thought, if I'm living without a family, at least I can work with one and maybe, once in a while, be invited in for supper. Harry: Yeah... and when those suppers are disrupted because there's a car crash, or there's a fire, or a little boy steps on a beehive... Shelly: I'm not asking you to stop caring for those people. But life isn't just death, Harry. Don't ignore the living, especially your daughter.
Thomas J. Sennett: Vada? Vada Sultenfuss: Yeah? Thomas J. Sennett: Would you think of me? Vada Sultenfuss: For what? Thomas J. Sennett: Well, if you don't get to marry Mr. Bixler. Vada Sultenfuss: I guess.
[first lines] Vada Sultenfuss: I was born jaundiced. Once I sat on a toilet seat at a truck stop and caught hemorrhoids. And I've learned to live with this chicken bone that's been lodged in my throat for the past three years. So I knew Dad would be devastated when he learned of my latest affliction. [to Harry] Vada Sultenfuss: Dad, I don't want to upset you, but my left breast is developing at a significantly faster rate than my right. It can only mean one thing: cancer. I'm dying. Harry: [making a sandwich] Okay, sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of the fridge.
Vada: Mrs. Sennett, don't worry, Thomas J. will be all right. My mother will take care of him.
Vada Sultenfuss: My fears and secrets: I'm afraid I killed my mother.
Justin: Feel my aura. Vada Sultenfuss: I don't think I'm allowed to.
Vada: I used to like to play with my Ken and Barbie dolls. Ken was my favorite. Then one Christmas I got them a camper and all they wanted to do was hang out in it by themselves. So I wasn't too upset when they took that wrong turn and went over the cliff.
Shelly: They're dead. All they have are their looks.
Shelly: The first rule of eye makeup is that you can never wear enough blue eye shadow.
Thomas J. Sennett: What do you think it's like? Vada Sultenfuss: What? Thomas J. Sennett: Heaven. Vada Sultenfuss: I think... everybody gets their own white horse and all they do is ride them and eat marshmallows all day. And everybody's best friends with everybody else. When you play sports, there's no teams, so nobody gets picked last. Thomas J. Sennett: But what if you're afraid to ride horses? Vada Sultenfuss: Doesn't matter 'cause they're not regular horses. They've got wings. And it's no big deal if you fall 'cause you'll just land in a cloud.
Vada: Pacifist! Thomas J. Sennett: Am not! Vada: Bedwetter! Thomas J. Sennett: I stopped that!
Vada: Why do you think people want to get married? Thomas J. Sennett: When you get older, you just have to. Vada: I'm gonna marry Mr. Bixler. Thomas J. Sennett: You can't marry a teacher, it's against the law. Vada: It is not. Thomas J. Sennett: Yes, it is 'cuz then he'll give you all A's and it won't be fair. Vada: Not true. Vada: Have you ever kissed anyone? Thomas J. Sennett: Like they do on TV? Vada: Hm-mm. Thomas J. Sennett: No. Vada: Well maybe we should, just to see what's the big deal.
Vada: Daddy, how come this coffin's so small? Harry: They come in all sizes, honey, like shoes. Vada: Is it for a child? Harry: Of course not! Vada: Then for who is it? Harry: Short people. Very short people.
Thomas J. Sennett: So, what'd he say was wrong with you? Vada: This whole medical profession is a crock.
Shelly DeVoto: This is Phil, Harry, Gramoo, and Vada Sultenfuss. Danny: Vada Sultenfuss? Tough break. Vada Sultenfuss: I like my name.
Vada: [Vada is locked in the basement] Let me out of here. Let me out of here. [blocks ears with her hands] Vada: There she was just a walking down the street singing Do Wah Diddy Diddy.
Vada: 'Ode to Ice Cream' by Vada Sultenfuss. I like ice cream a whole lot/It tastes good on days that are hot/On a cone or in a dish/This will be my only wish/Vanilla, chocolate, rocky road/Even with pie, a la mode.
Thomas J. Sennett: I'm gonna drive us to Liverpool. Shelly: Liverpool? Vada: Big Ringo fan.
Vada: Arthur! Arthur: Vada! Vada: I beat Thomas J in Monopoly yesterday. Arthur: Good for you, baby. Vada: Once you put the hotels on Board Walk and Park Place you're a shoe in for the win. Arthur: I like to buy off all the railroads.
Shelly: You know, Vada, you have to watch what you eat at the carnival. I remember one summer I went with my two older cousins, and they both ate hot dogs, and the next day they had nephritis. Vada: Nephritis is a kidney disease, you don't get it from eating hot dogs. Shelly: Well I'm no doctor, all I know is the next morning when they woke up, they had real high temperatures and their faces got really fat.