My Stepmother Is an Alien Quotes
An alien is sent on a secret mission to Earth, where she appears as a gorgeous, attractive, and single lady. Her mission is to make contact with a rather nerdy young scientist, who's quite ... See full summary »
[Celeste consults with the alien council]
Celeste Martin: The subject says he will be unable to think about science unless he marries me.
Council Chief: Well, marry him.
Celeste Martin: But we don't know what "marry" is.
Council Chief: One moment.
[the second council member takes a book. He and the council chief leaf through it until they find the page about marriage]
Council Chief: Ah, yes. The Monchine Forty says marriage is this: he goes off to fight the Turks, and you put on a lock.
[Celeste is confused]
Second in Command: No, no, no.
[they leaf more pages]
Council Chief: Oh, yes, yes. Wrong century. Eh... marriage is this: you cook and clean and bring him martinies.
Second in Command: No, no!
Council Chief: Wrong again? Ridiculous...
[they leaf more pages]
Council Chief: Yes. Wrong decade. Too old-fashioned. Ah, here we are, yes. The modren marriage: there are no rules or responsibilities, but if he does something wrong, you can set him on fire while he sleeps and go on a talk show, where everyone will forgive you and love you. There is only one drawback: you will have to have more sex.
Celeste Martin: [excitedly] I'll do it!
Celeste Martin: The subject says he will be unable to think about science unless he marries me.
Council Chief: Well, marry him.
Celeste Martin: But we don't know what "marry" is.
Council Chief: One moment.
[the second council member takes a book. He and the council chief leaf through it until they find the page about marriage]
Council Chief: Ah, yes. The Monchine Forty says marriage is this: he goes off to fight the Turks, and you put on a lock.
[Celeste is confused]
Second in Command: No, no, no.
[they leaf more pages]
Council Chief: Oh, yes, yes. Wrong century. Eh... marriage is this: you cook and clean and bring him martinies.
Second in Command: No, no!
Council Chief: Wrong again? Ridiculous...
[they leaf more pages]
Council Chief: Yes. Wrong decade. Too old-fashioned. Ah, here we are, yes. The modren marriage: there are no rules or responsibilities, but if he does something wrong, you can set him on fire while he sleeps and go on a talk show, where everyone will forgive you and love you. There is only one drawback: you will have to have more sex.
Celeste Martin: [excitedly] I'll do it!
