Mystery Men Quotes
A group of inept amateur superheroes must try to save the day when a supervillian threatens to destroy a major superhero and the city.
Mr. Furious: Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? "If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right." It's...
The Sphinx: Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage...
Mr. Furious: ...your rage will become your master? That's what you were going to say. Right? Right?
The Sphinx: Not necessarily.
The Sphinx: Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage...
Mr. Furious: ...your rage will become your master? That's what you were going to say. Right? Right?
The Sphinx: Not necessarily.
[Mr. Furious tries to balance a hammer on his head]
Mr. Furious: Why am I doing this, again?
The Sphinx: When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
Mr. Furious: And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?
The Sphinx: [looks at the watermelon on Mr. Furious' feet] I don't remember telling you to do that.
Mr. Furious: Why am I doing this, again?
The Sphinx: When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
Mr. Furious: And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?
The Sphinx: [looks at the watermelon on Mr. Furious' feet] I don't remember telling you to do that.
Blue Raja's mother: [the Blue Raja's mom walks in on him, in full costume, rummaging through her silverware drawer] Jeffrey, what are you doing?
The Blue Raja: Um, I was just, um, uh, um, I'm, uh...
[shifts to British accent]
The Blue Raja: I'm a superhero, mother.
Blue Raja's mother: A superhero?
The Blue Raja: An effete British superhero, to be precise. I am pilfering your tableware because I hurl it. I hurl it with a deadly accuracy. The Blue Raja is my name. And yes, I know I don't wear much blue and I speak in a British accent, but if you know your history it really does make perfect sense. The point is, your boy's a limey fork-flinger, Mother. Hard to swallow, I know, but there 'tis. What will the bridge club think?
Blue Raja's mother: You need more forks?
The Blue Raja: Um, I was just, um, uh, um, I'm, uh...
[shifts to British accent]
The Blue Raja: I'm a superhero, mother.
Blue Raja's mother: A superhero?
The Blue Raja: An effete British superhero, to be precise. I am pilfering your tableware because I hurl it. I hurl it with a deadly accuracy. The Blue Raja is my name. And yes, I know I don't wear much blue and I speak in a British accent, but if you know your history it really does make perfect sense. The point is, your boy's a limey fork-flinger, Mother. Hard to swallow, I know, but there 'tis. What will the bridge club think?
Blue Raja's mother: You need more forks?
The Shoveller: If we had a billionaire like Lance Hunt as our benefactor...
Mr. Furious: That's because Lance Hunt IS Captain Amazing!
The Shoveller: Oh, here we go...
The Shoveller: Don't start that AGAIN. Lance Hunt wears glasses, Captain Amazing DOESN'T wear glasses.
Mr. Furious: He takes them off when he transforms...
The Shoveller: That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see!
Mr. Furious: That's because Lance Hunt IS Captain Amazing!
The Shoveller: Oh, here we go...
The Shoveller: Don't start that AGAIN. Lance Hunt wears glasses, Captain Amazing DOESN'T wear glasses.
Mr. Furious: He takes them off when he transforms...
The Shoveller: That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see!
Invisible Boy: [after becoming invisible for a moment and reappearing naked] I'm invisible. Can you see me?
The Blue Raja, The Shoveller, Mr. Furious, The Sphinx, The Bowler, The Spleen: Yes!
Mr. Furious: Wow.
The Blue Raja: Two hands there, son.
[Invisible Boy covers up]
The Bowler: Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you want to keep fighting evil today.
The Blue Raja, The Shoveller, Mr. Furious, The Sphinx, The Bowler, The Spleen: Yes!
Mr. Furious: Wow.
The Blue Raja: Two hands there, son.
[Invisible Boy covers up]
The Bowler: Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you want to keep fighting evil today.
[the trio talks about recruiting more heroes for the team]
The Blue Raja: Well, there's The Sphinx, of course.
Mr. Furious: The what?
The Blue Raja: The Sphinx.
The Shoveller: I know this guy. Big crime-fighter from down South. Big-league hitter down there.
Mr. Furious: What's his power?
The Blue Raja: Well, he's terribly mysterious.
Mr. Furious: [dismissively] That's it? That's his power? He's mysterious?
The Blue Raja: Well, TERRIBLY mysterious.
The Shoveller: Plus he can, like, cut guns in half with his mind.
The Blue Raja: Well, there's The Sphinx, of course.
Mr. Furious: The what?
The Blue Raja: The Sphinx.
The Shoveller: I know this guy. Big crime-fighter from down South. Big-league hitter down there.
Mr. Furious: What's his power?
The Blue Raja: Well, he's terribly mysterious.
Mr. Furious: [dismissively] That's it? That's his power? He's mysterious?
The Blue Raja: Well, TERRIBLY mysterious.
The Shoveller: Plus he can, like, cut guns in half with his mind.
Mr. Furious: [talking about Carmine the Bowler] Seems there was a little controversy there regarding your father's death.
The Bowler: Yes, the police said he fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
The Blue Raja: You know, I've alwas suspected a bit of foul play there.
The Bowler: As have I.
The Bowler: Yes, the police said he fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
The Blue Raja: You know, I've alwas suspected a bit of foul play there.
The Bowler: As have I.
[Mr Furious recommends a publicist for him and his friends]
The Shoveller: What are we gonna publicise, Roy? The fact that we get our butts kicked, a lot?
Mr. Furious: Well, maybe if you didn't smack me in the face with a shovel every time we went out, we'd have a few more victories to brag about.
The Shoveller: All right now, I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to lose my concentration when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.
The Blue Raja: Oh, oh I get it, so YOUR shovel in HIS face is MY fault?
The Shoveller: You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff!
Mr. Furious: Yeah, what was up with that?
The Blue Raja: I, I, I am embarrassed about that. I thought it was a fork.
The Shoveller: You're the master of cutlery. You couldn't throw a knife sometimes when someone's trying to kill me?
The Blue Raja: No, I can't! You couldn't, uh, use a rake sometimes?
The Shoveller: No. I'm the Shoveler.
The Blue Raja: Well, I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man, I'm not Knifey Boy - I'm the Blue Raja.
Mr. Furious: Yeah, that's another thing...
The Blue Raja: What?
Mr. Furious: Well, you could work a little blue into the uniform somewhere. I mean you've got green, you've got this little flowery thing going on, but it's like everything BUT blue.
The Blue Raja: Well, if we could just step out of our literal minds, just for a moment...
The Shoveller: What are we gonna publicise, Roy? The fact that we get our butts kicked, a lot?
Mr. Furious: Well, maybe if you didn't smack me in the face with a shovel every time we went out, we'd have a few more victories to brag about.
The Shoveller: All right now, I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to lose my concentration when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.
The Blue Raja: Oh, oh I get it, so YOUR shovel in HIS face is MY fault?
The Shoveller: You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff!
Mr. Furious: Yeah, what was up with that?
The Blue Raja: I, I, I am embarrassed about that. I thought it was a fork.
The Shoveller: You're the master of cutlery. You couldn't throw a knife sometimes when someone's trying to kill me?
The Blue Raja: No, I can't! You couldn't, uh, use a rake sometimes?
The Shoveller: No. I'm the Shoveler.
The Blue Raja: Well, I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man, I'm not Knifey Boy - I'm the Blue Raja.
Mr. Furious: Yeah, that's another thing...
The Blue Raja: What?
Mr. Furious: Well, you could work a little blue into the uniform somewhere. I mean you've got green, you've got this little flowery thing going on, but it's like everything BUT blue.
The Blue Raja: Well, if we could just step out of our literal minds, just for a moment...
[Mr. Furious, the Blue Raja, and the Shoveller are sneaking across Frankenstein's property to undertake some reconnaissance]
Mr. Furious: Shh! Wait! Hear that? We must have hit a trip-wire. It could be a proton eviscerator heating up.
The Shoveller: It could be a cybernetic atom scrambler. They target moving objects.
The Blue Raja: It sounds more like a heat-seeking anthrax projection gun to me. Quickly, cover your mouths.
Mr. Furious: No, let's bolt! Come on!
The Shoveller: No! Don't move.
The Blue Raja: Don't breathe!
Mr. Furious: Let's bolt!
The Shoveller: Don't move!
The Blue Raja: Don't breathe!
Mr. Furious: Let's bolt!
The Shoveller: Don't move!
[a sprinkler system turns on and the three are soaked]
The Shoveller: [disgustedly] Ohh, it's the sprinkler.
Mr. Furious: Shh! Wait! Hear that? We must have hit a trip-wire. It could be a proton eviscerator heating up.
The Shoveller: It could be a cybernetic atom scrambler. They target moving objects.
The Blue Raja: It sounds more like a heat-seeking anthrax projection gun to me. Quickly, cover your mouths.
Mr. Furious: No, let's bolt! Come on!
The Shoveller: No! Don't move.
The Blue Raja: Don't breathe!
Mr. Furious: Let's bolt!
The Shoveller: Don't move!
The Blue Raja: Don't breathe!
Mr. Furious: Let's bolt!
The Shoveller: Don't move!
[a sprinkler system turns on and the three are soaked]
The Shoveller: [disgustedly] Ohh, it's the sprinkler.
Capt. Amazing: [strapped to a chair] Listen, I really think we need to talk about your plans here.
Casanova Frankenstein: You know my plans, Lancie: Tomorrow night, I'm going to kill you.
Capt. Amazing: Right, that's the part that really doesn't work for me...
Casanova Frankenstein: When the clock strikes twelve... cuckoo, cuckoo... you will be dead. And my city will be given a new state of mind.
Casanova Frankenstein: You know my plans, Lancie: Tomorrow night, I'm going to kill you.
Capt. Amazing: Right, that's the part that really doesn't work for me...
Casanova Frankenstein: When the clock strikes twelve... cuckoo, cuckoo... you will be dead. And my city will be given a new state of mind.
Dr. Heller: If you're gonna bust into that mansion, you're gonna need more than a station wagon.
Mr. Furious: At the auto yard, there's this old Herkimer Battle Jitney. Sally's always telling me to junk it!
Dr. Heller: Wait! You have a Herkimer Battle Jitney? That's the finest nonlethal military vehicle ever made!
Mr. Furious: At the auto yard, there's this old Herkimer Battle Jitney. Sally's always telling me to junk it!
Dr. Heller: Wait! You have a Herkimer Battle Jitney? That's the finest nonlethal military vehicle ever made!
Vic Weems: I think, right now, we should focus on the positive. Tonight was good.
Capt. Amazing: Yeah? You think so? Cause I was worried it was, um, I don't know... PATHETIC! "Amazing triumphs at a nursing home"? That's great copy, Vic!
Vic Weems: Look, I'm a publicist, not a magician. You want big news, you have to have big fights. A superhero needs a supervillain - and thanks to you, we've got none left.
Capt. Amazing: Then get... the Death Man!
Vic Weems: Death Man is dead.
Capt. Amazing: Okay... Father Doom!
Vic Weems: Life without parole. Apocalypto's doing fifty years. Armagezzmo's in exile. Baron von Chaos got the chair...
Capt. Amazing: Really?
Vic Weems: Casanova Frankenstein is locked up in a nut-house.
Capt. Amazing: Casanova Frankenstein - now there was a supervillain! You know, he just... he's got those eyes, you know? I can't do it, but... and that voice! Such pure evil! The battles we used to have - extraordinary!
Vic Weems: "Used to." That's the problem, Captain. "Used to."
Capt. Amazing: Yeah? You think so? Cause I was worried it was, um, I don't know... PATHETIC! "Amazing triumphs at a nursing home"? That's great copy, Vic!
Vic Weems: Look, I'm a publicist, not a magician. You want big news, you have to have big fights. A superhero needs a supervillain - and thanks to you, we've got none left.
Capt. Amazing: Then get... the Death Man!
Vic Weems: Death Man is dead.
Capt. Amazing: Okay... Father Doom!
Vic Weems: Life without parole. Apocalypto's doing fifty years. Armagezzmo's in exile. Baron von Chaos got the chair...
Capt. Amazing: Really?
Vic Weems: Casanova Frankenstein is locked up in a nut-house.
Capt. Amazing: Casanova Frankenstein - now there was a supervillain! You know, he just... he's got those eyes, you know? I can't do it, but... and that voice! Such pure evil! The battles we used to have - extraordinary!
Vic Weems: "Used to." That's the problem, Captain. "Used to."
The Blue Raja: Well, I'd better get going. I got a city to save.
Blue Raja's mother: Jeffrey?
The Blue Raja: Yeah.
Blue Raja's mother: Do the accent.
The Blue Raja: Oh. Uh, well...
[shifts to British accent]
The Blue Raja: Well, I'd love to stay and chit-chat, Mother, but I fear I must away with me - our metropolis is in the clutches of madmen!
Blue Raja's mother: Jeffrey?
The Blue Raja: Yeah?
Blue Raja's mother: Cheerio.
The Blue Raja: Mother, I really should get going.
Blue Raja's mother: Oh. Oh, okay.
The Blue Raja: Thanks, Mom.
[He hugs and kisses her before leaving]
Blue Raja's mother: Jeffrey?
The Blue Raja: Yeah.
Blue Raja's mother: Do the accent.
The Blue Raja: Oh. Uh, well...
[shifts to British accent]
The Blue Raja: Well, I'd love to stay and chit-chat, Mother, but I fear I must away with me - our metropolis is in the clutches of madmen!
Blue Raja's mother: Jeffrey?
The Blue Raja: Yeah?
Blue Raja's mother: Cheerio.
The Blue Raja: Mother, I really should get going.
Blue Raja's mother: Oh. Oh, okay.
The Blue Raja: Thanks, Mom.
[He hugs and kisses her before leaving]
[commenting On The Disco Boy's arsenal]
Mr. Furious: What? Guns? That's your power, you shoot guns?
The Blue Raja: There's no theme at all here.
Mr. Furious: Weak.
The Blue Raja: At best.
[a Disco Boy wields a pipe]
The Shoveller: And who are you supposed to be, the Disco Plumber?
[they high-five each other]
Mr. Furious: See, you've got a chain, I would at least make it a gold chain. That's just off the top of my head.
Mr. Furious: [to Tony C, referring to his outfit] What's up, Tiger Lily?
Tony C.: Top of your head, huh.
[Tony C pistol-whips Furious]
Tony C.: [the Disco Boys proceed to beat the hell out of Furious, Blue Raja, and the Shoveller]
Mr. Furious: What? Guns? That's your power, you shoot guns?
The Blue Raja: There's no theme at all here.
Mr. Furious: Weak.
The Blue Raja: At best.
[a Disco Boy wields a pipe]
The Shoveller: And who are you supposed to be, the Disco Plumber?
[they high-five each other]
Mr. Furious: See, you've got a chain, I would at least make it a gold chain. That's just off the top of my head.
Mr. Furious: [to Tony C, referring to his outfit] What's up, Tiger Lily?
Tony C.: Top of your head, huh.
[Tony C pistol-whips Furious]
Tony C.: [the Disco Boys proceed to beat the hell out of Furious, Blue Raja, and the Shoveller]
[last lines]
[to the news reporters]
The Shoveller: Excuse me, could I say something? I think we would all like this victory to go out to all the other guys, and I'm talking about the people in this city who are super good at their jobs but never get any credit. Like the lady in the DMV - that's a rough job.
Invisible Boy: To the people that remember jingles from tons of old commercials.
The Bowler: And uh, uh, people that support local music and seek out independent film.
The Shoveller: And the guy that drives the snow-plow. And the school nurse, that's a...
Mr. Furious: Eddie, Eddie, I think they got the point.
Becky Beaner: What's the name of this group?
Invisible Boy: The Super Dudes!
The Bowler: No, no, no, not the Super Dudes.
Mr. Furious: We're not the Super Dudes. We don't have a name yet, but we're definitely not the Super Dudes.
The Shoveller: I gotta get home, it's late...
[a photojournalist approaches]
The Bowler: Picture, picture time!
Becky Beaner: Well, whatever you call them, Champion City will forever owe a debt of gratitude to these mystery men.
The Sphinx: Wait! Wait, that's it!... We are the Super Squad.
The Bowler: No, no! Alliteration in these situations is corny... What?
[She opens her bag, where Carmine sits smouldering]
The Bowler: Yes, we're all very aware that you saved the day, and I'm sure we'll be hearing about it for the rest of our lives...
[to the news reporters]
The Shoveller: Excuse me, could I say something? I think we would all like this victory to go out to all the other guys, and I'm talking about the people in this city who are super good at their jobs but never get any credit. Like the lady in the DMV - that's a rough job.
Invisible Boy: To the people that remember jingles from tons of old commercials.
The Bowler: And uh, uh, people that support local music and seek out independent film.
The Shoveller: And the guy that drives the snow-plow. And the school nurse, that's a...
Mr. Furious: Eddie, Eddie, I think they got the point.
Becky Beaner: What's the name of this group?
Invisible Boy: The Super Dudes!
The Bowler: No, no, no, not the Super Dudes.
Mr. Furious: We're not the Super Dudes. We don't have a name yet, but we're definitely not the Super Dudes.
The Shoveller: I gotta get home, it's late...
[a photojournalist approaches]
The Bowler: Picture, picture time!
Becky Beaner: Well, whatever you call them, Champion City will forever owe a debt of gratitude to these mystery men.
The Sphinx: Wait! Wait, that's it!... We are the Super Squad.
The Bowler: No, no! Alliteration in these situations is corny... What?
[She opens her bag, where Carmine sits smouldering]
The Bowler: Yes, we're all very aware that you saved the day, and I'm sure we'll be hearing about it for the rest of our lives...
The Shoveller: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a superhero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks off, a small boy hugs the Shoveller's leg]
Roland, The Shoveler's Son: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling] Roland, do NOT encourage your father!
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a superhero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks off, a small boy hugs the Shoveller's leg]
Roland, The Shoveler's Son: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling] Roland, do NOT encourage your father!
The Spleen: Why are you guys always dissing me? It hurts my feelings. I'm a superhero too. I have powers.
Invisible Boy: Really? Like what?
The Spleen: So glad you asked. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Well, it all started when I was just 13 years of age. One day, while walking with some friends, I accidentally cut the cheese. Well, in my adolescent awkwardness, I blamed it on an old gypsy woman who happened to be passing by. BIG MISTAKE! The gypsy woman placed a curse upon my head. Because I smelled it, she decreed I would forevermore BE HE WHO DEALT IT!
Invisible Boy: Really? Like what?
The Spleen: So glad you asked. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Well, it all started when I was just 13 years of age. One day, while walking with some friends, I accidentally cut the cheese. Well, in my adolescent awkwardness, I blamed it on an old gypsy woman who happened to be passing by. BIG MISTAKE! The gypsy woman placed a curse upon my head. Because I smelled it, she decreed I would forevermore BE HE WHO DEALT IT!
[Monica is trying to eat dinner behind the counter when Mr. Furious approaches to try to strike up a conversation. He notices photographs of motorcycles in the magazine she is reading]
Mr. Furious: You're into motorcycles.
Monica: [uninterested] No, not really.
Mr. Furious: Oh. 'Cause I got a motorcycle.
Monica: [She nods without looking up] Yeah, what kind?
Mr. Furious: It's a Harley...
Monica: A Harley!
Mr. Furious: [He nods, then lurches into honesty] ... compatible. It's a Harley-compatible. Basically the same engineering.
Mr. Furious: You're into motorcycles.
Monica: [uninterested] No, not really.
Mr. Furious: Oh. 'Cause I got a motorcycle.
Monica: [She nods without looking up] Yeah, what kind?
Mr. Furious: It's a Harley...
Monica: A Harley!
Mr. Furious: [He nods, then lurches into honesty] ... compatible. It's a Harley-compatible. Basically the same engineering.
Dr. Heller: It's a psychofrakulator. It creates a cloud of radically-fluctuating free-deviant chaotrons which penetrate the synaptic relays. It's concatenated with a synchronous transport switch that creates a virtual tributary. It's focused onto a biobolic reflector and what happens is that hallucinations become reality and the brain is literally fried from within.
[the team are working on the Herkimer Battle Jitney to prepare it for battle]
Dr. Heller: It's a process which results in an accelerated flow of electrons that creates such a powerful magnetic force.
Invisible Boy: So this is, basically, like a huge electromagnet.
Dr. Heller: Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet. It's the next inevitable phase.
Dr. Heller: It's a process which results in an accelerated flow of electrons that creates such a powerful magnetic force.
Invisible Boy: So this is, basically, like a huge electromagnet.
Dr. Heller: Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet. It's the next inevitable phase.
Capt. Amazing: Oh looky here, a multi frequency radio detonator. You should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.
Casanova Frankenstein: Oh, no, no, no this is quite an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.
Capt. Amazing: Yeah? W-What is it?
[Puff Of Smoke Goes Off In Captain Amazing's Face]
Capt. Amazing: [sniffs] Yuck.
Casanova Frankenstein: It's a cholorform-deploying portable enticement snare.
[Captain Amazing Nods In Confusion and both foes stare at each other in silence momentarily]
Capt. Amazing: [sniffs] Ah, Dang!
[passes out]
Casanova Frankenstein: Oh, no, no, no this is quite an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.
Capt. Amazing: Yeah? W-What is it?
[Puff Of Smoke Goes Off In Captain Amazing's Face]
Capt. Amazing: [sniffs] Yuck.
Casanova Frankenstein: It's a cholorform-deploying portable enticement snare.
[Captain Amazing Nods In Confusion and both foes stare at each other in silence momentarily]
Capt. Amazing: [sniffs] Ah, Dang!
[passes out]
[the Spleen is shot in the rear]
The Spleen: I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS. I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS.
Invisible Boy: Do your powers still work?
The Spleen: My powers?
Invisible Boy: Yeah.
The Spleen: Weapons check.
[Invisible Boy pulls Spleen's fingers. Spleen lets loose a wind of gas, wiping out an entire gang]
The Spleen: It'll do.
The Spleen: I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS. I CAN'T FEEL MY ASS.
Invisible Boy: Do your powers still work?
The Spleen: My powers?
Invisible Boy: Yeah.
The Spleen: Weapons check.
[Invisible Boy pulls Spleen's fingers. Spleen lets loose a wind of gas, wiping out an entire gang]
The Spleen: It'll do.
The Shoveller: And what do you call this?
Dr. Heller: Careful, careful, that's a Blame Thrower!
The Shoveller: A Blame Thrower? Oops.
[He accidentally activates it]
The Shoveller: Oh, I'm sorry!
[Suddenly the team breaks out into screaming cross-talk as they blame each other for trivia. 'I'm sorry if I smell all the time,' etc. Heller comes to their help and powers the Thrower down]
The Spleen: I'm sorry.
The Bowler: I'm sorry.
[Spleen leans over for a hug, but Bowler waves him away with an admonitory finger]
The Bowler: No, no. No. No no no. No.
The Shoveller: Doctor, you *are* a genius.
Dr. Heller: That's what the card says.
Dr. Heller: Careful, careful, that's a Blame Thrower!
The Shoveller: A Blame Thrower? Oops.
[He accidentally activates it]
The Shoveller: Oh, I'm sorry!
[Suddenly the team breaks out into screaming cross-talk as they blame each other for trivia. 'I'm sorry if I smell all the time,' etc. Heller comes to their help and powers the Thrower down]
The Spleen: I'm sorry.
The Bowler: I'm sorry.
[Spleen leans over for a hug, but Bowler waves him away with an admonitory finger]
The Bowler: No, no. No. No no no. No.
The Shoveller: Doctor, you *are* a genius.
Dr. Heller: That's what the card says.
Casanova Frankenstein: Ah, the old Disco Room. Just as I left it.
Tony P.: You been locked up for twenty years, Casanova. A lot of things have changed since then.
Casanova Frankenstein: It must have been hard for you, Tony, the way times and styles have changed... hearing the people say that disco is dead...
Tony P.: Disco is not dead! Disco is LIFE!
Casanova Frankenstein: Yes, Tony! That is the passion I remember! Stick with me, Tony, and you will dance again... when I rule this town.
Tony P.: You been locked up for twenty years, Casanova. A lot of things have changed since then.
Casanova Frankenstein: It must have been hard for you, Tony, the way times and styles have changed... hearing the people say that disco is dead...
Tony P.: Disco is not dead! Disco is LIFE!
Casanova Frankenstein: Yes, Tony! That is the passion I remember! Stick with me, Tony, and you will dance again... when I rule this town.
Capt. Amazing: Really? I'm not so sure about that. Your first night of freedom, and you blow up the asylum. Interesting choice. I knew you couldn't change.
Casanova Frankenstein: I knew you'd know that.
Capt. Amazing: Oh, I know that. And I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.
Casanova Frankenstein: But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know that?
Capt. Amazing: ...Of course.
Casanova Frankenstein: I knew you'd know that.
Capt. Amazing: Oh, I know that. And I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.
Casanova Frankenstein: But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know that?
Capt. Amazing: ...Of course.
The Shoveller: Come on, somebody do something, we need him.
The Bowler: Okay. Okay, you're a very furious man, you understand that?
Mr. Furious: No.
The Bowler: No? Well you've got a lot to be furious about, and I'll tell you why: You're not well-liked. You're uh, you're abrasive and off- putting. You try and say pithy things, but your wit is a hindrance and therefore nothing is provocative. Just mixed metaphors. Now, doesn't that make you angry? Does it infuriate you?
Mr. Furious: No.
The Bowler: Well, it should. Aren't you angry? Come on, man!
The Shoveller: Your penmanship is atrocious!
The Sphinx: You dress in the manner of a male prostitute!
The Bowler: Okay. Okay, you're a very furious man, you understand that?
Mr. Furious: No.
The Bowler: No? Well you've got a lot to be furious about, and I'll tell you why: You're not well-liked. You're uh, you're abrasive and off- putting. You try and say pithy things, but your wit is a hindrance and therefore nothing is provocative. Just mixed metaphors. Now, doesn't that make you angry? Does it infuriate you?
Mr. Furious: No.
The Bowler: Well, it should. Aren't you angry? Come on, man!
The Shoveller: Your penmanship is atrocious!
The Sphinx: You dress in the manner of a male prostitute!
Casanova Frankenstein: [pleading his case before a committee] Blessed... disciples of Hippocrates. My heart is torn in two. It aches with guilt from my abominable crimes, yet it is filled with love for this... sanctuary, this place of healing, and it sings with Beethoven's immortal "Ode To Joy" where all men... become... brothers!
Mr. Furious: I'm a wannabe. I AM a wannabe - a TRUE wannabe, in the worst sense of... You guys are gonna have to go fight this battle without me.
The Spleen: You start doubting your super-powers, man, you are SHAFTED!
Mr. Furious: If I had any super-powers to doubt, I w... I guess I'd be in trouble, but I don't. What do I do? I don't. I don't. I go... What do I... I go 'R-r-r-r-r-r'!
The Spleen: What? What are you talking about? You lifted a bus once!
The Blue Raja: Yes, precisely! That story's legend'ry!
Mr. Furious: Yeah... It was really more of a...
[waves hand sideways]
Mr. Furious: ... a push, really, than a lift.
The Blue Raja: That still takes INCREDIBLE super-human strength.
The Blue Raja: Indeed, it does! To push an entire bus out of the way.
Mr. Furious: Well, actually, the driver kinda had his foot on the accelerator... JUST in the beginning; just to get it going. Then it actually was me. But he kinda...
The Blue Raja: Oh, shit.
The Spleen: You start doubting your super-powers, man, you are SHAFTED!
Mr. Furious: If I had any super-powers to doubt, I w... I guess I'd be in trouble, but I don't. What do I do? I don't. I don't. I go... What do I... I go 'R-r-r-r-r-r'!
The Spleen: What? What are you talking about? You lifted a bus once!
The Blue Raja: Yes, precisely! That story's legend'ry!
Mr. Furious: Yeah... It was really more of a...
[waves hand sideways]
Mr. Furious: ... a push, really, than a lift.
The Blue Raja: That still takes INCREDIBLE super-human strength.
The Blue Raja: Indeed, it does! To push an entire bus out of the way.
Mr. Furious: Well, actually, the driver kinda had his foot on the accelerator... JUST in the beginning; just to get it going. Then it actually was me. But he kinda...
The Blue Raja: Oh, shit.
Monica: What's your name?
Mr. Furious: D-do you mean my secret identity? 'Cause I couldn't...
Monica: No, I just mean your name.
Mr. Furious: My name. Ummm... wow. Okay... It's... Phoenix... Phoenix Dark... Dirk... Phoenix... Dark Dirk. I was christened Dirk Steel and then I changed it to Phoenix...
Monica: Forget about it. It's okay.
Mr. Furious: It's Roy! That's, that's my name. My... my real name is Roy.
Monica: Just. Be. Roy. Okay?
Mr. Furious: D-do you mean my secret identity? 'Cause I couldn't...
Monica: No, I just mean your name.
Mr. Furious: My name. Ummm... wow. Okay... It's... Phoenix... Phoenix Dark... Dirk... Phoenix... Dark Dirk. I was christened Dirk Steel and then I changed it to Phoenix...
Monica: Forget about it. It's okay.
Mr. Furious: It's Roy! That's, that's my name. My... my real name is Roy.
Monica: Just. Be. Roy. Okay?
