Nebraska Quotes
An aging, booze-addled father makes the trip from Montana to Nebraska with his estranged son in order to claim a million-dollar Mega Sweepstakes Marketing prize.
Kate Grant: [looking at graves] There's Woody's little sister, Rose. She was only nineteen when she was killed in a car wreck near Wausa. What a whore!
David Grant: Mom!
Kate Grant: Nah, I liked Rose, but my God, she was a slut.
David Grant: C'mon...
Kate Grant: I'm just telling you the truth!
David Grant: Where's your family?
Kate Grant: Oh, they're over in the Catholic cemetery. Catholics wouldn't be caught dead around all these damn Lutherans.
[Approaches another tombstone]
Kate Grant: Here's Delmer, Woody's cousin, he was a drunk. One time we were wrestling and he felt me up. Grabbed a handful of boob and Woody was right there and didn't have a clue, did ya Woody?
David Grant: Mom!
Kate Grant: Nah, I liked Rose, but my God, she was a slut.
David Grant: C'mon...
Kate Grant: I'm just telling you the truth!
David Grant: Where's your family?
Kate Grant: Oh, they're over in the Catholic cemetery. Catholics wouldn't be caught dead around all these damn Lutherans.
[Approaches another tombstone]
Kate Grant: Here's Delmer, Woody's cousin, he was a drunk. One time we were wrestling and he felt me up. Grabbed a handful of boob and Woody was right there and didn't have a clue, did ya Woody?
David Grant: Dad, why didn't you tell us that wasn't Ed's house?
Woody Grant: I didn't know what the hell you were doing.
Ross Grant: Have you ever seen us steal machinery before?
Woody Grant: I never know what you boys are up to.
Ross Grant: Why didn't you say it wasn't yours?
Woody Grant: I thought you wanted it.
Ross Grant: What would we want an old compressor for?
Woody Grant: That's what I couldn't figure out.
Woody Grant: I didn't know what the hell you were doing.
Ross Grant: Have you ever seen us steal machinery before?
Woody Grant: I never know what you boys are up to.
Ross Grant: Why didn't you say it wasn't yours?
Woody Grant: I thought you wanted it.
Ross Grant: What would we want an old compressor for?
Woody Grant: That's what I couldn't figure out.
Kate Grant: That's Ed Pegram singing.
Ed Pegram: And his momma cried, cause if there's one thing that she don't need, it's another hungry mouth to feed... in the ghetto. people don't ya understand...
Kate Grant: He always did have a nice voice. It was the only nice thing about that bastard.
Woody Grant: It's all right.
Kate Grant: All right? Did you know... he was always trying to get into my bloomers?
David Grant: Jesus mom. Was the whole town trying to seduce you?
Ed Pegram: And his momma cried, cause if there's one thing that she don't need, it's another hungry mouth to feed... in the ghetto. people don't ya understand...
Kate Grant: He always did have a nice voice. It was the only nice thing about that bastard.
Woody Grant: It's all right.
Kate Grant: All right? Did you know... he was always trying to get into my bloomers?
David Grant: Jesus mom. Was the whole town trying to seduce you?
Aunt Flo: Martha, where's Bart and Cole?
Aunt Martha: Oh, they're off doing some volunteer work picking up trash off the streets.
Kate Grant: It's community service; for Bart's rape.
Aunt Martha: Sexual assault!
Kate Grant: What's the difference?
Aunt Martha: A huge difference... it's... well... the boys can explain it to you better than I can...
Aunt Martha: Oh, they're off doing some volunteer work picking up trash off the streets.
Kate Grant: It's community service; for Bart's rape.
Aunt Martha: Sexual assault!
Kate Grant: What's the difference?
Aunt Martha: A huge difference... it's... well... the boys can explain it to you better than I can...
Kate Grant: Why do you want meatloaf if it isn't even on the dinner menu?
Woody Grant: 'cause I like it.
Waitress: What can I get you?
Woody Grant: Do you have any meatloaf?
Waitress: No, that's only part of our lunch specials.
Kate Grant: He'll have the chicken.
Waitress: Fried or grilled?
Woody Grant: ...fried.
Kate Grant: He'll have it grilled. I think I'd like the roast beef, but I'm not entirely sure. What do you recommend?
Waitress: Everything's all good ma'am, but I especially like the tilapia.
Kate Grant: Oh, then I'll have the roast beef.
David Grant: ...I'll have the tilapia.
Woody Grant: 'cause I like it.
Waitress: What can I get you?
Woody Grant: Do you have any meatloaf?
Waitress: No, that's only part of our lunch specials.
Kate Grant: He'll have the chicken.
Waitress: Fried or grilled?
Woody Grant: ...fried.
Kate Grant: He'll have it grilled. I think I'd like the roast beef, but I'm not entirely sure. What do you recommend?
Waitress: Everything's all good ma'am, but I especially like the tilapia.
Kate Grant: Oh, then I'll have the roast beef.
David Grant: ...I'll have the tilapia.
David Grant: So, what do you think, dad?
Woody Grant: It doesn't look finished to me.
David Grant: How do you mean?
Woody Grant: [upon seeing Mount Rushmore] Well, it looks like somebody got bored doing it. Washington's the only one with any clothes, and they're just kind of roughed in. Lincoln doesn't even have an ear.
Woody Grant: It doesn't look finished to me.
David Grant: How do you mean?
Woody Grant: [upon seeing Mount Rushmore] Well, it looks like somebody got bored doing it. Washington's the only one with any clothes, and they're just kind of roughed in. Lincoln doesn't even have an ear.
Sheriff: Hey, partner.
Sheriff: Hold on there, just a second.
Sheriff: Where are you headed, there?
Sheriff: Where are you headed up to?
Sheriff: How are you doing there, bud?
Sheriff: Huh? Are you okay?
Sheriff: Where are you headed?
Sheriff: You headed down the road, there, huh?
Sheriff: (grunts)
Sheriff: Huh?
Sheriff: Where are you coming from?
Woody Grant: Yeah?
Sheriff: Hold on there, just a second.
Sheriff: Where are you headed, there?
Sheriff: Where are you headed up to?
Sheriff: How are you doing there, bud?
Sheriff: Huh? Are you okay?
Sheriff: Where are you headed?
Sheriff: You headed down the road, there, huh?
Sheriff: (grunts)
Sheriff: Huh?
Sheriff: Where are you coming from?
Woody Grant: Yeah?
David Grant: Oh. Okay. Dad, I found it. Here it is.
[Runs up holding partial]
David Grant: Oh. Wait. This isn't yours.
Woody Grant: [Goes back to looking]
David Grant: I was kidding. Here.
[Hands it over]
Woody Grant: [Examines it] These ain't mine.
David Grant: Of course they're yours.
Woody Grant: No.
David Grant: Whose else is it going to be? See if it fits.
Woody Grant: They're not my teeth.
David Grant: They have to be.
Woody Grant: I ought to know my own teeth.
David Grant: [Walks off]
Woody Grant: Of course they're my teeth. Don't be a moron.
[Runs up holding partial]
David Grant: Oh. Wait. This isn't yours.
Woody Grant: [Goes back to looking]
David Grant: I was kidding. Here.
[Hands it over]
Woody Grant: [Examines it] These ain't mine.
David Grant: Of course they're yours.
Woody Grant: No.
David Grant: Whose else is it going to be? See if it fits.
Woody Grant: They're not my teeth.
David Grant: They have to be.
Woody Grant: I ought to know my own teeth.
David Grant: [Walks off]
Woody Grant: Of course they're my teeth. Don't be a moron.
Bart: So, you got any other cars?
David Grant: No. Just that one.
Bart: What's the engine?
David Grant: It's uh... four cylinder?
Bart: Yeah. But, what size?
David Grant: Oh, I don't really know.
Cole: What's your brother drive?
David Grant: Who, Ross?
Cole: Yeah, what does he drive?
David Grant: Ross has a Kia Rondo and Marcy has a Nissan Pathfinder. She carts the kids around a lot.
Bart: So, you all got Jap cars?
David Grant: Actually, Kia is Korean.
David Grant: No. Just that one.
Bart: What's the engine?
David Grant: It's uh... four cylinder?
Bart: Yeah. But, what size?
David Grant: Oh, I don't really know.
Cole: What's your brother drive?
David Grant: Who, Ross?
Cole: Yeah, what does he drive?
David Grant: Ross has a Kia Rondo and Marcy has a Nissan Pathfinder. She carts the kids around a lot.
Bart: So, you all got Jap cars?
David Grant: Actually, Kia is Korean.
