The Darling family children receive a visit from Peter Pan, who takes them to Never Never Land where an ongoing war with the evil Pirate Captain Hook is taking place.

Hook: And now, Peter Pan, you shall die.
Peter: To die would be an awfully big adventure.
Captain Hook: If I were you, I'd give up!
Peter: If you were me, I'd be ugly.
Peter: To live would be an awfully big adventure.
Captain Hook: She was leaving you, Pan! Your Wendy was leaving you. Why should she stay? What have you to offer? You are incomplete. Let us now take a peep into the future, shall we?
[Hook and Peter start to fight again]
Captain Hook: 'Tis the fair Wendy. She's in her nursery. The window is shut.
Peter: I'll open it.
Captain Hook: I'm afraid the window is barred.
Peter: I'll call out her name!
Captain Hook: She can't hear you...
Peter: No!
Captain Hook: She can't see you.
Peter: Wendy!
Captain Hook: She's forgotten all about you.
Peter: Stop! Please! Stop it!
[Peter and Wendy land to talk to mermaids to find John and Michael]
Wendy: Oh, How sweet.
[Peter looks disgusted]
Wendy: What? Are mermaids not sweet?
Peter: They'll sweetly drown you if you get too close
Peter: I do believe in fairies, I do, I do.
Peter: Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again.
Wendy: Never is an awfully long time.
[Wendy kisses Peter Pan and he starts to glow]
Captain Hook: Pan... you're pink.
Captain Hook: [Guessing who he is] Vegetable?
Peter: No...
Captain Hook: Mineral?
Peter: No...
Captain Hook: Animal?
Peter: Yes.
Captain Hook: Man?
Peter: NO!
Captain Hook: Boy?
Peter: Yes!
Captain Hook: Ordinary boy?
Peter: No!
Captain Hook: Wonderful boy?
Peter: Yes! Do you give up?
Wendy: Peter, I'm sorry I must grow up...
[Hook grabs her]
Wendy: [to Hook] It is just a thimble.
Captain Hook: By all means my beauty, give Peter Pan your precious thimble.
Wendy: This belongs to you and always will.
[Kisses Peter]
John: That was no thimble...
Michael: That was a hidden kiss.
Peter Pan: Second star to the right and straight on till morning.
Captain Hook: You're a tragedy!
Peter: Me? Tragic?
[Wendy has just become the Lost Boys' mother]
Peter: Discipline. That's what fathers believe in. We must spank the children immediately before they try to kill you again. In fact, we should kill them.
Wendy: Father. I agree that they are... perfectly horrid, but... kill them and they should think themselves... important.
The Lost Boys: So important, Peter.
Curly: And unique.
Wendy: I, propose something far more dreadful. Medicine. The sticky, sweet kind.
The Lost Boys: Kill us, Peter.
Peter: I want always to be a boy, and have fun.
Wendy: You say so, but I think it is your biggest pretend.
Wendy: Peter... I should like to give you a kiss.
[Peter holds his hand out]
Wendy: Don't you know what a kiss is?
Peter: I shall know when you give me one.
Wendy: Peter. You won't forget me, will you?
Peter: Me? Forget? Never.
Wendy: Will you ever come back?
Peter: To hear stories... About me.
Wendy: Once upon a time there was a boy named Peter Pan, who decided not to grow up.
Hook: Skip the prologue.
Wendy: So he flew away to Neverland where the pirates are.
Hook: What fun he must have had.
Wendy: Yes but he was rather lonely.
Hook: Lonely? He needed a Wendy.
Pirate: I need a Wendy.
Hook: Why a Wendy?
Wendy: He liked my stories.
Hook: What stories?
Wendy: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty.
Hook: Love stories?
Wendy: Adventures! In which good triumphs over evil!
Hook: They all end in a kiss.
Wendy: [gasps]
Hook: A kiss. He does feel! He feels about you.
Hook: She told him stories. He taught her to fly. How?
Wendy: You just think happy thoughts. They lift you into the air.
Hook: Alas, I have no happy thoughts.
Wendy: That brings you down!
Hook: [Hook threatens to cut Wendy's throat with his hook] How else?
Michael: Fairy dust! You need fairy dust!
The Lost Boys: Michael!
Hook: What of Pan? Would unhappy thoughts bring him down?
Wendy: He has no unhappy thoughts.
Wendy: Where do you live?
Peter: Second to the right, and then straight on till morning.
Wendy: They put that on the letters?
Peter: Don't get any letters.
Wendy: But your mother gets letters.
Peter: Don't have a mother.
Wendy: No wonder you were crying.
Peter: I wasn't crying about mothers. I was crying because I can't get this shadow to stick. And I wasn't crying.
Peter: Wendy? One girl's worth more than 20 boys.
Wendy: [under bed sheets] You really think so?
Peter: I live with boys, the lost boys, they are well named!
Wendy: Who are they?
[asking as she gets out from under sheets and makes Peter fall off the bed]
Peter: Children who fall out of their prams when the nurse is not looking. If they are not claimed in seven days, they are sent to the Neverland.
Wendy: Are there girls too?
Peter: Girls are much to clever to fall out of their prams.
[he says as he looks through the heart in Wendy's bed]
[at Skull Rock, Peter Pan has disguised his voice to sound like Captain Hook to trick Mr. Smee into returning Princess Tiger Lily to the Indians. The real Hook notices Smee rowing past him, out of Skull Rock]
Mr. Smee: Well, at last, Captain Hook's comin' to his senses.
Captain Hook: [surprised] Odd's fish!
Mr. Smee: [to Tiger Lily] I told him all along you Indians wouldn't betray Peter Pan.
Captain Hook: [sweetly] And just what do you think you are doing, Mr. Smee?
[He stops the rowboat from moving by placing his foot on it]
Mr. Smee: Just what you told me, Captain: carrying out your orders.
Captain Hook: My orders?
Mr. Smee: Why, yes, Captain. Didn't you just say to go...
Captain Hook: [shoving Smee's rowboat back into Skull Rock] Put her back, you blithering idiot!
[to himself]
Captain Hook: My orders. Of all the bumbling...
[gazing up at Wendy and Peter dancing in mid-air]
Captain Hook: He has found himself a... Wendy. And Hook is all alone.
Hook: Old... Alone... Done for.
Mrs. Darling: [as she's sleeping] Wendy... Wendy
Peter: [as he's closing the window] Sorry lady, we can't both have her.
[Hook asked Tiger Lily if she had seen Peter Pan, and she replies with a foreign language, and then spits at him]
Smee: She says sorry, but no.
Peter: Well I will not grow up! You cannot make me! I will banish you like Tinkerbell.
Wendy: I WILL NOT BE BANISHED!
Peter: Then go home. Go home and grow up. And take your feelings with you!
Smee: [to Hook, after Wendy falls off the plank] Did you hear her hit the water? Cos I didn't.
[Wendy sews Peter's shadow to his feet]
Peter: Oh, the cleverness of me.
Wendy: Of course, I did nothing...
Peter: You did a little.
Peter: You can't catch me and make me a man.
Slightly: I couldn't find the house, and now everyone has a mother except me.
Hook: If you are Hook... then who am I?
Peter: You... are a... codfish!
[Peter sees a boy flying next to him, forgetting he has just met him minutes before]
Peter: Who are you?
John: I'm John.
Peter: John.
Story Narrator: But I was never to see Peter Pan again. Now I tell his story to my children and they will tell it to their children, and so it will go on - for all children grow up... Except one.
Wendy: This belongs to you, and always will.
[first lines]
Narrator: All this has happened before, and it will all happen again. But this time it happened in London. It happened on a quiet street in Bloomsbury. That corner house over there is the home of the Darling family. And Peter Pan chose this particular house because there were people here who believed in him.
[Mr. and Mrs. Darling are rushing up the stairs, right before Peter takes the children to Neverland]
Story Narrator: It would be delightful to report that they reached the nursery in time... but then, there would be no story.
Peter: [all of the boys hold out their hands] They're a bit dirty.
Slightly: She must stay here and DIE!
Peter: NO!
Slightly: How could I have thought that? Stupid... sorry.
[During a swordfight between Peter and Wendy]
Tootles: Mother and father are fighting again...
Peter Pan: Tinker Bell! I hereby banish you forever.
Wendy: Please, not forever.
Peter Pan: Well, for a week then.
Slightly: If Hook discovers our hideout, he'll gut us.
Wendy: How dreadful!
Slightly: Oh, we live for it!
Smee: Pan did you a favor, did he, Captain?
Captain Hook: A favor? He threw my hand to a crocodile, the beast liked it so much, it's followed me ever since, licking its lips for the rest of me... YOU CALL THAT A FAVOR?
Captain Hook: How like a girl!
Peter Pan: Well? Get on with it, girl!
Wendy: My name is Wendy. Wendy Moira Angela Darling.
Peter Pan: Wendy's enough.
Peter: If you wish it.
Slightly: If you wish it?
Peter: IF YOU WISH IT.
Wendy: Oh, the cleverness of you.
Peter: [after bumping his head on waking up] I was not asleep.
Peter Pan: I say, Captain, do you hear something?
Peter: I am the best there ever was!
[At Skull Rock, Peter Pan is out of Smee's sight impersonating Captain Hook]
Peter Pan: Mr. Smee! Just exactly what do you think you're doing?
Mr. Smee: Putting her back like you said, Captain.
Peter Pan: I said nothing of the sort!
Mr. Smee: Oh, uh... b-but Cap...
Peter Pan: For the last time, Mr. Smee, take the princess back to her people!
[screams]
Peter Pan: *UNDERSTAND*?
Mr. Smee: Aye, aye, sir.
Peter Pan: Oh, and one more thing. When you return to the ship, tell the whole crew to help themselves to me best rum.
Peter: She is to tell us stories. She is...
Slightly: Dead.
Curly: Tragic.
Nibs: Awful. Good shot, though.
Wendy: Sir, you are both ungallant and deficient!
Peter: How am I deficient?
Wendy: You're just a boy.
Twin: Do you tell stories?
Wendy: Yes.
Curly: Then you're perfect.
Smee: Very exciting - two dead already!
Mrs. Darling: There are many different kinds of bravery. There's the bravery of thinking of others before one's self. Now, your father has never brandished a sword nor fired a pistol, thank heavens. But he has made many sacrifices for his family, and put away many dreams.
Michael: Where did he put them?
Mrs. Darling: He put them in a drawer. And sometimes, late at night, we take them out and admire them. But it gets harder and harder to close the drawer... He does. And that is why he is brave.
Peter: Tinkerbell... She's my fairy.
Wendy: But, there's no such thing as f-
[Peter flies up and closes her mouth]
Peter: [firmly] Don't say that. Every time someone says that, a fairy somewhere falls down dead.
[he goes to look for Tinkerbell]
Peter: And I'll never find her if she's dead!
Wendy: You don't mean to tell me... there's a *fairy* in this room?
Wendy: He can fly!
John: He can fly!
Michael: He flewed!
Peter Pan: Now you try.
Wendy: I'll think of a mermaid lagoon, underneath a magic moon.
John: I'll think I'm in a pirate's cave.
Michael: I think I'll be an Indian brave.
Peter Pan: Now everybody try.
Wendy, John, Michael, Peter Pan: One, two, three!
Wendy, John, Michael: We can fly! We can fly! We can fly!
[the children all fall to the ground]
Peter Pan: This won't do. What's the matter with you? All it takes is faith and trust. Oh! And something I forgot.
[grabs Tinkerbell]
Peter Pan: Dust!
Wendy, John: Dust?
Michael: Dust?
Peter Pan: Yep, just a little bit of pixie dust.
[taps Tinkerbell a bit with his hand to make golden dust come off and rain down on the kids]
Peter Pan: Now, think of the happiest things. It's the same as having wings.
Slightly: I remember kisses, let me see. Aye, that is a kiss. A powerful thing.
Peter Pan: [as he and Capt. Hook hear the sound of Tick-Tock] I say, Captain, do you hear something?
Captain Hook: [trembles in fear] No.
[ticking getting closer]
Captain Hook: No!
[Tick-Tock comes up from the water and bites Hook]
Captain Hook: Nooo!
Mrs. Darling: But, George, do you think the children will be safe without Nana?
Mr. Darling: Safe? Of course they'll be safe. Why not?
Mrs. Darling: Well, Wendy said something about a shadow, and I...
Mr. Darling: Shadow? Whose shadow?
Mrs. Darling: Peter Pan's.
Mr. Darling: Oh, Peter Pan... Peter Pan! You don't say!
Mr. Darling: [high, mocking voice] Goodness gracious, whatever shall we do?
Mrs. Darling: But George...
Mr. Darling: Sound the alarm!
Mrs. Darling: Really, I...
Mr. Darling: Call Scotland Yard!
Peter Pan: Girls talk too much!
Smee: Captain, the ice is melting, the sun is out, and the flowers are all in bloom...
Captain Hook: He's back.
Wendy: My parents wanted me to grow up.
Captain Hook: Growing up is such a barbarous business, full of inconvenience... and pimples.
John: [upon meeting Peter] You offend reason, sir.
Michael: Mm-hmm.
John: [sees Peter lift into the air] I should like to offend it with you
Slightly: Then she must stay here and die.
The Lost Boys and Peter Pan: [gasp] No.
Slightly: Of course not. How could I have thought that? Stupid.
Captain Hook: [about to lower a bomb into Peter Pan's hideout] And now, Smee, to take care of master Peter Pan.
Mr. Smee: But, Captain, wouldn't it be more humane-like to slit his throat?
Captain Hook: Aye, that it would, Mr Smee. But I have given me word not to lay a finger, or a hook, on Peter Pan. And Captain Hook never breaks a promise.
Captain Hook: My new obsession is you. Not dear Peter Pan or his whereabouts.
Peter: Promise me one thing... Leave Hook to me.
Wendy: I promise.
Captain Hook: You wouldn't do ol' Hook in now, would you, lad? I'll go away forever.
[tearfully]
Captain Hook: I'll do anything you say.
Peter Pan: Well, all right... if you... say you're a codfish.
Captain Hook: [gulps] I'm a codfish.
Peter Pan: Louder!
Captain Hook: [wailing] I'M A CODFISH!
Captain James Hook: Proud and insolent youth! Prepare to meet thy doom!
Mr. Darling: [seeing the pirate ship floating in the sky back to Never Land] You know, I have the strangest feeling that I've seen that ship before. A long time ago, when I was very young.
Lost Boy (Bear): I think I had a mother once.
Lost Boy (Racoon): What was she like?
Lost Boy (Bear): I forget.
Lost Boy (Fox): I had a white rat.
Lost Boy (Bear): That's no mother!
[Wendy has walked the plank, and Peter saves her]
Mr. Starkey: No splash, Captain.
Captain Hook: So, you want a splash, Mr Starkey? I'll give you a splash!
[Hook throws Mr Starkey overboard]
Captain Hook: Who's next?
Peter Pan: You're next, Hook! This time you've gone too far!
Wendy: I think you have, Peter. And I daresay you've felt it yourself. For something... or... someone?
Peter: Never. Even the sound of it offends me.
[Wendy tries to touch his face, and he jumps away]
Peter: Why do you have to spoil everything? We have fun, don't we? I taught you to fly and to fight. What more could there be?
Wendy: There is so much more.
Peter: What? What else is there?
Wendy: I don't know. I guess it becomes clearer when you grow up.
Peter: Well, I will not grow up. You cannot make me!
Captain Hook: What of Pan? Will unhappy thoughts bring him down too?
Wendy: He has no unhappy thoughts.
Captain Hook: Oh... Well, what if his Wendy... walked the plank!
[the pirates see Peter Pan and the Darling children coming, so they get ready to shoot them down]
Captain Hook: I've waited years for this.
Mr. Smee: That's not countin' the holidays, either.
Children: I do believe in fairies, I do! I do!
Captain Hook: It is your requiem mass, boy!
Peter: Ready to lose the other one?
Captain Hook: Not this time.
Peter Pan: Don't you understand, Tink? You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!
Pirate: [advancing towards the children on Hook's ship] Stop that noise or I'll run you through! Believe in fairies, I do I do!
Wendy: How did Nana get your shadow, Peter?
Peter Pan: Chomped at me the other night at the window.
Wendy: But what were you doing there?
Peter Pan: I came to listen to your stories.
Wendy: My stories? But they're all about you.
Peter Pan: Of course! That's why I like 'em!
Captain Hook: Split my infinitives!
Peter Pan: Well, well, a codfish on a hook.
Captain Hook: I'll get you for this, Pan, if it's the last thing I do!
Mr. Smee: [outside the door where Captain Hook is sitting with a cold]
[holding a hammer]
Mr. Smee: Shhhh! The Captain has a splitting headache. We mustn't annoy him.
[looking away as Captain Hook comes out, about to attack Mr. Smee when Mr. Smee accidentally hits Captain Hook in the forehead with the hammer. Mr. Smee vibrates as Captain Hook staggers back into the room and collapses back onto the chair. Dazed. Smee walks in with a kettle of hot water. Takes a look at Captain Hook]
Mr. Smee: Well, Captain. It's nice to see you smiling again. Brings back the good old days when we was leading a healthy, normal life, scuttling ships, cutting throats.
[Puts a thermometer in Captain Hook's mouth]
Mr. Smee: Oh Captain, why don't we go to sea again?
[starts pouring the hot water into the bucket where Captain Hook's feet are]
Mr. Smee: You know, there's trouble brewing on the island. Women trouble. I wouldn't want this to go any farther, but...
[not realizing the bucket is filling with hot water]
Mr. Smee: the cook told me, that the first mate told him...
[the thermometer in Captain Hook's mouth starts to rise as Captain Hook's face turns red]
Mr. Smee: ...that he heard... that Pan has banished Tinkerbell.
[the thermometer pops at the end]
Captain Hook: WOOOOOAH!
[Jumps up off the chair out of the bucket of hot water with his feet red hot and bumps his head against the ceiling as Smee falls over]
Captain Hook: Why you doddering imbecile, I...
[pulls the kettle off of his head]
Captain Hook: Did you say Pan has banished Tinkerbell?
Wendy: What would mother think of my becoming a pirate?
Captain Hook: None of my crew will follow you... I swear it.
Pirate: Beg for your lives.
John: Sirs! My brother and I are English gentlemen. English gentlemen do not beg!
Michael: [Michael gets on his knees] ... Please. Please, don't kill me!
John: [John gets n his knees too] Please, don't kill me either!
Peter: Was it you, Tink?
Tink: [Tink gets a halo]
Tink: [in fairy language] Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Wendy: Littlest first. Michael?
[Wendy snaps back to "reality"]
Wendy: Michael. John. My brothers!
Peter: Who?
[Captain Hook and Mr. Smee have decided to kidnap Wendy so Peter Pan would never see her again]
Captain Hook: Come, Smee, we must leave immediately. We'll surround Peter's home...
Mr. Smee: But Captain, we don't know where Peter Pan lives.
Captain Hook: Great Scott, you're right, Smee!
[Tinker Bell flies over to them and then flies over to a map of Never Land]
Captain Hook: What's that, my dear? You could show us the way? Why, I never thought of that.
[to Smee]
Captain Hook: Take this down, Smee.
Mr. Smee: "Take this down, Smee." Aye-aye, Captain.
[Smee takes out a quill pen and a piece of paper while Tinker Bell dips her shoes in an inkwell and then lands on a part of the Never Land map marked Pegleg Point]
Captain Hook: Start at Pegleg Point...
Mr. Smee: [writing in the paper] "Start at Pegleg Point... "
[Tinker Bell walks across the map to another area marked Blindman's Bluff]
Captain Hook: Forty paces west to Blindman's Bluff...
Mr. Smee: [writing] "Blindman's Bluff... "
[Tinker Bell hops across a part of the map with a creek on it and then walks toward the northeastern end of the map]
Captain Hook: [nervously] Yes, yes. A hop, skip and a jump across Crocodile Creek and then nor' by nor'east, one, two, three...
[loses patience]
Captain Hook: Well, get on with...
[calms down]
Captain Hook: Continue, my dear.
[Tinker Bell suddenly gets angry and she flies up in Hook's face, wagging her finger at him]
Captain Hook: I mustn't harm Peter? Madam, Captain Hook gives his word not to lay a finger...
[Tinker Bell hooks her finger]
Captain Hook: ... or a hook... on Peter Pan.
[Tinker Bell flies over to an area of the Never Land map marked Hangman's Tree and puts an X on it with her inked shoe heels]
Captain Hook: Ah, Hangman's Tree! So *that's* the entrance to his hiding place!
[Hook grabs Tinker Bell and locks her in a lantern]
Captain Hook: Thank you, me dear, you've been most helpful.
Mr. Darling: [shouting] No. I must become a man that children fear and adults respect, or we shall all end up in the street.
Mrs. Darling: George, not so loud.
Aunt Millicent: George, the neighbors will hear.
Mr. Darling: Let them hear. Let the whole world know. This
[indicating Nanna]
Mr. Darling: is not a nurse. This... is a dog.
[to Wendy]
Mr. Darling: Tomorrow, you will begin your instruction with Aunt Millicent. It's time for you to grow up.
Captain Hook: Fly to the rescue, Pan. I'll shoot you... right through your noble intentions.
Peter: Then you are my friend no more.
[the time bomb that Hook had delivered Peter had just gone off]
Captain Hook: So passes on a worthy opponent.
Mr. Smee: Amen.
Wendy: Might I have time to consider your generous offer?
Captain Hook: Absolutely. You must!
Wendy: Who be you to order me about and call me girlie?
Mrs. Darling: And what's your name?
Nibs: Nibs. I plan the battles.
Mrs. Darling: Would you like a mother, Nibs?
Nibs: [crying] Yes!
Michael: [referring to Tinker Bell] Oh, look! A firefly!
Wendy: A pixie.
John: Amazing!
[Tinker Bell angrily gestures at Peter]
Michael: What's the pixie doing?
Peter Pan: Talking.
Wendy: What did she say?
Peter Pan: She says you're a big ugly girl!
[everybody laughs]
Wendy: Oh... well, I think she's lovely.
Captain Hook: So Peter Pan, this is all your doing?
Peter: Aye James Hook, it's all my doing.
Captain Hook: A jealous female can be tricked into anything.
Mr. Smee: Oh, dear, dear, dear, Captain Hook. Shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza? That ain't good form, you know.
Captain Hook: "Good form," Mr. Smee?
[suddenly yelling]
Captain Hook: Blast good form!
[waves his hook in front of Smee]
Captain Hook: Did Pan show good form when he did *this* to me?
Mr. Smee: Why, Captain, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank, you might say.
Captain Hook: Aye, but throwing it to that crocodile! That cursed beast liked the taste of me so well he's followed me ever since, licking his chops for the rest of me.
Mr. Smee: And he would've had you by now, Captain, if he hadn't swallowed that alarm clock. But now, when he's about, he'd warn you, as you might say, with his tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
Wendy: We must leave at once... before we, in turn, are forgotten.
Wendy: Oh! Mother, we're back!
Mr. Darling: Back?
Wendy: All except the lost boys. They were not quite ready.
Mr. Darling: Lost boys? Ready?
Wendy: To grow up. That's why they went back to Neverland.
Mr. Darling: Neverland?
Wendy: Well... I am.
Mr. Darling: Am...?
Wendy: Uh... ready to grow up.
Mr. Darling: Oh, oh! Well, my dear...
Wendy: Oh, we had such a wonderful time! Well, except when we were kidnapped...
Mr. Darling: Kidnapped?
Wendy: We had lots of fun with Tinker Bell, and the mermaids, and Peter Pan! Oh, he was the most wonderful person of them all! And then we called him a codfish!
[giggles]
Wendy: Uh... Captain Hook, I mean.
[calms down and starts talking in a dreamy tone]
Wendy: And then... we sailed away on a ship in the sky.
Mr. Darling: [weirded out by Wendy's story, yawns] Mary, I'm going to bed.
Indian Chief: How.
John, Lost Boy (Bear), Lost Boy (Fox), Lost Boy (Racoon), Michael: How, Chief. How.
Indian Chief: For many moons, red man fight paleface Lost Boys.
John, Lost Boy (Bear), Lost Boy (Fox), Lost Boy (Racoon), Michael: Ugh.
Indian Chief: Sometime, you win; sometime, we win.
Lost Boy (Bear): Okay, Chief. You win this time. Now turn us loose.
John: Turn us loose? You mean this is only a game?
Lost Boy (Fox): Sure. When we win, we turn them loose.
Lost Boy (Racoon): When they win, they turn us loose.
Indian Chief: This time, no turnum loose.
Lost Boy (Fox): Huh?
[laughs]
Lost Boy (Fox): The chief's a great spoofer!
Indian Chief: Me no spoofum! Where you hide Princess Tiger Lily?
Lost Boy (Bear): Uh, Tiger Lily?
Lost Boy (Fox): We ain't got your ol' princess!
John: I certainly have never seen her.
Lost Boy (Racoon): Me neither.
Indian Chief: Heap big lie! If Tiger Lily not back by sunset... burnum at stake.
Captain Hook: [to Wendy] Didst thou ever want to be a pirate?
Mr. Smee: [referring to Neverland] This ain't no place for a respectable pirate.
Captain Hook: Blast that Peter Pan! If I could only find his hideout, I'd trap him in his lair. But where is it?
[He examines a map of Neverland]
Captain Hook: Mermaid Lagoon? No, we've search that. And we've combed Cannibal Cove.
[He then lands his hook on an area of the map marked Indian Camp]
Captain Hook: Here! No. No, no, no, that's Indian territ... But wait. Those redskins know this island better than I do me own ship. Ah, I wonder.
Mr. Smee: [walking up] Good morning, Captain.
Captain Hook: [grabbing Smee] I've got it! Tiger Lily, Smee!
Mr. Smee: [nervously] T-T-Tiger Lily, Captain?
Captain Hook: The chief's daughter. She'll know where Pan is hiding.
Mr. Smee: B-B-But-But will she talk, Captain?
Captain Hook: Oh, a little persuasion might be in order. Now let me see... Boiling in oil? Uh, keelhauling? Eh, marooning?
John: Michael, are you shot?
Michael: I haven't checked yet, but there's something worser.
John: Oh, what could be worse?
Michael: My thoughts aren't very happy!
[they both fall]
Aunt Millicent: A hidden kiss.
Wendy: But what is it for?
Aunt Millicent: It is for the greatest adventure of all. They that find it have slipped in and out of Heaven.
Wendy: Find what?
Aunt Millicent: The one the kiss belongs to.
Peter: There's mermaids.
Wendy: Mermaids?
Peter: Indians.
John and Michael: Indians?
Peter: Pirates.
John and Michael: Pirates? Wahoo.
Wendy: Boy, why are you crying?
Wendy: My unfulfilled ambition is to write a great novel in three parts about my adventures.
Aunt Millicent: What adventures?
Wendy: I've yet to have them, but they will be perfectly thrilling.
Captain Hook: Fly! Fly! Fly! You coward!
Peter Pan: Coward! Me?
Captain Hook: Ha-ha-ha! You wouldn't dare fight old Hook man-to-man. You'd fly away like a cowardly sparrow!
Peter Pan: Nobody calls Pan a coward and lives! I'll fight you man-to-man, with one hand behind my back.
Captain Hook: You mean you won't fly?
Wendy: No, don't, Peter! It's a trick!
Peter Pan: I give my word, Hook.
Captain Hook: Good, then let's have at it!
Squaw: Squaw get 'em firewood!
Wendy: Squaw no get 'em firewood! Squaw go home!
Peter Pan: Mr. Crocodile, do you like codfish?
[crocodile nods]
Peter Pan: You *do*?
[On Wendy being their mother]
Slightly: And isn't she just first class?
Wendy: But, Peter, how do we get to Never Land?
Peter Pan: Fly, of course.
Wendy: Fly?
Peter Pan: It's easy! All you have to do is to... is to... is to... Ha! That's funny.
Wendy: What's the matter? Don't you know?
Peter Pan: Oh, sure. It's... It's just that I never thought about it before. Say, that's it! You think of a wonderful thought.
[Mr. Smee has captured a brooding Tinker Bell and taken her to Captain Hook, who is playing the piano, while Smee is drinking]
Captain Hook: Yes, Miss Bell, Captain Hook admits defeat. Tomorrow, I leave the island, never to return.
Mr. Smee: I'm glad to hear that, Captain.
[he hiccups]
Mr. Smee: I'll tell the crew and...
[he hiccups again and tries to leave, but Hook trips him up and he falls down]
Captain Hook: [to Tinker Bell] And that's why I asked you over, me dear, to tell Peter I bear him no ill will. Oh, Pan has his faults, to be sure. Bringing that Wendy to the island, for instance. Dangerous business, that. Why, rumor has it that already she has come between you and Peter.
[he notices that Tinker Bell is on the verge of tears]
Captain Hook: But what's this? Tears? Then it *is* true.
[to Smee]
Captain Hook: Oh, Smee, the way of a man with a maid: taking the best years of her life and then casting her aside like an old glove!
Mr. Smee: [crying] Ain't it a bloomin'...
[he hiccups]
Mr. Smee: ... shame?
Captain Hook: [handing a handkerchief to Tinker Bell] But we musn't judge Peter too harshly, my dear. It's that Wendy who's to blame.
[Tinker Ball nods in agreement; Hook then turns to Smee]
Captain Hook: Mr. Smee, we must save the lad from himself. But how?
[Smee just cries]
Captain Hook: We've so little time; we sail in the morning. Sail? That's it, Smee!
[he slaps Smee on the back and Smee falls down again]
Captain Hook: We'll shanghai Wendy!
Mr. Smee: Shanghai Wendy, Captain?
Captain Hook: Take her to sea with us. With her gone, Peter will soon forget this mad infatuation.
Mr. Darling: Wendy, haven't I warned you? Stuffing the boys heads with a lot of silly stories?
Wendy: Oh, but they aren't.
Mr. Darling: I say they are. Captain Crook! Peter Pirate!
Wendy: Peter Pan, Father.
Mr. Darling: Pan... Pirate... Poppycock!
Wendy: Oh, no, Father!
John: Oh my gosh!
Wendy: How can you...?
Mr. Darling: Absolute poppycock!
Slightly: Well, we have our orders! Shoot the Wendy bird.
Mrs. Darling: Now, George...
Mr. Darling: "Now, George". "Now, George"! Well, "now, George" will have his say!
Slightly: Wendy lady, for you we built this house, with a door knocker.
Tootles: And a chimney.
Slightly: [whispers] 1, 2, 3...
The Lost Boys: Please be our mother!
Wendy: You can't stick it on with soap, Peter. It needs sewing. That's the proper way to do it. Although, come to think of it, I've never thought about it before... um... sewing shadows, I mean.
Wendy: What's the chief doing, John?
John: He's giving an oration in sign language.
Michael: What's he saying?
John: He says... "Peter Pan... mighty warrior... save Tigerlily... make big chief... heap glad."
Wendy: [jokingly] Well, he certainly doesn't look "heap glad".
Mr. Smee: [singing] Crook... crook... crickety-crockety crickety-crook, the croc is after Captain Hook -
[Hook hits him on the head]
[Mr. Darling is putting out Nana for the night and he leashes her with a rope to her doghouse. She looks at him sadly]
Mr. Darling: Dash it all, Nana, don't look at me like that. It's nothing personal, it's just that... well, you're not really a nurse at all, you're... well, a dog. And the children aren't puppies, they're people. And sooner or later, Nana, people have to grow up.
Peter Pan: Well, I'm certainly proud of you... you blockheads!
John: [as Captain Hook] Blast you, Peter Pan!
Michael: [as Peter Pan] Take that! Give up, Captain Hook? You give up?
John: Never! I'll teach you to cut off me hand!
Wendy: [coming in; chuckling] Oh, no, John, it was the *left* hand.
John: Oh, yes. Thank you, Wendy.
Mrs. Darling: George, dear, do hurry. We mustn't be late for the party, you know.
Narrator: Mrs. Darling believed that Peter Pan was a great hero, but Mr. Darling...
Mr. Darling: Mary, unless I find my cufflinks, we don't go to the party! If we don't go to the party, I can never show my face in the office again! If I could ever...
[hits his head on the drawer]
Mr. Darling: Ouch!
Narrator: Well... Mr. Darling was a practical man.
Captain Hook: [catching Mr. Smee leaving his cabin] And where do you think you are going?
Mr. Smee: To tell the boys we sails with the tide, sir.
Captain Hook: You will go ashore, pick up Tinker Bell, and bring her to me.
[shouts]
Captain Hook: UNDERSTAND?
Mr. Smee: [saluting Hook] Aye-aye sir!
[Mr. Smee charges through the wall, lands in a boat, goes flying overboard and rows to the shore very fast]
Slightly: So looking forward to being your son.
Peter Pan: What a pity, Mr Smee. I'm afraid we've lost the dear Captain.
Mr. Smee: [Catches Tinkerbell using his hat as a sack] Begging your pardon Miss Bell, but Captain Hook would like a word with you.
Michael: Mother, can anything harm us after the night lights are lit?
Mrs. Darling: No, Precious. They are the eyes a mother leaves behind to guard her children.
Slightly: Brace yourself, lads. He's going to spin!
Smee: It's all a bit tragic, really, isn't it?
Slightly: Brace yerselves lads.
Wendy: Why do you hate him so?

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