An Air Force astronaut crash lands on a mysterious planet where evolved, talking apes dominate a race of primitive humans.

[the first words ever spoken by a human to the apes]
George Taylor: Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!
[last lines]
George Taylor: Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it.
[screaming]
George Taylor: You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
Cornelius: [reading from the sacred scrolls of the apes] Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death.
Dr. Zaius: You are right, I have always known about man. From the evidence, I believe his wisdom must walk hand and hand with his idiocy. His emotions must rule his brain. He must be a warlike creature who gives battle to everything around him, even himself.
[first lines]
George Taylor: And that completes my final report until we reach touchdown. We're now on full automatic, in the hands of the computers. I have tucked my crew in for the long sleep and I'll be joining them soon. In less than an hour, we'll finish our sixth month out of Cape Kennedy. Six months in deep space - by our time, that is. According to Dr. Haslein's theory of time, in a vehicle travelling nearly the speed of light, the Earth has aged nearly 700 years since we left it, while we've aged hardly at all. Maybe so. This much is probably true - the men who sent us on this journey are long since dead and gone. You who are reading me now are a different breed - I hope a better one. I leave the 20th century with no regrets. But one more thing - if anybody's listening, that is. Nothing scientific. It's purely personal. But seen from out here everything seems different. Time bends. Space is boundless. It squashes a man's ego. I feel lonely. That's about it. Tell me, though. Does man, that marvel of the universe, that glorious paradox who sent me to the stars, still make war against his brother? Keep his neighbor's children starving?
Dr. Zira: What will he find out there, doctor?
Dr. Zaius: His destiny.
George Taylor: It's a mad house! A mad house!
[Taylor ties up Dr. Zaius]
Dr. Zira: Taylor! Don't treat him that way!
George Taylor: Why not?
Dr. Zira: It's humiliating!
George Taylor: The way you humiliated me? All of you? YOU led me around on a LEASH!
Cornelius: That was different. We thought you were inferior.
George Taylor: Now you know better.
Dr. Zaius: The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise. Your breed made a desert of it, ages ago.
George Taylor: Imagine me needing someone. Back on Earth I never did. Oh, there were women. Lots of women. Lots of love-making but no love. You see, that was the kind of world we'd made. So I left, because there was no one to hold me there.
George Taylor: I'm a seeker too. But my dreams aren't like yours. I can't help thinking that somewhere in the universe there has to be something better than man. Has to be.
Attar: Get your stinking hands off me, you damn dirty human!
George Taylor: A planet where apes evolved from men? There's got to be an answer.
Dr. Zaius: Don't look for it, Taylor. You may not like what you find.
George Taylor: Doctor, would an ape make a human doll that TALKS?
Honorious: Tell us, why are all apes created equal?
George Taylor: Some apes, it seems, are more equal than others.
Dr. Zaius: I see you've brought the female of your species. I didn't realize that man could be monogamous.
George Taylor: On this planet, it's easy.
[brandishing a rifle]
George Taylor: Don't try to follow me. I'm pretty handy with this.
Dr. Zaius: Of that I'm sure. All my life I've awaited your coming and dreaded it.
George Taylor: Doctor, I'd like to kiss you goodbye.
Dr. Zira: All right, but you're so damned ugly.
George Taylor: There's your Minister of Science; honor-bound to expand the frontiers of knowledge...
Dr. Zira: Taylor, please!
George Taylor: ...except that he's also chief Defender of the Faith!
Dr. Zaius: There is no contradiction between faith and science... true science!
George Taylor: Are you willing to put that statement to the test?
Cornelius: Taylor, I would much rather...
George Taylor: Take it easy... you saved me from this fanatic, maybe I can return the favor!
[to Dr. Zaius after he finds a lobotomized Landon]
George Taylor: You did it. You cut up his brain, you bloody baboon!
Cornelius: Taylor, you are not in command here. Put down that gun!
George Taylor: Shut up!
Cornelius: Well Taylor, we're all fugitives now.
George Taylor: Do you have any weapons, any guns?
Cornelius: The best, but we won't need them.
George Taylor: I'm glad to hear it. I want one anyway.
[after seeing Taylor shave off his beard]
Lucius: Why did you do that? Scrape off your hair?
George Taylor: In my world, when I left it, only kids your age wore beards.
Julius: You know the saying, "Human see, human do."
Julius: [Julius stops hosing Taylor briefly] Shut, up you freak!
George Taylor: Julius, you...
Julius: [He turns on the hose again] I said shut up!
George Taylor: [to Lucius] Remember, never trust anybody over 30.
George Taylor: If this is the best they've got around here, in six months we'll be running this planet.
Captain Leo Davidson: The smarter we get, the more dangerous we become.
Limbo: The young ones make great pets. Just make sure you get rid of them before they mature. Believe me, the last thing you want is a human teenager running around your house.
George Taylor: Chalk up another victory to the human spirit.
Dr. Zaius: Have you forgotten your scripture, the thirteenth scroll? "And Proteus brought the upright beast into the garden and chained him to a tree and the children did make sport of him."
Dr. Zaius: Dr. Zira, I must caution you. Experimental brain surgery on these creatures is one thing, and I'm all in favor of it. But your behavior studies are another matter. To suggest that we can learn anything about the simian nature from a study of man is sheer nonsense. Why, man is a nuisance. He eats up his food supply in the forest, then migrates to our green belts and ravages our crops. The sooner he is exterminated, the better. It's a question of simian survival.
Lucius: You can't trust the older generation.
Dodge: [On deciding where to continue next] Which direction?
George Taylor: That way...
Dodge: Any particular reason?
George Taylor: [sarcastically] None at all...
Landon: [Reflecting on Stewart's death and Taylor's reaction to it] You don't seem too cut up about it...
George Taylor: It's too late for a wake. She's been dead nearly a year.
[Prying open Leo's mouth and looking down his throat, as though looking for a soul]
General Thade: Is there a soul in there?
Limbo: Can't we all just get along?
George Taylor: What evidence? There were no weapons in that cave.
Limbo: How many times do I have to tell you? Wear you gloves when you handle humans!
[Leo notices the human mark on Ari's hand]
Ari: I can't go home either now. So, maybe we're not so different.
Captain Leo Davidson: No, we're very different.
[Ari looks at him sadly]
Captain Leo Davidson: You care about everybody, but yourself.
Limbo: [referring to cuffs] No, no, no, I don't need those anymore.
Gunnar: Says who?
Limbo: Says them! They tried to KILL me! Like I was nothing but a - miserable...
Gunnar: Human?
George Taylor: [to Nova] Did I tell you about Stewart? Now there was a lovely girl.
George Taylor: The most precious cargo we'd brought along, she was... to be the new Eve.
George Taylor: With our hot and eager help, of course.
George Taylor: Probably just as well she didn't make it this far.
Dr. Zira: But what about your theory? The existence of someone like Taylor might prove it.
Cornelius: Zira, do you want to get my head chopped off?
Dr. Zira: Oh, don't be foolish. If it's true, they'll have to accept it.
Cornelius: [chuckles] No, they won't.
Dr. Zaius: You are a menace. A walking pestilence.
Limbo: [looking at captured humans] Are you trying to put me out of business? These are the skankiest, scabbiest, scuzziest humans I've ever seen.
General Thade: Get me the spaceman!
General Thade: Everything in the human culture takes place below the waist!
Thade's Father: Damn them!
General Thade: I will stop him, father.
Thade's Father: Damn them... damn them all to hell!
Limbo: Apes in cages... right!
[to Leo in regarding Earth]
Ari: I'd like to see your world.
Captain Leo Davidson: I know. But they'd probably pry you and poke you and throw you in a cage too.
Ari: [smiles] You'd protect me.
[Leo smiles]
Dodge: The question is not so much where we are as when we are.
Senator Nado: [to Ari about humans] Next you'll be telling us that these beasts have a soul.
Tival: They all want to see this human who defies the apes.
Daena: What tribe are you from?
Captain Leo Davidson: United States Air Force, and I'm going back.
[When confronting each other on the battle field]
Krull: My fight is with Thade, not you.
Attar: Then your fight, is with me.
Captain Leo Davidson: Time to explain evolution to the monkeys.
Sandar: Senator Nado, good evening!
Senator Nado: [Mutters]
Sandar: My dear, you look lovely!
Nova: Thank you, but I'm having a bad hair day.
[first lines]
Captain Leo Davidson: [to Pericles, who is panicking during a simulated space mission] You lost.
Captain Leo Davidson: [stops the simulation] Again.
[When telling the human tribes to run away while they can]
Captain Leo Davidson: Look, you gotta make your people understand, it's over there's no help coming.
Daena: You came.
Tival: Apes are afraid of water. They can't swim.
Ari: We drown!
Daena: That is why every day we pray for rain.
Captain Leo Davidson: Our apes couldn't talk.
Ari: Maybe they chose not to... given the way you treated them.
Limbo: [after being cuffed by cuffs used for humans] Ow! These things hurt!
Limbo: [emerging from his hiding place] Oh! It's over already? I was *just* about to make my move...
Ari: [blocking Limbo] You kill him, and you'll only lower yourself to his level.
Limbo: Exactly!
Captain Leo Davidson: I think it's fair to call this hostile territory.
Dr. Zaius: Ah, yes - the young ape with a shovel. I hear you're planning another archeological expedition. Cornelius, a friendly word of warning - as you dig for artifacts, be sure you don't bury your reputation.
Captain Leo Davidson: Never send a monkey to do a man's job.
Ari: It's disgusting the way we treat humans.
Ari: You know one day they'll tell a story about a human who came from the stars and changed our world. Some will say it was just a fairy tale, but, it was never real. But I'll know.
George Taylor: Well, at least they haven't tried to bite us.
Limbo: [Referring to the captured humans] All right, get 'em out and get 'em clean! Chop chop!
Ari: Stop it! Who told you, you could throw stones at humans?
Gorilla kid: My father
Ari: Did he ?He's wrong very wrong. You can tell him for me I said so.
Gorilla kid: Human lover!
Gunnar: You're letting him go?
Captain Leo Davidson: No, he rides with us.
Limbo: Wha? Wha?
[whining]
Limbo: This is suicide!
Limbo: [after others move away] Only a human would think riding through an army encampment could work.
Captain Leo Davidson: How did the apes get this way?
Daena: What other way would they be?
Captain Leo Davidson: They would be begging me for a treat right now.
Zaius, Thade's Father: [about humans] I warn you their ingenuity goes hand in hand with their cruelty. No creature is as devious, as violent. You must find this human quickly! Don't let him get to Calima!
Captain Leo Davidson: I'm going to get my chimp.
[while holding a gun on Limbo]
Captain Leo Davidson: Play dead.
Limbo: Y'know, I'd like to thank you, for opening my eyes to a brave new world of trade with the humans.
Captain Leo Davidson: Yeah, no problem.
Limbo: Farewell, Spaceman!
Limbo: [immediately turns around to a group of children] Now, who wants to buy some aspirin?
Leader of the hunt: I don't understand these animal psychologists. What is Dr. Zira trying to prove?
Dr. Zaius: That man can be domesticated.
[the hunt leader begins to laugh in disbelief]
Captain Leo Davidson: Shut up! That goes for all species.
Captain Leo Davidson: We're in control now! We're the 800 pound gorilla!
Child Ape: Look! It's a man!
General Thade: Extremism in defense of apes is no vice.
Lt. Col.Grace Alexander: What? Was the Homo sapien mean to you again? We all know its just rocket envy, don't we?
Captain Leo Davidson: Ever consider an actual boyfriend?
Lt. Col.Grace Alexander: You mean do I enjoy being miserable? No thanks, I'll stick with my chimps.
Krull: Monkeys are further down the evolutionary ladder,
[groaning]
Krull: just above humans!
Captain Leo Davidson: [referring to Calima] Well, that's where my crew is so that's where we're going.
Limbo: Doesn't he ever stop?
Ari: Hm, I knew it, you're sensitive. An uncommon quality in a man.
Krull: [groans]

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