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After an experimental bio-weapon is released, turning thousands into zombie-like creatures, it's up to a rag-tag group of survivors to stop the infected and those behind its release.
Tony Block: I'm gonna eat your brains and gain your knowledge.
Dr. Dakota Block: Hi, Joe. I'm going to give you a very strong anesthetic, so you won't feel anything during the procedure. These... [pats the needles in her shirt pocket] Dr. Dakota Block: ...are my friends. My yellow friend is to take the sting off. [injects Joe in the arm with the yellow needle] Dr. Dakota Block: My blue friend you'll barely feel. [injects Joe in the arm with the blue needle] Dr. Dakota Block: That means my yellow friend is already taking effect. See how fast my friends work? [injects Joe in the arm with the red needle] Dr. Dakota Block: And after my red-headed friend, you'll never see me again. [Joe slobbers over himself and passes out]
Dr. Dakota Block: No more dead bodies for Daddy tonight.
Abby: You killed Bin Laden? Lt. Muldoon: I put two in his heart, one in his computer. El Wray: So that was you.
Sheriff Hague: Try not to shoot yourselves. Don't shoot each other. But especially... don't shoot me.
Skip: It's go go, not cry cry.
The Rapist: I've seen me a lot of weird shit in my day, but I ain't never seen a one-legged stripper. I seen me a stripper with one breast. And I seen me a stripper with twelve toes. I've even seen me a stripper with no brains at all, but I ain't never seen a one-legged stripper. And I've been to Morocco.
Earl McGraw: You don't smoke, do you, Wray? El Wray: Nope. Earl McGraw: That's... probably good. [El Wray immediately lights up a cigarette after Earl leaves]
Dr. Dakota Block: Tony, if anyone comes up to the car, I want you to shoot them. Just like in your video games: shoot them in the head. Tony Block: What if it's dad? Dr. Dakota Block: Especially if it's your dad!
Sheriff Hague: Now you've got a gal in your wrecked truck with a missing leg? A missing leg that's now missing?
Tony Block: [while playing with toys] I'm gonna eat your brains and gain your knowledge.
Cherry Darling: I broke my leg. El Wray: That's okay, [pulls her broken wooden leg off] El Wray: I made you something. [installs the Machine Gun leg] El Wray: I DO believe in you, always have. I believe you could be better. You deserve better, even better than me. Right now, I need you to become who you were meant to be. Stand!
[repeated line] Cherry Darling: I was going to be a stand-up comedian.
The Rapist: You're a dancer? Cherry Darling: I was earlier tonight. The Rapist: [grabs Cherry by her hair] Well, I'm pulling you out of retirement!
El Wray: [dying] Go. Leave me. Cherry Darling: I am not leaving you here like this. Motherfuckers around here eat road kill. [El Wray laughs] Cherry Darling: See? I'm funny. I made you laugh. El Wray: Go to the ocean. Put your backs to it and protect yourselves there. Cherry Darling: I'm not leaving you, Wray. Two against the world. El Wray: It will be. I promise. [touches her stomach] El Wray: I never miss.
Sheriff Hague: Where the hell are you going? El Wray: I'm going to get Cherry. Sheriff Hague: Fine, but we're taking my car. [his car explodes] Sheriff Hague: [looking back at Wray] I'm riding with you.
Cherry Darling: I'm Cherry. Dr. Dakota Block: You sure are.
[repeated line] El Wray: I never miss.
Romy: [nervous tone] Uh... hi Abby. How's it going? Abby: [notices an empty cage nearby with bent-out bars] I see you've run into a spot of trouble while I was away. You mind telling me what happened? Romy: [continues to stammer] Uh... I don't know. They just... escaped. Abby: All three? Romy: Uh... yeah. I... don't know how they did it. I just went left for a little while and when I came back... it... well... Abby: I'm sorry, Romy. I just don't trust you anymore. You are the most incompetent employee I've ever employed. You know the penalty for failure. You enforce the rules yourself. Romy: [more nervous] All right... Abby you win. I'm out. I'm finished. You'll never see me again. I'll get my things and get out of here. Abby: Not so fast! [one of Abby's men brings over a large jug of formaldehyde with various circle-shaped objects in it] Abby: I also want your balls for my collection! [Abby tosses Romy a large knife; Romy hesitates] Abby: It would be easier if you do it yourself. Just drop your pants, chop them off, and give them to me. Then... I might consider letting you live. Romy: [on the verge of tears] Uh... Abby... I'm really attached to them. Abby: [sarcastic] Oh, sweetheart I was really attached to my specimens. And now, thanks to you and your incompetence, they're out there in the night doing God knows what.
J.T. Hague: That boy's got the devil in him.
J.T. Hague: Hey, hey. You want some barbeque? Best in Texas. Cherry Darling: Oh, no thanks. J.T. Hague: What's the matter? You don't eat meat? Cherry Darling: Oh, I eat meat. I also eat lots of shit. [grins] Cherry Darling: See that? J.T. Hague: What's that? Cherry Darling: Shit-eating grin. J.T. Hague: [laughs] You ought to be a comedian. Cherry Darling: What do you think of the leg? J.T. Hague: [laughs] Sure is funny.
[Dr. Block joins Dr. Felix as they look on at several infected people in the hospital ER... all of them slowly turning into 'Sickos'] Dr. Felix: Viral infections. They came pouring in. Some are rapidly developing coliform leisions... highly contagious. What do you think? Dr. William Block: Self preservation comes to mind.
El Wray: So what are you going to do now? Cherry Darling: I'm going to be a stand-up comedian. El Wray: You're not funny. Cherry Darling: That's what I keep trying to tell everybody but they all say I'm hilarious. El Wray: But you're not. Cherry Darling: There's a difference between being frank... and being dick.
Cherry Darling: [astonished that Dakota has shot The Rapist with a syringe] Where'd you learn to do THAT? Dr. Dakota Block: Useless Talent #37.
Cherry Darling: [after seeing Abby get his head blown off] I don't suppose anyone else here is a bio-chemical engineer? El Wray: [no one replies] I'll take that as a "no."
[watching Cherry and Dakota on a TV monitor] The Rapist: I'm gettin' my dick wet. Rapist #2: She's only got one leg. The Rapist: Easier access. Rapist #2: Oh... that is a good point.
The Rapist: [muffled under the mask] Do you like Ava Gardner? Cherry Darling: Sorry? The Rapist: [removes his mask] Ava Gardner, do you like her? Cherry Darling: Yeah, I guess... The Rapist: I was just thinking that you, uh, kinda look like Ava Gardner a little bit. [pulls out his pistol] The Rapist: You know what this is? Cherry Darling: A gun... The Rapist: It's simplicity itself: you see, you point it at what you wanta die, and you pull the little trigger here, and a little bullet comes outta here, and the little bullet hits you [taps her between the eyes] The Rapist: right there! And you know what? You don't look like Ava Gardner no more.
El Wray: I need someone to drive my truck. Sheriff Hague: I'll do it. El Wray: You're bleeding like a stuck pig. Your vision is probably blurred, and you're on your last leg... Sheriff Hague: [sarcastic] Anything else? El Wray: Don't wreck it.
El Wray: I like the way you say 'fuck'. Cherry Darling: Good. Fuck you.
[repeated line] El Wray: That's my jacket. I looked for it for two weeks.
Cherry Darling: Name's Cherry Darling... El Wray: Sounds like a stripper name. Cherry Darling: No, it sounds like a go-go dancer name. There's a difference.
Lt. Muldoon: [Abby's laying on the ground, surrounded by the testicles he's taken as prizes] Looks like I've got you by the balls...
[first lines] Skip: Real pretty tonight, Holly. [two girls are kissing] Skip: Goddammit, girls - if you're gonna do that shit, do it onstage! [walks away] Skip: Smokin' hot. Whew!
Tammy: Are you okay? Cherry Darling: I'm just Cherry!
[repeated line] J.T. Hague: Best in Texas.
Cherry Darling: You could carry me, Wray. El Wray: You never wanted that before. Why start now?
J.T. Hague: You're the second person to show up tonight. El Wray: Who's the first? J.T. Hague: [nods to Cherry] Right there. Must be passin' through. Seems only strangers eat here. El Wray: [picking up his coffee] I still eat here, J.T. J.T. Hague: Oh, yeah, you sure do. By the way, don't choke on all that food you're eatin'.
Sheriff Hague: Give him the gun. Give him all the guns.
[last lines] Cherry Darling: It's beautiful. *She's* beautiful. I wish you could see us, us two. It's like you said it would be. Two against the world, baby. Two against the world.
El Wray: Get up. We're leaving. Cherry Darling: I can't walk. El Wray: So what? Get up! Cherry Darling: Motherfucker! Look at me! [removes blanket to reveal her missing leg] Cherry Darling: Look at me! I was gonna be a stand-up comedian! Who's gonna laugh now? El Wray: Some of the best jokes are about cripples. Let's go. Cherry Darling: It's not funny. I'm pathetic. El Wray: Would you stop crying over fucking spilt milk? Cherry Darling: I have no leg! [looking frustrated, El Wray rips off a wooden table leg and shoves it in Cherry's stump] El Wray: Now you do. What do you think?
Tony Block: [puts a hand to his mouth and holds up a tooth] Hey mom, another tooth fell out! [Dakota stares at Tony] Tony Block: Your tooth fell out too... [Dakota examines her smile in the rear view and sees she has a chipped tooth] Tony Block: ...we're toothless buddies. Dr. Dakota Block: We sure are, sweetie...
Dr. Dakota Block: Goodbye, Bill. Dr. William Block: Don't you mean "see you later"? Dr. Dakota Block: Of course.
Cherry Darling: You're a doctor? Dr. Dakota Block: Hmm. I was earlier tonight. Cherry Darling: I always wanted to be a doctor, instead, I can do this. [Cherry arches her body up in a bridge position] Cherry Darling: Useless talent number 66. I'm very pliable. Dr. Dakota Block: You know, my girlfriend had a theory. She said at some point in your life, you find a use for every useless talent you ever had. It's like connecting the dots. Cherry Darling: I'm not that optimistic. I feel like I'm sinking down a drain and I can't get out. Dr. Dakota Block: She'd say, "when you're stuck in that spiral, you reach up". Cherry Darling: What if there's nothing up there? Dr. Dakota Block: Just reach up.
El Wray: Did you find what was in the pocket? Cherry Darling: Fuck no. El Wray: Look for it. [Cherry searches through one pocket] El Wray: No, the other one. [Cherry searches through the other pocket and takes out a box with a ring inside it] El Wray: I was gonna give it to you, but you left me. 'Cuz you took the jacket... Cherry Darling: [saying it at the same time as El Wray] ... and I looked for it for two weeks. El Wray: Read it. Cherry Darling: Two against the world. El Wray: Remember that? Cherry Darling: I never forgot it.
Cherry Darling: Look, you were being an unbelievable dick. I was walking out on you. I was cold, I took your fucking jacket. So, if you're go on one of your psycho, obsessive, controlling rants about a fucking jacket, then fucking take it 'cause I'd rather fucking freeze than fucking hear about it one more time!
Earl McGraw: [after shooting Doc Block] Never did like that son of a bitch. About as useless as a pecker on a pope.
Babysitter Twin #1: [to Dakota] Where do you think you're going, you fucking bitch?
J.T. Hague: [after checking out Tammy] Now THAT'S a rump roast.
Earl McGraw: God, dammit! Ramona, you've been fartin' like a goddamned pack mule.
Sheriff Hague: I was thinking, we could build a new place right there where the old one was. You cook, I work the back. J.T. Hague: You don't make that rent so God-Damn high. Sheriff Hague: We share the recipe, we share the rent. J.T. Hague: Start at 250 degrees. Sheriff Hague: [Pulls a note pad and pen out] I knew it. For how long? J.T. Hague: 12 pounds? Sheriff Hague: Sure. J.T. Hague: 12 pounds, 12 hours. Sheriff Hague: Wrapped in tin foil, right? J.T. Hague: I don't use no goddamn foil. Sheriff Hague: Damn. Tomatoes? Fresh? J.T. Hague: Canned. Sheriff Hague: No Shit? J.T. Hague: Yeah. Sheriff Hague: You score me some? J.T. Hague: Oh Yeah, cause we're brothers. Sheriff Hague: Thank you for this. J.T. Hague: You just remember, you got to take this recipe to your grave. Sheriff Hague: I think I can... goddamn guarantee that. [Dies] J.T. Hague: Heh heh heh heh heh heh! [Blows up the quarantine chamber]
[Wray and Deputy Tolo drag a wounded and bleeding from the neck Sheriff Hague from the outside] Sheriff Hague: I figured that one of my new deputies might end up shooting me... but not you, Tolo!
Sheriff Hague: You cook that meat at 250 degrees don't you? J.T. Hague: I don't remember. I set the heat with my hands. Sheriff Hague: You give me that recipe or I'll raise your rent higher than a Georgia pine. J.T. Hague: Brother, ain't no Texan's ever gonna give you his BBQ recipe, that's a fact! He'll take it to his grave! I could be bleedin' like a stuck pig and I ain't gonna tell ya! I could be dyin' in your arms and I ain't gonna tell ya! [hangs up phone] J.T. Hague: Heh heh heh! Sheriff Hague: [to himself] We'll see about that.
The Rapist: [after Cherry breaks her leg in his eye] I bet you thought that was pretty funny? You gave me some wood, now I'm gonna give you... [pulls down pants] The Rapist: ...some fucking wood! [Cherry, Dakota, and even the second rapist look with shock and disgust as the rapist's genetilia begins melting off!] Rapist #2: Gas! You need gas! Put your mask back on! The Rapist: No, no, fuck the gas. I'm just gonna have to make this quick!
Lt. Muldoon: Where's... the... shit?
Cherry Darling: [her wooden leg is stuck in the truck door] My leg's stuck. Pull over. El Wray: It's just wood. Cherry Darling: It's splintering! El Wray: Would you just leave it alone? Cherry Darling: Why do you have to be so mean? El Wray: Just, just do me a favor, alright? Stay strong. Cherry Darling: Stay? El Wray: Yeah, baby. Stay.
Babysitter Twin #1: Conio chica, you said 10 pm! We can't be watching your kid all goddamn night! Babysitter Twin #2: That's right! Babysitter Twin #1: Your friend never showed up, and we've got shit to do! Dr. Dakota Block: Then start doing it! [pushes both twins out the front door]
J.T. Hague: Grab the slaw! Can't have a barbeque without the slaw! Babysitter Twin #1: We need guns! [J.T. hands both babysitter twins large, pump-action, shotguns] Babysitter Twin #2: Fucking cool!
Lt. Muldoon: You want the story? I'll spin it for you quick.