Substance-addicted Hollywood actress Suzanne Vale is on the skids. After a spell at a detox centre her film company insists as a condition of continuing to employ her that she live with her... See full summary¬†¬Ľ

Doris: Will you please tell me what is this awful thing I did to you when you were a child!
Suzanne: Okay, you want to know? Do you?
Doris: I want to know! Tell me!
Suzanne: Okay, FINE! From the time I was 9 years old, you gave me sleeping pills!
Doris: That was over-the-counter medication, and I gave it to you because you couldn't sleep!
Suzanne: Mom! You don't give children sleeping pills when they can't sleep!
Doris: They were not sleeping pills! It was store-bought and it was perfectly SAFE! Now don't blame ME for your drug-taking! I do not blame my mother for my misfortunes or for my drinking!
Suzanne: Well, you don't acknowledge that you drink. How could you possibly blame your mother for something you don't even do? Remember my 17th birthday party when you lifted your skirt up in front of all those people, including that guy, Michael?
Doris: I did not lift my skirt, it TWIRLED UP! You only remember the bad stuff, don't you? What about the big band that I got to play at that party? Do you remember that? No! You only remembered that my skirt accidentally TWIRLED UP!
Suzanne: And you weren't wearing any underwear.
Doris: Well...
Suzanne: Thanks GOD I got sober now so I can be hyper-conscious for this series of humiliations.
Suzanne: Mom, this is my roommate, Aretha.
Doris: Aretha, what an unusual name.
Aretha: Yes, I think my parents were expecting someone black.
[Suzanne laughs]
Doris: [confused] Are you black?
Aretha: Ummm, no. It was nice to meet you; Suzanne has told me so much about you. I think I'll just go weave a basket or something and let the two of you visit.
Doris: You know what they say. No pain, no gain.
Suzanne: Well, no wonder I'm so hefty.
Doris: Hefty? If you ask me I think you're too thin. Now my stomach, that's hefty.
Suzanne: I was kidding.
Doris: I don't get your generation's humor most of the time.
Suzanne: I don't have a generation.
Marty Wiener: Then I think you should get one.
Doris: What is wrong with your hair?
Suzanne: I dunno; it's all the rage in the rehab.
Doris: Are you less mad at me now?
Suzanne: I am always less mad at you, Mom.
Doris: I have some news.
Suzanne: What? You had a dream I lost some weight? Endorsed a line of clothing?
Doris: Don't be fresh, dear.
Doris: I was such an awful mother... what if you had a mother like Joan Crawford or Lana Turner?
Suzanne: These are the options? You, Joan or Lana?
Jack Faulkner: Are we breaking up?
Suzanne Vale: We can't break up, we were never together.
Jack Faulkner: Oh, that should come as news to you, you're acting like a wife.
Suzanne Vale: Better than acting like a whore!
Jack Faulkner: You're in no position to judge me, you've just got out of a drug clinic.
Suzanne Vale: Where YOU belong, Mr. Pothead, Mr. Vodka, Mr. Bedroom Eyes!
Jack Faulkner: What are you, a virgin? You weren't so hard to convince that first night.
Suzanne Vale: I thought we didn't do anything that first night.
Jack Faulkner: [sarcastically] I lied.
[Suzanne angrily backs up her car]
Jack Faulkner: [shouts after her] You know, you were a lot more fun when you were loaded! And 'Public Domain' was a piece of shit!
[Suzanne fires four bullets with her prop gun]
Suzanne Vale: Relax, they're blanks, asshole!
[Suzanne drives off]
Jack Faulkner: I do not like this particular side of you!
Suzanne Vale: I'm not a box, I don't have sides. This is it, one side fits all!
Doris: How was work today, dear?
Suzanne: They made me do a drug test.
Doris: I knew it. I knew you shouldn't do this film.
Suzanne: You knew I shouldn't do it because it's a bad film, not because they were going to make me do a drug test.
Doris: No, I knew it was wrong from the start, I had a dream that it wasn't right. I know you don't believe in my dreams, even the one that predicted your kidney stone. I had a dream the other night that I was drowning in the ocean...
Suzanne: I really wish I had a Percodan right now. Or two, maybe three.
Doris: ...a very heavy sequined gown pulling me under.
Suzanne: I'm going to kill myself.
Doris: Don't say that, dear, even in jest. You just got out of drug clinic. People might take it the wrong way.
Suzanne: I've been approached by hundreds of people who've felt the need to address the lack of relaxation in my work.
Simon Asquith: Really? Hundreds? Well, I'll have a chat with them.
Suzanne: In the future, I would prefer to receive direction solely from you. I mean we're talking about one day of work here. A day in which I was tied to a cactus and assaulted by snakes. Like I was a child. Maybe they should bring my mother on the set and she can make sure I'm relaxed!
Simon Asquith: That's it! That's her! That's the character! What you're doing right now!
Suzanne: But, Simon! This isn't relaxed! This is incredibly upset!
Suzanne: Ma, I'm middle-aged.
Doris: Dear, *I'm* middle-aged.
Suzanne: Really. And how many one hundred and twenty year old women do *you* know?
Suzanne: [knowingly] Irish person. You just drink to relax. You just enjoy your wine. I know, you've told me, mother. You don't want me to be a singer. You're the singer, you're the performer. I can't possibly compete with you. What if somebody won? You want me to do well... just not better than you.
Suzanne Vale: I have nothing to say.
Aretha: The same cannot be said for the rest of your family.
Bart: Excuse me, Suzanne, can I meet your mother?
Suzanne: Sure. Bart, this is my mom...
Bart: Oh, Miss Mann, I've loved you my whole life. Ever since I was seven, I wanted to be you.
Alan: Bart does you in his drag show.
Bart: Oh, this is my lover, Alan. Yes, I wear a costume exactly like the one you wore in "That Marvelous Mrs. Markham."
Doris: Oh, the one with the corset? That was so difficult to wear...
Suzanne: Mom?
Doris: Oh, I must go, sorry, boys. It was very nice to meet you.
[whispering to Suzanne]
Doris: Sorry, dear, but you know how much the queens love me.
Suzanne: Can I ask you something personal?
Evelyn Ames: You mean asking me who I have sex with isn't personal anymore? What do you want to know, if I smoke?
Doris Mann: So you said you have a ranch?
Jack Faulkner: Yeah, out in Malibu.
Doris Mann: If all ranchers looked like you, there wouldn't be many crops.
Jack Faulkner: Depends on what you're raising.
Doris Mann: Certainly not doubts!
[both laugh, Suzanne enters]
Doris Mann: Oh, I was just coming to get you, your little friend is here.
Suzanne Vale: Can I speak to you for a moment in private?
Doris Mann: Excuse me, my daughter wants to speak to me.
[both step into alcove]
Suzanne Vale: I would really just like a few people of my own without them having to like you so much!
Doris Mann: I was just being friendly. And I don't care if he likes me or not, your friend in there with the bedroom eyes.
Suzanne Vale: Right. And the living room nose, the kitchen forehead and den ears.
Doris: You feel sorry half the time for having a monster of a mother like me. Everything about you says 'look what you've done to me'.
Suzanne: [innocently] I never said you were a monster!
Doris: You don't say it, but you feel it. Somehow, you lay the entire blame for your drug-taking on me.
Suzanne: [annoyed] I do not! I DO not, mother. I took the drugs, nobody made me.
Doris: [darkly] Go ahead and say it: you think I'm an alcoholic.
Suzanne: Okay...I think you're an alcoholic.
Doris: Well, maybe I was an alcoholic when you were a teenager. But I had a nervous breakdown when my marriage failed and I lost all my money.
Suzanne: That's when I started taking drugs.
Doris: Well, I got over it! And now I just drink like an Irish person.
Doctor Frankenthal: We're going to have to pump your stomach.
Suzanne Vale: Do I have to be there?
Suzanne Vale: [regarding an incoming phone call from Gene Hackman's character] He's a director. I don't wanna talk to him; I'm embarassed. I don't have to right?
Aretha: You don't have to do anything you don't want to do... except never take drugs again and go to AA meetings for the rest of your life.
Suzanne Vale: [sarcastically] Oh, I feel SO much better!
Julie Marsden: And you don't remember taking *any* drugs?
Suzanne Vale: Oh well... sure... some!
Doris: Sing one of your old numbers from my act.
Suzanne: When did you see Jack last?
Evelyn Ames: Umm, Saturday. Saturday night.
Suzanne: I was with him Saturday afternoon. That's two girls in one day.
Evelyn Ames: And that's just the ones we know about. Think what you could find out if you had one of those satellite things.
Suzanne: How can you laugh? It's completely disgusting! Especially in this day and age.
Evelyn Ames: You look like someone who can take care of herself. Buy some condoms. Don't feel bad. He probably really likes you. If you can just... enjoy yourself with him like he's enjoying himself with you... That's what I do. I'm in it for the "endolphin" rush.
Suzanne: Endorphin.
Evelyn Ames: Whatever.
Aretha: Flowers for you, Suzanne.
Suzanne: Who died?
Aretha: Both of us almost did for a start. Who are they from?
Suzanne: They're from the guy who pumped my stomach.
Aretha: Bullshit!
[Reading card]
Aretha: "Dear Suzanne. Hope your stomach is better. You seem to be what my mother warned me about: A beautiful, overly-sensitive person." He can tell all that by the contents of your stomach.
Suzanne: I'd have to be sensitive to need all that dope. I'm tempted to marry him so I can tell people how we met.
Doctor Frankenthal: Would you maybe like to go out with me sometime? Catch a movie or something?
Suzanne: Sure. We can go see "Valley of the Dolls." We'll say fate brought us together.
Grandma: Oh, go on and cry. You'll pee less, as my grandma used to say.
Suzanne: Aw, shut up, Grandma.
Grandma: I beg your pardon?
Suzanne: I should think you would.
Grandma: You see there? Now if you washed her mouth out with soap when she was little, like I told you, maybe she'd have some respect now!
Suzanne: [talks over] I'm simply suggesting we all try to enjoy one each other without having to assign blame.
Grandma: Ooh, listen to Miss Snootybritches. "Assign blame," hee hee.
Suzanne: [pushes her towards the door] Come on!
Grandma: Just what do you think you're doing, young lady?
Suzanne: I'm moving you out to the waiting room.
Grandma: Well, there's no need to shove! I'm going! You know what you need? I good pop on the butt like I used to give your mother! I--
[Suzanne shuts the door on her]
Doris: If I thought I made you feel like that, I'd kill myself.
Suzanne: Don't say that, even in jest, Ma, particularly when you're in a hospital. People might take it the wrong way.
Lowell: You know, you're not going to get a lot of sympathy. Do you know how many people would give their right arm to live your life?
Suzanne: But that's the problem. I can't feel my life. I look around me and I know so much of it is good. But it's like this stuff with my mother. I know that she does these things because she loves me... but I just can't believe it.
Lowell: Maybe she'll stop mothering you when you stop needing mothering.
Suzanne: You don't know my mother.
Lowell: I don't know your mother, but I'll tell you something. She did it to you and her mother did it to her and back and back and back all the way to Eve and at some point you just say, "Fuck it, I start with me."
Suzanne: Did you just make that up?
Lowell: Yeah, well, I was working on it when you came in. If you'd shown up a half hour later like you were supposed to, it would have been better.
Suzanne: It's pretty good as it is.
Lowell: Yeah, you just like it because it sounds a little like movie dialogue.
Suzanne: That's right, I don't want life to imitate art, I want life to be art.
Suzanne Vale: Instant gratification takes too long.
Julie Marsden: I want you to deal with your feelings, Suzanne, before they deal with you.
Suzanne Vale: Do you always talk in bumper stickers?
Julie Marsden: You know, addiction isn't the problem; it's the solution.
Suzanne Vale: [talks and laughs over her] You do. You DO!
Julie Marsden: And until you remove the solution, you can't see clearly what the problem is. This anger isn't about me. Who are you really angry with?
Suzanne: Do you know Jack Faulkner?
Evelyn Ames: [laughs] Oh, yeah.
Suzanne: You've... slept with him?
Evelyn Ames: Well, I don't know how much of a rest I got. Wait, he hasn't got...?
Suzanne: No! Oh, God, I hope not.
Evelyn Ames: You scared me. I thought maybe you were from some celebrity AIDS notification board or something.
Doris: So, how long have you known Suzanne?
Jack: Oh, about a month. Seems like longer, though.
Doris: I know what you mean. I'm her mother and it seems longer.
Doris Mann: Never let 'em see you ache. That's what Mr. Mayer used to say. Or was it "ass"? Never let 'em see your ass.
Neil Bleene: We're talking about two minutes of film - two minutes of screen time out of ninety.
Suzanne Vale: Is it correctable?
Neil Bleene: Oh, come on. It's not as though you farted during all your dialogue; we sat there in rushes saying 'what's all that noise all over her lines?'
Suzanne Vale: I'm so relieved. That analogy has bathed me in relief.
Suzanne: Did you want some more cashews, Grandpa?
Grandpa: Did I already have some?
Grandma: [under her breath, to Aretha] He gets worse every day.
Grandpa: Who gets worse? I heard that! Get off my back, woman! I wanna go home!
Grandma: We're going home, dear.
Grandpa: Not with you! I wanna go home.
[smiles at Aretha]
Grandpa: Are we going soon?
Aretha: Soon, sir. Very, very soon.
Grandpa: You know what my daddy did?
Aretha: What?
Grandpa: [confused] What were we talking about?
Grandma: [under her breath, to Aretha] I told ya.
Grandpa: I heard that! Get out my back, woman! Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap--that's all you do all the livelong day!
Grandpa: And the farmer hauled another load away...
[wanders off across the lawn]
Grandma: [sighs] The other night he punched me when I was trying to put some clean pajamas on him.
Suzanne Vale: You said you loved me.
Jack Faulkner: I meant it at the time.
Suzanne Vale: Well what was it, a viral love? Kind of a 24 hour thing? Apparently Evelyn smells like Catalina too; must be going around.
Jack Faulkner: What is it that especially bothers you, that it was on the same day or that it was Evelyn Ames?
Suzanne Vale: It's not the fact that you fuck around A LOT, it's that you lie about it. You could have just told me the truth and then fucked them ALL. Had the cigarette with me.
Jack Faulkner: That is such bullshit. Women are always saying it's not the fact that you left, it's the way that you did it. It's not that you fuck around, it's that you lie about it. You're all so full of shit. It IS the fact that I fuck around, and it is that fact that I WILL leave.

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