Private Benjamin

Private Benjamin Quotes

A sheltered young high society woman joins the United States Army on a whim and finds herself in a more difficult situation than she ever expected.

[after sex]
Judy Benjamin: Now I know what I've been faking all these years.
Henri Tremont: That was your first?
Judy Benjamin: And second.
Judy Benjamin: My husband had a heart attack and died on our wedding night, while we were making love.
Pvt. Mary Lou Glass: Jesus! Benjamin! I don't get it, what do you do after a thing like that?
Judy Benjamin: Join the Army!
Sgt. L.C. Ross: Everybody up! Everybody, Benjamin!
Judy Benjamin: Oh God, you can't mean me. I worked the night shift! Go check out the bathroom, it's FABULOUS.
Judy Benjamin: Don't bad French artists have telephones?
Judy Benjamin: [while she and Henri are standing at the altar] Henri, I know this is a really awkward time to do this, but I wanna break up.
Capt. Doreen Lewis: Benjamin, you are not FIT to wear that uniform.
Judy Benjamin: No shit!
Judy Benjamin: Has anybody ever died from basic?
Judy Benjamin: To be truthful with you, I can't sleep in a room with 20 strangers.
Capt. Doreen Lewis: Oh dear.
Judy Benjamin: And I mean look at this place. The army couldn't afford drapes? I'll be up at the crack of dawn here!
Sgt. L.C. Ross: Beware... there are mine fields out there. Most of them are inert. However, some of them are ert.
Judy Benjamin: Have you seen the bathroom?
Capt. Doreen Lewis: Do you think that the latrine... do you think that it's unsanitary?
Judy Benjamin: It's disgusting! There are *urinals* in there!
Yale Goodman: Lift your back leg.
Judy Benjamin: I don't have a back leg.
Judy Benjamin: Daddy - Mom just fainted.
Judy Benjamin: I think they sent me to the wrong place.
Capt. Doreen Lewis: Uh-huh.
Judy Benjamin: See, I did join the army, but I joined a *different* army. I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms.
Harriet Benjamin: It's November here, Kissy.
Teddy Benjamin: It's November everywhere, genius.
Mrs. Goodman: Judith. Just one thing. If you can remember. What were Yale's last words?
Judy Benjamin: I'm coming.
Judy Benjamin: [heavenward] Look what we got!
Judy Benjamin: Henri, you are a shmuck.
Judy Benjamin: You did Claire's *dishes*?
Judy Benjamin: What do you want from me? I didn't ask her to punish everybody! Do you think I like schlepping in the rain all day and all night?
Pvt. Wanda Winter: Just keep marching, Benjamin.
Judy Benjamin: My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y Judy and I'd like somebody to call me by my name! Oh, okay I took my life in my own hands, I made a mistake fine I'm sorry! I'll never do it again! I wanna wear my sandals... I wanna go out to lunch. I wanna be NORMAL again!
Capt. Doreen Lewis: If Patton were alive, he would slap your face!

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