A nostalgic look at radio's golden age focusing on one ordinary family and the various performers in the medium.

Rocco: This is a coincidence. I meet nobody from the old neighbourhood in years. I finally do, and I gotta kill her.
Mother: I think you have these qualities that you demand and when you meet a nice man you disqualify him for the smallest fault.
Bea: That's not true.
Mother: So, what was wrong with Nat Bernstein?
Bea: He wore white socks with a tuxedo!
Rabbi Baumel: Radio... It's all right once in a while. Otherwise it tends to induce bad values, false dreams, lazy habits. Listening to these stories of foolishness and violence... this is no way for a boy to grow up.
Joe: You speak the truth, my faithful Indian companion.
Rabbi Baumel: To a rabbi you say "my faithful Indian companion"?
[hits him in a head]
Mother: [as she watches anti-aircraft searchlights with husband during a World War II black-out] It's so beautiful. Boy, what a world... it could be so wonderful, if it wasn't for certain people.
Narrator: Ceil adored a very prominent ventriloquist, and this always used to drive Abe crazy:
Abe: He's a ventriloquist on the radio - how do you know he's not moving his lips?
Ceil: Who cares? Leave me alone!
[bursts with laughter]
Diction Student: Hark! I hear the cannons roar! Is it the King approaching?
Diction Student: Hark! I hear the cannons roar! Is it the King approaching?
Sally: [in a very thick New York accent] Hahk! I hear the cannon's raw! Is it the King approaching?
Father: [to mother] You're lucky I love you, you old douchebag.
Sally: Who is Pearl Harbor?
Narrator: For some miraculous reason, it's a wonderful feeling having a teacher you've seen dance naked in front of a mirror.
Narrator: Despite his bravado, Mr Manulis panicked and bolted out of the car. He was so frightened by the reports of interplanetary invasion that he ran off, leaving Aunt Bea to contend with the green monsters he expected to drop from the sky at any moment. She walked home. Six miles. When Mr Manulis called for a date the next week, she told my mother to say she couldn't see him. She had married a Martian.
[Last lines]
Narrator: I never forgot that New Year's Eve when Aunt Bea awakened me to watch 1944 come in. I've never forgotten any of those people or any of the voices we would hear on the radio. Though the truth is, with the passing of each New Year's Eve, those voices do seem to grow dimmer and dimmer.
Bea: Fred, you must know I have a little crush on you.
Fred: Please, Bea.
Bea: What is it? What's wrong?
Fred: Nothing. It's just I...
[Fred bursts into tears]
Bea: What's wrong? Is it still your fiancée? It's been such a long period of grief. It's not fair to you.
Fred: [crying] I know. I know. It's just that every time I hear that song on the radio my memory goes back to Leonard. That was our song.
Bea: Leonard?
Fred: My beloved.
Bea: You never said your fiancé's name was Leonard.
Fred: How could I?
Bea: [pauses, slowly starts to understand] I see. Just calm yourself. Would you like a drink?
Fred: No.
Bea: Just relax.
[Fred continues to cry; Bea tries to comfort him]
Bea: It's a nice song.
Roger: I hope 1944 turns out well. They pass so quickly. Where do they all go?
Biff Baxter: So quickly. Then we get old. And we never knew what any of it was about.
Joe: [as he realizes the substitute teacher is the woman he and his friends saw dancing naked in the window] Oh God, we're all going straight to hell!
Narrator: [First Lines] Once upon a time, many years ago, two burglars broke into our neighbors house in Rockaway. Mr. and Mrs. Needleman had gone to a movie and the following events occurred.
Narrator: My most vivid memory connected with an old radio song I associate with the time that Aunt Bea and her then-boyfriend Chester took me into New York to the movies. It was the first time I'd ever seen the Radio City Music Hall and it was like entering heaven. I just never saw anything so beautiful in my life.
Rocco: It's nothin' personal. It's just bad luck you were a witness.
Sally: My whole life, I had bad luck.
Rocco: Me too.
Sally: Where are you from?
Rocco: Brooklyn.
Sally: Yeah? Me too.
Narrator: [about a therapist's radio show] I found the show silly and always imagined my parents on it airing their standard complaints.
Mother: He's a business failure. He never finishes what he starts. We're forced to live with my relatives and thank God for them. And I should have married Sam Slotkin.
Father: Sam Slotkin's dead.
Mother: Yes, but while he was alive, he was working.
Father: She'd be lost without her whole family around her all the time, and you should see 'em. They're like some kind of tribe. They're like the Huns. Maybe if I had married a more encouraging woman, who knows?
Mother: So who do you think is right?
Mr. Abercrombie: I think you both deserve each other.
Mother: What does that mean?
Father: Look, we didn't come here to be insulted.
Mother: I love him, but what did I do to deserve him?
Sally: Boy, that was fast! Probably helped I had the hiccups.
Narrator: Then there were my father and mother, two people who could find an argument in any subject.
Father: Wait, you think the Atlantic is a greater ocean than the Pacific?
Mother: No. Have it your way. The Pacific is greater.
Narrator: I mean, how many people argue over oceans?
Narrator: What Aunt Bea did with the rest of the money was treat us all to a Broadway dance palace. She and Sy seemed very much in love, and she seemed happy. But it was not to be, because after a week Sy did not leave his wife and children, nor did he after two weeks nor ever. And as the year came to a close, Aunt Bea would soon be back to her old dreams of finding a true love. Still, on this night, no one had any thoughts except what a wonderful time we were all having.
Arnold: [presenting a condom to a class] I found this on my parents' night table.
Masked Avenger: I wonder if future generations will ever even hear about us. It's not likely. After enough time, everything passes. I don't care how big we are or how important are our lives.

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