Two slacker wrestling fans are devastated by the ousting of their favorite character by an unscrupulous promoter.

Gordie Boggs: What about Wendy? She digs you!
Sean Dawkins: No... she's too much like one of the guys.
Gordie Boggs: That's bad?
Sean Dawkins: That's gay.
Mr. Boggs: Woah! What the hell are these?
Sean Dawkins: Those are my nuts.
Mr. Boggs: Wouldn't you like to be on the other side of this search?
Sean Dawkins: You want me to grab your nuts?
Gordie Boggs: Hey kid! Move your fat head. I can't see the fight.
Sean Dawkins: Sorry, Uncle Billy said these were good seats.
Gordie Boggs: Uncle Billy sucks!
Sean Dawkins: Hey, Uncle Billy lost his right nut in 'nam.
Gordie Boggs: Well kick him in his left nut when you see him. These seats bite!
Sean Dawkins: If you only have one left, is it still your left nut?
Sean Dawkins: How's my hair look? Finesse?
Gordie Boggs: Bro, you're driving a truck full of ass juice. I wouldn't worry about your hair.
Sean Dawkins: Give us a "Rule You" please? C'mon!
Gordie Boggs: No, no, no, wait, give us a "Be Gone!"
Jimmy King: How bout this... GO GET MY DAMN BEER YOU FRIGGIN MORONS!
Sean Dawkins: Look, I know we just got all this religion, but I got a serious question I need to ask you and I need a serious answer, swear to god?
Gordie Boggs: Swear to god.
Sean Dawkins: How many times did you fart in that van?
Gordie Boggs: Wasn't me man, swear to god.
Sean Dawkins: Me either, swear to god.
Gordie Boggs: Oh my god. They are the farting nuns.
Sean Dawkins: According to his authorized biography, Jimmy King worked very hard in high school. And after you died in the plane crash, he went to community college and supported you while he held two jobs!
Fred King: I oughta kick yer ass! Freak!
Jane King: We saw him last week. He came and borrowed our motor home. We haven't seen him since. The big shit!
Sean Dawkins: You can not run away. You've got a major fight and you've got major responsabilities.
Jimmy King: Look, I got news for you. I sucker-punched last night. It'll never happen again it was a fluke!
Sean Dawkins: How can you say that? We got you this far didn't we? Huh> Now we got a friend, who's gonna get you a trainer.
Jimmy King: *Trainer!* I don't a trainer! I need a safehouse, baby! Or a new identity from the F.B.I. or like, a fast car that's what I need!
Gordie Boggs: Jimmy King does not get sacred. Jimmy King does not back down!
Jimmy King: Look don't you get it? Sinclair wants to *kill* me. So I'm dead! And burried in the ground and little tiny bugs feastin' on my ass, that's what he wants!
Sean Dawkins: No bugs are gonna feast on your ass!
Jimmy King: Wakie Wakie, Hands off Snakey!
Sean Dawkins: I'll get the... um, um, um... the cheeseburger Maxi Meal.
Gordie Boggs: ...and the Brittany bare-ass buffet!
Gordie Boggs: Buenos nachos!
Sasha: I didn't know you spoke Spanish.
Gordie Boggs: Yeah, I took it in high school... a bunch of times.
Sasha: Are you fluent?
Gordie Boggs: No, I feel fine.
Gordie Boggs: We're going back to basics. To find our heart.
Sasha: Can I come?
Gordie Boggs: No, because you don't have one.
Sean Dawkins: All right, it's a little strange! But what are we supposed to do?
Gordie Boggs: Exactly!
Sean Dawkins: *What*?
Goldberg: [Jimmy King was just asked if he intends to go for the tag-team championship] Jimmy, it looks like you need a tag-team partner. What do you say?
Jimmy King: Bill, I appreciate it, really I do, but I think I already have me a tag-team partner around here somewhere.
[Gordy and Sean enter the ring. Jimmy points at them]
Jimmy King: That's him, that's my tag-team partner. That's Gordy Boggs a.k.a. *the law*!
Gordie Boggs: [points finger at camera in a pose]
Gordie Boggs: I will bust you!
Jimmy King: And here's our new manager, Sean "Sugardaddy" Dawkins.
Sean Dawkins: That's my best friend in the whole world right there!... He's not really a cop though!
[repeated Line]
Sal Bandini: Sal Bandini! Wanna wrestle?
Jimmy King: What's she gonna do boob em to death?
Sean Dawkins: Crown us. Crown us, c'mon.
Gordie Boggs: Crown us!
Sean Dawkins: Please crown us!
Gordie Boggs: CROWN US!
Jimmy King: Yeah!
[Bashes Sean and Gordie's heads]
Gordie Boggs: Aw, that was great, man!
Jimmy King: Ya happy now?
[Sean and Gordie sleep and snores]
Jimmy King: I got three words for you, baby! Nine One One!
Gordie Boggs: You guys better get out of here. My dad'll shoot you. He will.
Mr. Boggs: Just cause it's your dream doesn't make it right or noble or whatever! Charles Manson was following his dream! Joseph Stalin, Michael Bolton, you get my point?
[both guys crying]
Sean Dawkins: Damn allergies.
Gordie Boggs: Yeah, me too. Damn stupid allergies.
Sean Dawkins: Unfair, bogus allergies!
Gordie Boggs: Unfair, cheating, blind ref, bogus Sinclair allergies!
Sean Dawkins: Damn Dallas Page!
Gordie Boggs: That's right, Sean! Let it out man!
Sean Dawkins: Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
[after kicking Diamond Dallas Page off the third cage, Sting swings down to meet Gordie and Sean]
Steve Borden: Jimmy King's alright by me.
Sean Dawkins: You love Jimmy King. I love Jimmy King. We're men, but we're not afraid to say it; we love other men.
[Confused look on Sting's face]
Sean Dawkins: [Arms open] I love you.
[Sting punches him out. An excited Gordie approaches Sting]
Gordie Boggs: Me too, man. Hit me! Hit me! My turn!
[Sting knocks out Gordie]
Jimmy King: Give me the stuff or I'll crown ya!
Gordie Boggs, Sean Dawkins: IT'S HIM! IT'S THE KING!
Sean Dawkins: Hey Gordy?
Gordie Boggs: Yea?
Sean Dawkins: Why does it look like you have your finger in your butt?
Gordie Boggs: Because I do... stupid.
Sean Dawkins: Tonight we rejoice! We rejoice with the King in his motorcastle!
Gordie Boggs: PARTYYY!
Sean Dawkins: We're gonna be there! We're going!
Mrs. MacKenzie: Get me a T-shirt... a really tight one...
Gordie Boggs: That's gross, Mrs. MacKenzie.
Jimmy King: I just gave him a little flick!
Sean Dawkins: Well, he's your friend, right? And you can't turn your back on a friend!... Right?
Gordie Boggs: There's a lot of glare coming off that dome of yours, squirrel nuts!
Cashier: Listen to me sunshine, I'm gonna open up a fresh can of whoop-ass on ya boy!
Gordie Boggs: BRING IT ON!
Goldberg: Can you... say it now?
Cashier: I'm your bitch and you're my daddy.
Jimmy King: Rolled right off his tongue.
Gordie Boggs: You telling me the King's a queen?
Sal Bandini: Don't let up until you hear cartilage snap, or they crap in their pants.
Gordie Boggs: But, Dad, it's my dream!
Mr. Boggs: Well, your dream is stupid!
Jimmy King: [inside port-a-potty ] Smells like poop in here
Sal Bandini: [to Jimmy King] Kickin' me was right. Checkin' to see if I was okay was wrong.
Gordie Boggs: I puke all the time, and I'm not a pussy.
Gordie Boggs: Uh... you're parents aren't dead anymore either...
Mr. Boggs: You gonna be a wrestler? You got trouble wrestlin' your wee-wee out of your trousers to take a leak!
Gordie Boggs: It's not that I have trouble... just sometimes I don't see the point.
Sasha: I'd love you to show me your awesome moves...
Gordie Boggs: Are you sure?
Sasha: I'm sure.
[last lines]
Sal Bandini: God bless America!
[Sean and Gordie have crashed their truck and lost their jobs as anti-septic workers]
Sean Dawkins: That truck and that business was all my dad left me when he died. That's all I've got to remember him by.
Gordie Boggs: I'll be able to remember my dad by the epic beating he gives me for coming home late.
[repeated Line]
Jimmy King: I will rule you!
Eugenia King: What are ya high? I haven't seen him in two years. All I've got to remember him by is an itchy crotch. You ever see crabs up close? Wanna see?
Gordie Boggs: Fantastic!

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