When an accident miraculously gives a boy an incredibly powerful pitching arm, he becomes a major league pitcher for the Chicago Cubs.

Cliff Murdoch - Announcer: [after Henry throws a ball from the bleachers to home plate] I just figured out why the Cubs lose every year. They've got more talent in the stands than they do in the field.
Henry Rowengartner: Pitcher's got a big butt! Pitcher's got a big butt!
[once taken out of the cast, Henry's arm snaps around and hits Dr. Kersten in the nose]
Dr. Kersten: [muffled, with hands over his face] Funky, buttloving...!
George: Did he say "funky buttloving?"
Phil Brickman: Hey, your mom has a pretty good arm! I ain't seen the floater pitch since Scuffy McGee!
Chet Steadman: Henry, don't take this serious. But its nothing to joke about. But one day, your gift will be gone.
Phil Brickman: The key to being a big league pitcher is the 3 R's: readiness, recuperation, and conditioning!
[after Chet Steadman gives up a home run]
Cliff Murdoch - Announcer: Well, that's going to bring Rocket's earned run average to about, uh, three hundred or so. Which equals the attendance here today. What a team.
[first lines]
Cliff Murdoch - Announcer: Opening Day at Wrigley, and oh what a sight! The diamond, the decorations, and the dread of yet another losing season.
Henry Rowengartner: Oh, my god... It's Billy Frick!
Martinella: I'm looking for Henry Rulenfurter.
Henry Rowengartner: Henry Rowengartner?
Martinella: Yeah.
Henry Rowengartner: I'm Henry!
Martinella: [*confused, apparently because he had no idea Henry was a kid*] ... I might be looking for your father.
Martinella: You good for another inning?
Henry Rowengartner: You betcha, Sally baby!
Martinella: Good, 'cause you're on deck.
Henry Rowengartner: [dumbfounded] Huh?
Martinella: You're up after Fern.
Chet Steadman: You can't let him bat.
Martinella: He's gotta learn sometime.
Edith: Carrie, Harold told me that Becky Fraker doesn't think you're very ugly.
Martinella: BRICKMAN!
Phil Brickman: [Talking softly] I'll be right back!
Chet Steadman: Do me a favor: Don't call me "Rocket".
Henry Rowengartner: Why not?
Chet Steadman: 'Cause I'm not the "Rocket" anymore.
Henry Rowengartner: Yeah, I don't get it, you're throwing so slow.
Chet Steadman: Well, thank you very much.
Cliff Murdoch - Announcer: Sweet meat pies! Rowengartner's going to bat!
Henry Rowengartner: Wow, you ate that whole thing?
Frick: Why, sure! It wasn't that much
Henry Rowengartner: That's impressive.
Frick: You should see what I can do in a bed!
[repeated lines, while Henry is at bat]
Mary Rowengartner: [watching on TV] Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Chet Steadman: [watching from the dugout] Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Henry Rowengartner: [in the batter's box] Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Chet Steadman: Do me a favor, Henry. Don't take this game too seriously.
Henry Rowengartner: Why not?
Chet Steadman: Because one day it'll all be over. Your gift will be gone.
Chet Steadman: [Henry is playing a GameBoy] That's going to make you stupid.
[he doesn't reply]
Chet Steadman: Maybe it already has.
Martinella: [Sal finally gets Henry's last name right during the Divison Championship game, after Chet Steadman steps off] Rowengartner, you're going in.
Henry Rowengartner: [confused] What did he just call me?
[Chet laughs]
Clark: They're sending Henry in!
George: Yeah, we're gonna go sit closer so you can see better.
Mary Rowengartner: Come on, let's go get seats.
Bob Carson: Seats? You mean down on the field level?
Mary Rowengartner: Yeah.
Bob Carson: No, no, no. Please, that's too dangerous.
Mary Rowengartner: Why?
Bob Carson: Me, the owner of the Cubs sitting down with the fans? They'd kill me.
[after Henry accidentally throws a fielded ball over the outfield fence]
George: Is that play legal?
Phil Brickman: Punctuality, Henry. Without it, time stands still.
Henry Rowengartner: Hey! We want a pitcher, not an underwear snitcher!
Martinella: Way to go, Runamucker!
Mary Rowengartner: Hi, Chet, I'm Henry's ma!
Chet Steadman: Hi, Henry's mom!
Phil Brickman: I wrap the cake up in my vomit bag, and voila!... Breakfast!
[pounding the airplane tray table]
Phil Brickman: Conservation, Managing resources... that is the key to Baseball.
Phil Brickman: Sometimes you just gotta put the pedal to the metal and live the fantasy! Rock and roll!
George: The only reason you are playing for the Cubs is because you broke your stupid arm!
Larry Fisher: Reporters are foaming at the mouth for a piece of the kid.
Mary Rowengartner: Which piece?
Larry Fisher: Hey, kid! How'd you like to play for the Chicago Cubs?
Henry Rowengartner: Great! But I gotta ask my mom first.
Heddo: This one's for MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY!
[Mary Waving]
Mary Rowengartner: HONEY!
Bob Carson: You're the best thing to happen to baseball since Cracker Jack!
Ernie: Mr. Carson's last year as team owner, he must be really depressed.
Bob Carson: Oh boy, Fish, look a decoder ring... I got it out of the Cracker Jack box... look it fits on your finger.
Larry Fisher: Yeah, yeah, that's great, Uncle Bob.
[Whispers to assistant]
Larry Fisher: That man is turning into a cracker jack.
Chet Steadman: You big ugly piece of shit!
George: Let's go back to our dull lives and search for meaning.