Scary Movie 4 Quotes
Cindy finds out the house she lives in is haunted by a little boy and goes on a quest to find out who killed him and why. Also, Alien "Tr-iPods" are invading the world and she has to uncover the secret in order to stop them.
Brenda: [having a nightmare] Lil' Kim- Lil' Kim got my sandwich. Look out- Russell Crowe's got a phone! R.Kelly, don't pee on me! MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS! Where are we?
Cindy Campbell: I'm not sure, but I think were close. It's supposed to be near mile 62.
Brenda: Is something wrong?
Cindy Campbell: No, it's just... I met this guy, and I wonder if he's safe. Oh, you'd love him, Brenda.
Brenda: What's his name? I might've already loved him.
Cindy Campbell: Tom Ryan.
Brenda: Yeah, did him. Big, fat Chinese guy?
Cindy Campbell: No... No.
Cindy Campbell: [relieved] But he is the kind of guy I'd like to share the rest of my life with.
Cindy Campbell: I'm not sure, but I think were close. It's supposed to be near mile 62.
Brenda: Is something wrong?
Cindy Campbell: No, it's just... I met this guy, and I wonder if he's safe. Oh, you'd love him, Brenda.
Brenda: What's his name? I might've already loved him.
Cindy Campbell: Tom Ryan.
Brenda: Yeah, did him. Big, fat Chinese guy?
Cindy Campbell: No... No.
Cindy Campbell: [relieved] But he is the kind of guy I'd like to share the rest of my life with.
Henry Hale: I fear the presence of the outsiders will attract those of whom we do not speak.
Female Elder #2: But if you talk about those of whom we do not speak, have you not spoken of that about which we do not talk.
Henry Hale: Do not speak of that of about which we talk of not speaking... about.
Female Elder #2: But if you talk about those of whom we do not speak, have you not spoken of that about which we do not talk.
Henry Hale: Do not speak of that of about which we talk of not speaking... about.
President Harris: [to the U.N] So, an Indian, a Frenchman, and the Pope are all on a plane. The pilot says, "Hey, are any of you not circumcised?" So the Pope lifts up his robe and says, "Shut up, stupid! You don't even speak English!" The Israeli asks the Japanese guy to open his eyes, but the Japanese man says, "I'm not squinting you crazy Jew, you're the one who sold me these cheap glasses!" What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good.
Tom Ryan: Ever since the divorce it's like my life has no purpose. Half the time, I walk around feeling like a zombie!
C. J.: Yo, don't joke about zombies. That shit there - that's real.
Mahalik: Yo, you know Nashawn, down on 120th Street?
C. J.: Yeah.
Mahalik: She told me that she heard a zombie going through her trash the other day. The next morning, she turned up missing.
Tom Ryan: Uh...
C. J.: [C.J. interrupts] What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you "turn up missing"?
Mahalik: 'Cause nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there!
Tom Ryan: Guys, I'm trying to ask...
C. J.: [C.J. interrupts again] So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time.
Mahalik: No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. The bitch ain't David Copperfield!
Tom Ryan: Uh, guys...
C. J.: [C.J. interrupts yet again] Mmm. No, no. But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, you're never missing. And when you're missing, you never turn up.
Mahalik: Unless... you a zombie.
C. J.: Damn! Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that.
Mahalik: I'm gonna put that on MySpace.
C. J.: You do that!
C. J.: Yo, don't joke about zombies. That shit there - that's real.
Mahalik: Yo, you know Nashawn, down on 120th Street?
C. J.: Yeah.
Mahalik: She told me that she heard a zombie going through her trash the other day. The next morning, she turned up missing.
Tom Ryan: Uh...
C. J.: [C.J. interrupts] What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you "turn up missing"?
Mahalik: 'Cause nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there!
Tom Ryan: Guys, I'm trying to ask...
C. J.: [C.J. interrupts again] So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time.
Mahalik: No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. The bitch ain't David Copperfield!
Tom Ryan: Uh, guys...
C. J.: [C.J. interrupts yet again] Mmm. No, no. But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, you're never missing. And when you're missing, you never turn up.
Mahalik: Unless... you a zombie.
C. J.: Damn! Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that.
Mahalik: I'm gonna put that on MySpace.
C. J.: You do that!
Saw Villain: Let the game begin.
Cindy Campbell: I... I don't get.
Saw Villain: Okay... maybe this will help you "see."
[a knife comes out from the wall]
Cindy Campbell: You want me to cut something?
Saw Villain: That should be obvious, yes.
[she goes to cut her wrist]
Saw Villain: No.
[she reaches out to cut Brenda's shoulder]
Saw Villain: No! The key is behind your eye, okay?
Cindy Campbell: I... I don't get.
Saw Villain: Okay... maybe this will help you "see."
[a knife comes out from the wall]
Cindy Campbell: You want me to cut something?
Saw Villain: That should be obvious, yes.
[she goes to cut her wrist]
Saw Villain: No.
[she reaches out to cut Brenda's shoulder]
Saw Villain: No! The key is behind your eye, okay?
Henry Hale: Martha I believe you have some tidings?
Female Elder #2: Nathaniel Winston and Alice Smith have informed me of there intentions. He plans to have sex with her as soon as possible; she intends to put up a mild fight and then give in.
[elderly women sitting in chair nods her head in agreement]
Female Elder #2: Nathaniel Winston and Alice Smith have informed me of there intentions. He plans to have sex with her as soon as possible; she intends to put up a mild fight and then give in.
[elderly women sitting in chair nods her head in agreement]
Brenda Meeks: [Mouthing] You and me should get it on!
Jeremiah: Elder Hale. We should welcome the outsiders among us.
Henry Hale: Jeremiah, ought not your tongue be held?
Jeremiah: I am sorry, Elder Hale... but sometimes my tongue wiggles beyond my ability to control it.
Brenda Meeks: This is a problem with which I have had much experience. Maybe I could help him in a room in which there are no others. Or you can all watch. I don't give a shit.
Jeremiah: Elder Hale. We should welcome the outsiders among us.
Henry Hale: Jeremiah, ought not your tongue be held?
Jeremiah: I am sorry, Elder Hale... but sometimes my tongue wiggles beyond my ability to control it.
Brenda Meeks: This is a problem with which I have had much experience. Maybe I could help him in a room in which there are no others. Or you can all watch. I don't give a shit.
Shaquille O'Neal: [Trying to saw through his chains] AHHH! This will never work.
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw: Of course, he wants us to cut through our feet.
Shaquille O'Neal: You go first.
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw: Bullshit!
Shaquille O'Neal: Yeah, you're probably not man enough. I guess your momma was right.
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw: Never!
[Holds up saw]
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw: Who's the coward now, momma?
[Starts cutting through his foot]
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw: Of course, he wants us to cut through our feet.
Shaquille O'Neal: You go first.
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw: Bullshit!
Shaquille O'Neal: Yeah, you're probably not man enough. I guess your momma was right.
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw: Never!
[Holds up saw]
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw: Who's the coward now, momma?
[Starts cutting through his foot]
Brenda: Hey, Cindy! Look, I'm on TV, y'all! Check it out! I'm gonna give a shout out to all my peeps!
[Jigsaw turns round and slaps Brenda in the face]
Brenda: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?
[bashing Jigsaw's face into the camara]
Brenda: NO ONE... BITCH SLAPS... BRENDA!
Saw Villain: Zoltar, help!
[Zoltar comes in and hits Brenda over the head with a metal pipe]
Saw Villain: Oh, oh! This is some bullshit!
[Brenda grabs the pipe and wacks Jigsaw with it before pushing Zoltar out of view]
[Jigsaw turns round and slaps Brenda in the face]
Brenda: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?
[bashing Jigsaw's face into the camara]
Brenda: NO ONE... BITCH SLAPS... BRENDA!
Saw Villain: Zoltar, help!
[Zoltar comes in and hits Brenda over the head with a metal pipe]
Saw Villain: Oh, oh! This is some bullshit!
[Brenda grabs the pipe and wacks Jigsaw with it before pushing Zoltar out of view]
Secret Service Agent: Mr. President, the country is under attack by aliens.
President Harris: I'll deal with that later. Right now I want to find out what happens to the duck.
Secret Service Agent: More people will die!
President Harris: The people will die regardless. But this duck still has a fighting chance.
Secret Service Agent: Sir, I've read the book. The duck dies!
[the President spits milk all over the elementary school kids]
President Harris: Good God! That's horrible!
President Harris: I'll deal with that later. Right now I want to find out what happens to the duck.
Secret Service Agent: More people will die!
President Harris: The people will die regardless. But this duck still has a fighting chance.
Secret Service Agent: Sir, I've read the book. The duck dies!
[the President spits milk all over the elementary school kids]
President Harris: Good God! That's horrible!
Narrator: And so, love triumphed in the end and the invaders were destroyed. For this world, our world is the world of man. We have earned the right to live here and as long as we love, humanity will prevail. Each of our enemies has failed in their quest to defeat us. Each has been undone by their own nefarious plans. Among all worlds, across all galaxies, we stand above, we stand alone. None can threaten our existence, none can challenge our spirit. And why? Of all the qualities that make us unique, it is love that is our greatest strength. And because of love, mankind...
[Narrator gets hit by a bus]
[Narrator gets hit by a bus]
C. J.: [Mahalik reaches over C.J. for a bag of nuts] Hey, what you doing?
Mahalik: Relax man. I'm just trying to grab some nuts.
Mahalik: [reaches over Mahalik for his bag of peanuts] C.J., what are you doin'?
C. J.: I just wanna eat some peanuts.
Mahalik: Huh?
C. J.: [holds up a bag of peanuts] See? Peanuts.
Mahalik: Relax man. I'm just trying to grab some nuts.
Mahalik: [reaches over Mahalik for his bag of peanuts] C.J., what are you doin'?
C. J.: I just wanna eat some peanuts.
Mahalik: Huh?
C. J.: [holds up a bag of peanuts] See? Peanuts.
Marilyn: [Tom pulls up in his car] Late again, Tom.
Tom Ryan: Hey, Marilyn.
Marilyn: I thought you were moving.
Tom Ryan: Oh, it's all I could afford right now. You took everything in the divorce except my name.
Marilyn: No, actually, the judge granted me that yesterday. You're now officially known as "Horace P. MacTitties."
Tom Ryan: Hey, Marilyn.
Marilyn: I thought you were moving.
Tom Ryan: Oh, it's all I could afford right now. You took everything in the divorce except my name.
Marilyn: No, actually, the judge granted me that yesterday. You're now officially known as "Horace P. MacTitties."
[a terrorist jumps out of a van during the TriPod invasion. He has several sticks of dynamite strapped to him]
Terrorist: AHA! Death to America!
[he presses the trigger for the bomb, but it doesn't go off]
Terrorist: Oh, shit!
[a man runs up to him and knees him in the stomach, dropping him to the floor. About a dozen more people come and beat up the terrorist]
Crowd: Kill him! Kill him!
Terrorist: AHA! Death to America!
[he presses the trigger for the bomb, but it doesn't go off]
Terrorist: Oh, shit!
[a man runs up to him and knees him in the stomach, dropping him to the floor. About a dozen more people come and beat up the terrorist]
Crowd: Kill him! Kill him!
