Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Sex, Lies, and Videotape Quotes

A sexually repressed woman's husband is having an affair with her sister. The arrival of a visitor with a rather unusual fetish changes everything.

Graham: I remember reading somewhere that men learn to love the person that they're attracted to, and that women become more and more attracted to the person that they love.
Ann: So let me see, you said, um, you said that I should never take advice from someone that I haven't had sex with, right... right?
Graham: Basically.
Ann: Right. And, uh, *we* haven't had sex...
[giggle]
Ann: right?
Graham: So...
Ann: So, I, I, I guess from your own advice, I shouldn't take your advice.
Graham: I wouldn't.
Ann: You know, my therapist...
Graham: You're in therapy?
Ann: Aren't you?
Cynthia: The organ itself seemed like a, a separate thing, um, a separate entity to me. I mean, when he finally pulled it out, and I could look at it and touch it, I completely forgot that there was a guy attached to it. I remember literally being startled when the guy spoke to me.
John Mullany: I'm sorry?
Graham: No, it's just, I, you know, I just think - right now I have one key and everything I own is in the car, and I just... I like that, you know? I mean, I just, if I get an apartment, that two keys, if I... get a job, you know, I might have to open or close, that's more keys, you know, buy some stuff, I'm afraid it's gonna get ripped off, or something, and I get more keys, and I just, I, you know, I just like having the one key, it's clean.
Ann: You're not gonna worry in losing them, I always lose my keys, I hate that.
Graham: So, I don't... I don't understand, uh, what made you want to come here. I can't imagine Ann painted a very flattering portrait of me.
Cynthia: Yeah, well, see, um, I don't really listen to Ann when it comes to men. I mean, look at John, for Christ's sake.
Ann: I want to know why you are the way you are!
Graham: And I'm telling you it's not any one thing that I can point to and say "That's why!" It doesn't work that way with people who have problems, Ann, it's not that neat, it's not hat tidy! It's not a series of little boxes that you can line up and count. Things just don't happen that way.
Ann: Nothing's what I thought it was. John's a bastard. Let's make a videotape.
Graham: No, I... ahem... I don't think that's a good idea.
Ann: Why not?
Graham: Because I don't think it's a choice that you'd make in a normal frame of mind.
Ann: And what would you know about a normal frame of mind?
Ann: Being happy isn't all that great. I mean... the last time I was... really happy... I got really fat.
John Mullany: You're lying to Ann, too.
Cynthia: Yeah, right, but I didn't take a vow in front of God and everyone to be faithful to Ann.
[Accepting John's claim that he's not cheating on her]
Ann: I've just got all this time on my hands, and I just sit around and start inventing these, like, intricate scenarios...
[giggles]
Ann: And then I don't want to have wasted all my time, so I want to believe in them.
Cynthia: [entering Graham's apartment uninvited and unannounced] I'm Cynthia Bishop
Graham: [looking confused] Who?
Cynthia: [interrupting] I'm Ann Mullaney's sister
Graham: The extrovert
Cynthia: She musta been in a good mood when she said that; she usually calls me 'loud.'
Graham: She called you that too!
Ann: Anyway, being happy isn't all that great. I mean, the last time I was really happy... I got so fat. I must have put on 25 pounds. I thought John was gonna have a stroke.
Ann: I think that um... I think that sex is overrated. I think that people place far too much importance on it, and I think that stuff about women wantin' it just as bad as men is crap. I mean I think that women want it, I just don't think that they want it for the same reason that men think they do.
Graham: You're right, I've got a lot of problems... But they belong to me.
Ann: You think they're yours, but they're not. Everybody that walks in that door becomes part of your problem. Anybody that comes in contact with you. I didn't want to be part of your problem, but I am. I'm leaving my husband, and maybe I would have anyway, but the fact is, is, I'm doing it now, and part of it's because of you. You've had an effect on my life.
Graham: This isn't supposed to happen. I've spent nine years structuring my life so this didn't happen.
[last lines]
Ann: I think it's gonna rain.
Graham: [chuckles] It is raining.
Ann: Yeah.
[after doing a videotape, Cynthia is extremely horny]
Cynthia: [to John] Get your balls in the air and get your butt over here!
[after some wild, passionate sex]
John Mullany: Oh, God. You're on fire!
Ann: Did he touch you?
Cynthia: No.
Ann: Did you touch him?
Cynthia: No.
Ann: Did anybody touch anybody?
Cynthia: Well... yes.
Ann: Don't tell me... don't tell me... don't tell me. You didn't!
Cynthia: I did.
Ann: You didn't!
Cynthia: I did.
Ann: You didn't!
Cynthia: I did!
Ann: I want out of this marriage.
John Mullany: What?
Ann: I. Want. Out. Of. This. *Marriage.*
Ann: What did you think?
Graham: I thought about what you would look like having an orgasm.
Ann: I'd like to know what I look like havin' an orgasm.
Barfly: OK, now, you're wearing blue, I'm wearing blue. Is this some sort of weird coincidence?
Ann: I don't think so.
Barfly: I think it's something more.
Ann: Do you live here?
Barfly: No. I'm just passing through.
Ann: Well, what did he ask exactly?
Cynthia: Well, I don't want to tell you exactly.
Ann: You let a total stranger record your sexual life on videotape, but you won't tell your own sister?
Cynthia: Apparently.
Barfly: This is too much. I'm wearing red, you're wearing red. That's quite a coincidence...
Ann: Look, I'm married.
Barfly: Really? Are you very married?
Ann: Married enough
Barfly: Oh. Oh. I see. Well, that shouldn't stop us...
Ann: I'm just here to see my sister. OK?
Barfly: Oh, really? Who's your sister?... Is she married?
Barfly: It's a nice dress.
Ann: Thanks. I thought so, too.
Barfly: Looks like a tablecloth.
Graham: Do you have orgasms?
Ann: I don't think so. I mean, I guess, since I'm not sure, that I've never had one.
Ann: So, all these are... are interviews, huh?
Graham: Uh, yes.
Ann: Can we watch one?
Graham: No, I'd - uh, no.
Ann: Why not?
Graham: Well, I... promised each of the subjects that no one would see the videotapes except for me.
Ann: What are the interviews about?
Graham: The interviews are about sex.
Cynthia: If Ann got freaked out by these, there must be something sexual: are these tapes of you having sex with these girls?
Graham: No, not exactly.
Cynthia: Well, either you are or your aren't; which is it?
Graham: Why don't you let me tape you?
Cynthia: Doing what?
Graham: Talking.
Cynthia: About what?
Graham: About sex... your sexual history, sexual preferences.
Cynthia: What makes you think I'd discuss that with you?
Graham: Nothing.
Cynthia: Hmm. And you just want to ask me questions?
Graham: I just want to ask you questions.
Cynthia: That's all.
Graham: That's all.
Cynthia: Is this how you get off or something? Taping women talking about their sexual experiences?
Graham: Yes.
Cynthia: I was eight years old, and, um, Michael Green, who was also eight, asked if he could watch me take a pee... And I said he could if I could watch him take one, too. So we went to the woods behind my house. And I got this feeling he was chickenin' out cos he kept sayin' "Ladies first!" So I pulled down my little panties and urinated, and he ran away before I even finished.
Graham: Was it a topic of conversation between you after that?
Cynthia: No! He kind of avoided me for the rest of the summer, and then his family moved away... To Cleveland, actually.
Graham: What a shame. When did you finally see a penis?
[to Ann, the first time they meet]
Graham: Have you ever been on television?
Ann: That's beautiful... That's really beautiful.
Ann: You can't possibly trust him. He's perverted.
Ann: I brought you this. I knew it was your birthday.
[Hands Cynthia a potted plant]
Cynthia: Thanks.
Barfly: It's a nice plant. Looks like a tablecloth.
John Mullany: Ann, answer me. Answer me, god dammit. Did he?
Ann: Yes.
[Prepares to slap Ann but backs off]
John Mullany: That backstabbing son of a bitch! Oh, Mr. Honesty, huh!
Cynthia: You know, I'd like to do it at your house sometime. I must admit, the idea of doing it in my sister's bed gives me a perverse thrill.
Cynthia: Ann, I don't understand why this freaks you out so much. You didn't do it, I did. And if it doesn't bother me, why should it bother you?
[John said he wasn't fucking Cynthia]
Ann: You never used to say the word "fucking."
John Mullany: Things are getting too complicated.
Cynthia: No... they're gettin' real simple.
Ann: I always lose my keys. I hate that.
Graham: One woman used up only 3 minutes, and another used three 2-hour tapes.
[first lines]
Ann: Garbage. All I've been thinking about all week is garbage. I mean, I just can't stop thinking about it.
Ann: What kind of "personal project"?
Graham: A personal project like anyone else's personal project. Mine's just a little more... personal, I guess.

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