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On a long-distance train trip, a man finds romance but also finds himself in danger of being killed, or at least pushed off the train.
[Grover had just rammed several police cars with the one they had stolen] Sheriff Chauncey: Hello, Car 36, what the hell happened to you guys? Grover Muldoon: [into the radio] Hey Chauncey, this is Grover T. Muldoon. You wanna know what happened? We just whooped your ass. We whooped your ass. Ha ha ha!
George Caldwell: What do you think? Grover Muldoon: I think you better make a right up here and then a sharp left. I'm coming over. [climbs over the seat. George suddenly swerves the car, causing Grover to lunge forward] Grover Muldoon: Jesus Christ, man, is that how you murdered your victims? Put them in a car and bounced them to death? George Caldwell: Sorry. Grover Muldoon: Sorry, my ass. You dangerous... Proves one thing though, you don't do this for no living. George Caldwell: No I don't.
[repeated line] George Caldwell: [each time he jumps, falls, is thrown or is pushed off the train] Son of a bitch!
George Caldwell: I did not Kill Sweet. Chief Donaldson: We Know that, but if you weren't so dumb you could've realized that we planted that news story for your own protection.
George Caldwell: I've never milked a cow before. Rita: Cut the gas, Steve, you're a grown man. I'm sure you've had some similar experience.
George Caldwell: [In the midst of battle, a table collapsed on Grover] Are you alright? Grover Muldoon: [immediately recovers] Is it over? George Caldwell: [lets table drop on him] Shit.
Grover Muldoon: Who you lookin' for? Cop: [shows Grover a picture of George] White guy. Grover Muldoon: Well if I see any I'll let you know.
Rita: They talk of the joy of sex but it doesn't last like the fun of flying.
George Caldwell: I can't pass for black. Grover Muldoon: Who you tellin'?I didn't say I was gonna make you black. I said I was gonna get you on the train. Now we got to make them cops think you're black. [rubs shoe polish on George's face] George Caldwell: It'll never work. Never. Grover Muldoon: What, you afraid it won't come off?
George Caldwell: You're very beautiful, Hilly. Hilly Burns: I like you too, George.
Ralston: [startled to see George Caldwell back on the train] Oh, my God, it's the killer! Hilly Burns: No, he's okay, really.
Bob Sweet: What were you doing back there? Getting a little ass? George Caldwell: No, i was squeezing tits!
Sheriff Chauncey: Is he with the feds? George Caldwell: Who? Sheriff Chauncey: This guy Rembrandt. George Caldwell: Rembrandt is dead. Sheriff Chauncey: Dead? That makes four. Listen, fella, are you sure you're not making this up as you go along? I'm an officer of the law and I got a lot better things to do than listen to that kind of funnin'. [buzzer sounds] Sheriff Chauncey: That's my hotline. Now you take your time to get your facts straight 'cause when I come back I want your answers clear and to the point. Got that? And you can start with who shot Rembrandt!
George Caldwell: [looking at the wrecked locomotive] Kind of looks like it's grinning.
Grover Muldoon: So this is Mr. Big. George Caldwell: That's the man. Grover Muldoon: You ain't saying shit now, Mr. Big. Roger Devereau: I must admit that I'm slightly at a loss for words. But on the other hand, I should warn you that you are a killer and you are wanted by the police in every state and I recommend that you, uh... be careful.
Hilly Burns: I give great phone.
Ralston: Damn Hippies.
Night Watchman: [Grover has hot wired a Jaguar; the night watchman approaches from behind, shotgun poised] Hold it right there, nigger. Grover Muldoon: Hey, how you doing, old dude, what's happenin'? Night Watchman: [Gestures with gun] Step away from the car. Grover Muldoon: Oh, I was listening to the engine. 'Sounds real good, man. Does it come with white walls? Night Watchman: Just move! Grover Muldoon: All right, I'm gonna move. You just take it easy, lower that rifle. Night Watchman: I said mo - [George tackles him] George Caldwell: A pussy, huh? A PUSSY? Can we go now?
George Caldwell: You stupid, ignorant son of a bitch, dumb bastard. Jesus Christ. I've met some dumb bastards in my time but you outdo them all.
Jerry Jarvis: I've received a report from the signal towers they see no engineer in the cab. Chief Donaldson: Great, now you got the facts; why don't you just throw one of the switches and have the train run off on a siding. Jerry Jarvis: That's the problem; all the tracks are computer programed. Switching the Silver Streak would only cause a collision with another train. Chief Donaldson: Then what the hell are you going to do? There're people riding on that train! Jerry Jarvis: Oh God... You see the standard procedure in such a case would be to derail the train. Chief Donaldson: Derail it, in the middle of a yard? Jerry Jarvis: Yes, actully I can't take that responsibility; I better get my boss. Chief Donaldson: You better do something you idiot, because in ten minutes; you're going to have 200 tons of locomotive smashing into Central Station on it's way to Marshall Fields!
[George drinks over his loss of Hilly, and tells Bob] George Caldwell: Did you know... that the Brainard Tunnel is the highest point on this line? Bob Sweet: Yeah, yeah. I knew that. George Caldwell: Did you know that when we reach it I intend to be higher?
Grover Muldoon: How come you whities got such a tight ass, man?
[Grover is attempting to hot wire a Jaguar] Grover Muldoon: I'm following the plan. Just changed my mind. George Caldwell: Are you crazy? I thought we were gonna take the Chevy in back. Grover Muldoon: Chevy? That's a jerk-off, man. This here is pure pussy. George Caldwell: Pure pussy? Tell that to the judge. Grover Muldoon: Don't worry about no judge, Man, this thing gonna get us to Kansas City on time. George Caldwell: How about jail? Did you know that the office is right in front of us?
Hilly Burns: I don't know about you, but next time I'm going to take the bus.
[During a gunfight, George Caldwell's gun runs out of bullets] Grover Muldoon: What do you think this is, a western?
[George is pretending to be a black man in order to evade the police] George Caldwell: I don't think we're going to make it past the cops. Grover Muldoon: We'll make it past the cops. I just hope we don't see no Muslims.
George Caldwell: I know what goes where, and why.
George Caldwell: [Grover has just told George they have to jump from the train] No! I've left this train twice already!
Roger Devereau: Get out of here you ignorant nigger! Grover Muldoon: [Pulls gun out at points it at Devereau] Who you calling nigger, huh? You don't know me well enough to call me nigger! I'll whoop your ass, beat the white offa your ass! Hilly Burns: Who ARE you? Grover Muldoon: I'm a thief!
Bob Sweet: Here's a vitamin sample for you. Vitamin E. Now that is great for the old pecker. Yeah it really keeps a pencil sharpened.
Jerry Jarvis: I can't take that responsibility. I better get my boss. Chief Donaldson: You better do something, you idiot, because in ten minutes you're going to have two hundred tons of locomotive smashing through Central Station on its way to Marshall Field's.
George Caldwell: What did you come back here for? Grover Muldoon: You forgot your wallet. George Caldwell: Oh, some thief you are.
Roger Devereau: Ah. Enough of this talk of plots and scenarios. Uh, join me in a cup of coffee, would you?
Ralston: Hello Chicago! Hello!
Roger Devereau: Keep your foot ON THE PEDAL!
Mr. Edgar Whiney: Hey. He's not dead.
[a cop is about to give Grover Muldoon a ride] Cop: Where would you like to go, fella? Grover Muldoon: Well - I left my Jag in Kansas City.
Grover Muldoon: What're you slowin' down for? George Caldwell: There's a truck up ahead. Grover Muldoon: So, there's a truck up ahead. What you waitin' for, you the man, turn on the siren, get them hippies off the road!
George Caldwell: Is there any way to get to the engine from here? Ralston: There's no way to get to the engine at all. How come we're going so fast? George Caldwell: There's nobody driving the train. Ralston: Oh, that's impossible. The train would stop. George Caldwell: Does it look like it is stopping to you? Ralston: [looks out the window] Sure in the hell don't. I'm gonna pull the emergency brake. Grover Muldoon: The emergency brakes have been cut. Ralston: [pauses] Damn hippies!
Ralston: Sir, do you think you'll be needing all these bags? If not, I can store some of them down towards the end. George Caldwell: [has brought 3 bags and an attache] Sure, sure, all I need is this one and that one. You can take this one, and I'll keep the brief case.
George Caldwell: You like my new shoes? Hilly Burns: Yes I do. Why don't you take them off?
Grover Muldoon: I always lose my memory when I fall in love.
Grover Muldoon: [laughing] Man I thought you were an amateur, but you a real pro.
Grover Muldoon: [driving away in a stolen car] Take it easy, killer. Stay loose. Hilly Burns: What's he doing? George Caldwell: He's crazy. Hilly Burns: Crazy? He's got the right idea. Let's get out of here and go to a park. George Caldwell: A park? Hilly Burns: Yeah, I wanna lie back on the grass and have you teach me some more about gardening. [they kiss]
Grover Muldoon: [to George Caldwell] Take it easy, killer. Stay loose.
George Caldwell: [climbs into the sheriff's car while pointing a gun] Keep those hands up! Keep'em up! Moose: Uncle Oliver, he's taking your car. [George speeds away] Sheriff Chauncey: You ain't never gonna get away with... You ain't never...! Moose: Uncle Oliver. Uncle Oliver, he's got your car... Sheriff Chauncey: Moose! One more word out of you and I'm gonna smash your mouth.
Jerry Jarvis: Silver Streak is a runaway. What do we do? Benny: Jeez, it'll be here in four minutes!
George Caldwell: If there's ever anything that you need... don't call me.
Roger Devereau: We'll take care of Mr. Caldwell when the time comes, but in the meantime, we're going to take EXTREMELY good care of you.
Grover Muldoon: What do they want you for? George Caldwell: Murder. Grover Muldoon: Drop me off anywhere along here okay? I don't mess with the Big M.
Chief Donaldson: [Running from Helicopter to van] How's it going? Agent: They don't believe us! Jerry Jarvis: Look the Engineer is probably anxious to bring the train in on Schedule. Chief Donaldson: [Gets on radio] This is Chief Donaldson. Who's this? Jerry Jarvis: This is Jerry Jarvis, I'm the assistant controller. Chief Donaldson: Assistant... get me your boss. Jerry Jarvis: Uh he's out to lunch, but I'm sure I can handle any problem you might have. Chief Donaldson: It's not my problem, you've got a dead engineer and a runaway train that's going to hit Chicago in 15 Minutes. Now what are you going to do about it? Jerry Jarvis: All right, I'll check with the signal towers. But um, you see that's impossible, if the engineer is dead, who's driving the train?