The sisters come back to Delores's show to get her back as Sister Mary Clarence to teach music to a group of students in their parochial school which is doomed for closure. One of the girls... See full summary¬†¬Ľ

Sister Mary Clarence: [after Maria has said she doesn't know the words of a song and her classmates snicker] Hey, hey - excuse me! It is NOT Maria's fault, that she does not know that Mary had a lamb. It is not - and I say this to you - it is *not* Maria's fault. Because maybe, MAYBE where Maria came from, Mary had a dog! Or a lil kitty cat! Or a little bald headed brother named Bart! It is NOT her fault and we're not going to tell her it is, are we? No, we are not!
Sister Mary Clarence: Now listen, I know you've got to think about your image, cause image is important to you, because of course your friends are gonna dictate your actions through the rest of your lives, and I wouldn't want you to step away from them and become an individual, that would almost be too much!
[Last lines]
Ahmal James: Rumor has it that you're a Las Vegas showgirl?
Sister Mary Clarence: Let's get one thing straight, my dear Ahmal. I am not, nor have I ever been, a Las Vegas showgirl. I am a headliner!
Sister Mary Clarence: My name is Sister Mary Clarence and I am...
Frankie: [interrupts her] Yo mama!
Sister Mary Clarence: No, sir, let's talk about your mama. Who's so dumb she got hit by a parked car!
Sister Mary Clarence: If you wake up in the morning, and you can't think anything but singing, then you should be a singer, girl.
Father Ignatius: Sursum corda.
Sister Mary Clarence: Wait a minute, what was that?
Father Ignatius: It's Latin. It means "lift up your heart".
Sister Mary Clarence: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said "insert some quarters."
Sister Mary Clarence: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Please take your seats. Do it quickly and quietly. Welcome to the first day of your new scholastic lives. This is no longer a bird course. The bird has flown. If you want to pass this course, you gonna have to earn it, 'cause I have no problems, not one, failing each and every one of you.
Sketch Pinshum: Yo. I never thought this was no bird course.
Sister Mary Clarence: I'm glad for you. Very, very glad. Because this is a new day. Things are going to be a little different around here.
Frankie: Oh, yeah?
Sister Mary Clarence: Uh-huh.
Frankie: Like how?
Sister Mary Clarence: Like when I talk, Fran-KAY, you don't!
[Some girls passed notes around and when it got to Maria, she giggled. Sister Mary Clarence walks to her and points to the note]
Sister Mary Clarence: Is this somethin' you wanna share with the rest of the class?
Maria: No, I'm just kickin' it with my girl.
Sister Mary Clarence: Well. I'll tell you what. You gonna kick it with me, or I'm gonna kick you out! What you think of THAT? Put 'em away.
[Margaret is looking in her compact and putting blush on her face]
Sister Mary Clarence: And you. This is not Elizabeth Arden, Miss Thing. You wanna beat that mug of yours, you do it before you come to my class. You understand me? Put it away.
[Sketch has his head down on his desk]
Sister Mary Clarence: And you. Sketch. I like you a lot. But I don't want you catchin' z's in my class no more.
Sketch Pinshum: I be tired. I got a job l...
Sister Mary Clarence: Baby, save it for Oprah. This is a brand-new day, ladies and gentlemen. A BRAND-new day. We're gonna start with respect. You're gonna respect me and I'm gonna respect you.
Sister Mary Clarence: If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.
Sondra: You can't answer any questions about... sex.
Sister Mary Patrick: Oh, don't be so sure. You don't have to bite the donut to know it's sweet.
Ahmal James: Don't ya'll realize how much they took from us? Yo, Sketch. You know what I'm talking about, right man? Common, they stole our land, man. And our name. And our mother, man. Yo, Mr. Johnson. You know what I'm saying, right?
Mr. Johnson: Need to get your butt a job, boy.
[Mr. Crisp and the others are looking for the kids]
Father Maurice: How will we ever find them?
Mr. Crisp: That's easy, just look for the choir that looks like it just robbed a convenience store.
Mother Superior: Go with God, Crispy.
Sketch Pinshum: Eclectic...
Margaret: What's that?
Frankie: You plug your box in the wall and it gives you power, stupid.
Ahmal James: Not electric, eclectic... stupid.
[to Maria]
Sister Mary Clarence: You, chewing that gum, you look like Mr. Ed.
Sister Mary Clarence: Yes, Miss Watson?
Rita Watson: We don't want no new way. The old way was fine for us.
[turns to class]
Rita Watson: Right?
[class agrees]
Rita Watson: So, if you're gonna fail us, you might as well just go ahead, 'cause we ain't doing nothing!
Sister Mary Clarence: Fine. If that's the way you feel, there's the door. Don't let it hit you in the butts on the way out.
Sketch Pinshum: Yo, yo, Sis... I can't afford to fail this class!
Sister Mary Clarence: You better tell your friend you can't afford to fail this class!
Tyler Chase: My parents wouldn't be pleased.
Rita Watson: Come on, ya'll, we ain't gotta take this from her! Come on! Sketch, come on, man.
[Sketch shakes head no]
Rita Watson: Fran-kay?
Frankie: Yo, Rita, you know I'm usually down for stuff like this. But, I'm gonna take care of business this time.
Sister Mary Clarence: A little lonely on that limb by yourself, Miss Watson?
Rita Watson: [despondent] So much for friendship!
[storms out door]
Frankie: Dang, man! Dang!
Sister Mary Patrick: What's the matter?
Frankie: [shows her his robe] This thing ripped! Now what am I supposed to do, huh?
Sister Mary Patrick: Listen, don't fret. My mother used to say that nothing is impossible as long as you carry with you a little bit of faith and a big roll of electrical tape.
[suddenly pulls tape from her robes]
Sister Mary Patrick: Hello!
Sister Mary Clarence: And the first thing you're gonna do, gentlemen, is take off those hats. This is a brand... new... day.
[class laughs at boys' hair]
Sister Mary Clarence: I guess that means you're gonna be combing your hair before you come to my class.
[to girl behind Rita]
Sister Mary Clarence: And, I know you're laughing over there 'cause you think this is very funny, Miss Thing, but there is no sun in this room, you will not get a tan. Take off those sunglasses.
[turns to "hat" boys]
Sister Mary Clarence: That goes for you, too. If they're not prescription, I don't wanna see 'em. I want to see YOU, I want to be able to look into YOUR eyes, I want you to be able to look into mine.
Rita Watson: Mama, it was just this one time. I'm sorry, I'll never disobey you again. It was just really important to me...
Florence Watson: Just stop! You're incredible and I'm proud of you. I'm very proud of you.
Sister Mary Clarence: Do you know what I hate most about this place? There is nothing to pick up and throw.
[the students are standing at the top of a stairwell full of cobwebs]
Sister Mary Clarence: Hurry up, I wouldn't want any of those spiders to get in those weaves some of you are wearing, I can tell.
Mr. Crisp: Teach them how to play... soccer.
Father Maurice: We haven't got the balls for that.
Sister Mary Lazarus: Congratulations, you're the new mayor of Sodom and Gommorah.
[to Rita Louise Watson during roll call]
Sister Mary Clarence: We'll just call you Rita, Diva with a 'Tude.
[to Father Ignatius]
Mr. Crisp: Have you been drinking more of that sacramental wine, father?
Sister Mary Clarence: You lied to me and you're gonna go to hell.
Rita Watson: Sorry I don't have any cute stories or anidotes to tell.
Ahmal James: "ANEC"...
Rita Watson: Shut up, Ahmal, mind your business.
Mr. Crisp: Sister Mary Fake!
Sister Mary Robert: The only thing the chef knows how to cook is German sausage.
Sister Mary Lazarus: Day after day, liverwurst, bratwurst, beerwurst...
Sister Mary Patrick: It's the "worst".
Florence Watson: [she reading a letter on Rita's desk] "Dear Mama, I went to the all-state music competition. I never meant to hurt you but I had to follow my heart. Please forgive me. I love you, Rita."
[Father Wolfgang offers Sister Mary Clarence some gross-looking food]
Sister Mary Clarence: Oh no, no, no... Jenny Craig, I just couldn't, thank you so much.
Sister Mary Lazarus: Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Show me a man that a woman can trust. Now where did it say that on the eighth day He dusteth?
Mother Superior: You are the perfect example of a how a sow's ear can be turned into a silk purse.
Sister Mary Clarence: Hmm. Well, I probably wouldn't put it quite like that.
Sister Mary Clarence: [singing] Get up off of that thing!
Mother Superior: We are desperate women.
Sister Mary Clarence: Hmm mmm.
Sister Mary Clarence: I'm undercover again.
Sister Mary Clarence: [after learning of the school's demise] We are going to fix this!
Sister Mary Lazarus: You said we as in you're staying?
Sister Mary Clarence: Yes we, as in yes I am staying!
Frankie: [after Rita has just announced it was her business if she wanted to quit the choir] Sometimes I feel this whole choir gig is a big joke, yo?
Ahmal James: I'm sure we'll have a plethora of other opportunities.
Father Thomas: Father forgive us, we know EXACTLY what we do!
Sister Mary Clarence: [singing] Ain't no mountain high enough.
Sister Mary Clarence: [to the music class] I'm gonna turn you guys into a choir.
Sister Mary Clarence: [entering the rap circle] I got the flow, you all gotta go, so pick up your bags so we can go, ho-ho! Uh-huh, ow, ow, NOW! Thank you, thank you.
Sister Mary Clarence: Hey Father Thomas, what's happenin'?
Father Thomas: What's happening is I've been sent to deliver a message like I'm working for Western Union instead of the Roman Catholic Church.
Sister Mary Clarence: [singing] We are family / I got all my sisters with me / We are family / Get up everybody and sing!
Rita Watson: I've got a lot of reasons I can't explain, but I have to leave the choir.
[leaves, visibly upset, with a permission slip]
Sister Mary Lazarus: Give us back our consent form.
Sister Mary Clarence: Stop that!
Mother Superior: God help us.
Sister Mary Clarence: What the hell are you doing?
Tanya: [to Rita] You take the top and I'll take the bottom. Just try it.

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