Robin Monroe, a New York magazine editor, and the gruff pilot Quinn Harris must put aside their mutual dislike if they are to survive after crash landing on a deserted South Seas island.

Robin: Whoa. What happened?
Quinn: It crumpled the landing gear when we hit.
Robin: Well, aren't you gonna fix it? I mean can't we, can't we reattach it somehow?
Quinn: Sure, we'll, like, glue it back on.
Robin: Aren't you one of those guys?
Quinn: What guys?
Robin: Those guy guys, you know, those guys with skills.
Quinn: Skills?
Robin: Yeah. You send them into the wilderness with a pocket knife and a Q-tip and they build you a shopping mall. You can't do that?
Quinn: No, I can't do that, but I can do this:
[Pops finger out of the side of his mouth]
Quinn: Does that help?
Robin Monroe: What are you looking at?
Quinn Harris: Nothing.
Robin Monroe: Something.
Quinn Harris: Nothing.
Robin Monroe: Oh, don't give me that, you were ogling.
Quinn Harris: Ogling? Let me ask you something. When you go into a department store to buy something like that what do you say to the clerk 'give me that outfit so no one will look at me?'
Robin Monroe: No, I like people looking - just not you.
Quinn Harris: If it makes you feel any better you're not my type.
Robin Monroe: Oh good, why?
Quinn Harris: Why?
Robin Monroe: Yeah, you know, I'm making conversation. Why?
Quinn Harris: You talk too much. You're opinionated. You're stubborn, sarcastic, and stuck up! Your ass is too narrow and your tits are too small.
Robin Monroe: Hey, you wanna know why you're not my type?
Quinn Harris: Nope.
Quinn Harris: I'm the best god damned pilot you'll ever get.
Robin Monroe: Hah! I've flown with you twice, you've crashed half the time!
Robin Monroe: [She turns around]
Robin Monroe: And there is nothing wrong with my tits.
Robin Monroe: [staring down a sheer cliff] Oh my God, now what?
Quinn Harris: [He grasps her hand] We go on three. One! Two!
Robin Monroe: I can't! You go, save yourself!
Quinn Harris: [He grabs her head and kisses her] I'm sorry.
Robin Monroe: For kissing me?
Quinn Harris: No. For this.
[He throws her over the side and jumps after her]
Angelica: Quinny, look what I got,
Quinn Harris: What's that, baby?
Angelica: It's a bathing suit, silly.
Frank Martin: I thought it was an eye patch.
Robin: [after using their only flare and hitting a palm tree with it] Oh no! Oh uh oh! Oh nuts!
Quinn Harris: [waking up still partly drunk] What the...? What the hell did you do? You wasted our only god damned flare to shoot a god damned palm tree?
Robin: I wouldn't have shot the god damned tree if you hadn't rolled into me. I was trying to signal the god damned plane.
Quinn Harris: What god damned plane?
Robin: [points to a commercial airliner in the sky] That god damned plane.
Quinn Harris: That god damned plane? That's a commercial airliner! It's 5 miles high going six hundred miles an hour. They wouldn't see a nuclear explosion if they were looking for it, much less a flare!
Robin: How the hell was I supposed to know that? If you hadn't drunken yourself into a coma maybe you could have told me that.
Quinn Harris: You know what you've done? You know what you've done? You've taken our one good chance of being found and pissed it away!
Robin: Don't you dare blame this on me. If you were half a pilot, we WOULDN'T BE ON THIS ISLAND!
Quinn Harris: I am the best god damned pilot you'll ever meet!
Robin: Hah! I've flown with you twice, you've crashed half the time.
Robin: [Walks away, leaving Quinn confused at her logic, does a double take] And there is nothing wrong with my tits!
Robin: I've flown with you twice and you've crashed half the time.
Robin Monroe: I am so scared.
Quinn Harris: If it makes you feel any better, I'm a little scared myself.
Robin Monroe: Uh, no. No, that does not make me feel better.
Quinn Harris: I thought that's what women wanted.
Robin Monroe: What?
Quinn Harris: Men who weren't afraid to cry, who were in touch with their feminine side.
Robin Monroe: No, not when they're being chased by pirates, they like 'em mean and armed!
Robin Monroe: You still look good.
Quinn Harris: I still AM good.
Quinn Harris: You know how a woman gets a man excited? She shows up. That's it. We're guys, we're easy. Of course for that you can't charge six bucks an issue, now can you?
[Quinn and Robin come across an old plane that crashed on the island]
Robin Monroe: This is not a good island for airplanes.
Quinn Harris: What's that you're taking?
Robin Monroe: Xanax. My doctor prescribed them for situations of tension, and I think this qualifies.
Quinn Harris: Give me a couple.
Robin Monroe: You just drive.
Quinn Harris: You deserve someone... fresher.
Robin Monroe: Isn't that up to me to decide?
Quinn Harris: Let's be reasonable about this. You're not gonna come down here and be my co-pilot and I'm not gonna go to New York and be your receptionist. Let's not complicate things.
Robin Monroe: Oh, I forgot, you like things simple.
Quinn Harris: Yeah.
[Quinn's hand is in Robin's shorts - to catch a water snake that swam inside]
Robin Monroe: I better not catch you smiling.
Quinn: They come here looking for the magic, hoping to find romance, when they can't find it anywhere else.
Robin: Maybe they will.
Quinn: It's an island, babe. If you didn't bring it here, you won't find it here.
Quinn Harris: How do you want it?
Robin: Excuse me?
Quinn Harris: Do you want it sugar-coated, or right between the eyes?
Robin: You Pick.
Quinn Harris: We got no landing gear, so we can't take off. Lightning fried the radio, so we can't call for help. AirSea with try a rescue mission but without a beacon to hone in on it's like trying to find a flea on an elephant's ass. The only thing we got is this flare gun with a single flare.
Robin: Is it too late to get it sugar coated?
Quinn Harris: That was sugar-coated.
Robin Monroe: Pirates? As in "arrrgh"?
Robin Monroe: Ever since we've been here you've been so confident.
Quinn Harris: Well I'm the captain. That's my job. It's no good for me to go waving my arms in the air and screaming "Oh shit, we're gonna die!" That doesn't invoke much confidence, does it?
Angelica: Do you want to stay here tonight?
Frank Martin: [looks at bed] Stay?
Angelica: Yeah, with me? I mean you probably think I'm being slutty or something, but you're feeling bad and I'm feeling bad, and I'd really like for you to stay.
Frank Martin: I... I... I just don't
[she takes off her skirt]
Frank Martin: Yeah!
Robin Monroe: You're here.
Quinn Harris: I decided my life is too simple, I wanna complicate the hell out of it.
Frank Martin: Well done Ocean. Well done sky.
Robin: Well done Mai Tais.
Frank Martin: [Beautiful busty woman walks by] Well done Silicone.
Angelica: It's like after a funeral, everybody has sex.
Robin: [Grabs Radio] Attention K-Mart shoppers. Snow-shovels are on sale for $ 12.99!
[Robin and Quinn are sailing at the inflatable boat]
Robin Monroe: So what's the deal with you and... uhm...
[Robin draws breasts in the air]
Quinn Harris: Angelica.
Robin Monroe: Yeah.
Quinn Harris: No deal. We're friends. She works at the hotel couple of months a year, we have some laughs... keep it simple.
Robin Monroe: Well, has it always been... simple, or has there ever been anyone complicated?
[Quinn gives Robin a nasty look]
Robin Monroe: That's a yes. Yes? How complicated? Scale from one to ten.
Quinn Harris: Twelve.
Robin Monroe: Yeah, you know, I'm making conversation. Why?
Quinn: You talk too much. You're opinionated. You're stubborn, sarcastic and stuck up! Your ass is too narrow and your tits are too small.
Robin Monroe: Hey, you wanna know why you're not my type?
Quinn: Nope.
[Waking up in Angelica's bed]
Frank Martin: Oh no. What did I do? And how many times did I do it?
Frank Martin: I want this to be the most unforgettable vacation of our lives.
Robin Monroe: I've had just about as much vacation as I can stand.

If you find QuotesGram website useful to you, please donate $10 to support the ongoing development work.