Slackers Quotes
When geeky Ethan discovers three fellow students scamming the examination system, he blackmails them to win over the college's most popular girl.
Ethan: [singing] I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm the kind of guy who will, not insist that you go on the Pi-ill, I'm cool with splitting the bi-ill, and I'll kill who you want me to KILL! And you can smack my bottom, I don't got no condoms, we've got a lot in common, you and me. Don't you see, don't you see, d-d-d-d-don't you see, my heart is bea-beat-ing, t-t-ting, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-OH! Angela! Oh how I need you so. Cause your eyes are like two shining blue rockets in the night, come to take me away, come abduct me, or maybe you won't, and you'll wake up when I cry, and don't let me hurt you, just by accident, I probably won't, but just in case I do, maybe - AH! Fudge.
Ethan: [singing] I love you but, I hate you, which brings to mind, how much I love you. We could have worked this out you know, in a little room, in a little locked room. I'm sorry you had to settle for Dave, the one-dimensional man. He's filed under "Cocksucker" in my little black book. Sweetness can rot your teeth. Bittersweet, cacophony. But you hold the key, you hold the key, to my little locked room. You hold the key, you hold the key, to my little locked whoa-ooh-oh-oh. Please let... me... out soon. I luh you.
Dave: It was my fate to meet her.
Jeff: But it wasn't your fate to be with her. Unfortunately, my friend, fate has a different plan for you. You will grow up, go out into the world. You'll forget all about the things that happened here. Ethan, Angela... the shit we pulled. Those hookers that we thought were girls. And you're going to go out there and no-one - no-one can shoot you down because a woman one time stepped on your heart and left a scar in its wake. That is your fate, Dave. Just as it is my fate to some day become shogun.
Jeff: But it wasn't your fate to be with her. Unfortunately, my friend, fate has a different plan for you. You will grow up, go out into the world. You'll forget all about the things that happened here. Ethan, Angela... the shit we pulled. Those hookers that we thought were girls. And you're going to go out there and no-one - no-one can shoot you down because a woman one time stepped on your heart and left a scar in its wake. That is your fate, Dave. Just as it is my fate to some day become shogun.
Mr. Leonard: Good afternoon, Mr. Dulles.
Dave: Call me Jack.
Mr. Leonard: But is says here your first name is Ethan?
Dave: Nah, just call me Jack.
Mr. Leonard: All right, Jack. If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
Dave: Hmmm, I'd have to say... slave to the freaky ass booty.
Mr. Leonard: That's more then one word.
Dave: Call me Jack.
Mr. Leonard: But is says here your first name is Ethan?
Dave: Nah, just call me Jack.
Mr. Leonard: All right, Jack. If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
Dave: Hmmm, I'd have to say... slave to the freaky ass booty.
Mr. Leonard: That's more then one word.
Dave: I'm a commercial airline pilot.
Hot Twin #1: Yeah, whatever.
Dave: No, I'm a commercial airline pilot.
Hot Twin #1: Ha, ha.
Dave: I, ladies, am a professional... commercial... airline... pilot.
Hot Twin #1: Cool!
Hot Twin #2: Cool!
Hot Twin #1: Is he a pilot too?
Jeff: FBI. I get the ugly one.
Hot Twin #1: Yeah, whatever.
Dave: No, I'm a commercial airline pilot.
Hot Twin #1: Ha, ha.
Dave: I, ladies, am a professional... commercial... airline... pilot.
Hot Twin #1: Cool!
Hot Twin #2: Cool!
Hot Twin #1: Is he a pilot too?
Jeff: FBI. I get the ugly one.
Jeff: We have been getting screwed by the system. The system that forces us guys to like girls. All right? We're getting pushed into this. What if we just take the girls out of it? We can have our own system, it's a counter-system. And then, you do things together, you swim, you row, you... boat, you eat, you stink. We can just be guys! You can have sex, you can do it, you know, many guys at a time, but it's not gay.
Jeff: Yoo-hoo, it's Steve Pasternack, looking for Angela! Angela, please!
Reanna: Do I fucking know you?
Jeff: Uh, I lent Angela my notebook, because I take such world "famous" notes. So I was wondering if I could... are you busy with something?
Reanna: Yeah. I was masturbating.
Jeff: Heh. Hoo! Masturbating. In the dorms. Well, that's what you get when you go to art school.
Reanna: Do I fucking know you?
Jeff: Uh, I lent Angela my notebook, because I take such world "famous" notes. So I was wondering if I could... are you busy with something?
Reanna: Yeah. I was masturbating.
Jeff: Heh. Hoo! Masturbating. In the dorms. Well, that's what you get when you go to art school.
