Son of the Mask Quotes

Tim Avery, an aspiring cartoonist, finds himself in a predicament when his dog stumbles upon the mask of Loki. Then after conceiving an infant son "born of the mask", he discovers just how looney child raising can be.

Odin: There was a baby, born of The Mask!

Tim Avery: [right before Odin is about to punish Loki] Hey! Look here, Grisly Adams, I don't know how it works in the immortal world, but your his *father*, he's your *son*, and even if you banish him, he's still gonna be your son. Nothing, in this universe is more important than your relationship with your family. I would think it's even more important for you guys. You're like a thousand, he's like eight-hundred, you might as well get it right now and enjoy the rest of eternity.

[repeated line]
Loki: Where's my *mask*?

Tim Avery: Hey, Loki.
[suddenly picks up a phone receiver and shouts]
Tim Avery: Give me back my son!
Loki: Um... No
[speeds off]

Loki: I'm a god. I can shape-shift. I can create stuff out of nothingness. I can alter the fabric of reality. So please, quit being a knucklehead.

Museum Person: Good God!
Loki: And don't you forget it!

Tim Avery: Who are you?
Loki: I'm Loki, God of Mischief.
Tim Avery: And I'm Tim, God of Crazy-Baby-Land. Can you move please?
Loki: Your son was born of the mask, *my* mask. Where is it?
Tim Avery: Born of the... Oh! So, that's why he can pee like that.

Tonya Avery: Do you need anything while I'm out? I'm just gonna go make a baby with the neighbor.

[repeated line]
Odin: Looookkiiiiiiii!

Loki: [about Odin] Off the throne... He's off the throne. That's not good.

Tim Avery: Smokin! Causes... cancer.

Dr. Neuman: I don't like it here.

Tonya Avery: [imitating Tim] Who's a fish?

Loki: Thanks for dropping by.
Museum Security Guard: Dropping?
Loki: Bye!

[last lines]
Tonya Avery: Yay! Yay! Honey, oh, that was such a good show. But, I think you might need to add another character.
Tim Avery: What? Really?
Tonya Avery: Yeah.
Tim Avery: What do you think about that Double A? A little brother or sister? How does that sound?

Odin: As expected, you've failed at your promise. You've failed at your quest. You are, in ever sense of the word, a failure.
Tim Avery: [to Tanya] Wow, and I thought your dad was mean.
Loki: Hey, we both knew it was gonna end this way, right? You practically set me up for failure, so at least I'm living up to your expectation in that regard.
Odin: Silence!

[first lines]
Dr. Neuman: The Mifulu represent a fascinating example of failed culture. The people of the Mifulu communicated entirely in rhyme, although that's actually less impressive than it sounds, because their language only contained one vowel. Also, if you've noticed, the only artifacts we've been able to unearth are primitive musical instruments. The Mifulu's had plenty of drums, guitars, harmonicas and the like, but no weapons or tools. So, in essence, they had rhythm, they had music, but they had no hammers and spears, so they died. In any case, this brings us to the final room of the tour and my personal favorite, the hall of Norse Mythology.

Tim Avery: Okay, you give me Alvey, and the mask is yours.
Loki: [takes the mask and turns away with Alvey] I can't let go. I've grown attached.
Tonya Avery: Alvey!
Tim Avery: Hey, we had a deal!
Loki: I'm the God of friggin' Mischief, what did you expect?

Odin: [in the body of a shopkeeper] You know, Thor never gave me this kind of trouble.
Loki: Oh, here we go again with the Thor crap. Thor, Thor, Thor! You know, father, I'm not like Thor. I'm never gonna be like Thor. I just wish that - can't you just love me for who I am and not for who I'm not?
Odin: No! I want you to be more like Thor!

Tim Avery: So that's why he can pee like that!

Loki: [looks at the mask and sees it's a fake] THIS IS A FAKE!
Dr. Neuman: Yes, but it's a good fake.

Odin: [surprised] You did the conjuring ceremony, by yourself?
Loki: Hey, I pay attention... sometimes.

Odin: Now, find that mask, before I open up a can of lightning on you!

Daniel Moss: Who's that green guy?

Loki: Okay, no let me think. What should I turn him into?

Odin: [possessing the shopkeeper] Fool! What in Helveti were you about to do to this shopkeep?
Loki: Nothing, I...
Odin: Fool! Don't lie to me! You know Thor never gave me this kind of trouble.
Loki: Here we go again with the Thor crap.

Tonya Avery: Okay, I'm just gonna say it. That was flat out embarassing.