A mercenary is killed, but comes back from Hell as a reluctant soldier of the Devil.

[first lines]
Cogliostro: The battle between Heaven and Hell has waged eternal, their armies fueled by souls harvested on Earth. The devil, Malebolgia, has sent a lieutenant to Earth to recruit men who will turn the world into a place of death in exchange for wealth and power, a place that will provide enough souls to complete his army and allow Armageddon to begin. All the Dark Lord needs now is a great soldier, someone who can lead his hordes to the gates of Heaven and burn them down.
Clown: [imitating Jimmy Stewart] "Uh, well, well, every time someone farts, a demon gets his wings."
Clown: [farts twice]
Clown: Oops, twins.
Clown: In the name of the people and things of Hell, I dub thee... Spawn, general of Hell's armies. Arise, Your Crispness! Arise, Duke of Deep-Fried! Sultan of Sizzling! Emir of Ooey-Gooey!
Clown: [in cheerleader get-up as he watches Cyan] What a pretty little dress. I wonder if she's it in my size?
[begins cheering]
Clown: Spawnie, Spawnie, he's our man, if he can't kill 'em, no one can. Yay, Spawnie! S to the P to the A to the AWN, S to the P to the A to the AWN. Go, Spawnie, go Spawnie.
Jessica Priest: It's a little early for Halloween, Simmons.
Spawn: Where you're going, every day's Halloween.
Clown: I'm gonna cut you into 50 pieces and mail you to every state.
Clown: [while acting as a clown at Cyan's birthday party] I've got more tricks than a hooker!
Clown: I say destroy the cosmos, ask questions later.
Spawn: You filthy little piece of vermin. What makes you think I would join your army? You can take that army of yours and shove it.
Clown: Sounds like a country song.
Clown: "You can take that army of yours and shove it. You can take that..."
Clown: Uh-oh. You've got that, "I want to beat the fat little man" look in your eyes.
Clown: The master and I are going to have words. He knows I hate clowns. God, I hate them. I hate them all. I hate Bozo, Ronald, Chuckles with their freakin' dumb noses and their lousy party hats! Arrgh! I don't mind being short, fat, and ugly, but the pay sucks!
Al Simmons: You son of a bitch. You knew what was going in all along.
Jason Wynn: I do believe he's catching on.
[Jessica hoses Al down with flammable liquid]
Jason Wynn: Enjoy your retirement, old friend. Oh, and by the way, don't worry about Wanda. I'll take good care of her.
Al Simmons: You touch her, and you're a dead man.
Jason Wynn: You're the dead man.
[Wynn throws cigarette on Al and he catches on fire]
Jason Wynn: See you in hell, Al.
Spawn: Aah! Feels like my skin is about to explode.
Clown: That's just your viral necroplasm going through its larval stage. Pretty soon you're going to get hair in funny places, and you're gonna start thinking about girls. Ha! Getting a chubby, studly? A half guy, semi?
Spawn: [to Cogliostro] All right, Yoda, just hold on.
Clown: [to a group of would-be Satanists] Shocked and amazed at the wonders of necroflesh? You're not alone. For a limited time only, you too can have this handsome epidermis for the eensy price of your soul and a buttload of pain.
Cogliostro: The war between Heaven & Hell depends on the choices we make, and those choices require sacrifice. That's the test.
Clown: [imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger] You have been violated little girly man.
Spawn: God.
Clown: [covering ears] Aah! Did you have to use the "G" word? La la la la la la.
Clown: Oh, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. Bad crispy! Bad crispy! Clown not like.
Clown: You're dead. D-E-D. Dead.
Clown: Why do you people always question? Why ask why, when *how* is so much more fun?
Spawn: [after he sees his wounds heal for the first time] Daaaamn.
Clown: Ooh. Burnt man walkin'.
Clown: How come God hogs up all the good followers, and we're left with the retards?
Spawn: NO!
Clown: Oh, come on. You scream like a girl. Do it like this.
[high pitched]
Clown: AAAH! Someone's a little angry 'cause they died and went to...
Clown: / Hello, my mutant, Hello, my carcass, Hello, my bug-infested corpse. /
Jason Wynn: You don't quit us, son. We are not the U.S. Postal Service.
Clown: [after Spawn cuts off his head] You're gonna pay for this. It's not over yet. I'll gum you to death. I'll bite you.
[tries to pick his head up with his tongue]
Clown: Hey, Wanda, how do you think of my little head, huh?
[the rest of his body melts as well as his head]
Clown: This is your last to join up. Think about it. Come on.
[his head continues to melt]
Clown: You'll pay for this.
Jessica Priest: Looks like I'm up for a promotion.
Al Simmons: You wipe his ass, too?
Clown: [farts] Oops. A wet one. I hope I didn't stain my underwear. Look at that. Skid marks.
Clown: [as Wanda] You pansy bacon crisp!
Jason Wynn: He killed Priest! He damn near killed me!
Clown: You say that like it's a bad thing.
[after defeating the Clown]
Spawn: Give my regards to your boss. Tell him he's next.
Spawn: Just get me to a hospital.
Clown: A hospital? Have you looked in a mirror lately, burnt man walking? Even the entire cast of "E.R." couldn't put you back together again.
Clown: Open wide and say, "AAH"!
Clown: If you strike oil, half of it is mine.
Clown: Come on, my barbecued friend. Don't want to keep that side order of potato salad waiting, now do we?
Doctor: What have we got?
Paramedic: [about Priest] Gunshot wound to the head doc.
Doctor: Eh, she's dead.
Clown: No more clowning around. I'm not the Vindicator or the Victimizer or the Vaporizer or the Vibrator! I'm...
Clown: The Violator!
Cogliostro: [to Violator] All right, you overgrown gecko. Come and get your throat cut!
Cogliostro: This is just what they want. You're playing their game.
Spawn: [cocks his gun] Then I'll play dirty.
Cogliostro: Guns are useless.
Spawn: You got a better idea?
Cogliostro: [runs circles around Spawn and wraps chains around Spawn as well] I might.
Jason Wynn: [to Clown] When the all the world is mind, I will personally fry your lard-ass.
Spawn: What... is this?
Clown: Ooh, boy you are tied to that track and that stupid train just kept running over you now, didn't it? Running over you.
Spawn: Aren't there any normal people left on Earth? Or is everybody just back from Hell?
Clown: I love the smell of burning asphalt in the morning.
Clown: Wynn and Wanda sitting in a tree, S-U-C-K-I-N-G
Zack: Relax, mister. I've seen worse faces at the coroner's.
Spawn: Thanks, kid. That makes me feel *much* better.
Spawn: You sent me to Hell, Jason! I'm here to return the favor!
Spawn: What are you looking at, old man?
Cogliostro: You tell me.

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