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A maverick skydiver and a former KGB agent team up to stop the Russian mafia from stealing gold.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Let's just say she did for bullshit what Stonehenge did for Rocks.
Chris Morrow: Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti. Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Excuse me? Chris Morrow: KGB, for short. Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Oh, come on! It's the KG-used-to-B!
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Don't worry, I brought my Coffeetron Dick Defender.
Chris Morrow: I'd be stupid to trust my life to a walking penis. Richard "Ditch" Brodie: I'm much more than a walking penis, I'm a flying penis!
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: [Trying to speak Russian] The buses here don't work. I am an asshole.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: What's Russian for 'ass'? Chris Morrow: Schzopa. Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Well, stop blowing smoke up my schzopa.
Chris Morrow: Shoot! Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Ah, it's broken! Chris Morrow: The safety's on, you idiot!
Chris Morrow: [after gulping tequila from the bottle] What was that? Richard "Ditch" Brodie: You swallowed the worm. Chris Morrow: Well, I was trained to swallow all sorts of things. Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Careful. I may just have to marry you.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip!
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: For someone I've never slept with you sure fucked me pretty good.
Richard 'Ditch' Brodie: Oh, god... no... dead people... agh.
Chris Morrow: Well, I was trained to swallow all sorts of things. Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Careful, I might just have to marry you.
