The Angriest Man in Brooklyn Quotes

A perpetually angry man is informed he has 90 minutes to live and promptly sets out to reconcile with his family and friends in the short time he has left.

Henry Altmann: [narration] When Henry Altmann fell from the bridge time had slowed. And it occurred to Henry that life didn't have to be a burden, that life is short and fragile and unique. And each hour, each minute, each second could have something to offer. Something beautiful and astounding. The fact that this only occurred to him seconds before he would hit the water and die, made him very very angry.

[from trailer]
Bette Altmann: I wish you were dead!
Henry Altmann: Well, it's your lucky day!

Henry Altmann: Anger is the only thing they left me. Anger is my refuge, it's my shield. Anger is my birthright!

[from trailer]
Bette Altmann: Henry, what's going on?
Henry Altmann: We have to have sex, immediately! I don't have a lot of time...

Henry Altmann: [at Sharon] You told me I was gonna die in ninety minutes, because your cat jumped out a window?

[from trailer]
Sharon Gill: The important thing is, we find your brother and get him admitted to a hospital immediately. Make sure he remains calm and does nothing to raise his blood pressure.
Aaron Altmann: Like?
Sharon Gill: Anger.
Aaron Altmann: And you've met my brother?

[from trailer]
Aaron Altmann: [to Henry] Reconciliation, in ninety minutes? Are you trying to kill yourself?

[Henry enters a tech shop]
Henry Altmann: I need a camcorder! And I need one quick!
[Ruben gets up slowly]
Ruben: W... w... w... w... what type are you interested?
Henry Altmann: Oh, it doesn't matter! Just one of those!
[points at a shelf]
Henry Altmann: That one, right there!
Ruben: The P... P... P... P... Panasonic, or the F... F... F... F... Fujitsu?
Henry Altmann: [points again] No, THAT one!
Ruben: Oh, the Samsung?
Henry Altmann: Yeah, the Samsung! I'll take it!
Ruben: W... w... w... w... warranty?
Henry Altmann: No, definitely not.

Henry Altmann: [holds a Samsung camcorder] How do I get it to work?
Ruben: F... F... F... F... first, you have to charge the b... b... b...
Henry Altmann: Batteries? How long will that take?
Ruben: F... F... F... F... Four hours.
Henry Altmann: Does the world hate me?... Do you have one that's ready to go right now?
Ruben: [looks at the shelf] The F... F... F... F... Fujitsu . or the F... F... F... F... Fuji...
Henry Altmann: Which one do you recommend, the F... F... F... F... Fujitsu or the F... F... F... F... Fuji?
Ruben: F... F... F... F... Fuck you!
[beat]
Henry Altmann: Bravo!

The Angriest Man in Brooklyn Quotes

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