The Commitments Quotes
When Jimmy Rabbitte wants to start a band, he has open auditions at his house.
Jimmy Rabbitte: What do you play?
Failed Drug Buyer: I used to play football in school.
Jimmy Rabbitte: I mean, what instrument?
Failed Drug Buyer: I don't.
Jimmy Rabbitte: What are you doing here, then?
Failed Drug Buyer: Well, I saw everyone else lining up, so, uh - I thought you were selling drugs.
Failed Drug Buyer: I used to play football in school.
Jimmy Rabbitte: I mean, what instrument?
Failed Drug Buyer: I don't.
Jimmy Rabbitte: What are you doing here, then?
Failed Drug Buyer: Well, I saw everyone else lining up, so, uh - I thought you were selling drugs.
Jimmy Rabbitte: [pretending to be Terry Wogan] So, lookin' back Jimmy, what have you learned from your experience with The Commitments?
Jimmy Rabbitte: Well, that's a tricky question, Terry. But as I always say, we skipped the light fandango, turned cartweels 'cross the floor. I was feelin' kinda seasick, but the crowd called out for more.
Jimmy Rabbitte: [pretending to be Terry Wogan] That's very profound Jimmy! What does it mean?
Jimmy Rabbitte: I'm fucked if I know,Terry!
Jimmy Rabbitte: Well, that's a tricky question, Terry. But as I always say, we skipped the light fandango, turned cartweels 'cross the floor. I was feelin' kinda seasick, but the crowd called out for more.
Jimmy Rabbitte: [pretending to be Terry Wogan] That's very profound Jimmy! What does it mean?
Jimmy Rabbitte: I'm fucked if I know,Terry!
Jimmy Rabbitte: What do you call yourselves?
Derek: "And And And."
Jimmy Rabbitte: "And And fuckin' And?"
Derek: Well, Ray's thinking of putting an exclamation mark after the second "and." Says it'd look deadly on the posters.
Jimmy Rabbitte: Psshh...
Outspan Foster: You don't like it? You think it should go at the end?
Jimmy Rabbitte: I think it should go up his arse.
Outspan Foster: Well, we're not married to it.
Derek: "And And And."
Jimmy Rabbitte: "And And fuckin' And?"
Derek: Well, Ray's thinking of putting an exclamation mark after the second "and." Says it'd look deadly on the posters.
Jimmy Rabbitte: Psshh...
Outspan Foster: You don't like it? You think it should go at the end?
Jimmy Rabbitte: I think it should go up his arse.
Outspan Foster: Well, we're not married to it.
Joey: Look, I know you're hurtin' now, but in time you'll realize what you've achieved.
Jimmy Rabbitte: I've achieved nothing!
Joey: You're missin' the point. The success of the band was irrelevant - you raised their expectations of life, you lifted their horizons. Sure we could have been famous and made albums and stuff, but that would have been predictable. This way it's poetry.
Jimmy Rabbitte: I've achieved nothing!
Joey: You're missin' the point. The success of the band was irrelevant - you raised their expectations of life, you lifted their horizons. Sure we could have been famous and made albums and stuff, but that would have been predictable. This way it's poetry.
Jimmy Rabbitte: I'd like to introduce you to the hardest-workin' band in the world. On bass, Derek "Meatman" Scully. On piano, Steven "Soul Surgeon" Clifford. Dean "Mr Nipple" Fay on sax. Joey "The Lips" Fagan on trumpet. Our gorgeous chanteuses are Bernie, Imelda, and Natalie. Deco "Deep Throat" Cuffe on vocals. On lead guitar, Outspan "Fender bender" Foster. Finally, on drums, Mickah "Don't Fuck With Me" Wallace. Ladies and gentlemen, The Commitments.
Natalie: You all right, Jimmy?
Jimmy Rabbitte: Sure. They just get on my arse at times.
Natalie: Wanna share a taxi home?
Jimmy Rabbitte: For fuck's sake, Natalie. How could you ask me that after what I just said in there?
Natalie: Well if you weren't the manager, would you?
Jimmy Rabbitte: Would I what?
Natalie: ...take me home?
Jimmy Rabbitte: But I am the manager.
Jimmy Rabbitte: Sure. They just get on my arse at times.
Natalie: Wanna share a taxi home?
Jimmy Rabbitte: For fuck's sake, Natalie. How could you ask me that after what I just said in there?
Natalie: Well if you weren't the manager, would you?
Jimmy Rabbitte: Would I what?
Natalie: ...take me home?
Jimmy Rabbitte: But I am the manager.
Outspan Foster: What's that? A Mister Chippy van?
Mickah Wallace, Drums: We can't travel in that shit heap.
Joey: Buddy Holly's last words.
Bernie: What?
Joey: We can't travel in that shit heap.
Outspan Foster: Did Buddy Holly say that?
Joey: Before he flew to meet his destiny on that storm-tossed night.
Outspan Foster: Will crashin' in a chipper van make us famous, huh?
Mickah Wallace, Drums: We can't travel in that shit heap.
Joey: Buddy Holly's last words.
Bernie: What?
Joey: We can't travel in that shit heap.
Outspan Foster: Did Buddy Holly say that?
Joey: Before he flew to meet his destiny on that storm-tossed night.
Outspan Foster: Will crashin' in a chipper van make us famous, huh?
Jimmy Rabbitte: Soul is the music people understand. Sure it's basic and it's simple. But it's something else 'cause, 'cause, 'cause it's honest, that's it. Its honest. There's no fuckin' bullshit. It sticks its neck out and says it straight from the heart. Sure there's a lot of different music you can get off on but soul is more than that. It takes you somewhere else. It grabs you by the balls and lifts you above the shite.
Joey: Are you doing what I said? Are you thinking of that reed as a woman's nipple?
Dean Fay: I am. But, I'm a little embarrassed, she's still in school.
Joey: Maybe you should set your sights a little higher? My trumpet was always Gina Lollobrigida.
Dean Fay: [thinking] How about Kim Basinger?
Joey: [holds his hand up to his chest as though cupping a breast] Is she?
Dean Fay: Oh, yeah!
Joey: Right. Pick a nipple and try again.
Dean Fay: I am. But, I'm a little embarrassed, she's still in school.
Joey: Maybe you should set your sights a little higher? My trumpet was always Gina Lollobrigida.
Dean Fay: [thinking] How about Kim Basinger?
Joey: [holds his hand up to his chest as though cupping a breast] Is she?
Dean Fay: Oh, yeah!
Joey: Right. Pick a nipple and try again.
Jimmy Rabbitte: Who're you, then?
Joey: Are you the one startin the band?
Jimmy Rabbitte: Yeah.
Joey: The name's Joseph Fagin. Joey "The Lips" Fagin.
Jimmy Rabbitte: [sarcastically] And I'm Jimmy "The Bollocks" Rabbitte
Joey: I get mine from my horn playing. How'd you get yours?
Jimmy Rabbitte: Don't get snotty with me.
Joey: I get snotty with no man.
Joey: Are you the one startin the band?
Jimmy Rabbitte: Yeah.
Joey: The name's Joseph Fagin. Joey "The Lips" Fagin.
Jimmy Rabbitte: [sarcastically] And I'm Jimmy "The Bollocks" Rabbitte
Joey: I get mine from my horn playing. How'd you get yours?
Jimmy Rabbitte: Don't get snotty with me.
Joey: I get snotty with no man.
Outspan Foster: There's a band around called "Free Beer". Always draws a big crowd.
Derek: I like "A Flock of Budgies".
Jimmy Rabbitte: We have to be "the" something. All the great sixties bands were "The Somethings".
Outspan Foster: We could be... The Northsiders.
Derek: Or The Liffy Lads.
Outspan Foster: How about... The Fucking Eejits?
Derek: I like "A Flock of Budgies".
Jimmy Rabbitte: We have to be "the" something. All the great sixties bands were "The Somethings".
Outspan Foster: We could be... The Northsiders.
Derek: Or The Liffy Lads.
Outspan Foster: How about... The Fucking Eejits?
