A man discovers that his best friend's wife is having an affair.

Ronny Valentine: Nick, great moments come from great opportunities. And that's what you've earned here today. It's what you've earned here today.
Ronny Valentine: I'd like to make a toast, to Burt and Sue. Wow, 50 years. I'd like to think that something that got you through those 50 years is a little friend I'd like to call honesty.
Burt: And love.
Ronny Valentine: Yes, that, which I think goes along with love.
Cousin Betty: And similar interests.
Ronny Valentine: Excuse me, who are you?
Cousin Betty: I'm Cousin Betty.
Ronny Valentine: First?
Cousin Betty: Second.
Ronny Valentine: You see, that doesn't really qualify. Someone can have sex with their second cousin and the kid would still be fine. You can't hide from the truth because it will come back.
Zip: You killed my fish.
Camera Clerk: What kind of birds will you be shooting?
Ronny Valentine: Unfaithful ones.
Nick Brannen: Geez Ronnie, you look like a mess.
Ronny Valentine: But the sweater looks good, huh?
Nick Brannen: What happened to you?
Nick Brannen: Barfight.
Beth: A barfight? Really?
Nick Brannen: Yeah, it was a biker's bar, the Zip Bar and Grill. It's a no good dirtbag place. You want to take that off the GPS.
Ronny Valentine: I'm not a marriage counselor! I don't want to be a marriage counselor!
Ronny Valentine: Let's face it. Electric cars are totally gay. I don't mean gay as in homosexual gay, I mean "My parents are chaperoning the dance" gay.
Susan Warner: I feel like I'm your Deep Throat. Have you seen that movie?
Ronny Valentine: All the President's Men?
Susan Warner: No, Deep Throat.
Geneva: I have a question for the table. How long does it take before you really know someone?
Beth: I think that you are always continuing to know someone. As time changes, so do we. I say that when things are tough and you see how someone is, you get a good sense of who they are.
Ronny Valentine: Yeah, that's right.
Nick Brannen: Well, I think that you can know in the first ten seconds of seeing someone. That's how I fell in love with Geneva.
Geneva: Awww.
Herbert Trimpy: Those plants are poisonous!
Ronny Valentine: I just saw my best friend's wife with another man. I'll send you a check.